The Expert's Guide to Driving a Man Wild (23 page)

“Insulting me is not the way to win me over,” Brenna announced.

But Elise grinned and wiggled her fingers at him, turning around and disappearing back into the bed and breakfast. After the door swung shut, it was just him and Brenna, alone on the big wooden stairs.

Brenna crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a blatantly unhappy look.

“Just let me talk,” Grant soothed. “I promise I’ll explain everything.”

“This should be good,” she muttered. But she didn’t leave. That was a start.

“You were right to slap me for laughing,” he told her, since he knew that would get her attention. And he was correct because she perked up a little after that. “But,” he continued, “you should have heard my reasoning before you ran off.” When she said nothing, he decided to plow ahead. “It wasn’t that I was laughing at you. It was just that you and me were too perfect together. I guess it reminded me of how things were back when Heather and I first got married. I was so happy with her, and then it felt like everything turned upside down overnight. I suppose I was worried that it would happen again. Once your life goes down the drain once, you get gun-shy and afraid it’ll happen again.”

She still said nothing. But that scowl was gone from her face.

“This entire time, you’ve been telling me that you can’t commit. You won’t commit. That there’s no future for us except for no-strings-attached sex. And I kept wondering why, because I’ve fallen for you so hard that my head is spinning, and unless I missed my guess, I thought you had fallen for me, too.”

“You know what they say about assuming, Grant.” She tried to make her voice light, but there was an unsteady wobble in it. And she glanced away, avoiding eye contact.

“I know,” he told her. “I am assuming. But that was how I felt. And then you woke me up in the middle of the night, crying, and telling me that you had a massive secret. And I thought my heart was going to splinter right in my fucking chest.” He clenched a fist against his breastbone as if to demonstrate. “What could be so awful about someone as wonderful and vibrant as you? What on earth could possibly destroy what we’ve got together? What would make you so miserable that you’d be unable to sleep and make you cry? So I thought it must have been something fatal. Like cancer. Or a terminal disease.”

She looked confused. “Cancer?”

“Cancer,” he agreed. “My mind went right there, assuming the worst possible. How could I know?” He shrugged helplessly. “So when you showed me the video about—” he glanced around to make sure no one was nearby “—about hoarding, I was so relieved that you weren’t dying that I couldn’t help it. I laughed.”

Her face softened a little. “I thought you were laughing at me.” There were leagues of hurt in her voice. Hurt that he’d caused.

He reached for her, and she didn’t pull away.
Thank God.
He stroked her arm. “Brenna, I would never laugh at your past. I was laughing because I was so damn relieved that I could hardly stand it.”

She stared at him. “Cancer,” she repeated.

“Crazy, I know. But I kept thinking, what possible reason could you have for not wanting a permanent relationship?”

“Because there’s no such thing,” Brenna exclaimed. “Not for people like me.”

“I watched all those videos. You’re not like your mother. Not like any of those people.”

“Because I fight it,” she told him, her posture stiffening again, as if she could protect herself. “I fight it every day. Did you know that most children of hoarders grow up to be hoarders? Because they don’t know any better. Because that’s how they’re raised.”

“And yet you live in a way that would make a Spartan envious. I’ve seen your possessions, Brenna. I know you have hardly anything.”

“Because people don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy,” she told him patiently. “Surrounding yourself with pointless garbage is stupid. Even your cabin is filled with all kinds of knickknack crap that makes me uncomfortable. That’s why I’d rather live in the main lodge.”

“With no place where you can possibly acquire a bunch of crap,” he said, suddenly starting to understand how her mind worked.

“Exactly,” she told him with relish.

“And that’s why you borrow everyone else’s stuff,” he guessed. “Because they’ll always want it back.”

She nodded triumphantly. “None of it sticks around.”

“It’s actually a pretty genius system,” he said slowly. “But there’s one major flaw in the plan.”

“I know,” she told him, looking disgruntled. “Oil changes.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, that wasn’t what you were going to say?”

“I was going to say that the flaw was love.” He took her hand in his and raised it to his lips, kissing the backs of her knuckles. “What do you do when you fall in love?”

“Run away,” Brenna said promptly. “Start over.”

He might have gripped her hand a little more tightly just then. Just a little. “What if I don’t want you to run away? What if I want you to stay?”

“Staying never works out,” she said sadly. But she didn’t pull her hand from his. Her gaze was on his mouth, where it hovered just above her knuckles. It was as if she wanted desperately to believe him, but didn’t trust herself. And that was close to breaking his heart all over again.

“How do you know?”

“Because I saw my mother get married and divorced six times. And every time, they swore it would be different. And every time, it wasn’t.” Her face grew soft. “The last time you were married, it devastated you when things went wrong. Why would I do that to you again if I cared for you?”

He tensed. “Did you just admit that you cared for me?”

She put her fists to her forehead and closed her eyes, as if frustrated with him. “Are you listening to me, Grant? It doesn’t matter if I do or not. It won’t go anywhere!”

“Why don’t you let me decide that?” He pulled her hands away from her face and kissed one fist. “As long as we love each other, nothing else matters.”

“Do you know where my mother is now?” she asked him desperately. “She’s institutionalized. The last time I saw her, she begged me to bring back her things. She’s completely lost it.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her, wrapping his arms around her so she couldn’t escape. “I’m sorry that it was so hard for you, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re not your mother.”

Worry and panic flitted across her face. “Do you know that she used to feed me from the garbage when we ran out of money? She thought people were throwing away perfectly fine things, and so when I was too little to know better, we ate from Dumpsters.”

“It must have been hard growing up like that,” Grant told her, and leaned in to kiss her soft, worried mouth. “But I still love you and want to be with you.”

She was stiff in his arms and anxiety was etched into her lovely face. “You’re not listening to me, Grant.”

“I am, actually. I’m listening to everything you say. It’s you who’s not listening to me.” He put a hand to the back of her neck and gently tugged at the knot of her hair until she tilted back to look up at him. “I love you, Brenna. I want to be with you. I don’t care about your past. It helps me to understand who you are, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you.” He leaned in and kissed her again, his lips brushing over hers to silence any protest. “Just like you don’t care about my past.”

Brenna rolled her eyes at him. “Like your past is as weird as mine. You just married someone who was awful to you. That doesn’t have anything to do with you, Grant. It didn’t shape you into a freak.”

“Didn’t it? Did you not notice how I panic when it comes to the thought of you doing something dangerous? Did you not notice how overprotective I can get? And that I can get really overbearing at the thought of you getting hurt?”

“Well, yeah,” she said slowly. One finger reached out and lightly traced his unshaven jaw. “But I thought that was kind of sweet.”

“You say sweet, I say overbearing and crazy.” He shook his head. “What I’m trying to tell you is that the past made us who we are today. I don’t hold your past against you, and you don’t hold my past against me. That’s what makes us good together, Brenna. We’re both freaks.”

A small giggle escaped her throat.

“That’s what makes us work, love. I don’t care that you’re not perfect. I like you wild and unpredictable and just the way you are. That’s the woman I fell in love with.” His mouth curled into a half smile. “I’ll just hide the garbage cans from you.”

She punched him in the arm. “Not funny.” But she was relaxed, her expression amused.

“I’m willing to compromise, though. If you find my cabin uncomfortable, I’ll change it. I want you to be happy there, because I want you there. With me. In my bed. Always.”

Brenna considered this for a moment. Then, in a small voice, she asked, “You’ll toss out all the junk I point out?”

“I’ll give you free reign to toss out anything and everything you don’t like. None of it means a thing to me.” He leaned into her tracing fingers. “But you? You’re everything to me.”

“I’m scared,” she admitted, moving closer to him. “Scared it won’t work out and I’ll have to run again.”

His arms tightened around her at the thought of her running. “I’m not.” At her curious look, he continued. “Thing is, I know that you’re amazing and brilliant and just a bit wild and untamed. I like that. You’re my opposite, and that’s just what I need. Just like I’m what you need. Please stay.” He wanted to add what he was truly thinking—
I couldn’t bear it if you left me
. But he knew that would be unfair to her if she truly wanted to go. The last thing Brenna needed was more guilt.

She was silent for so long that he began to worry. His grip tightened on her, pulling her closer.
Please, please stay with me
, he thought, the words repeating in his mind over and over again like a mantra.

She looked up and gave him a tiny smile. “Just so you know, if you bring home anything I don’t think is necessary, it’s going in the garbage.”

He grinned widely. “Just so you know, if we do this, every time it rains, I probably won’t let you leave the house for fear of you skidding off into a ditch or something equally frightening.”

She patted his shoulder. “We’ll talk about that.”

“Do I need to hide the ATV keys from you on cloudy days?”

“You might need to,” she said, and her voice was her familiar sassy self. She pinched his chin and gave his head a little shake. “You know I’m no good at listening to rules.”

And that was part of what terrified him—and made her so exhilarating to live with. “I guess I’ll just have to keep you busy on those days.”

“Is that so?” She snuggled closer, fitting her body against his.

At the feel of her against him, his cock began to stir. No one but Brenna could drive him that quickly to desire. This wild, untamed girl was his. And he loved that. “Very busy,” he told her in a husky voice. “Maybe I’ll bring home some extra stuff just so you can throw it out. It’ll keep you busy.”

She snorted at the thought. “You’re getting to be quite manipulative.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll reward you nicely.”

“Oh?” Her voice took on a husky note, and that made him have a full-on erection. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” he began, nipping lightly at her lower lip. “All that cleaning is a lot of tiring work. I think I’d have to give you a nice, full-body massage to relax you and make you comfortable.”

“Mmmhmm,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Go on.”

“Then I’d have to lay you down in my bed and make sure you’re totally relaxed. I’m thinking maybe a half hour of oral sex. Just to take the edge off.”

“Why stop at a half hour?” she asked playfully.

“No need. I can keep going as long as my tongue does.”

“You do have a good tongue,” she agreed breathlessly, her gaze moving to his mouth as if imagining things. “God, it makes me wet just thinking about it.”

And the thought of her wet? It made his cock as hard as a rock. “I love it when you talk dirty.”

“You love everything I do,” she purred.

“It’s pretty much true. But I really love the thought of getting my mouth on that wet pussy of yours and licking the hell out of that piercing.”

She sucked in a breath, her fingers digging into the sleeves of his shirt. “You sure do know how to sweet talk a girl, Grant Markham.”

Behind them, someone cleared her throat.

Grant kept Brenna pulled against him to hide his erection, and because he was never letting her go again. He turned to view their observer.

At the top of the stairs stood Elise, the expression on her face amusement mixed with horror. “I was going to ask if everything was okay out here. Now I’m a bit mortified that I did come out, because I think I heard way too much.”

“Your brother was just telling me how he’s going to lick me into next week,” Brenna said, gazing adoringly up at Grant while she toyed with his hair.

“Oh, I heard that.” Elise looked revolted. “I’m going to assume that things are fine between the two of you now?”

Grant looked at Brenna. She was soft in his arms, the look on her face aroused. But that weird tension and unhappiness was gone. And if she hadn’t told him she’d stay yet, that was okay. He knew she wasn’t the type for verbal commitments. He’d just have to coax the words out of her.

And coaxing the words out of her would be a
most
enjoyable task.

“We’re good,” Grant told Elise, not taking his gaze off Brenna. “You can go now.”

“I plan on it,” Elise said. “And I’d like to suggest that you two get a room, but I’m guessing you’re already planning that.”

“Absolutely,” Grant said.

“Bye now,” Brenna said dreamily, not looking at Elise. Her hand slid between them, and she cupped Grant’s erection. “So, are you giving me a ride home? My car’s toast, and your car’s better for blowjobs. Nice big front seat.”

Grant barely heard Elise’s strangled good-bye. Brenna’s hand on his cock was distracting him a bit too much. He didn’t care that they were on the steps of the bed and breakfast. He didn’t care that they were in downtown Bluebonnet for anyone to see. He did, however, care that her car was dead. “What happened to your car?”