The Ferryman (16 page)

As her purse took one final tiny swing and settled into position, she did her best to recall the ugly side of Fortune. She visualized the image of him in black leather seeking someone upon which to take out his anger, and she looked up.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as he closed the small distance between them.

“I find graveyards very peaceful,” she said as she took a step backwards and ran into the edge of the tomb she had just been admiring. She felt the rough stone scratching against her lower back as she slipped to the side of the grave.

“I don’t really like graveyards,” he confided as he took another step forward. “There’s nothing for me to do here.”

Karen took a few more steps and motioned towards the dirt walkway. It made a circuitous path through the rows of graves lining the hillside.

“Do you mind if we talk?” she asked.

“Of course, I don’t mind. I’m here for you.”

She wished she could believe him, but she wasn’t sure his help was for her benefit.

“Do you know anything about karma?” she asked when they had taken a few steps down the pathway. She studied his face as she waited for a reaction. She thought his expression would tell her more than his words, but he appeared impassive, and Karen let out a small sigh. It was easier to rob a grave than get an answer about life.

“What do you want with Karma?” His tone was polite. He stepped carefully along the dirt path, avoiding muddy areas that could soil his shoes.

“I’m just curious.”

“Oh, don’t bother,” Fortune assured her. “He’s not worth your time.”

“So he exists!” Karen smiled to herself.

“Yes, but he’s not real. He only thinks he is.”

“How can he exist but not be real?”

“People do it all the time. Honestly, you humans are the experts at this and you’re asking me. You watch other people do it every day!” He smiled briefly. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me.”

Karen stepped away as he tried to grasp her hand in his. Her fingertips brushed against his, filling her with a jolt of electricity. She still desired him, but she could now see him more clearly. He was trying to distract her from the subject of their conversation, and she wouldn’t let it happen this time.

“So you’ve actually met Karma?” she asked.

“I’d say he was a friend, but Karma is the ultimate frenemy.” He winked and gave her a slightly crooked smile.

“Wouldn’t that depend upon how you interact with him? Isn’t he just something of a reflection?”

“How should I know?” Fortune replied as he threw his hands up in the air. “I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t like the guy. That’s all I can say.”

“How does he fit in with Fate?”

“Look, I’m not really a talking kind of guy, if you know what I mean. I’m not saying I’m totally worthless on the subject, and if you’re looking for insight I can probably give you a little, but I don’t have the knowledge that Fate does. You should probably be talking to her.” His voice lost a little of the smooth edge as he spoke.

Karen rolled her eyes. Fate had been harsh and useless to her. She was the last person that Karen would ask for help. On the other hand, so far she appeared to be right about Fortune: he had been nothing but empty promises. Sure, he had charmed one ghost, but nothing he had done assisted Karen in escaping from Fate’s grasp. If anything, it had tightened her grip on Karen’s life by insisting that Karen wasn’t fulfilling the contract.

“You keep saying that you’re going to help me, but how can you? You don’t know what’s going to happen, so how do you know what you’re doing will help in the end?”

“I don’t.”

“But it all ends here, doesn’t it?” Karen said as she glanced around thoughtfully. “Neither you nor Fate have control once someone enters this place for good. Maybe that’s why she needed me.” Karen slowed her pace and inhaled the scent of the earth to clear her head. “I appreciate your honesty,” she finally said after a long pause.

“I’d appreciate another kiss.” He took a step towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. They stood facing one another as Karen closed her eyes and inhaled the rich scent of the decaying earth. The fragrance was like nourishment to her soul. When she opened her eyes Fortune was leaning forward to touch his lips upon hers, and she stopped him.

“I don’t think we should.” Karen placed her hand against his chest. She felt the pull. She wanted him, but she braced her elbow against his torso to prevent him from kissing her. After a few gentle attempts to move closer again he finally gave up and released her.

“You know that Fate only gave you that last job to get back at you. She knew he was an impossible case. A happy haunter, they call those types,” Fortune explained.

“How do you know what job she gave me?”

“She’s a bit ticked off about that kiss,” he continued, “but I offer no apologies to her or anyone else. When feelings this strong come about it’s no good ignoring them. I just simply can’t do it, and she knows it. So she’s taking it out on you by giving you an unworkable task that no one can achieve.”

Karen looked away and studied a nearby gravestone as she considered the situation. She had thought about this, also. But the more she considered it, the less it made sense. Fate had mentioned that Fortune kissed people all the time, which didn
’
t appear to bother Fate. It was as if it were part of his job. Was it really? Was his affection or contempt impersonal? It didn’t feel impersonal, but it could be, and maybe that was why Fate never felt threatened.

As Fortune reached out for her Karen turned away and started walking.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” he asked as his eyes became moist. “I thought we had something special.”

“You don’t like graveyards, but Fate loves them, doesn’t she?” Karen asked.

He paused to dab his eyes with a white handkerchief, but didn’t speak. Karen wasn’t sure if he was acting or genuinely felt hurt, but she didn’t care.

“Why isn’t she here?” Karen continued. “Did she send you, instead?”

“She’s here,” he said quietly.

“Why don’t I see her?”

“Like the magician who manipulates his audience, she doesn’t want you to see what she’s doing.”

“What do you mean? She’s always here? She’s everywhere?”

“I’m saying that her presence requires your permission.” He folded the handkerchief neatly and placed it back in his pocket. “Your future is in the hands of Fate because you’ve allowed it to be. I’m offering you an alternative.”

“Oh, you ass,” Fate said loudly. Karen looked up to see Fate dressed in a tan and brown plaid suit with a tailored dark blue shirt. “I see you’re finally learning to wear boots,” she said as she studied Karen’s feet. “I feel like you’re making progress, don’t you agree?”

“Why do you sneak up like that?” Karen snapped. “It’s rude.”

“It’s my nature. No one hears me coming unless I want them to. When I arrive they always recognize that they should have seen or heard something. The signs are always there, but I know how to be subtle, unlike Fortune.”

“Well,” Karen said, addressing both of them with confidence. She stood with her feet planted in the muddy soil of the path and placed one hand on her hip. “It seems appropriate to be here in the cemetery where it all began.”

Fate laughed. Fortune simply turned to look at the horizon.

“You think you can get out of your contract by coming back here?” Fate asked.

“I think it’s time for this to end. I’m done.”

“You were right about one thing. This started in a cemetery, and it will end in one: when you’re dead,” Fate said as she drew her eyebrows together. “Do you think he’s going to help you? I’ve told you about his promises. Appearances are deceiving, and Fortune isn
’
t all that he seems.”

“I know,” Karen agreed. “But neither are you.” She spit out the words so quickly that she didn’t know they were true until she said them aloud and watched Fate’s reaction. “And maybe I’m not all I seem, either,” she conceded.

“What does that have to do with anything? You’re in a binding contract with me,” Fate said with emphasis. “Or have you forgotten that?”

“Every time I try doing something to get out of this arrangement you stop me,” Karen replied calmly. “I admit that I didn’t know what I was doing. I don’t think anyone does when it comes to you, because I did a lot of research. None of the books or Internet sites have answers. People have ideas but no one knows anything for sure. I tried everything I could think of and nothing worked.”

“Because I’m the one in control.”

“You’re in control as long as I allow it,” she said as she stared Fate in the eye. She broke eye contact to address Fortune. “Both of you. And you’re equally unreliable. I don’t need either of you.”

“You’d be lost without me,” Fortune said. “You won’t know what to do.”

“No,” Karen insisted. “I already know what to do. I’m going to make my own decisions from now on and I won’t rely on either of you. I never should have dropped out of school in the first place, but that’s a mistake I can still fix.”

“That’s a nice sentiment, but only those of us who control the future are entitled to the luxury of opinions,” Fate replied with a smug half-smile on her face.

“Oh, don’t start that,” Fortune said. Both of his shoulders slumped forward as he sighed loudly. “You know that I don’t know the future. Why do you say things like that?” He threw his arms up in the air and then let them fall at his sides limply.

“You have other charms,” Fate assured him. “If everyone knew the future it would be very boring. There wouldn’t really be a point then, would there?”

“Well, you don’t have to rub it in.”

“Stop being insecure. It’s not attractive.”

“Who wouldn’t be insecure in my situation? I can change the course of history for better or worse, but I don’t really know which one it is. Do you know how annoying it is to help someone escape from prison only to be killed in a car accident the next day? Or to give someone their dream job only to see them injured and unable to perform it?”

“I wonder if these poor people know how disappointed you are with them,” Fate sneered.

Karen watched them bicker. It felt so rehearsed, as if they’d had the same argument over and over for thousands of years. It might not have been the exact same argument, but there were similarities. They fought over the outcomes of people’s lives the way other couples fought over which brand of coffee was better.

The tension in the argument was real, but there was also a sense of admiration and perhaps jealousy for the other’s role in the universe. They looked like two divas arguing over who would get more lines in the play or bigger billing, which made the whole thing seem even more like a play.

“How many times have you done this before? Are humans just part of your game?” Karen asked, interrupting Fortune’s assertion that the real problem in the universe was that Fate never really listened to him.

“What are you talking about?” Fate snapped.

“This isn’t a game. Maybe it is for her, but I’m nothing like that,” Fortune insisted as he motioned towards Fate. “I care about you, Karen. Fate is heartless. You know that.” Karen deliberately looked away from both of them and studied the bark of a nearby tree for a moment. She took a deep breath before responding.

“You work together. Yes, you’re different forces — and maybe you do fight for control. But you’re both after the same thing. Whatever it is, I’m not sure that it’s good for me. I need to make my own decisions.”

Karen had spent a lot of energy hating one and lusting after the other, but now she saw that she needed to walk away from both of them, no matter how good Fortune made her feel. Fortune could make her feel elated or depressed at any time during life. Fate could make her feel small and powerless. She’d done that for most of her life. Karen had felt as if Fate had condemned her to poverty while Fortune promised to override Fate and bless her. Perhaps they would both always be around to distract Karen from acquiring the skills she needed to be successful, but at the same time their actions showed Karen just how much she needed to direct her own life.

“Darling, you know I don’t care about anyone else. I am here for you,” Fortune said with emphasis. He tried to make eye contact with Karen as he was speaking, but she refused to look at him.

“You work for me,” Fate said loudly and a little too forcefully for Karen to believe that it was true. It might have been true before, but it wasn’t now. Fortune had been half right: both Fate and Fortune had as much power over her as Karen allowed.

As she felt the difference in her position, the coins in Karen’s hand slipped between her fingers and tumbled onto the sidewalk.
They hit the pavement and bounced several times before rolling to a stop. The noise reminded her of tiny bells and she suddenly felt lighter when she heard the sound. Karen turned away from both Fortune and Fate and started towards the cemetery exit.

“I love you,” Fortune called, but Karen never turned around again. “We could be very good together!”

“I own you!” Fate announced. Still, Karen kept walking with her suit coat flapping in the wind behind her and her boots making firm strides toward the exit. Her eyes focused on the gate and the tears of relief started to form as she thought about leaving Fate and Fortune behind. Instead, she thought about Claude and all the things she would help him to do to live as normal a life as possible. She hadn’t been spending as much time with him as she should have in the last few days, because she had been distracted by Fate and Fortune. But that would change now that she knew what was important. The best thing she could do in her life would be to teach Claude to live for himself and make his own decisions. She felt optimistic for the first time in years.

After Karen passed through the cemetery gate Fate turned to Fortune. She smiled faintly with satisfaction.

“She dresses much better now. You can see the positive influence I’ve had on her,” Fate said.

“I taught her to kiss. She really didn’t know how to put all of herself into it. Her kisses have soul now,” Fortune replied, and then he sighed.