The Far Bank of the Rubicon (The Pax Imperium Wars: Volume 1) (42 page)

Gingerly, Sophia reached out and took his hand. Almost as a reflex, he gripped hers in return.

Her simple act of touch grounded him again. The voices around him became speech. The intrusion of reality made his failures all the more apparent, but Sophia’s act of generosity made it somehow tolerable. Despite his failure, she was still there with him.

Jonas stood, and gently letting go of Sophia’s hand, he turned to face her. He spoke quietly but firmly. “We’ll talk soon.”

She didn’t speak but just nodded.

Jonas walked through the transport and began to look after his troops.

It was the things that no one bothered to tell him that sometimes irritated Jonas the most about being a Prince. For instance, no one mentioned that he was still holding a pistol in his hand on the flight back to the fleet. He didn’t notice until he had exited the shuttle on the fast boat. He tried to holster the weapon and realized his holster was in his bag, which may or may not have made it on the shuttle. He had no idea.

Forcing himself to relax, he handed the sidearm to a deck officer, saying he would return for it. Then he demanded a private room. The deck officer was about to say something smart until Jonas watched the brief dawn of recognition cross his face. Jonas’ hardened expression and bloodied clothes probably didn’t hurt, either. Instead of arguing, the officer saluted crisply and got on his heads-up to find someplace suitable nearby.

While the officer hunted, Jonas addressed Sophia. He said gruffly, “Follow me, please?”

It came across as much more of an order than he would have liked. He didn’t want to reveal their relationship in front of the soldiers standing there, though after the things that had been said earlier in the day, there would be no hiding it from the fleet. It needed to come out soon, just not at that moment. And, of course, ‘command mode’ didn’t just shut off.

Internally he cringed, worried that he might anger her. For a moment, he thought she might say ‘no.’ Thankfully, she didn’t, and soon they were by themselves in a small office, just off the hangar.

Jonas tapped on the plexiglass, darkening the window with his touch, and leaned against the desk behind him. Staring at his feet, Jonas pictured his courage draining out his toes, lying in a puddle on the floor. It didn’t help that Sophia stood only a few feet away, arms crossed. She looked none too happy with him. The words which had seemed so sure on the shuttle melted under her gaze. Jonas struggled to get at least a few out before they all vanished into the ether. “I’m sorry. I should have told you. I did what I did to protect you. I wanted you to be safe.”

“No, you didn’t.”

Jonas looked up.

Sophia scowled, her lips pressed tight in a frown. She was looking him in the eye.

“No, I did. I wanted you to be safe while I went on the run. I wanted you not to get hurt.”

“I believe you, Jonas. You did exactly what you say for exactly those reasons, but you didn’t do it for me. You did it to protect you.”

What she was saying didn’t make sense. Jonas felt his irritation growing. He was trying to apologize, and she wasn’t listening. “How am I protecting myself when you are the one who I was trying to keep safe?”

Sophia dropped her voice. “Because you did what you did to make sure you didn’t get hurt, which is why you didn’t ask me my opinion or take my wishes into consideration before you made a decision for both of us.”

Jonas opened his mouth to object, then shut it. He opened it a second time and then realized she was right. He shut his mouth again. He couldn’t argue. He felt terrible about what had happened today to all of them but Sophia most of all. “You’re right. I was selfish. I should have talked to you.”

Sophia still didn’t soften. Her voice remained deadly cold. “Yes, you should have. You don’t get to make those decisions for me. I’m not a bird you can keep in a cage. You of all people should understand that.”

Her words cut close to the bone. Jonas visibly flinched, recognizing that his choices had treated Sophia as if she had no say, just like the House of Athena had treated him since birth.

His emotional control ran downward, following his courage onto the floor. His throat got tight. He blinked back tears. It felt like everything he had done recently had come out wrong. He changed the topic. “I miss Dmitri,” he said. He didn’t want to cry, so he fought back against the incoming tide. He breathed noisily.

Sophia stepped across the room and put her arms around him, bloodied shirt and all. “None of this is your fault. You didn’t pull the trigger. You didn’t lead the attack. Other people did that. My father did that.”

“I know, but it feels like there is so much riding on every decision. I’m terrified. I’m terrified of losing you. I’m terrified of doing something that wrecks everything. I feel like the weight of my world…the weight of the galaxy is on my shoulders.”

With her arms still wrapped around him, Sophia pulled back and looked up at him. “You might.”

“Might what?”

“Do something which wrecks things.”

“I can’t. I can’t let everyone down.”

“You can fail.”

Jonas felt determined for Sophia to understand him. “No, Sophie. I can’t fail. Everything hinges on me.”

“No, it doesn’t, Jonas Athena. You can’t succeed unless you can fail, Jonas. If you can’t fail, you can’t risk. If you can’t risk, you won’t do anything. In order to win, failure has to be an option.”

Jonas didn’t answer immediately.

Sophia put her head back on his shoulder. “And I’ll be there with you, either way. We’re family, you and me. You’re the only family I have.”

As if the very first ray of a star rose over the limb of his soul, Jonas knew what he wanted and what he would do next. Holding Sophia against him, he said, “I think I finally understand.” Then, stepping back from her, Jonas Athena got down on one knee. As Sophia broke down in tears, he looked up at her. “We’re already family, Sophie. It’s time we let the galaxy know.”

Two days later, Jonas sat in the small study located in Officer’s Row on the Ares. He was looking over a whole set of reports from Brennen on possible mission objectives. The information had started to blend together. Assessment of the risks and dangers of each mission seemed to paralyze him. No matter what he did—attacking supply outposts, military convoys, or even isolated systems—there were huge downsides and not much real upside. Somehow, he was supposed to spark a rebellion, and he had no idea if such a thing were possible. He was coming to doubt it. Anything militarily significant would be too risky. Anything smaller wouldn’t have the needed effect.

Jonas sighed loudly.

He checked the time. There were still twenty-four hours until they made it to the gate in the Pontus system. If Fleet Intelligence had things right, there would be no resistance at their departure. The death of Duke Malek had thrown Galatia into political chaos. For now, at least, it appeared the gate remained once again loyal to the House of Athena.

All across the fleet, crew members were penning last letters to family and friends, explaining that they did not know when they would be home. The fleet was scheduled to go intraspace dark in a few hours, and any outgoing communications were set to be queued shortly. Jonas had taken a few minutes to write to his brother and his aunt, telling them how much he desired to do the family name proud. Considering what they now faced, it hurt. He wondered if they would both be executed, like the Empress. He put the thought out of his mind. He couldn’t dwell on things like that.

Jonas tried to read again but, unable to concentrate any longer, he threw down his data pad with a clatter on the desk and rubbed his eyes. He had never been able to focus on reading for a long period of time. It drove him nuts when he was younger, and it had never changed.

In a chair opposite him, Josephine Lutnear looked up from where she had been thinking a letter to her brother Theodore. She flipped up the heads-up device and said, “What’s going on?”

Jonas rolled his eyes. “Nothing I can really talk to you about.”

“Ah, I see.” She looked at Jonas, silent for a minute, just staring at him, waiting for him to continue the conversation.

Eventually, Jonas filled the space, as she knew he would, but he headed in a different direction. “I can’t read like you can. It drives my brain insane to try and absorb information that way. Brennen and her staff give me more to do every hour than I can do in a day. I keep falling farther and farther behind.”

“So what are we going to do next?” Age had not tempered Little Jo’s ability to perceive what was opaque to others.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“How do you know what I’m reading when I haven’t told you?”

Jo shrugged. “I heard Jack saying he was preparing some estimates for Brennen and put two and two together.”

Jonas shook his head. “Like I said, I can’t talk about it. How’s your brother?”

Since Teddy had left to study physics at university almost eighteen months prior, Jonas hadn’t had much contact with him. As was their wont, Rhinegau, where he studied, had stayed studiously neutral during the Pax war. Their neutrality offered some protection. He was also there under an assumed name, but none of these things would matter if Timothy Randall wanted to find him. What truly protected Teddy was the hope and wish that he wasn’t important enough for Randall or the Unity to bother. Although, with the war coming to an end, it was hard to see how Rhinegau could remain neutral. There really weren’t two other sides on the board. It was the Unity versus Rhinegau and a few other supposedly non-combatant countries. Jonas wondered how long before the Unity would turn its attention to starve them into submission.

Jo answered Jonas’ question. “He’s fine.”

For a moment, things were silent. He had just picked up the data pad again when Jo interrupted. “I think we should play Robin Hood.”

Jonas looked up, more than a little irritated. “Who?” He caught himself. “I said I couldn’t talk about this.”

Jo rolled her eyes and ignored his comment. She chose instead to respond to his question. “You know. Ancient literature. Robin Hood. He robs the rich and distributes it to the poor. Last night over dinner, I told Jack that we should play Robin Hood. We’re perfectly set up for it. We have a nimble force which can enter systems quickly, strike fast, and then get away. It’s a perfect setup for a Robin Hood-style operation. It’s either that or guerrilla warfare, and that is a much harder job. Besides, if we become guerrillas, we just break stuff, and then we become part of the problem. But, if we take stuff, and then redistribute it to the people, we become their heroes.”

Jonas tried not to sound dismissive. “Jo, how would we do that? How would we distribute what we steal to the poor?”

The fourteen-year-old shrugged her shoulders. Her voice carried a tinge of hurt. “You can think I’m stupid all you want, but wherever the Unity goes, a black market follows. Despite what they say, they’re terrible at taking care of people. People have to look out for themselves, but they can’t do that openly, or they will get in trouble, so they create a black market.”

Jo flipped down her heads-up screen and said nonchalantly, “You should ask Jack about that. Supposedly he was the best in the Unity at running a black market. It’s why Randall recruited him in the first place. Every now and then, even a political climber needs things they can’t officially own.”

Little Jo went back to thinking her letter.

Jonas just stared at her. He didn’t know whether to scream, laugh, or cry. Eventually, he stood up. “Thanks,” he said. Then he added under his breath, “If you ever want to talk about secret stuff again, just let me know. I’ll personally get you a security clearance.”

Jo didn’t look up from her work, but she nodded to let Jonas know that she had heard him.

She would remember. He was sure of it.

Jonas stood next to Admiral Brennen, looking out on the black of deep space. Behind them lay a barely-used gate in an uninhabited system. From everything they could see, their escape from Pontus had worked. The sending gate recorded a different destination than it chose, including the proper energy readings. The receiving gate recorded no activity. Now six hours later, with no immediate pursuit, the stand-down order had been given throughout the fleet. The command deck of the Ares had just repressurized. Jonas reached up and turned off his HeFar. The polymer bubble disappeared, evaporating with a small poof.

For a moment, both he and Admiral Brennen stood there, looking at the overwhelmingly brilliant, round cluster of stars on the front view screen. Brennen spoke first. “Congratulations, sir. I believe we’ve done it.”

“Done what? We’ve stuck our foot deep in it, is what we’ve done, Admiral. Now the difficult part begins.”

“Yes, sir. That’s true, sir, but just two months ago, the Allies hadn’t even had a major victory in this war. You’re standing on the deck of the best fleet in the galaxy and leading the best crew. Whatever you ask us to do, sir, we’ll do it.”

As they continued to look forward, Jonas unzipped a pocket on his pressure suit and took out a data chip. He held it up for Brennen.

A curious grin broke out at the corner of her mouth. “What’s this?”

“A little reading for you. It’s a copy of an ancient myth called Robin Hood.”

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