The Endearment (17 page)

"So am I," Karl answered, turning to look over his shoulder at her from where he hunkered to his fire-making again.

As she slipped behind the drape, Karl found himself intrigued by the sight of her bare
     
199 feet peeping below it and lost track of what he was supposed to be doing. He watched her nightgown fall in a heap around her ankles. The blanket billowed here and there. Anna's feet turned around toward the trunk, which was also behind the blanket now. Then she seemed to balance on a single foot.

"Ow!" Anna heard from the direction of the fireplace.

"Karl? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Then why did you say `ow`?"

"I think there will be a little skin burning with the kindling, that's all."

Anna's hands fell still. Karl made a mismove with his axe? she thought wonderingly. Karl? Then, looking down at her bare feet and the space between the floor and the blanket, she smiled widely to herself.

When his fire was started, he called, "Do you know how to build a pancake?"

"No."

"You will after today. I thought I could give up these kitchen duties once you came, and be a woodsman instead. But I think I must teach you how to make pancakes first."

Anna grimaced. She herself already liked the woods far better than the kitchen, but she buttoned the last button and stepped out to meet her domestic fate.

"So, teach me how to build a pancake," she ordered in an affected tone of command.

"Annuuuh!" he exclaimed when he saw her, drawing out her name. "What is this you wear?"

"Britches." She flapped her hands.

"Britches? Ya, I see it is britches but ... but you are a woman."

"Karl, my skirts were wet to the knees before we got halfway out to the tamaracks yesterday. And they caught on the branches and made me trip, and got pitch all over them from dragging across the scrub. And ... and they made my work harder, so I decided to try on a pair of James' britches. Look!" She spun around. "They fit!"

"Ya, I see, but I do not know what to think. In
Sweden
no lady would be caught hiding in her pantry in britches."

"Oh, fiddle!" she snapped lightly. "In
Sweden
I'll bet there are so many men to build your houses the women don't have to help, right?"

"Ya, that is right," he reluctantly admitted. "But, Anna, I do not know about these britches."

"Well, I know. I know I'm not tripping over soggy skirts. Besides, who's gonna see me except you and James?"

He couldn't actually think of a logical argument. He had thought her dresses inappropriate. But britches? He could not resist asking, "I suppose in
Boston
there was no one to stop you from running loose in britches any time you wanted either?"

She looked sideways at him, then away. She found the still-rumpled bed and made herself busy flipping the covers smooth. "I did pretty much as I pleased there."

"Ya. I think you sure did. And it did not please you to learn pancake batter?"

"Here I am," she flipped her hands palms up, "ready to learn. But I'm not promising just how much I'll like it."

Karl explained that he had to adapt his mama's recipe for filmy, light Swedish pancakes because he had to do without eggs here.

He looked so utterly ridiculous, her great big Karl, standing there at the table, mixing up pancakes, she could not help teasing him. Throughout the lesson she refused to be serious, while he instructed her in odd measurements.

"Two palms full of flour."

"Whose palms? Yours or mine?" she kidded him.

"Two pinches of salt."

"I might have to borrow your palms and your fingers when it's my turn, because yours are a different size than mine."

"Enough saleratus--leavening--to fill perhaps the half shell of a hazelnut."

"And if I've never seen a hazelnut?" she asked mischievously, eliciting his promise to show her one soon, and an order to straighten up and pay attention, though he tried hard to hold a straight face.

"A lump of lard the size of two walnuts or so."

"Now--walnuts--at last, I know! It is the first useful measurement you have given me."

"No eggs," he said hopelessly. "No chickens, no eggs!"
            

"No eggs!" she exclaimed, pretending chagrin. "Whatever shall I do? I'm sure my pancakes will be tough as calluses without my eggs!"

He was having the utmost difficulty getting through this without kissing her teasing little face. He promised that soon they would hunt for prairie chicken eggs. Then came goat's milk.

"Enough to make it the right thickness," which she observed at extremely close range, getting her head in his way so he could not see, telling him ignorantly when she thought the batter was "just right."

The eggless pancakes proved sumptuous fare, indeed, especially when topped with syrup, which Karl explained proudly, was tapped and boiled down right here just this spring, from his own maples, which he promised to show her soon.

 
Anna was forced to miss the harnessing of the horses that morning, for she was left behind to clean up the dishes and scour the wooden pail from the goat's milk, using the disgusting yellow lye soap, which burned her skin. It was becoming increasingly apparent to Anna why a man needed help out here in the wilderness. Who in his right mind would not want someone to take care of these unpalatable household tasks?

But once again free of the cabin, her spirits blossomed. Outside was where she loved it best, with the wind lifting her hair, and the horses snorting and tossing their heads impatiently, and James pleased because he'd helped with the harnessing again today and had remembered everything quite clearly, and Karl seizing up his axe and the five of them all heading out to the tamaracks again.

They flushed a covey of grouse that morning, and Karl brought down one of the elusive darting birds with a single shot, laughing when he lowered the gun to find Anna squatted down in terror with her elbows over her ears.

"It is only a grouse," he said, "my little brave boy in britches."

"Only a grouse? It sounded like a hurricane!"

"Next time you hear it, you will know it is only wings, and you will not need to hide like a mouse."

The ease with which Karl brought the bird down convinced Anna that he was a practiced marksman, along with everything else. He gutted the kill immediately. At
noon
he completed the dressing of the bird, while James watched and learned, and Anna gagged.

Karl beamed with pride when he showed her where he kept his wild rice. It, too, was harvested off a slough on his own land in the northeast section. He set the rice to soak in boiling water, promising them a delightful supper. Later he taught them how to stuff the grouse with the musty-smelling rice, and how to wrap it all up in damp plantain leaves and plunge it into the coals along with yams wrapped likewise. He showed them how to sweeten the yams with maple syrup. Their meal would be truly delicious when they returned from their swim.

Anna was less tired that night, and also somewhat less unwilling to dip into the cold water. While Karl and James stood in chest-high water, throwing pink rocks into the drop-off, concentrating hard on just where they'd have to dive to retrieve them again, Anna took an enormous breath, glided underwater from behind Karl and bit him on the ankle, touching nothing else of his skin. Karl yelped. Anna heard him clear underwater, and came up howling and sputtering, the sand all awhirl where Karl had jumped and kicked at the underwater menace.

"Oh, Karl, you're so funny!" she gasped. "Scared of a little fish that doesn't make half the commotion of a bunch of dumb ruffed grouse!"

But one glance at Karl, and she knew the play war was on. He crouched. He narrowed his eyes menacingly, and lowered his face till it rode the water like a crocodile, only his eyes showing as he glided silently in pursuit. She backed away, hands spread to fend him off.

"Karl ... no, Karl ... I was just teasing, Karl!" She thrashed wildly, laughing and screaming, trying to get away from him.

James hollered, "Git her, Karl! Git her!"

"James, you little turd! I'm your sister! You're supposed to be on my side!" she yelled, clumsily plowing water. She looked over her shoulder and found she was getting nowhere fast.

"Git her, Karl! She called me a turd!"

"I heard her. Do you think a woman with such a nasty tongue should be punished?"

"Yeah! Yeah!" cheered the disloyal James, loving every minute of it.
    

"Traitor!" she badgered while Karl advanced, a feral gleam in his eye. Suddenly, he disappeared. Anna turned a circle, but the surface was broken only by little ripples. "Where'd he go? Karl? Where are –“ Like a whale surfacing, Karl lunged up and out of the water, catching Anna with a shoulder behind her knees, pitching her high in the air while the forest reverberated with her shriek. She flipped butt-up and landed with an ignominious splat! Up she came, with hair every place but where it should be, to the tune of James and Karl guffawing in great camaraderie.

"I think I just made a new kind of sea monster!" Karl pointed at Anna, who was coming on with fingers gnarled, snarling beautifully through the mop of dripping hair. Karl feigned helplessness when she caught him with both hands from behind his waist and wrestled him off his feet. She got the worst of it, naturally, for she went down backward and Karl sat on top of her. Under the water her arms slipped down on his water-slicked body and came into contact with more than just his belly. Swiftly, he turned in that liquid world, caught her against his chest and together they shot up like geysers, laughing into each other's faces.

"Oh, Anna, my little sea monster," he said, "what did I do before you were here?"

·
       
* * *

They all went to bed at the same time that night, in the room flavored with tobacco smoke and fellowship. When the cornhusks quit rustling, James' voice came lazily.

"'Night, Karl. 'Night, Anna."

"Goodnight, James," the two wished together.

Then Karl found Anna's hand and made patterns on its palm with his thumb. At last he pulled her nearer, making her roll on her side to face him, while he did likewise. "Are you tired?" he whispered very near her lips.

"No," she whispered back, thinking, no, no, no, no, no! I'm not at all tired.

"Last night I was disappointed you went to sleep so fast."

"So was I," she whispered, thrilled by his simple words and the feel of his hard thumb softly brushing. Her heart beat in double time while the palm of Anna's hand grew hot where Karl stroked it. They lay so still, with eyes wide open, noses almost touching, breathing upon each other.

James sighed, and Karl's thumb stopped moving. His breath warmed her face. With a slight movement, he touched the tip of his nose to hers. Silently, he let the touch speak for him while feelings of greater need coursed through his body. His grip on her hand became almost painful. A hint of movement brought Karl's lips lightly to hers.

Do that again, Karl--harder, she thought, while her heart hammered wildly. They lay unmoving, childlike, knees to knees, nose to nose, lips to lips, breath to breath, absorbed in the growing feeling of goodness at such simple nearness.

"Today was so good, Anna, having you and the boy here. I ... I feel such things," he whispered.

"What kind of things?"

"Things about all three of us," he whispered hoarsely, wishing he knew better how to tell her what he meant. "Working together on the logs--it is good. Eating together, swimming. I feel ... I feel full, Anna."

"Is ... is that what makes it? Working together and all the rest?" She nudged his thumb aside so hers could stroke his palm. Briefly his warm breath stopped falling upon her face, then she heard him swallow.

"You feel it, too, Anna?"

"I think so. I ... I don't know, Karl. I just know it's different here from Boston. It's better. We never had to work before. Working here, helping you ... I don't know. It doesn't really seem like work." She wanted to add things she didn't know how to say, things about his smile, his teasing, his patience, his love of this place, which somehow had started to seep into her, even the sweet peace of weariness last night, a satisfied weariness she had never before known. But these were things she yet only sensed but could not put voice to.

"For so long I dreamed of you being here to help with the cabin. Now it is just like I thought it would be. Going out all together in the morning, working all day, relaxing together in the evenings. I feel ... how good it is to laugh again, to laugh with you."

"You make me laugh so easy, Karl."

"Good. I like to see you laughing. You and the boy, too."

"Karl?"

"H'm?"

"We never had much reason to laugh before. Here, though, it's different." It pleased him that he should have provided this nicety, one he had not consciously sought to provide. He felt her admission was more than a simple statement of enjoyment, sensed it as her invitation for affection. Soundlessly, he moved, taking a piece of her upper lip between his, tugging lightly at it, as if to say, come nearer.