The End of Everything (New Yiddish Library Series) (10 page)

—He’d hurried off to see that member of the board whose opinion, according to what the director had told him, carried most weight when decisions were reached …

—From that board member he’d hurried back to the director … To all intents and purposes he’d now persuaded both of them …

—Now there remained only the third member, an old general, and the fourth, a Polish nobleman … With God’s help he’d win their support this coming week … There was no doubt he’d win it.

By no means downhearted, he had great confidence; despite his anxiety, he’d nevertheless remembered to bring presents home, and once he even made a witty remark about the new silk skullcap he’d brought back from the provincial capital. At the time, Gitele was deeply dissatisfied with this head covering:

—How could he pick out a skullcap for himself—she protested—without noticing that it fell down round his ears?
^†

Nothing more than his strained, sharply etched nose seemed to smile in response.

—Did Gitele really believe that his head was in the provincial capital just then? At that time, his head had been at home.

And presently he threw on his Sabbath overcoat and rushed away to welcome the Sabbath at the old Sadagura prayer house
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where for a while after the service a few observant, wealthy young men kept their places on either side of his reserved seat at the eastern wall, watched him with eyes filled with high regard and feline gratitude, and were prepared at any moment to wish him all the joys of the World to Come because he’d behaved honorably and in good time had repaid what he owed them.

Of course they were well disposed toward him, these few observant, wealthy young men in their silk capotes, but because their money was so precious to them, and because they felt so guilty at having been afraid to trust Hurvits, now, walking home, they were mournfully silent and often, quite suddenly and apropos of nothing, remarked to one or another:

—After all, he’s a decent man, Reb Gedalye, eh? Altogether a thoroughly decent man.

Meanwhile there was great curiosity in town to know how it would end:

Would Reb Gedalye manage to extricate himself from his difficulties or not?

At this time, widespread interest was taken in the matter, which was frequently discussed.

The only person unwilling to discuss it was Mirele, his only child, that delicately brought up slender creature who, during that period, either through love for her father or love for herself, would often leave the house and stay out all day.

She was now unduly pensive and volatile, behaving with excessive harshness even toward the crippled student Lipkis, who on her account had not attended his courses at the university that year and limpingly followed her around everywhere. Walking by his side for hours on end, she was quite capable of forgetting that he was still alive, and would unexpectedly turn to stare at him with so strange an expression of astonishment it seemed as though she were unable to believe what she saw and could not understand it:

—Just look! Lipkis was still walking by her side! And she’d imagined that he’d gone home long ago.

When she did deign to notice him, she couldn’t stop herself from hurting him with a sharp remark:

—Lipkis, why do your moustaches grow so oddly? They never grow so oddly on anyone else.

Or:

—Generally speaking, you’re not bad looking, Lipkis, but when one studies you closely, you look fearfully like a Japanese.

At such times he felt inordinately ill at ease and was unable to respond. He could think of no reason why she kept silent, and many times decided that it was needful to say something encouraging to her about her father’s situation and the brouhaha that had erupted in their home. Once he finally began to stammer:

—To be sure, he understood very well that unhappiness didn’t derive primarily from money, and yet … He didn’t know why, but every time he’d called on them recently and seen her father there, a tragedy seemed to be taking place around him.

Without so much as glancing at him, Mirele silently fixed her blue eyes on the sunset in the distance, and remarked with cold indifference:

—Well, lend him twelve thousand rubles and he’ll free himself from his difficulties.

And with sorrow in her blue eyes she went on staring silently ahead, to the place where the sun was setting.

How odd: this delicately brought up creature even knew exactly how much her father needed to save himself. Quite possibly she knew also that had she not broken off her engagement to Velvl Burnes, his father, Avrom-Moyshe, would readily have supplied this sum. Quite possibly she’d given this matter much thought, which was why she could now say, so easily and simply:

—Well, lend him twelve thousand rubles and he’ll free himself from his difficulties.

These words abruptly reminded the crippled student Lipkis of his widowed mother whom he and his elder brother supported, and of the old overcoat that she’d carried out after him that time when, traveling to the provincial capital with Mirele, he’d hastily hobbled out to the conveyance in which she was waiting for him.

At the time it seemed that Mirel, seated on the phaeton, had smiled and glanced aside.

Why had she glanced aside then? Was it because at that moment her former fiancé had come driving up from town in his buggy? Or merely because every Sabbath Lipkis’s mother used that same old overcoat to wrap around her
tsholnt
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in the oven?

In reality, though, this spoiled and self-centered young woman was incapable of thinking seriously about anyone who lived outside the confines of a soul like her own, shrunken by the solipsism inevitable in an only child.

Lipkis began to understand this clearly only some time later and subsequently even reproached her for it in the many letters he failed to send her.

—He wondered—he protested in one of these unsent letters—whether her egoistic little heart was even capable of empathizing with the predicament of her own hard-pressed father, distracted by misfortune as he was, whom she, an adult woman, had felt no embarrassment in kissing before a room full of people?

The moderately cold air froze into unhearing silence, and the first snows settled over the dispirited shtetl and over the vacant, wintry district all around.

Unable any longer to endure her father’s house even for a single minute, Mirel wandered aimlessly about the surrounding windswept fields as long as the short periods of daylight lasted, leaving her footprints and those of Lipkis behind everywhere. At such times they looked odd in the chill, distant air between the dirty skies and the snow-white earth, two people wandering in silence across the vast encircling fields and rarely speaking to each other. The silence of bereavement was all around them, from a solitary peasant hut under a white-blanketed roof right down to a frozen stream somewhere in a nearby valley; dozing here and there in scattered corners of the horizon, those whitened coppices that had buried themselves deep in the snow appeared pristine and unfamiliar from where they stood, deceiving the eye of anyone who might on a rare occasion pass through on a swiftly moving sleigh:

—Look! The little oak coppices should be there, shouldn’t they?

No one noticed that by then she was on familiar terms with Lipkis and had started addressing him by his first name.

—Normally—Mirel remarked to him on one occasion, meandering aimlessly over these windswept fields—she had not the remotest feeling of love for him, but at times, for no reason, she felt pleased that he was walking by her side. Could Lipkis understand this or not?

And biting her lower lip, she began filliping his nose to help him understand, in this way forcing him to start grinning foolishly.

The sorrow in her blue eyes intensified, and from time to time it would gaze out with a melancholy glint; then she’d stare pensively into the partially blurred winter distance for a long, long time, and unpredictably pose bizarre questions:

—Lipkis, can you hear the way the world keeps silent?

Lipkis felt that he ought to say something about this silent world, made drawn-out preparations to do so in his throat and with his shoulders, and finally began:

—Yes, it would hardly be inappropriate if the two of them were to set off across these fields and never turn back again.

Paying not the slightest attention to what he said, she continued to stare straight ahead into the partially blurred distance, musingly developing her own thoughts:

—Could he imagine how alien and insignificant everything seemed to her now?

And a short while later, more of the same:

—If the whole of this frozen world, with herself in the middle of it, were now to be overturned, she wouldn’t even utter a cry of fright.

But at other times she was possessed of a strange joy linked to a wild longing for life; on these occasions nothing could persuade her to return home and she went on at length about her father’s creditors both local and distant who called on them daily, created an uproar, and banged on the table:

—These people were so disgusting … Her father was certainly to blame for having squandered their money, but this didn’t automatically give them the right to barge through their home at will, shouting for help and accusing him of robbery so loudly that they could be heard ten streets away.

Once, on an ordinary misty day, a religiously observant, scholarly, and extremely naïve young man, an unadventurous stay-at-home with a little black beard and a pale, sickly, jaundiced complexion, came to their house from some neighboring shtetl. For a long time he sat silently in their dining room, waiting in a state of shock. Several times their relative, the worldly and devoted bookkeeper, loudly repeated the same thing to him, as though speaking to the deaf:

—Reb Gedalye was currently abroad, visiting his sister who owned her own village there; that’s where he was now.

And the young man with the jaundiced complexion, still in a state of shock, went on asking in his soft, hoarse, feeble voice:

—Does this mean that the money Reb Gedalye owes me is lost? … Truly lost?

He appeared utterly devastated, this young man with the jaundiced complexion, and apparently regarded it as impossible to return home and go on living:

On that occasion Mirel ate no midday meal but spent an entire winter’s day dragging herself about outdoors with Lipkis.

—He could well imagine how hungry she was—she repeatedly remarked to Lipkis—but that stunned young man was still sitting in their house. He looked so unhappy that she couldn’t bear to look at him.

She kept sending Lipkis in to check whether the young man had left, impatiently waited for his return not far from the house, and then called out to him from a distance:

—Well? What? Is he still sitting there?

Night fell, and lamps were lighted in the town’s houses. Lamps were also lighted in their house and at length, with her face red and frozen, she came indoors and without taking off her winter outdoor garments began comforting the young man with the jaundiced complexion:

—He could be certain: she’d do everything in her power to ensure that his two thousand rubles were returned to him.

Afterward she even accompanied him outside to his sleigh, expressed concern that his legs would be cold, and with her own hands helped him wrap them in sacking.

—He should tie this end of the sacking under himself … And he shouldn’t hesitate to pull up his fur collar … like that.

For a long time afterward she followed his sleigh with her eyes, completely forgetting about herself and her hunger:

—Did he have any conception of how unhappy this man was?—she inquired pensively of Lipkis.

Lipkis was deeply troubled by the fact that he hadn’t attended a single one of his lectures all that day, and felt decidedly odd, as though he were strictly observant and had suddenly recalled as night fell that he hadn’t donned prayer shawl and phylacteries
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earlier. More than usual he was infuriated and resentful, totally out of patience, and very nearly lost his temper over the thought:

—Would she ever go indoors or not?

But she continued to gaze pensively in the direction in which the sleigh carrying the young man was disappearing into the farthest end of the town, and was unable to forget his jaundiced complexion:

—He’s so unhappy—she repeated quietly to herself.—Obviously no one’s ever loved him, and now his small capital’s been reduced by more than two thousand rubles.

From abroad, meanwhile, new letters kept arriving from Reb Gedalye.

Wholly preoccupied, he was unable to relax at his sister’s, and he wanted to return as soon as possible to the tumult of his trading affairs and begged for mercy, as though from bandits:

—They’d taken and buried him alive.

Both his wife Gitele and his devoted relative the bookkeeper replied, taking trouble to set his mind at rest:

—Everything was sorting itself out, thank God. Little by little they were coming to terms with his creditors; because of good sleigh roads, the income from the Kashperivke woods had greatly improved; the bank had extended credit for three thousand rubles on the Count’s note of hand; and Mirele, long might she live, was well, all praise to God. The stock of winter wheat in the Ternov mill was still registered in the name of the landowner, and the price of flour was rising daily. With God’s help, Reb Gedalye would soon be able to return home; meanwhile, his wishes were being carried out and both the Kuzari and the first volume of Abravanel’s commentaries were being sent to him by post.
*

Meanwhile, for days at a time all was hushed and serene indoors; often all that could be heard was the bookkeeper scratching his pen over the accounts in the study, and the regular ticking of the pendulum on the great wall clock in the dining room as it counted off the minutes of the short, darkly overcast winter’s day.

For days at a time no one now called at the house apart from one or another tardy creditor and Libke, the rabbi’s young wife, a tall, freckled, half-masculine redhead who regarded herself and her husband as Reb Gedalye’s closest friends and who always wore a half smile to irritate her enemies.