Read The Fashion Hound Murders Online

Authors: Elaine Viets

Tags: #Fiction, #Mystery & Detective, #Cozy, #Women Sleuths, #Amateur Sleuth, #General

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BOOK: The Fashion Hound Murders
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And little Miss Sunshine here kept it and killed Jonah Deerford, Josie thought. Traci said she wasn’t scared of snakes. And she hated Jonah.

“Nothing,” Josie said.

“Nothing is right,” Alyce said tartly. “Missouri has laws about owning exotic reptiles. From everything I’ve heard, Dr. Ted would be too careful to keep an animal that dangerous. He certainly wouldn’t use a snake to kill someone, no matter how much he disliked puppy millers.”

“You’re right,” Josie said. “I’m not making sense. I’m upset about Ted’s arrest. I know he hated millers, but he was trying to find legal ways to stop them.”

Traci patted Josie’s hand. “You’re right to be upset. I am, too. I still think that Deerford man deserved to die. But I believe Dr. Ted is innocent.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” Josie said. Alyce caught Josie’s double meaning and frowned.

“Well, how can we stop the millers?” Traci blushed bright red. “I mean besides not buying a puppy mill dog like I did.”

“You bought one, but you saved her,” Alyce said.

“Ted is trying to get the legislature to change those miller laws,” Josie said. “He also wants to get funding so federal officials can inspect more breeders. He wants people to write letters to their lawmakers and to the newspapers.”

“I already wrote the letters,” Traci said. “I gave money, too. Dr. Ted said it was important to support the organizations that fight puppy mills.”

“You can also buy clothes and toys at the Humane Society of Missouri’s gift shop,” Josie said. “The proceeds support their work.”

“Shop and save. I like that,” Traci said. “I’ll donate the amount of money I just spent today, too. But there must be some other way to make people know. I didn’t until it was too late.”

They chewed thoughtfully on their brownies. Traci let out a squeal that made everyone in the deli look at them. “I know! I’ll put up a video on YouTube about Snowball! I’ll tell her story! And other people can talk about their rescued puppies. My little Snowball can model the clothes I’ll buy her at the Humane Society gift shop.”

“A terrific idea,” Alyce said.

“I’ve got the name, too,” Traci said. “I’ll call it ‘Snow ball in Hell.’ ”

“Isn’t that the name of a song by They Might Be Giants?” Josie asked.

“They’re an alternative rock group,” Traci said. “Nobody’s heard of them.”

“They won a Grammy,” Josie said.

“My puppy will be more famous. ‘Snowball in Hell’ fits her because that’s where she was and that’s how much chance she had of surviving. But she did. We’ll show the world!” She raised her coffee cup and said, “To Snowball.”

Alyce and Traci toasted the new project with coffee. Josie reluctantly lifted her cup.

“I can’t wait to get the puppycam running,” Traci said. “Josie, would you like to come with us?”

“Wish I could,” Josie said. “But I have to file my report today. I’d better get going. But I’d like to buy your lunch.”

She dropped two twenties on the table and fled, but she knew she couldn’t escape her own pettiness.

Chapter 30

What’s wrong with me? Josie asked herself as she drove home.

Traci is harmless. Dressing up a dog doesn’t hurt anyone, not even the dog. And Alyce is generous enough to share her friendship with more than one person.

The problem is me, Josie decided. I don’t like Traci, her squeally voice or her cutesy outfits. I hate that she spends so much on dog clothes. And yes, I’m jealous. I wish I had that money for my daughter.

She finished her Upper Pup mystery-shopping report, giving Kate high marks for her customer service, and faxed it to Harry at two o’clock.

She felt something furry rub against her ankle and nearly shrieked. Then she saw Harry’s skinny, striped body. He bumped her leg with his forehead. Josie had read that was a cat greeting.

“Hi, guy,” she said. “Are you losing your shyness?”

She bent to pet him and Harry scuttled under the couch. Josie tried some dog woofs and growls, and Harry poked his head out to look around. Josie snapped his picture.

“Gotcha!” Josie said. “Wait till Amelia sees this.”

Josie couldn’t wait to tell Amelia that her cat had greeted her. She printed out Harry’s picture and brought it with her to the Barrington School that afternoon.

“Oh, Mom, look at those eyes!” Amelia said. “He looks smart and curious.”

All the way home Josie listened to Amelia pile on the Harry praise, but she was delighted to see her daughter chatting and laughing again. Too many of these school runs had been made in dispirited silence, until Josie had wondered if Amelia would ever be happy again.

“I have a cooking lesson at Grandma’s tonight,” Amelia said. “We’re making chicken and dumplings.”

“My favorite,” Josie said.

“We may need some extra time. This recipe can take two or three hours,” Amelia said. “Do you like fluffy dumplings or the flat ones?”

“Fluffy,” Josie said. “And take all the time you want. I have things to do.”

As soon as Amelia ran up the steps to her grandmother’s flat, Josie started making phone calls. The doggy tiara was sitting in a bag on the coffee table, and Josie wondered what she was going to do with it. Maybe she could give it to Traci, along with an apology. She called Alyce.

“I wanted to apologize,” Josie said.

“Oh, you’ve come out of your snit?” Her friend’s voice was frosty with disapproval. “You all but accused that poor woman of murder, Josie. She has enough problems with the subdivision snobs.”

“I’m sorry,” Josie said. “I could say I was tired, or worried about Ted, but the truth is I was a jerk and I’m jealous.”

“I forgive you.” Alyce’s voice was a shade warmer. “Admitting it is the first step to recovery. That was a joke,” she added quickly.

“I can give Traci that tiara if she’d like it.”

“I’m sure she’d love it. We spent two hours taping Snowball. That pair are naturals in front of a camera. Traci’s husband will help her load the video on YouTube tonight. I think she and Snowball are going to be stars.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” Josie said without a sneer.

She hung up before her new halo slipped. Harry was sitting next to her on the couch posed like a library lion. She didn’t want to scare away the skittish cat, so Josie ignored him. She called the clinic to see if Dr. Chris had any news about Ted.

The receptionist put Josie on hold for so long that she heard two commercials about dog dental care. The dangers of plaque were being pointed out the second time when Dr. Chris came on the line. Josie heard outraged meows in the background.

“Chris, it’s Josie. I just wanted to check on Ted.”

“Well, he’s been arraigned. The whole city knows that. There’s no bail because it’s a murder charge.”

“But it’s his first time,” Josie said.

“You don’t get a first time with murder,” Chris said. “The prosecutor said Ted was unmarried and painted him as a flight risk with no ties to the community. His lawyer mentioned the clinic, but that was discounted. So Ted is stuck in jail and I’m running the clinic without a partner. I just went three rounds with a fifteen-pound cat. I stuck a thermometer in her butt and she wrecked the exam room. Even knocked the computer monitor on the floor and broke it.”

“Sounds like you’re having a bad day. Is it okay if I visit Ted?”

“Yes, you can track him down through the St. Louis County Justice Center Jail Information Service. They’re surprisingly nice to the friends of future felons.”

They were, too. A woman told Josie the earliest she could see Ted was at seven o’clock that night. “And for forty minutes only,” the woman told her. “Be here on time.” Josie listened for signs of disapproval in her voice, but couldn’t detect any.

When Josie hung up, she saw she was scratching Harry’s ears. Better yet, he’d sat still for it. In fact, he was purring loudly. Why do I feel honored for doing Harry a favor? she wondered. Cats could teach us a lot.

Josie called her mother and said, “I have to run an errand at six thirty. What’s the ETA on the chicken and dumplings?”

“They’ll be ready in fifteen minutes, if you don’t mind coming up here,” Jane said.

“Are you kidding? I’d walk to Chicago for chicken and dumplings.”

“Upstairs is as far as you have to go,” Jane said.

Jane was still wearing long sleeves to cover the wounds from her dog attack, but otherwise she seemed to have recovered. The kitchen was warm and fragrant with comfort food. The chicken was just the way Josie liked it.

“These dumplings are light as clouds,” she told her daughter. “How did you do it?”

“Unlike her mother, Amelia listens to me,” Jane said. “She dropped the dumpling dough onto the chicken and kept the cover on for fifteen minutes without peeking. You always had to look, and that ruined them.”

“I was curious,” Josie said. Amelia snickered.

Josie and Amelia did the dishes in Jane’s kitchen and Amelia agreed to stay with her grandmother for another two hours. “Can I run downstairs and feed Harry?” she said. “I have to put out his stinky fish.”

“By all means,” Josie said. “I’ll talk to your grandma until you return.

“Thanks, Mom,” Josie said. “The lessons seem to be going well.”

“She’s a natural cook,” Jane said. “She’s a lot easier to teach than you were. I bought a fat stewing hen at the store. We’re going to make chicken soup for tomorrow. The weather is supposed to drop another thirty degrees tonight. Put on your warm coat.”

“You’re still a mom,” Josie said, and kissed Jane good-bye. She passed Amelia on the stairs.

Josie could feel the change in the temperature as she left the house and was glad she’d followed Jane’s advice about the coat. The sky was heavy with gray winter clouds. A single star showed through, like the coming promise of spring.

Josie arrived at the jail early. It wasn’t the first time she’d visited someone there, but it was just as depressing. Josie stood in a long line of people who looked like they’d just left work: Men and women in hospital scrubs, women in business suits, men in work boots. All seemed tired. The air was heavy with sadness and loud with the cries of children who should have been at home eating dinner.

No one ever comes here because they want to, Josie thought. Imagine building something that people dreaded entering.

Ted looked startlingly handsome seated behind the Plexiglas barrier, though his skin was slightly yellowed by the glaring lights. They spoke on telephones like in the movies. Even their dialogue sounded like a script.

“I didn’t do it, Josie,” he said. “You have to believe me.”

“I do, Ted,” Josie said. “I just hope the jury does.”

“I didn’t have any luck convincing the police,” he said. “I tried to tell them I never saw the skin from that coral snake in my life, but they didn’t believe me. How do you prove a negative?”

Josie didn’t answer that. She couldn’t. She changed the subject instead. “What kind of snake did you find in Traci’s garage?”

“A timber rattlesnake. And I let it loose in the woods where it belonged. It’s a Missouri snake. But I can’t prove that, either. And it’s getting cold again, so the snakes won’t be out sunning themselves.”

“Your partner, Chris, says you have an alibi for the days before Deerford’s death,” Josie said.

“Right now, my alibi is mad enough to see me fry in the electric chair. She liked me better than I liked her, and I had to tell her I didn’t want to see her again. I hurt her, Josie. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t love her as intensely as she loved me.”

“I’ve been through that, Ted. I understand all too well. Maybe if you gave me her name, I could talk to her.”

“No!” Ted said. “You’d make it worse.”

“I know I’m not tactful,” Josie began.

“That’s not what I meant. You’d make it worse because you’re so much nicer and better looking than she is. And cute. One look at you, and she’d want to ruin me for sure. I can’t give you her name, Josie. It would rub salt into her wound if she saw you.”

Josie was touched. “That’s sweet, Ted. If the police think you’re guilty, then we have to come up with someone else who might have a coral snake. Do you know any exotic snake collectors?”

“Drug dealers prefer exotic pets, Josie. I don’t know any of those people, and they don’t usually get much veterinary care for their animals. We have one man who has a boa constrictor he calls Main Squeeze, but he’s just a regular guy who likes snakes.”

“Would he know any snake collectors? Do they stick together?”

“He’s a harmless pothead, Josie, but he’s not a dealer. He collects comic books and
Star Wars
memorabilia and sells them on the Internet. I don’t think he could help you.”

“We have to find someone who could have a coral snake here in Missouri,” Josie said. “The police aren’t going to look. I’ll try an Internet search tonight.”

“Anything you can do, Josie, I’d appreciate. I’m going to get out of here. I know I am. Then I’ll make it up to you.”

They were back to the movie clichés again.

“I hope so, Ted,” she said. “I really do. I have to go.”

The wind was cold reality. She fought it as she walked to her car. Josie knew Ted was innocent. She also knew she was a lousy judge of men. So far, she’d dated two drug dealers and a man with a homicidal ex.

She’d liked Ted from the moment she met him. He was kind, helpful, charming.

So was another Ted—Ted Bundy
, whispered a small voice. He was a helpful, charming serial killer who murdered thirty women.

But her Ted loved animals.

So did Hitler
, said the same treacherous voice.

But Ted is innocent, she practically screamed.

That’s what all the wives and lovers of guilty men say.
Now the voice seemed to be laughing.

The only way to silence it was to prove Ted didn’t kill Jonah Deerford. Josie knew Ted had been framed. Framed? That phrase sounded so corny. Still, she knew innocent men were railroaded for murder. If Josie didn’t help Ted, who would? The police were convinced he was guilty.

“I have to find out more about the real killer—coral snakes,” Josie said out loud.

Oops. Now she was talking to herself. The jail visit must have upset her more than she thought. That was her third meeting with Ted. Their first encounter was a cat enema. The second was an unfinished dinner while the police searched his business during a murder investigation. The third time, Josie and Ted had met in the county lockup, with a Plexiglas chaperone.

BOOK: The Fashion Hound Murders
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