Authors: S. L. Eaves
Chapter 7
“I want to go home, Catch.”
We are sprawled on a fairway in Central Park, our backs flat against a grassy knoll, eyes on a gray, seamless sky.
“I thought we were done with this rubbish. You cannot go back to your old life.”
“It’s been well over a week; my friends will be worried.” I continue, “Besides, this Adrian guy you’re so intent on me meeting hasn’t shown. You’ve been waiting for orders that haven’t arrived.”
“He’s shown.”
Catch is not looking at me, so I don’t bother to hide my surprise.
“And?”
“He is observing us to see how you’re acclimating, our progress.”
I scanned the horizon as if expecting to spot a shrouded figure spying from afar.
“Ahh…so he’s the man behind the curtain? This is a test?”
“If anyone’s being tested, it’s me. He’s put you in my hands from the beginning. He’s letting me see it through. It’s a matter of duty, of completing my assignment.”
“He’s responsible for all this, isn’t he?”
Pain laced my words.
“It’s not that black and white. He gave me the final say. You have only me to blame. Only me to hate for it.” His voice trailed off.
We lie in silence for some time.
Catch can recount his conquests till sunrise, but when it comes to emotions, he is as guarded as they come. I make him feel human. I make him feel whole again. I make him feel.
He cherishes and loathes me for it.
We share a mutual love-hate relationship.
“I didn’t mean to call you an assignment.” Catch cleared his throat. “Force of habit. It came out cold and that’s not how I meant it.”
“I didn’t take it personally.”
He scoops me up, holding me tight as he whispers into my ear.
“Truth is I’m falling for you and it scares me. When I return to the war, I want you at my side.”
Maybe I haven’t given him enough credit. Maybe I am the one clinging to my emotions like a tree to its leaves before the frost set in.
I share his fear. But I don’t share his trust.
Some latent instinct wrenches in the pit of my stomach and I swallow to will it deeper. This winter promises to be particularly brutal.
“This is where you belong. In time, you will see.”
We ascend an embankment at the edge of Central Park, overlooking a pathway.
Catch slinks toward the group of trees and shrubs. He motions for me to follow.
“See the couple down there?”
I can make out the silhouettes of two people holding hands, arms swinging carelessly.
“I didn’t think we were supposed to kill humans.”
“No.” He smiles. “Relax. Just listen.”
After a moment.
“Hear anything?”
“Besides crickets?”
“I can hear every word of their conversation as though I was standing right beside them.”
“They have to be forty yards away, probably more.”
“Focus. Train your senses; you can hear them.”
Skeptically, I obey. First focusing on them, then with my eyes shut, I let my ears do the work. I hear a murmur. My eyes shoot open and I look around, expecting to see someone approaching.
“Concentrate,” he persists.
Clips and phrases become whole sentences and soon I am hearing every word clearly. As the distance between us and them grow, the voices fade.
I open my eyes and repeat proudly, “But your brother’s place smells like rotten fish. Why do we always have to crash there?”
Catch smirks. “Nice work.”
“That’s amazing.”
“Keep working on it; soon it’ll come naturally.”
“I think I can even smell his cologne.”
“No, that’s mine.” He laughs as I give him a playful shove.
“Our senses are heightened, but smell is one advantage the werewolves have over us. Enhanced hearing and smell come naturally to them as it would any canine on steroids. With us it takes more effort.”
“Can you tell if they are wolves from here?”
He shook his head. “Not this far away, but you shouldn’t have to get much closer to sense the difference.”
“And you’ll show me?”
“In time.”
“Bloody hell.”
“Now, my love, that’s my language you’re stealing,” he teases, hoisting me up onto his shoulders.
“You’re rubbing off on me,” I joke.
He spins me around, my legs wrapped around his midsection. He lifts his face to mine and greets me with a kiss.
Moments later we are off and running through the park. A wild blur. As we circle a lake, I glimpse the water and slow my pace. He stops, turns.
“What?”
I crouch down closer to the water. He joins me, rubbing my back.
“You’re not in there. Not anymore.”
“It’s so strange.”
“The water—it’s afraid to hold your image.”
The calm, vast surface. Foreign. Empty.
I sit at its edge, transfixed.
“You asked about those people before. What if I said yes? What if they were wolves?” Catch sits beside me. “Would you be able to confront them? Take necessary actions?”
“If it were me versus them, then yeah, I’d fight.”
“I’m not talking self-defense necessarily…” I have an answer. One he will be more comfortable hearing than I will be giving. “Truth is, somewhere, somewhere deep down, I wanted those people to give me a reason, any reason, to attack.”
“That’s the hunger.”
“Maybe, but I also feel this anger and it frightens me. I’m constantly wrestling with this demon and it’s exhausting. I’m afraid of what I’ll become.”
Catch skims a rock across the water’s surface.
“The hunger isn’t just for blood. It’s for bloodshed. And the anger, well, let it be motivation. When I was a mortal, the slightest thing could set me off. I was so angry at the world. Kept it bottled up till I’d downright explode. Got me into trouble more times than I’d like to admit. But in this world—all the violent, savage creatures I’ve gone up against—anger is a commodity. If you think me fearless, you’d be mistaken. It’s that fury I hone in on, convert it to strength, to courage. It drives me and it will drive you.”
He throws another rock. It hops once then plunks into the water.
Chapter 8
Thirsty’s is packed with familiar faces. I find my roommates at a table by the bar joined by some classmates. I’m not sure how long I’ve been gone, but apparently it hasn’t been long enough to raise alarm, just a few questions. I tell my roommates, most of whom are already half-drunk when I get there, that I’d been shacked up with a new beau. Which is not entirely false. And it would not be the first time I’d gone off the grid with a guy, so it serves as a believable cover. One that is met by eye rolls. Guess they remember the last time.
“I bet I know who you’ve been hooking up with,” Sasha teases.
“That so? Enlighten me.” I laugh, wondering who she thinks the mystery man is.
“Yes please, do tell.” Jeff throws back the rest of his beer in one big gulp.
“Well, I don’t know his name, but I’m guessing he’s tall with dark hair and a British accent.”
If I had a drink, I’d be choking on it.
“British?” is all I manage to get out.
“Yeah, he came by to borrow a book…couple weeks ago.”
“Wait, who? Why am I the last to hear about these things?” Kylie who’d been chatting with a guy I didn’t recognize suddenly turns her attention to us.
Trust me, Kylie, you’re not the last to hear.
I am sure I have trouble hiding the expression of utter shock on my face. Jeff bursts out laughing at my reaction.
“Yep, that’s the guy all right, it’s written all over her face.” He smirks and signals to Greg for another round.
“Damn, I can’t hide anything from you two. You’re good, Sasha, I’ll give you that one.”
“Knew it!” She is pleased with herself. “So why isn’t he joining us tonight? Or did it run its course?”
“He’s working tonight, but I dunno…I guess I’ll keep seeing him.”
“Bored already?”
Jeff is still involved with the first girl who’d agreed to sleep with him freshman year.
Erica. She is insufferable, but he is infatuated so I dealt. We all dealt. My roommates and I had transformed our mutual disdain into a bonding exercise, leaving inside jokes on the message boards and random notes like “One guess who drank all our beer—her name rhymes with America” on the refrigerator. Neither Sasha, Kylie nor I seemed to stay locked down for more than a semester, and he never missed an opportunity to point out our promiscuity.
“Nah, it’s not him. Actually I’m thinking of taking a job offer on the West Coast. Work-study thing, spend a semester in Cali.”
“Oh yeah? That’s awesome. I mean we’ll miss you and all, but sounds like a fun opportunity.” Sasha does her best to sound encouraging.
“It might be. We’ll see. But tonight I just want to drink.”
Just then Greg arrives on queue with a tray full of beers.
“Perfect timing!”
“Hey Lori, how’ve you been? Pass that exam?”
Shit. I have no idea.
“Ha, yeah, just barely,” I lied. “You?”
“Same.”
I follow him back to the bar and slip him my credit card.
“Put the tab on me tonight, okay? The whole table. And you better join us for a few rounds.”
“You got it.” He grins that charming grin.
I miss being human. And it is all too easy to slip back into my old world. It is both refreshing and tormenting.
And it is going just fine until we go to play a round of pool and find Catch waiting between the table and the back door. He pulls me outside.
“You have to stop this, Lori. Now.”
“It’s one night out with my friends. Friends who were starting to wonder where I’ve been. You want them to file a missing persons report? I’m just letting them know I’m all right.”
“Fine. They saw you. Now let’s go.”
He tries again to pull me away. I stand my ground.
His eyes harden as I draw closer.
“Tell me, Catch. Why exactly am I here? Why me?”
“I will show you. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need you to trust me. Deep down, you know this is wrong.”
“Were you at my house? Before we met? My roommate seems to think she met you. Either that or another tall British guy claiming to know me.”
Catch nods. “I was seeking an invite into your house…keeping my options open.”
“So I was a target? How much are you not telling me?”
“I’m being as open with you as I can. You’re not exactly making this transaction easy with antics like this.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize there was an easy way to do this.”
There’s really no limit to how sarcastic one can sound when infuriated.
“You have to leave the past behind. You have a new destiny now, one you must embrace.”
“The past? This is my life. This. Right here. This is who I am!”
My tirade comes through angry whispers and gritted teeth as I feel my eyes begin to glow and force myself to remain calm. “Godless creatures. You lecture me about a fate and destiny you believe so strongly—a belief I do not share!” I move to re-enter the bar and Catch remains unflustered.
“You’re only making this more difficult—for you and everyone you care for.”
My wall crumbles.
“You ripped me from this and my eyes are still open.”
He is holding my arms and I push him away with clenched fists.
“I wish I could forget, Catch. You couldn’t have just killed me.”
Catch wipes hair from my tearing eyes and pulls me into him.
“Fine. Just tonight. Say your goodbyes. Do what you must for closure. And be careful.”
I step back into the doorway. Catch reaches out once again, pulls me into a kiss. I feel those magnetic sparks and I hate him for it.
Finally, I manage to tear myself away one last time and return inside the bar. I’m aware of him watching me even as the door closes. He’s warning me, warning me about a danger I do not understand.
***
Adrian emerges from the shadows.
“You’re falling for her,” he states flatly.
Catch doesn’t turn. “Don’t act like you didn’t plan on this.”
“No, I’m not surprised. I wanted to ensure she’d be in the best hands possible.”
Catch starts down the alley. Adrian falls in stride beside him.
“This see’er business. How am I supposed to teach her how to access that?”
“That ability cannot be taught. That’s instinct. She’ll see when she’s ready.”
“If you say so.”
“It’s ironic how you bring out the humanity in her, my boy. And she in you.”
“Is that so horrible a notion—humanity?”
They reach the street and Catch stops to light a cigarette.
“Only when it comes at a price.”
“And that would be…?”
“Time will tell.”
Catch spins around. Adrian has vanished.
“Cryptic son of a bitch.”
I don’t know how to play the victim. I act irrational under stress. And I’m a horrible liar.
But if backed into a corner, I can manage.
“Hey Lori, is that you? All those shots coming back up?” asks a grating, Fran Dresher voice that can only belong to Erica.
I’m fairly certain she dislikes me as much as I dislike her. But if you heard her speak you’d think she was my best friend. Everything about her is fake, including her breasts. She smiles and feigns concern. I reciprocate with an equally forged smile as I exit the bathroom stall where I’d been recovering from my encounter with Catch.
“Nah,” I reply nonchalantly. “Not me. I’m game for another round at least.”
She looks up from her makeup case. I was lost in my head, Catch’s words echoing in my ears. I see Erica’s expression and I follow her eyes.
No reflection.
I quickly move for the door, but the mirror stretches the whole length of the wall. Her eyes do not waver from the mirror I’m not in. What can I possibly offer as explanation? I bail.
In my haste I nearly collide with Brett.
“Hey, how are you? Haven’t seen you since the trial, wanted to congratulate you. Can I buy you a drink?”
Brett’s been a friend of mine since freshman year. He’s by far one of the most genuine, decent guys I’ve had the privilege of knowing. If he hadn’t hooked up with at least two of my girlfriends, I’d have probably acted on my crush sometime during the course of our friendship. While I partially understood his desire to join the most notorious fraternity on campus, he was the complete antithesis to everything they represented. I hoped the incident with Rachel opened his eyes.
Now, as I continue to add distance between myself and Erica, Brett and his apologies follow after me. He was noticeably absent from my hearing and I am still unsure where we stand. My newfound indifference comes in handy on these occasions. Catch was right about that much; now it just doesn’t seem to matter.
“Not sure if you heard, but I left the frat. I feel so guilty for bringing Rachel there, all of you girls, exposing you to that filth—”
“Stop, Brett, please. No one resents you for what went down in that house. I’m glad you came to your senses, but I really don’t want to talk about it now, not tonight, okay?”
“Sure, sure, I understand. You know their house burned to the ground just last week. Cops are sayin’ it’s arson. Might want to lay low for a while.”
“You think it was me?”
He shrugs defensively. “Those guys had a lot of enemies. But given everything that’s happened… Hell, Lori, I’d have struck the match myself if given the chance.”
“So would half the student population. But thanks for the heads up.”
Now would be a good time to find out if I could still get drunk.
“Hey Brett, do me a favor, okay. Keep an eye on Rachel. These days she could really use a friend and I haven’t been able to be there for her much lately.”
“Of course. Don’t even have to ask.”
“Yo Lori—is this for real?” Jeff calls down from the table where Greg is placing a dozen full shot glasses.
“Yeah, but they’re not all for you, so try not to drool on them.”
I return to the table where a lively game of King’s corner is in full swing.
***
Erica composes herself and pulls Jeff aside.
“No, I’m telling you something’s up with her; she’s not herself.”
“Whatever, have you seen Derik?”
“No, listen, I’m serious. I just ran into her in the bathroom and—”
She clasps Jeff’s arm and leans in to whisper, but her drunkenness prevents her attempts at discretion. “She didn’t have a reflection.”
“Huh?”
“In the mirror.”
Jeff laughs, “You’re being ridiculous, babe.”
Annoyed, she fishes through her purse.
Jeff ignores her. “What are you drinking? I’ll take whatever you’re having.”
“I’m not that wasted. Okay—maybe I’m a little drunk, but listen she—”
“She’s had a rough time lately. Cut her some slack and calm down. Let’s play some pool. See how drunk you really are.”
Jeff makes for the pool table; Erica staggers after, still protesting.
“Okay, I get it I’m a buzz kill, but I’m telling you—keep an eye on that girl. Something’s not right. She’s like sick or possessed or something.”
“Babe, I love you, but are you hearing yourself right now? Get some water and dial down the crazy.”
Erica eyes Lori.
“I know what I saw.”
***
The night is a typical shade of gray. The city is masked in a perpetual layer of haze. I stumble out of the bar with my roommates, minus Jeff who had taken a plastered Erica back to her dorm. I am mostly faking my intoxication, but I’d managed to consume enough liquor to generate a buzz, one quickly subdued by the frigid night air.
I stare up forlornly at the clouds. The wind is brisk and whisks them across the moon, graceful, yet ominous. I let them hypnotize me as we walk. A car races by, calls from inebriated classmates pour from the windows-and break my daze.
“Hey, I think that was Chad.”
“Really?”
“It sounded like him.” I try to sound interested.
“Didn’t it? And that was Rickie with ’em. Had to be.”
“Crazy fuckers.”
“Yeah…maybe we should see them about an after party.”
“My guess is they’ll be seeing the cops if they keep carrying on like that.”
We are making our way down a street on the edge of campus. College apartments flank our left. Students usually fill the balconies and surrounding lawn with kegs and barbecue pits, but the unforgiving temperature had forced even the heartier drunkards indoors tonight.
I impulsively take a deep breath and the sting of the night air shocks my unused lungs. I cough. My friends are still talking about Chad and his ‘banging’ friends. Suddenly the door of the parked car we’re passing flies open and I nearly slam into it. The long black Buick screams government issue, it’s tinted windows giving it that furtive edge. I grab the top of the protruding door to prevent collision.