The Fall (28 page)

“You can’t act like that,” I warned.

“I know,” he said, his renewed erection brushing against my leg. He trailed my face and neck with feverish kisses, leading back to my mouth, taking his time to gently coax it open. I sighed into him as he took my breath completely. When he pulled away, I saw his features soften. “I want all of you, Dallas. Every single piece. Even the ones I broke.” He pulled me to his chest, cradling my legs as he lifted me off of his carpet. He carried me upstairs and drew us a bath. I stood watching him as he made the bath comfortable, stepping in and motioning for me to join him. I sat cradled in his arms for several minutes.

“Dally, talk to me.” Brushing the hair away from my neck, he planted a soft kiss on my shoulder.

“Remember when you told me you were going to be a doctor?”

“Yes,” he said, cupping water over my back.

“Do you remember what you said?”

“No, not really. I just remember we were in your parents’ back yard.”

“You said you wanted to be useful to people in a way where you could sleep at night.”

“I said that? Wow, pretty deep for eighteen.”

“My mother pointed that out at dinner that night. She told my father I was safe with you.”

Dean held me tighter to him. “That’s flattering.”

“She’d overheard our conversation when I told you I planned on the same profession. I’d wanted to be a doctor since I was a little girl. Did I ever tell you the story why?”

“I think I just assumed it was your crush on me.” I could feel his grin behind me.

“No.” I turned on him, kneeling in his large sunken tub between his legs. His hair was damp and curled slightly, framing his face. I had to take a few deep breaths in order to get my story out. The sight of him naked and wet in front of me was debilitating. He remained silent, urging me to go on.

“When Rose was six, we were climbing an old fence in the neighborhood. We knew better but we were told these particular neighbors had a rabid dog that was about to be put down. I was curious and wanted to see what it looked like. Anyway, once we made it up to peer over we saw the yard was empty. Rose’s board came loose and she fell at an awkward angle onto some loose boards that had already given out behind us, snapping her arm and not only that, she impaled her forearm on an old rusty nail.

“She didn’t cry. She didn’t make a damn sound. She just looked at her arm as if it was alien to her. I rushed her home and my parents flipped. Rose stayed calm the whole time. I sat with her while the doctor set and stitched her arm. She only winced once. The rest of the time she simply looked at the doctor in awe, as if she knew she would be fine. I think she knew then she wanted to be a doctor. I saw the way Rose looked at her as she was stitched up and I suddenly wanted to
be
her. I wanted to be Rose’s hero. I guess a part of it was jealousy and a part was curiosity, but she fixed my sister so easily. I wanted that ability to do the same thing. Just to be able to make things right when it seemed impossible.

“That day on the way home, my sister and I both proclaimed to our parents we would one day be doctors. My parents encouraged us and took us to every single human science fair in the state of Texas, fueling our growing interest at every turn. I never had another thought about what I would be after that day. It always seemed predetermined, for
both
of us. It was a common bond we shared since we were young. It kept us close in years when we should have been at odds. We would spend night after night talking about the different ways we would help people. Of course, we did not have a clue what the hell we were talking about. We were just two little girls rambling on about a future we were so certain of.” I looked up at Dean, who was listening intently. “Saying and doing this is the thing I’m most proud of. And I almost didn’t make it.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked, his eyes roving my face for answers.

“I’ll promise to try with you, if you promise this won’t get in the way of my career. I’ve finally found my home and I don’t want to screw it up.”

“Work first, is that what you are telling me?” He was amused and I straightened my shoulders. It was hard to project just how serious I was sitting naked in front of him, but he seemed to catch on quickly.

“Dean, I’ve worked really hard to be where I am.”

“And you think I want to take that away?”

“I think you don’t know how hard it was for me.”

“And Josh did?” I heard the bite in his voice.

“No, we fought a lot about my career and the time I spent working and away from him. I could never talk about it with him because of his resentment and that’s one of the reasons we are no longer together. I love this thing...this thing I do, more than anything.”

“Dallas,” he said carefully, pulling me to him by my underarms and onto his lap. “You’re not the only doctor in the tub.”

“I realize that. I just want to put that out there.”

“Okay, Dr. Whitaker, I won’t whine about the long hours you spend at work.”

“Thank you,” I said quickly, pulling my legs from around him and pulling the plug to drain and let more hot water in. Once the tub was reheated, I took my place back against him as we settled back in.

“Dally,” he asked quietly, “what are you not telling me?”

“I’ve told you everything important.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t know that story through all the years I’ve known you.” He moved my hair to the side and placed a gentle kiss on my neck.

“You missed a lot of years.”

He pulled me tighter to him. “And I’ll start making it up to you right now.”

“I don’t want to survive anything. I want him. I want to be with him, always.”- Laura (Room 212)

“Dally, wake up!”

I heard my name in the distance and managed to get out of the way of the first cloud. It had come dangerously close to me. I ran faster, harder, trying to avoid the second angry vortex and fell to my knees as the wind knocked me over
.

“Dallas!” I opened my eyes and looked up to see concern etched on Dean’s face as he hovered over me. I muffled a sob in his chest as he held me close to him. He rolled over, pulling me to him as I cried harder than I had in years. It was the first time the tornadoes had actually gotten to me. I couldn’t control my shaking as he held me tightly, murmuring words of comfort as I let go. When the last of my tears were drying, he tilted my head up, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“Just a dream,” I answered him before he had a chance to ask.

“A nightmare, maybe. Do you have those often?” He pushed my hair away from my face and then cupped my chin.

“For a while now. It’s not every night.”

“When is the last time you had one?”

“I don’t remember,” I lied, holding him tighter to me. His frown told me he didn’t believe me, but he left it alone. I pulled myself to straddle him and saw his eyes heat.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” I pushed out shakily as he looked up at me, eyes trailing down from my face to my bare breasts and back up again.

“I wish I could keep them away,” he said softly.

I felt him grow hard beneath me and lifted myself, the tip of him at my entrance.

“I need you to chase them away, Dean.” I watched his eyes light fire as I slid down on top of him. My body adjusted to his size as he let out a low, guttural moan. He watched me as I lifted up slowly and fell back down with all my weight, making us both cry out. He cupped my breasts as his eyes remained glued to mine, his mouth parted, his eyes hooded as he bit his lip. I found it sexy as hell and began to move, taking all of him deep inside of me. He brushed his thumb over his tongue and circled my sex and I came quickly after. Still connected to me, he moved me beneath him, lacing our fingers as he thrust slowly inside me, stroking me deep, but never breaking our locked eyes.

He came minutes later with my name on his lips like a prayer, his heart pounding in his chest. He never lost his grip on me as he adjusted our bodies so he was spooning me and our legs became entangled.

“Way to go, Martin.”

We both chuckled before drifting back into a deep sleep.

“I’ve got to say, Ms. Dallas, you are looking better every day. Wouldn’t have anything to do with an extremely tall, dark and handsome doctor, would it?” Beatrice looked at me expectantly as I buried my face in my hands and with it my deep smile.

“Oh, honey, please give me something, I’ve been striking out at every turn. Humor a sick old lady.”

“Never been the type to kiss and tell,” I muffled into my hands, peeking over my fingers.

“Fine, at least tell me if it’s him,” she said on a whisper as a small group of nurses walked by.

“Of course it is,” I confirmed, grabbing my tablet and opening my appointment schedule.

“Uh huh.” She picked up the phone answering and held her finger up to me to keep me where I was. “I will let him know.” She put the phone back down.

“I’m happy for you, honey. Just remember he has a penis.”

“And?”

“Oh honey, you really need me to spell this out for you?”

I nodded before I said the words, dying for this explanation. “I think I do.”

“If he has a penis—”

I felt my phone vibrate and looked down at the text.

DEAN: I am really sick of you using me for my body. I think you should at least treat me to dinner once in a while.

I laughed out and Beatrice grumbled under her breath about being too far gone to listen to good advice. It had been two weeks since he’d brought me back to his house and I’d barely left. I had finally agreed to bring over a few changes of clothes and had only slept in my own bed once...and alone. The rest of the time, we made it work between our mad schedules. I was working endless hours in oncology, and when I wasn’t working with cases of my own I was studying old cases similar to the ones I was diagnosing. I was making progress and Dean had kept his promise to me by taking only the time I had to spare. He listened to my recap each day with interest, telling me about his own. I could only hope it remained another one of the reasons for the extra spring in my step. The deep gash in my chest seemed to be healing as the days passed. I knew eventually I would have questions I wanted answers to, but for now, I was happy with simply filling in the blanks.

The other half of my heart had returned it seemed, blazing a trail into the center of my universe, not suffocating any part of me, as I feared. Dean only made my world brighter and better with each step we took together, and toward each other.

Today I had lunch to look forward to. Cammie, my old college roommate—who also roomed with me my first two years of medical school—was coming to see me for the first time since she moved to Oklahoma. She had signed on with her father’s practice in Oklahoma City and we hadn’t been able to see each other much since our trip after graduation. I greeted her with a hug in the cafeteria. We had agreed to have lunch in the hospital. I wanted to talk to her before I reintroduced her to Dean. She sat with her salad, eyeing the people around us. We made small talk and she told me about her life in Oklahoma and how she was seriously thinking of joining me at Dallas Memorial. We discussed the possibility of her joining my practice in the next few years.

“So...any hotties here?”

“A few,” I answered vaguely.

“Oh shit, someone new? Since Josh?”

“Kind of,” I said on a smile. “I want you to be happy for me, okay? So promise me you will hear me out.”

“He comes with a warning? This can’t be good.” Cammie had always been a bit leery of the opposite sex. She had no problem entertaining them, but had absolutely zero tolerance for bullshit, which made her list of exes a long list. I had always admired her for it, and at the same time, it made me dread this conversation all the more. I opened my mouth to speak when I was cut off.

“Hello, ladies. Wow, is that you Cammie?” I stiffened upon hearing Dean’s voice. Cammie’s smile faded instantly as she looked up and she saw Dean giving her a shit-eating grin. I braced myself.

“What in
the
fuck
is he doing here?” She gave me an expectant look and I shook my head. Cammie brushed her box-colored auburn hair out of her eyes and glared at Dean.

“Dean, give us a minute?” I looked up to see a stunned look on his face. He wasn’t use to this kind of reception. I hadn’t expected them to run into each other at all. Dean had told me he was on his way to an appointment when we spoke just before I met up with her.

“Is this who you are seeing?” She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms, her face reddening with anger. I started to panic as words failed me. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was going to talk to her at lunch to test the waters, and then possibly invite her for drinks later. I could see now it was a grave error in judgment. Waves of anger rolled off of her as she looked between Dean and I for a long minute. I saw her resolve take shape as she turned her attention to me.

“Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you not remember! Or should I remind you?”

I looked up at Dean, who was shifting his attention to me with a question in his eyes.

“Dean, I’ll see you later, okay? Just let me talk to Cammie.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not following what is going on here,” he said apologetically to Cammie, taking a seat next to us.

“Of course you aren’t,” she said dryly. “Please, Dallas, please tell me you aren’t really doing this.”

“Cammie,” I begged softly and looked back to Dean who refused to leave. “Dean, please go.”

“Do you want to tell him or should I?” I whipped my attention to Cammie and saw the inevitable confrontation on her face. She had no intention of backing down.

“Cammie, let it go,” I warned, my voice deadly. I felt the fire spread in my chest as my limbs trembled from her threat.

“No fucking way,” she seethed. “No way, Dallas. You can’t keep pretendin—”

“Let it go!” I yelled, grabbing the attention of everyone in the cafeteria. “Please,” I begged softly.

“No,” she said quietly, glaring at Dean. “He needs to know.” I watched as she turned to Dean with as much hate rolling off her as I’d ever seen from her 5’3” frame. “She miscarried your baby four months after you left for Columbia.”

Dean shot back in his seat, disbelief covering his features.

Cammie continued, not at all fazed by my threatening posture or Dean’s reaction. “The morning after her college graduation, I found her curled up on your beloved fraternity steps. She was damn near hypothermic from freezing to death, waiting for you! She still believed you would come! Oh and then there’s the Adderall freak out. Did you tell him about that?”

“Jesus Christ, Dallas!” Dean boomed. I stood quickly in an attempt to flee the scene unfolding.

“How could you do this to me?” I said hoarsely, tears streaming down my face as I glared at my friend. She had every right to hate him. Cammie exclusively had every right to not want him around me. She was all I had when he left, the only one I had let in. She had dealt with the complete mess I became when Dean left. She suffered with me the loss of the baby, the death of me when I’d returned from New York, and everything else leading up to the last straw three years later, the night I graduated college.

She kept her voice down, though the damage was done. “You wouldn’t let me call your parents or your sister. You wouldn’t even let me call him and this is the asshole responsible!”

“For what I did to myself?” I said, trying to reason with her. Dean was staring at me, but I avoided it. I couldn’t let him see me like this. I felt the anger take over in that moment. I welcomed it.

“Thanks for the visit, Cammie. Don’t be a stranger.” I didn’t bother looking at Dean as he stood up next to me and I walked quickly away from the table.

“Don’t you dare,” Dean hissed behind me. “Dallas!”

“She won’t talk to you about it,” Cammie piped sarcastically behind me, “She won’t talk to anyone. If I hadn’t been there, I would have never known. Don’t think for one minute you weren’t responsible. I watched her go from a happy, confident, and beautiful twenty-year-old to a complete fucking—”

I couldn’t hear anymore. I knew what I had done. I knew what lengths I had taken the loss of both Dean and our baby to extremes. I wasn’t exaggerating when I told my mother I’d lost it. I’d lost our baby, followed quickly by losing Dean, and then I’d lost my mind.

And before he waltzed into my life, I had just gotten it back. My fear was not unfounded. Dean had completely consumed me again, and I’d let him. I made it as far as the small hallway leading out into the courtyard when he caught up with me.

“Stop!” It wasn’t a request. It was an order. I felt the hallway narrow and put my hand up to steady myself. I never wanted him to know. Never. I’d kept it from everyone, even Rose. I turned to face him. He was beyond angry.

“What the hell were you think—”

“No, you fucking stop,” I warned. “Don’t, if we have a hope of a future together you will let this go and never ask me about it again.”

“Don’t you dare threaten me with that!”