The Embrace (36 page)

Robert began to smile, obviously recalling some of the moments he and Diego had shared. It was a touching sight. I realised how many stories Robert must have had throughout his life, and the fact that he was willing to share them with me felt special.

“We returned to Britain again in the early 1500s. King Henry VIII had been on the throne for over 20 years. We arrived about a year before Anne Boleyn was made queen. I guess we were drawn to England by all the upheaval at the time.

Shortly after Anne was made queen we managed to integrate ourselves into the society at court. We were good at manipulation and we carried ourselves like wealthy men, except Diego of course. He was far too meek. He still managed to win the hearts of many ladies in waiting, though. He was seen as one of court’s most eligible bachelors. 

About 6 months after Anne became queen, I met Joan. She was a woman of noble birth, not much older than you. She was blonde, exceptionally beautiful. Most of the men at court fantasised about her at one time or another. She reminded me of my wife in some ways, they had the same strength. She was engaged to be married but that didn’t stop me. I became infatuated with her. It infuriated Lucius and he spent all of his time with Diego as some sort of retaliation.

You must understand, Louisa, that a vampire can never love a human. It’s not in our DNA.”

He paused here, obviously struggling for words. I had so many questions to ask. Gabriel had always told me he loved me, even during those several years we had spent together before my first death. He promised that he had loved no other the way he loved me, and now Robert was telling me this had all been a lie.

“I don’t understand. Gabriel said he loved me when I was a human. And Dahlia...” I stopped, not wanting to bring up painful memories.

“It’s hard to explain. Think about it like a dog. Humans are a lower species than us, I’m sure you would agree. Dogs are lower than humans too. Humans can love a dog. It becomes part of the family and takes on human qualities. When you choose a family dog you choose it because it will fit in with your life, it suits the criteria you have, even if you don’t realise you have any criteria at all. It’s like that with vampires and humans. We can appreciate their beauty and we can become enamoured with them. If we didn’t have that method then we would never turn anyone and the race would die out. Even so, we cannot love them the way we love other vampires, or the way humans can love us. Gabriel may have known he wanted you to be his mate but his love for you was never the same as your love for him.”

My body froze. I had always suspected that my love for Gabriel had been stronger than his love for me but to be told it was all a lie made my bones chill. I could barely move and it was only when Robert began to speak again that I was shaken from my moment of comatose.

“I was infatuated with Joan but I knew it would never amount to anything. She was betrothed and I was bound to Lucius by a force beyond my control. The power that links the sire to the child is more powerful than anything I’ve ever encountered, as I’m sure you know. So I just watched her. I could have tasted her without any problems. I would have erased her memory and carried on, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to risk ruining the mystique I had placed around her. I wanted her to remain a paragon of human beauty for as long as possible.

By 1536 it seemed clear to us that Anne would not remain on the throne for much longer. In January of that year I realised I would have to act. Joan was 25 and she was married, although her husband was an oaf and I saw her take many lovers. She would be with child soon and I knew that if Anne was removed then Joan could fall out of favour too. They had been acquaintances and Henry wouldn’t want any reminders of his mistakes. He always took things personally. I knew she would be taken from court and from my life forever, so one night after she visited one of her lovers I approached her. I compelled her, to numb the pain, and then I made her into one of us.

Lucius was furious, but for once Diego stood up to our creator. As Lucius’ first mate I had always succumbed to his will but Diego had done so far more willingly than I. He really loved Lucius and being his favourite while I was with Joan had boosted his confidence. He convinced Lucius to let me go free, and eventually he did.”

I pushed him on how a vampire is freed from the bond with their maker but he didn’t have much to say. I was desperate to know how I could be freed from Gabriel.

“It’s something that is older than all of the vampires alive today. It’s just words but somehow these words take on a more powerful meaning. It’s hard to explain but when the time comes you just know how to do it. Sorry I can’t be of more help, but there aren’t any manuals for this kind of thing.

After I was freed, Joan and I travelled North. We remained with Lucius and Diego for a while but they went to Germany when the 17th century began and had their own life. That part of the story will come later, I promise.

For the time being Joan and I travelled Europe, drawn to places with political or social change. It was like a drug for us. The streets were filled with violence and rebellion, and the crowds made for easy prey. In 1705 we reached Hungary in the middle of a revolution.

Joan was different from me. She was more impulsive and reckless. I loved her for it but at the same time it worried me. She would never think of the consequences.

While we were in Hungary, Joan returned to the nest with Gyorgy. He was a Hungarian revolutionary. He seemed like a scared little boy to me, but he was utterly enthralled by Joan and I could see why she chose him. She wanted a slave, not a master. I was just baggage by this point.

It was the most difficult moment I had encountered in decades, but I made my decision. Joan was careless and she was a risk to my safety. I loved her but I could tell she no longer loved me in the same way. She wanted someone she could control. So I freed her.”

The sadness in his eyes told me that even 300 years hadn’t healed the wound left by freeing Joan.  It just went to show how intense a vampire’s emotions are compared to a human’s. We feel everything with intensity and every emotion remains in our heads for eternity, ready to rise up and torment us whenever it chooses.

I rubbed his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him. “Wasn’t that difficult? I can’t even imagine.”

“It was unbearable.” He agreed. “I had been with her for 169 years. She was the first human I had turned and she had been my true mate. Losing her to another vampire was agony, but I knew I had to move on.

I travelled to Italy almost immediately. I had never been but I was drawn by it’s quiet tranquility. It was a place of creativity and discovery, and even though I was alone I felt part of something bigger. Vampires aren’t meant to be alone for too long. We’re meant to have someone with us. I eventually became tired of being on my own, and I decided to find a mate.

Around 20 years after I reached Italy I found my next mate. Her name was Catherine, and she was 16. I saw her working on a market stall, selling flowers to passersby. She was exquisite. She had the flawless olive skin and ebony hair that was an Italian trademark.

She was so different from Joan. Joan had looked like a porcelain doll on the outside, but inside she was pure evil. Catherine looked seductive and powerful, even at her young age, but I could see that she was really just a timid young woman. She was lonely too, and so we had that in common. I could feel it coming from her in waves.

I waited until she closed the stall a few nights later. She was walking home when I surprised her. I wanted to feel this kill, not like Joan’s death. I wanted to be there for every moment. It was messy of course. Catherine wept like a scared infant. It was a sound I would have longed to hear from anyone else, but from a future mate it felt wrong. I was so glad when it was all over.

The next night I realised my mistake. She was beautiful, but she wasn’t strong enough. If I had taken more time to watch her, like I had done with Joan, then I would have known that. Some people are just not meant for our world and Catherine was one of them, but I couldn’t turn back time and so I had to do my best. I decided to be her protector, her guardian.

We stayed in Italy for a while. I thought it would be best to stay somewhere familiar to her, to ease her transition. She seemed to perk up after a few years and it almost made me hopeful for our future together.

She fell apart not long later. About five years after I turned her, she became dangerously curious. Most vampires go through a phase like that near the beginning, although I have to say yours did come a lot earlier than most. She accidentally stumbled upon a sect. They were very ancient, powerful vampires who had gathered in Italy to try and control some of the artistic movements of the time. She stumbled upon them after following a potential victim. The human escaped and told all of the villagers who then pledged to hunt the sect down and kill them. In those days Europeans were more open about the idea of demons. They accepted them, but they feared and hated them.

In revenge the sect launced a vendetta against Catherine. She was such a foolish girl. I blamed myself for creating her but I had seen something of myself in her. I’ve thought about her so much in the past few centuries, wondering whether I could have saved her. I never should have turned her to start with, it was just a selfish act.

We escaped just in time and fled to some other European nations. We eventually settled in Austria. I had been once with Joan, but it was different with my new companion. I felt more protective. Joan would never let any one else protect her.

Of course a leopard never changes it’s spots and Catherine couldn’t change her personality. She was seen killing a villager. We had been hiding in a small town to keep a low profile from the sect but the villagers in that area were always amongst the most superstitious. When they saw Catherine, they suspected straight away what she was. When they had evidence, they burned her to death.

I could feel her pain while they did it. I wasn’t there to see it, but when I closed my eyes I could smell the burning flesh. I could see the flames. I felt it all through her. I wanted to stay and mourn her death. I had only been with her for 16 years but she had been so vulnerable. It felt like losing a child.

I wanted to take the time to mourn, but it was too dangerous for me to stay there. I had been seen with her before and I knew the villagers would find me. If that happened then I would probably be killed. I fled to Western Europe for safety and I decided to stay there for a while.

I returned to Paris, which was very strange. I hadn’t been back there since my days as a human. I had spent so many evenings there with Corinna before moving to England, but going back was surreal. In those days Paris was a popular stop off before the journey to America. Everyone was talking about the society in America and it sounded tempting.

I was in a port in France when I ran in to Diego. I hadn’t seen him in 150 years but it was like we had never been apart. We made the journey to America together. We commandeered a private room on a ship and ordered the crew not to bother us. It was nice to catch up with him but he told me some dark stories about Lucius. Stories that scared me.”

The way he spoke sent shivers down my spine. “What kind of stories?”

He shook his head vigourously. “I will tell you but it’s not the right time yet. We went to America and spent a few years together but after a while we decided to travel the country separately. We were friends, but we had no sire bond so parting felt like the right thing to do.

Just before the 1900s dawned I moved to the Deep South, to try my hand at property developing. About 2 years after I arrived I met Charlotte. She was a young, black worker on my cotton plantation. Everyone who worked there loved her. They called her Lottie for short. She had a strong maternal instinct, a family girl who had helped to raise her 2 younger brothers. I turned her a few weeks after I first saw her.

It was nice to have a companion again after Diego and I parted. Lottie adored me, I could tell. She wasn’t as fearful as Catherine, but she wasn’t vindictive like Joan. I wanted to return to Europe to show Lottie the countries I loved. We left in 1910, but the journey weakened her. She was never the same after that.

I practically had to hunt for her. She was weak but she still tried to act like nothing was wrong, to protect me. I loved her more than I had loved anyone before, and she knew that seeing her pain would be like torture for me. We reached Russia in 1930. I hadn’t spent much time there before but I thought the cold climate and high crime rates would suit Lottie’s needs.

I sired a Russian man while we were there. He was a soldier, named Alexei. He was about 30, much older than my other newborns, and he was the first male I had turned so it wasn’t out of love. It was for Lottie. I thought that having someone else to help her hunt and to shower her with love would be a good thing, but of course she was too weak to turn anyone herself.

He was a nice boy. He had been an alcoholic in his human life and so he was quite impulsive, but he loved Lottie like a true brother. I guess we were a dysfunctional family for a while.

In 1958 we travelled to Holland. I was trying to move us closer to England, where I felt safest. Alexei hadn’t been that far West before so it was a journey for both of them. She was getting weaker and I knew I had to do something. I had wanted to be in England by the time we entered the 1960s, but in 1964 she was still too weak to travel.

Her brain slowly deteriorated, following her body. She would have lucid moments now and then but most of the time she dressed as if she was back in the 1800s. It was so hard to watch her die like that but I couldn’t bring myself to end her life.