The Faceless Ones (Skulduggery Pleasant - Book 3) (17 page)

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"Uh, not that I know of ..."

"That would have been handy. I wasted so much of my life digging holes with a shovel. I probably wasted so much of my life doing other things as well. Life would have been easier with magic. What's it like?"

For a moment Valkyrie was going to downplay everything, but the look in his eyes made her tell the truth. "It's amazing," she admitted.

"How do you know I can even do this?" she heard Fletcher ask.

"You can do this because it's something you can do," Skulduggery said. "You'll start to feel a tingling sensation when you're at a spot where the walls of reality are thinnest."

"Tingling?"

"Or tickling. Or burning."

"Burning?"

"Or you might get a toothache or a nosebleed or you might have a seizure--it's hard to say."

"I might have a seizure?"

"Don't worry, I'll stop you from swallowing your tongue."

Fletcher scowled.

"Can I ask you something?" Paddy said quietly.

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"When you meet the people you used to know, like other kids your age, what do you feel? Do you despise them?"

"Why would I despise them?"

"Someone who can run fast dismisses the people slower than he is. What if it's someone who can run
really
fast? Then the slower people become little more than an annoyance, and then an irritation. Superiority breeds contempt."

"I don't agree with that at all," Valkyrie said, shaking her head. "I can do some things other people can't, but those other people can do things I can't. It evens itself out."

Paddy smiled. "But those other people might be better than you at schoolwork, or tennis, or fixing bicycles... whereas you have magic. I wouldn't call that a level playing field."

"Well, okay, I'd agree with that, but it still doesn't mean that mortals have to be despised."

"Mortals? That's what you call us?"

Valkyrie blushed. "It's not, like, an official term or anything. I mean, it is accurate because you're mortal, but so are we, so ..."

He couldn't help but smile. "I think my point has been proven."

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"What? No, it hasn't."

"What do magic people call themselves? Magicians?"

"Sorcerers," she said. "Or mages."

"So magic people view themselves as mages and everyone else as mortals. And that doesn't sound like a group of people elevating themselves to god-hood to you?"

"Sorcerers don't believe that they're gods."

"Why shouldn't they? They have the power of gods, don't they? They have magic at their fingertips. Their affairs affect the world. If you fail in your current 'mission,' what will happen? "

She hesitated. "The world will end."

Paddy laughed. "Wonderful! Beautiful! Do you see it? The importance of your work! A mortal fails at his job, and what happens to him? He doesn't get his Christmas bonus? He gets demoted? Fired? And life continues around him. But if a mage fails, if you and your friends fail, everybody dies. Why shouldn't you think of yourselves as gods? You hold the fate of the world in your hands. If that's not godlike, I don't know what is."

"Can we change the subject?"

"To what?"

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"Anything that doesn't make me sound like a crazy person? "

He laughed, and they walked closer to Skulduggery as Fletcher announced that he was feeling something. They had crossed the yard and were standing in the long grass. Fletcher's eyes were open and his fingers were splayed. His steps grew smaller as he homed in on the spot.

"It's a buzzing," he said, "in my fingers, like I get when I teleport. Okay, now I can feel it all over." He turned slightly. "It's there. I know it is. Right there."

To Valkyrie, he was staring at empty space, but his voice was strong and his eyes were sure.

"What's so special about here?" Paddy asked. "It's just the same as anywhere else."

"You can't see it," Fletcher said scornfully, "but I can
feel
it. It's amazing. I can open it right now."

"No, you can't," Skulduggery said. "But well done for finding it."

"No, I can do more than that," Fletcher insisted. "I can go through."

"You can't, and I wouldn't advise trying," Skulduggery said, and he'd barely uttered the last word when Fletcher disappeared.

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Paddy jumped back. "Good God!"

Valkyrie spun to Skulduggery. "Could he have done it? Could he have gone through?"

"I ... I don't know," Skulduggery said.

Valkyrie's hand flew to her mouth. "If he did go through, he's in there with the Faceless Ones. They'll tear him apart."

Skulduggery shook his head. "He didn't have the Isthmus Anchor. Without that, there's no way to open the gate, let alone go through. No, it's impossible."

"So where is he?" Paddy asked.

Valkyrie's phone rang, and she put it to her ear.

"Hey, Val," Tanith said on the other end, "did you happen to lose something? Not too bright, vacant expression on his face, silly hair? Ring any bells?"

Valkyrie sighed in relief. "Skulduggery, he's back at the van."

"I'm going," Skulduggery said as he strode quickly past her, "to kill him."

They got back to Dublin, and Fletcher still hadn't said one word. Skulduggery had spent close to five

207

minutes berating him for what he had tried to do, and by the end of it, even Fletcher's hair had wilted into a sullen pile. It had been the most fun Valkyrie had had in ages.

Ghastly needed to return to Kenspeckle for a checkup, and Tanith agreed to go with him. Now that the two of them were back in the game, Skulduggery was feeling better about keeping Fletcher at the labs. When he said this, Fletcher narrowed his eyes and spoke up for the first time in half an hour.

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He got in behind the wheel, and she climbed into the passenger side and buckled her seat belt. "Skulduggery, you
broke
the Scepter."

"No, I broke the black crystal that
powered
it. In theory, all we need is another black crystal and we have a weapon capable of killing a god."

"Do you
know
where to get another black crystal? "

He started the car and they moved off. "Not exactly."

"Do other black crystals exist?"

"Almost certainly."

"How do we find one?"

"Research, my dear Valkyrie."

Her shoulders slumped. "I hate research. It's almost as bad as homework."

"When was the last time
you
did homework? "

"I
always
do my homework."

"Your reflection does your homework."

"But I still have to suffer through the
memory
of it. That's practically the same thing."

"I hear millions of schoolchildren around the world crying in sympathy for you."

"Oh, shut up."

"But don't worry, your research will be fun."

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"How do you work that one out?"

"Your uncle was planning to write a book about the Scepter before he died. Knowing Gordon, that means he made quite a lot of notes."

Valkyrie's mood lifted. "So all I have to do is read through his notes?"

"You read his notes, I'll do some research of my own in the library, and we'll see who comes up with an answer first. Agreed?"

Valkyrie kept her grin to herself. "Oh, all right," she said, trying to sound irritable. Her uncle had been dead for two years, and he'd had a treasure trove of secrets locked away behind his study in his old house--the house he had left her in his will. Valkyrie loved going through the secret room, and she welcomed any opportunity to do so.

Besides, she hadn't talked to her dead uncle in
weeks.

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Twenty-one

***

O
pportunity Rings

The Sea Hag
heard someone ringing her bell and rose to the surface of the lake. She poked her head out, making sure it wasn't the skeleton and the girl, back to inflict more pain.

She emerged from the lake and looked down at a man standing by the shore. "Who disturbs me?" she demanded.

"I do," the man said.

"What is your name? "

"I am Batu."

"That is not your name."

"It is the name I have chosen, and so it is my name."

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The Sea Hag sighed. "Why do you disturb me? "

The man, Batu, looked at her. "You have been wronged, my lady. Fifty years ago I gave you a corpse, allowed it to slip beneath your waters; and now it has been stolen from you."

The Sea Hag snarled. "I am aware of what happened. What concern is it of yours?"

"I can offer you an opportunity," the man who called himself Batu said, "an opportunity to repay the ones who have wronged you."

"How?"

"It would mean moving you from this lake to the sea, my lady. Would you be interested in such an opportunity? "

The Sea Hag stared at him. "You would move me back to the sea? You could do that?"

"The world has changed since you were first trapped here. There are water tanks big enough to hold you and vehicles powerful enough to transport you. I ask again, my lady: Would you be interested?"

"Yes," said the Sea Hag, smiling for the first time in a hundred years. "Oh, yes."

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Twenty-two

***

C
onversations with a Late Uncle

The Purple Menace pulled into Gordon's estate, and Valkyrie took the door key from her pocket and slid it into the lock. The alarm beeped insistently until she entered the code.

Gordon's house--for it would always be
his
house and never hers, not even on the day she turned eighteen--was big and quiet and empty.

"I'll start in here," Skulduggery said, walking in behind her and heading for the living room. "If you want to start in the study, hopefully we'll find something by morning."

"Hopefully," Valkyrie said, and climbed the stairs.

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She went into the study, closed the door behind her, then made straight for the large bookcase along the wall. She pulled back the false book, the bookcase swung open, and she passed through into the small room beyond. For once, she didn't even glance at the objects and artifacts on the shelves around her. The Echo Stone in the cradle on the table started to glow, and a slightly overweight man in shirtsleeves shimmered into view. He grinned.

"Hello there," he said. "I take it, by the serious look on your face, that this is business and you haven't just dropped by because you miss your dear dead uncle?"

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. "Is that who you are now? You're Gordon? Not just a recording of his personality?"

"That's who I am," Gordon said proudly.

"And you're sure about this? You're not going to change your mind halfway through this conversation? "

"I have come to a decision. The flesh-and-blood Gordon may have imprinted me onto this Echo Stone, but I continue to learn, to experience, to evolve. I make my own memories now. I am as real a person as he was, and because we were the same

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person, I am now him, now that he's not. It all comes down to philosophy really. I think, therefore I am, I think."

"That's good to know." Valkyrie nodded. "To be honest with you, I see you as my real uncle too."

"Well, that's that then."

"Does this mean I can tell Skulduggery about you now? "

"Ah," he said. "Not yet. I ... I'm not ready for other people to know what I have been ... reduced to. But it won't be long now before you can share me, I promise."

"Well, good. I don't like keeping this secret."

"I understand and I appreciate it. So tell me, how are your parents?"

"They're good. It's their anniversary tomorrow, and they're heading to Paris in the morning."

"Ah, Paris," Gordon said wistfully. "I've always felt a real affinity for the French, you know. One of my books was set in France, among the cathedrals and along the Champs-Élysées."

She nodded.
"Braineater.
It was one of your best. Gordon, have you ever heard of a man called Batu?"

"I don't think I have, no."