The Everlasting Chapel (18 page)

“
We just hit it off right
away, and…being in the sunset years of our lives, we don’t want to
miss a single moment,” my father says.

I glance at Vivian, and her face has gone
beet red. “I knew something was up, but I didn’t think…wow.” I take
a deep breath. Suddenly Vivian’s expression turns deeply worried. I
reach over and take her hand across the table. “I…think it’s
wonderful. It’s just very sudden.” I give her an assuring
smile.

“
Thank you,” she says. “And
if you feel uncomfortable about it, we’ll give you time. There’s no
rush for us to get married. You know how things are these
days.”

No rush? Immediately I get this image of
them doing the dirty. Oh, God, no. They can have their sex life,
but I don’t want to know about it.

I stand up. “I just need to use the
restroom,” I say, feeling the sudden need to distance myself from
the situation.

I walk through the over-crowded restaurant.
But on my way, I’m stopped dead in my tracks. In the corner, at the
exact same spot Michael and I had our first date, I see him sitting
there with Alexa.

Panic grips my heart.

Alexa has tears streaming
down her face, and Michael is wiping them away with a handkerchief.
I
should
give them
privacy, but dammit! What do I do? This is a man who is supposed to
be mine, who has sworn it’s only us, and here he is with his
ex-fiancé of all people while at the same time ignoring my phone
calls!? That the hell is going on? I sneak around the corner and
hide behind the large plant right behind them.

“
I just don’t know how I
became pregnant,” Alexa cries. “What should I do, Michael? I’m
already four months along, and…” She sniffles and lets out a
gasp.

“
Don’t worry,” Michael
says. “We’ll figure it out.”

My stomach feels as if it just flipped
itself inside out. I quickly do the math in my head. No. No. No!
They were engaged when she became pregnant. This can only mean one
thing: Alexa is having Michael’s baby. My heart hammers against my
ribs, and I take a staggered step backward. I bump into a
table.

“
Excuse me,” I say to the
guests sitting there. I turn around, and dart to the restroom,
locking myself inside one of the stalls. So that’s why Michael was
so upset. That’s why he hadn’t called me back. He’s going to be a
father with his ex. Where does that leave me? Does he even want to
be with me then? I’ll just be the tagalong woman, the girlfriend
who broke up the family. God, I don’t want to be that! Shit! What
should I do? He must be trying to decide whether or not he wants to
continue his relationship with me. That’s why he’s not returning my
calls. He doesn’t know what to do!

Warm tears spill out of my eyes as I try and
come to terms with what all this means.

I need to talk to someone about this. I
don’t want to talk to my father and Vivian, and Anne is in the
hospital. She doesn’t need my drama when she has so much to deal
with already.

I fish my phone out of my purse, and call
Spencer. I don’t expect him to answer—he’s probably working—but at
least I can leave him a message for him to call me back.

“
Hello?” he
answers.

“
Oh, hi. I wasn’t sure if I
was going to get you or not. How are you?”

“
I’m well, Scarlett. How
are you?”

I exhale sharply. “Not so well.”

“
What is it?”

“
Michael is…I need someone
to talk to.”

“
Okay,” he says. “Why don’t
you come over? I have the day off. We’ll just hang out. Talk and
watch a movie or something.”

“
I’m at lunch with my
father right now, but I’ll be there in an hour or so,” I
say.

“
I’ll be here. And
Scarlett?”

“
Yes.”

“
Just breathe,” he says.
“Everything is going to be alright.”

“
Thanks.”

I hang up and throw the phone back into my
purse. I roll up a wad of toilet paper and blow my nose.

This changes everything. Even if he wants to
stay with me, this brings on a whole other set of complications.
Complications we don’t need because everything is already so
complicated. Oh, dear Lord, what do I do? I don’t want to go back
out there and have him see me. I just wouldn’t be able to cope with
it right now, and I’d definitely cause a huge scene because I
wouldn’t be able to control my emotions. Maybe I should tell my
father that I’m not feeling well and that I need to take the food
to go.

Finally, after sitting in the restroom for
an unreasonably long amount of time, I head back into the
restaurant. Thankfully, Michael and Alexa’s table is empty.

“
I sincerely hope we didn’t
cause you any anxiety,” Vivian says with an alarmed look on her
face when she sees me.

“
No…no. It’s not that. I’m
just having an off day, that’s all,” I say, sliding in next to my
father. I give him a warm hug, and look him in the eyes. “I’m
really happy you found someone again. I know Mother wanted that for
you.”

His eyes glaze with tears, and he kisses my
forehead. “My sweet Scarlett, always such an angel. How are things
going for you?”

“
I’m getting back up on my
feet,” I say. “I enjoy working at the Portland Museum of Art, and I
even think I’ll take up painting again.”

“
You should,” Vivian says.
“I’ve seen your paintings around the house, and you are a very
gifted artist.”

“
Well…”

“
Don’t be bashful,” my
father says. “Scarlett, that’s one thing about you. You give
yourself far too little credit.”

The waitress brings us our food, and
luckily, the conversation turns to how we’ll move forward on
repairing the house. During lunch, I see that Michael calls me, but
I don’t want to talk to him here. And although this is something
that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later, I just need to
think about it for a little while.

After I drop Vivian and my father off at
home, I head to Spencer’s. Driving over, I listen to the message
Michael left me.

“
Hi, Scar. It’s Michael.”
He exhales at length. “I miss you. Sorry I missed your call. I…uh…I
need to talk to you about something. I want to be honest with you.
It’s about Alexa. Will you call me as soon as you get this? Love
you.”

He sounds thoroughly dejected. God, I’m
scared. He’s going to break it off with me. That’s what that voice
is: the voice of utter regret.

Here I am again—heartbroken. I clutch the
steering wheel until my fingers turn white and numb. I should never
have…never have…

I quickly pull over to the side of the road
and start to sob uncontrollably. For what feels like an eternity, I
just sit and cry, cursing myself for being so unbelievably stupid.
I knew it wouldn’t be any different this time. I knew it! But I
went ahead anyway. I only have myself to blame. Again. What Michael
and I have is too good to be true. It’s not real. It was never and
can never be real. It’s a fairytale, and fairytales don’t come
true.

After bawling for what seems an eternity, I
grit my teeth, dry my tears, and continue to drive.

When I arrive at Spencer’s place, he offers
me a glass of wine. I immediately break down and start to cry, and
being the good friend he is, he wraps his arms around me and tells
me again and again that everything will be okay. Spencer’s cologne
smells amazing. He looks amazing. He is amazing. I’m glad he’s my
friend. I wish I loved him the way I love Michael. Things would be
so much easier.

Once I manage to calm myself, we head over
to the living room. He has laid out several movies on the coffee
table, ranging from horror, to suspense and action movies. I notice
he’s considerate enough to have left out the romance movies,
although his bookcase is filled with them.

“
Any requests?” he asks,
gesturing to the movies.

“
Can we just talk for a few
minutes?” I ask.

“
Of course. Anything you
want.” He hands me a box of tissues, and I give him a
smile.

I plunk down onto his sleek, black leather
couch and set my drink onto the glass table. He sits next to me.
God this man is sexy as hell. Again, I so wish I felt something for
him. It would be so much simpler than having to deal with what
Michael and I have gone through, and everything we surely will go
through in the next few days, weeks, maybe years to come.

I start by telling Spencer how I saw Michael
with Alexa and how I overheard her tell him she was pregnant, and
how the dates line up with him being the father.

“
It sounds like he’s going
to be a dad, but you never know,” Spencer says.

I give him a look.

“
You don’t. Not until he
has confirmed it.”

“
I don’t need false
optimism,” I say. “I just need it straight.”

“
Only Michael can give it
to you straight,” he says.

True. I inch closer to Spencer and nestle up
next to him, laying my head on his impossibly firm chest. He
reaches an arm around me and strokes my shoulder.

I lift my head, and kiss him softly once on
the lips. Nothing. No spark. No butterflies. Nothing. Dammit.

“
Why couldn’t I have met
you before I met Michael?” I say. “Maybe I would have fallen in
love with you instead.” I interlace my fingers with his.

He smiles. “Scarlett. We have fulfilling
conversations. You are a wickedly beautiful woman. You are smart
and kind and generous. Your body is that of a goddess. Sex is
amazing between us.” He sighs.

“
But there’s something
missing,” I say, resting my head on his chest again.

He nods. “I wish there wasn’t. I think
you’re…fuck, I adore you. But we were only ever meant to be
friends. What you have with Michael is magical. You have to fight
for it.”

I lift my head and look into his green eyes.
“How come you’re so pro-Michael all of a sudden?” I say. “He was
like…such an ass toward you.”

“
Can’t fault a man for
being jealous. I mean, I am pretty good-looking.”

“
Oh, please. You’re so full
of yourself.” I give him a shove.

“
With this body, and my
moves, yeah, he has a right to be jealous.”

“
But what if he…wants to
break up with me?” I ask. “What if…” My voice trails off as my
throat tightens.

“
It’s possible,” Spencer
says. “But have you considered that he might be just as afraid as
you are? Maybe he thinks you will want to break it off with him
because he has impregnated another woman.”

“
What?” That thought never
even occurred to me. “Michael’s not that way. He just makes a
decision and goes with it.”

“
I’d love to keep you here,
but you really should go visit him. You need to talk to him about
this. Not me. I’d love to hang out. We could even keep our friends
with benefits thing going on if you want. God, you gave me an
amazing orgasm.” He throws his head back and laughs. “But I don’t
want to ruin what you have with him. I mean, unless you don’t want
to be with him—then we should be having a different exchange
completely.”

“
No. I do want to be with
him. No matter what. But, fuck. It’s so complicated!”

“
Love is messy. Love is
complicated. You’re going to get hurt. He’s going to get hurt. But
would you rather be in a relationship where you felt nothing? Where
there was no risk at all of your heart breaking?”

“
No,” I agree
reluctantly.

He stokes my hair, and we sit in silence for
some time.

“
I should go see him,” I
finally say.

“
You should.”

I shoot to my feet, and head towards the
door.

“
If he wants to break it
off, come here for a hell of a good time,” Spencer yells after
me.

“
Oh, I definitely
will.”

17

I speed through the streets and in no time
I’m at Michael’s gate. My heart beats so hard in my chest that it
feels as if it will come out. Whatever he decides, I will be okay
with that.

I will be just fine. No, you won’t! My
alter-ego yells.

Yes, I will. I have my father. I have Anne.
I have Vivian. I have a new job, and I am planning on starting to
paint again. Hell, I have three billion dollars in the bank
account! And if I need to drown out the pain with a good fuck, I
have Spencer. I roll my eyes at myself.

I zoom up the long driveway, and end up in
the courtyard. A valet opens my door.

“
Good evening,” he says,
giving me a polite nod.

I smile. “Is Michael here?”

“
Yes, ma’am.”

“
Thank you.”

I head toward the entrance, feeling unsure
of whether I should just walk right in or knock. Suddenly, Michael
flings the door open. His hair is messier than usual, and the color
in his face is a pale gray. He’s wearing a crisp, white shirt that
is folded up to his elbows and open at the neck. A black tie is
tied loosely around his neck.

When his eyes meet mine across the divide,
he looks at me as if he has no other choice but to break my heart,
and his expression is that of a man who is ready to say
good-bye.

My heart is shattering.

Without a word, he walks straight toward me,
and throws his arms around my frame, clinging to me as if his life
depends on it. We stand in silence for several minutes, which only
confirms to me that he is ending it. But I want to just stay here
for a little while, at least pretending to be ignorant of what’s
about to transpire.