The Feathered Bone (29 page)
Read The Feathered Bone Online
Authors: Julie Cantrell
“He did what?” She is a ball of fire. “Get up, Amanda. Get up!” She pulls my arm, and I claw my way from Ellie's bed.
“Ellie, you are not going to New Orleans. And, Amanda, you are not losing custody of our girl.” She gives my daughter a strong, confident look, assuring us both she's got this all under control. “Here's what we're going to do.” She hands me my phone. “You're going to call Carl right this minute. And you'll tell him there's no way on God's green earth Ellie will step foot in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. If he wants to file for divorce, then he can go right ahead. He owes you a favor anyway.”
Hello Sparrow,
It's Mardi Gras, and The Lady brought us a king cake. I call
her Bridgette now. It hurts her feelings if I don't. She got the piece with the baby, and she started dancing. She said she'd never won anything.
I told her the baby means good luck. That made her happy. She had never thought of herself as lucky before. I said, “Well, now you are.”
I told her about the three wise men and how the baby is supposed to be Jesus. She said it didn't make any sense that Mary was a virgin, and I told her lots of things don't make any sense. She said, “Ain't that the truth.”
Hello Sparrow,
I can't sleep. I keep thinking about a girl I knew who got pregnant. She was thirteen. Like me. Her name was Rose, and it turned out that her uncle was the father. She ended up having twins.
Rose lived with us for a while, even after the babies were born. She lived in the room next to mine. Then one day her uncle came to get her. They took the babies too. Never even said good-bye.
I told Bridgette this story, and she said, “Figures.”
I asked Bridgette why Rose would go back to the man who hurt her.
She sat real quiet for a long time. Then she said, “Maybe she loved him.”
Hello Sparrow,
I learned something about The Man and Bridgette. They aren't married.
My parents' anniversary is in March. I want to mail them a card, but Bridgette said, “I don't know how many times I gotta tell you. We're your family now.”
Every year Mom and Pop would say their vows, like they were getting married again:
From this day forward, I will be your home.
My arms will shelter you, never hurt you.
My words will soothe you, never defeat you.
And my love will strengthen you, never betray you.
Then Pop would turn and say them to me. He used to tell me there was nothing I could do to stop him from loving me. I hope so. Because I've had to do a lot of things he wouldn't like. That's for sure.
March 2006
T
HE GYM IS PACKED FOR THE ANNUAL MIDDLE SCHOOL FUND-RAISER
, where coaches and town leaders square off. They ride donkeys while playing basketball, and the noise is deafening. Between the pounding of the basketballs, the roar of the buzzer, and the cheer of the crowds, I have to lean close to hear Raelynn's story about her family's latest hunting adventures. Ellie sits with Nate and his brothers, playing a game on her phone and pretending she doesn't know anyone here. During halftime Raelynn glances toward her and says to me, “At least she came.”
“She's only here for Nate, you know. She'd never leave her room if it weren't for the school plays. Since Carl left, she just keeps sinking. I've tried everything.”
“Give her time.” The buzzer announces the start of the third quarter, and we both turn our attention back to the court. Raelynn cheers loudly for Nate's favorite coach, and the rest of us clap along when he scores. I watch the cheerleaders and wonder where Sarah is now. “Have you talked to him?” She's asking about Carl.
“I've tried. A million times. I can't get through to him. He won't let me finish a sentence.”
“What do you mean?”
“He shuts down every conversation. Tells me all I want to do is
fight, or that I'm crazy, or that I never wanted to be married in the first place.”
“Where'd he get that idea?” Raelynn laughs. “I don't know anybody who was a better wife than you. Except maybe Beth. But even I could be a good wife to a man like Preacher.”
“Carl should have married you.” I laugh. “You'd give him a reality check.”
“Ha! He'd be dead by now!” Then, after a pause, she adds, “I never would have married him. His true colors were showing way back from the start.”
“Not really, Raelynn. It didn't get bad until Sarah was taken. That's when things changed.”
She sits upright and widens her eyes. “Are you serious, Amanda? Let me remind you, this is the very same man who pushed you out of the car on prom night. Left you crying in the mud as he sped away. Remember? You called Beth and me to come get you. We found you with your dress torn. All covered in mud.”
“Let's watch the game.”
But Raelynn continues. She's ready to tell me all she's held in for years. I tune out, focusing instead on the donkeys and this ridiculous sport, wishing I could go back in time. Make different choices. Protect Sarah. Save my marriage. Fix these problems in Ellie's life.
“. . . And remember when you caught him cheating on you with that girl from Live Oak? He stormed through your mama's house and punched holes in her doors like a madman. What were you, fifteen? I told your mom that day, I said, âCarl doesn't really love Amanda.' And I was right. I knew it even then. You just never listen to me.”
“We were kids, Raelynn. We all did stupid things. Let's not talk about Carl. Okay?” I turn toward Ellie, ensuring she is safely out of earshot. There's nothing I can say. Raelynn's right. While there
were plenty of happy moments throughout the years, I should have known better than to believe Carl's violent temper would quell over time. That I could make him happy. Keep him calm.
“Move on, my friend. It's time.” Raelynn swings back around to watch the game. Then she leans closer. “I'm not trying to be mean. I just know how it goes. It starts off as a cold look, a hurtful word or two. Soon you're living in constant fear of criticism, attacks. You think you can handle a few broken mirrors and plates, but before you know it you've got broken bones too.”
“He never broke my bones, Raelynn.”
She lets out a long sigh and says, “He didn't have to.”
Raelynn keeps her eyes on me, making sure this sinks in. I respond as I always do, trying to defend Carl. “I just keep thinking he'll wake up and realize what he's doing to our family. To Ellie.” I look at my daughter and fight tears.
“You think he'll go to counseling?”
“Probably not. He actually agreed last week. I even found someone neutral, a therapist I didn't know. But Carl never showed up. I sat there, humiliated, with the counselor trying to fill the gaps.” I laugh it off. “But I have to try, Raelynn. I may not be able to save this marriage, but if the time comes to let it go, at least I'll know I gave it my best shot.”
“You've given it more than most would give.” She sighs. “I guarantee.”
We're less than a minute into the fourth quarter when a man in a suit and tie walks up to us. “Mrs. Salassi?”
“Yes?” I question as much as confirm.
He hands me a legal envelope and says, “You've been served.” His eyes offer apology. Then he leaves me sitting here, stunned. I pull open the envelope to find a petition for divorce.
Leaning over me as I read, Raelynn shouts, “What theâ” Then she tugs the papers from my hand. “You've got to be kidding me!” Somehow her voice calls out louder than all the other noises in the gym. People turn and stare. Even Ellie looks up from her phone, embarrassed.
From across the room, Jay watches the scene unfold. He leaves the group he's been talking to and heads our way.
I take the papers back from Raelynn and stuff them into the envelope, out of view.
Jay approaches, smiling, teasing Raelynn. “Ladies, I'm sorry to tell you. Someone has filed a complaint about a disturbance of the peace over here. Some woman with crazy red hair and too many tattoos keeps making a bunch of noise. Know anything about that?”
“Not now, Jay.” Raelynn jerks the envelope from my hands again, passing it to our friendly sheriff. “Look what this idiot has done now.” She turns back to me, growling, “I'm gonna kill him one day, Amanda, I swear.”
“What is it, Mom? What happened?” Ellie moves in closer, trying to understand the commotion.
Jay opens the papers, then gives us both a heartbreaking sigh of sympathy. I don't answer Ellie. And I don't respond to Jay. I am no longer here with either of them.
Hello Sparrow,
Something happened today. A new man came to visit. He paid The Man extra to leave us alone. “Privacy,” he said, and he locked the door. I thought he was like all the other
men who come to visit. But he wasn't. He whispered, “Is your name Sarah Broussard?”
I don't know what happened. I got scared. I sat there, looking at him.
He asked me again, “Are you Sarah Broussard?”
What if The Man sent this guy to test me? What if he was working for The Boss?
I didn't say a word. When he asked me the third time, I said, “My name is Holly.”
He gave me a weird look, and then he told me what he wanted me to do. When he was finished, he left. I think it was a test.