The Embrace (2 page)

When I was 13 years old my life was so different. I was part of the perfect 2.4 family on the outside, with all the secrets and sins hidden on the inside. We never suffered any abuse, and I know that my parents cared for us a great deal.  I had two older siblings. My sister Beth was 16 and my brother Michael was 18 and preparing to join the military. Believe me this had been a sticking point in my family for months, but he was set on it and was due to deploy just months after his eighteenth birthday.

My mother had never wanted to have children but my father convinced her. As a consequence she really had no idea how to handle us. She let us run wild and had no control over our actions, hence Michael’s drastic career choice. Beth was a promiscuous young woman who flirted with almost anyone to draw attention to the forgotten “middle child." I was quiet and reserved in comparison. I never showed off the way my two siblings did and so my mother often forgot about me, but I was never upset about it. I liked to be left alone with only my own thoughts for comfort.

I’m making my life out to be more difficult that it really was. I was just above average at school and I had plenty of friends, but nothing about me stood out or made me special. Not until that one night, the night I first met Gabriel. In the space of a few hours my entire life changed. I couldn’t hide behind my mediocrity anymore. I became the notorious “murder girl."

I don’t really know what happened, not the details anyway. I’ll remember that night until I die my final death, but most of it happened without me even realising. Some of the people I loved the most in the world had their lives snuffed out that night. Some moments are clearer than others. The important ones seem to have faded or been twisted over time by frequent press questioning. It’s the insignificant parts which seem to have stuck with me ever since.

It didn’t seem like a special day, although it never does until something extraordinary comes along. It was a Saturday so my Auntie Penny and my cousins, Freddy and Archie, came to visit us for dinner. It wasn’t unusual to have people visiting my house. My mother couldn’t communicate with her children but she was a gifted hostess and my home was a conveyer belt of dinner party guests. Penny and the boys stayed late into the night and my mother entertained them with her usual flair. Michael went for a clandestine meeting with his girlfriend. They were locked in a passionate farewell romance before he deployed, and it took up most of his waking moments.

Beth and I were sent outside to play in the garden. I loved our garden. Our house was modest but the garden stretched on for what seemed like miles in my childlike view of the world. It was filled with lush green grass and colourful plants. It seemed like paradise to me. There was a small fence which marked the end of our expansive lawn, showing a clear divide between our property and the forest it backed on to. I rarely went in the woods as I was forbidden from going alone. It wasn’t dangerous as far as I knew but it covered enormous ground and my mother was afraid she’d lose me amongst the towering trees.

Beth didn’t want to play. No surprise there. She had been my best friend as a child, and I think she remained so right until her death. We shared a room until I was 6 and then we moved to a house with separate rooms, but she still chose the bedroom right next to mine so that we could lean out of our adjacent windows to talk.

As we grew older we naturally drifted apart. She was keen to get more male friends and I was a hindrance to her. When we were at home things were different, and she would be kind to me. She was the most wonderful friend I could wish for, tucking me in to bed and brushing my hair before I slept, but when she had the possibility of advancing her own interests she would abandon me without a second thought.

That night she was texting a boy she liked. I asked her to play with me but she pushed me away and told me to amuse myself instead. I didn’t mind. I started running around the huge grassy lawn, keeping an eye on my sister’s serious expression. In the middle of my aimless movements I glimpsed something from the corner of my eye. Something was glimmering like a mirror caught in the sun, somewhere in the forest. I looked at Beth but she was too busy thinking of a witty comment for her latest fling. I decided for once to be big and brave and go on my own.

“Beth, I’m going to play at the bottom of the garden” I told her. She nodded and mumbled something but I was already on my way to this shining object.

I was like a magpie as a child, constantly distracted by things that glittered, and this seemed like a wonderful find. As I approached the glimmer it began to move, creeping forward to meet me. I stopped halfway down the garden path, terrified to go any further.  I looked right at the object and suddenly it rose up and opened its eyes. It was a person, unlike anyone I had ever seen before.

His sharp eyes locked onto my own innocent ones and I was filled with a strange sensation. My mind began to whirl and for a second an image flashed into my head. In my mind I saw this mysterious figure standing with a young woman. He was listening to her heart beating. My own heart began to race and I knew I should have turned back to the house. Unfortunately I was stuck to the spot, glued to the stranger’s eyes. I saw his lips curl upwards but just then-

“Louisa.” My sister shrieked from the front step. “It’s getting dark. Mum says we have to go inside.”

My bizarre exchange with this figure was broken, and it disappeared from my sight. I was terrified by what I had just experienced. I wasn’t even sure if it had really happened. Maybe it was just my imagination playing tricks on me.

“Louisa.” Someone called from the steps with anger in their voice. It was my mother. She had realised that Michael had gone to visit his girlfriend, a girl my mother found to be unworthy of his affection, and she was taking her rage out on me.

I knew that tone of voice and I didn’t want to cross her when she was in the grip of motherly anger. I pulled myself away from the forest and ran quickly up the path, sneaking a few glances over my shoulder as I ran. I spent the rest of the night on my own, quietly reflecting over my exchange with the beautiful figure in the garden. I had mixed emotions about the whole affair right from day one. I didn’t know whether to be excited at my unique experience, or whether to lock my windows at night to stop an unwelcoming intruder. All I knew was I had to see that person again, no matter what.

I was back in those forests now, running after Gabriel. As I grew older and became independent the forest stopped being my enemy and became my friend. I would run through the forest every morning for exercise and, if Gabriel hadn’t visited me in a while, I would go there in the vain hope that I might see him prowling.

In my vampiric state I saw these familiar trees in a new way. I felt connected to them and to the tiny animals that lived amongst them. I was connected to the earth and the wind whipping through the branches. I may have died but I felt alive for the first time in years as the natural energy of the woods flowed through me.

I laughed softly to myself and stopped running. Gabriel was in front of me, leaning against a tree. My love was ignited and I saw the beautiful side of him again. He had a determined look in his eyes, like the one he’d adopted just before killing me.

“This will be your first hunt” he said, sounding like a lecturer talking to a student.

“Yes, sir” I murmured and for a moment he smiled, relaxing the situation.

“You have a choice to make. I don’t mean to scare you on your first night but I’m sure you know the stories of vampires choosing to live on animal blood over humans. It does happen. It’s become more popular over the years, probably just some of our kind living up to human expectations. It’s not common, but you need to be fully aware. If you choose to live on animal blood it will be difficult. You’ll be like a teetotal living next to a brewery.” He lectured.

I opened my mouth to say something but he shot me a warning look and I decided to keep my questions to myself.

“Others, however, choose the human diet. Vampires are designed to hunt, kill and devour humans. It’s our nature. Obviously it is risky to pick off humans but once you’ve tasted real blood, you can’t move on. You, and I, and all our kind, have no conscience. We feel no guilt for our crimes. Right now you still have enough humanity left to make the choice. If we leave it any longer you will be led by your blood lust. Choose carefully."

He left his sermon to hang in the air for a moment. I had no idea what to pick. I had never really discussed this aspect of vampirism with him before. As a human it had always made me feel uncomfortable discussing his feeding habits.

“I hate to pile this up on you now but if you choose human you will remain on that path forever. If you choose animal you will not be as well nourished but you will be free to choose when you eat.” He stopped and relaxed slightly. I took this as a sign that the teacher was finished and I was now expected to make my decision known.

I had no idea what to do. I had expected to be turned and to have a burning thirst for human blood but I hadn’t felt it yet. I knew I was weak- strong for a human but feeble for a vampire-but I didn’t want to rush out and murder my next door neighbour without thinking it through.

After a moment of contemplation, I finally spoke. “We never really talked about this. What do you do?” I stuttered awkwardly.

Gabriel sighed. He was about to start his answer but I cut him off before he could say a word.

“I know, I know. I should pick for myself, it doesn’t matter what you say, blah blah blah. Well, it matters to me Gabe. You said you had to teach me and how else will I learn if you don’t tell me things?”

I’d obviously phrased my speech well because I could see him struggling to come up with an argument. Score one to the new kid. He was grinding his teeth together and avoiding my gaze. I heaved a sigh and stormed away from him.

“Fine” I called over my shoulder. “I’ll just-oh god.” He had jumped in front of me without me even realising. His speed impressed me and I couldn’t wait till the day I was at his level.

“I feed on humans.” He said. I had guessed that. Although we never spoke about it I had always assumed. “I feed on humans but I never do it in this town. Usually not anywhere near here if I can help it, just to protect you from being linked to anything I’ve done, but yes I chose humans when I was changed and I can’t change my mind. I’m hooked.”

He said this with a melancholy smile and for a moment I was unsure of the truth behind the predatory vibe he exuded. I knew my choice though. I had always been so cautious during my first life, never daring to do anything that might lead to danger. I never drew attention to myself in any way. Now was the time to change all that.

“I choose human.”

**

Vampires are designed to kill humans and feast on their blood. Over the centuries they have been the bringers of death, the harbingers of doom. When they were first uncovered by the mortals they would strike terror in their hearts. Innocent people would die and their corpses would be staked just to prevent the chance they might arise as a creature of the night.

Over the centuries human beings progressed: they invented medicines to lengthen life and technology that could revolutionize the world. As they grew smarter they became cocky. They knew they were powerful and so nothing, not even death itself, scared them. Stories of the bringers of death who swooped in and devoured every man, woman and child in a household faded away.

Eventually they resurfaced in the twentieth and twenty-first century but they were no longer figures of fear. People dismissed them out of hand and moved them to the land of myths and legends. They couldn’t possibly be real, people thought. Any tales of vampires that were told took on a certain mystical quality. Books were written placing a human in the loving care of a vampire. These vampires had souls and a conscience. They loved humans and fed on animals to stop themselves from committing unspeakable crimes.

The true nature of the vampire is nothing to be proud of. Vampires will always kill, even the ones who dedicate themselves to a life of feeding only on animals. One day they will slip up and the nearest human will die. They are not admirable figures who are designed to be adored. They are dangerous predators, killers, hunters. They are everything that should be feared and the biggest mistake a human can ever make is to believe that they don’t have power. I knew now that I had joined the ranks of something monumental. No longer did I have a morbid desire to find out what life was like on the other side of the mortal path. I was living it.

The first kill always solidifies the monster inside the vampire. When humans are transformed into vampires they possess enormous strength and power. They can move faster than they ever thought and even though they may look the same they have a hypnotic power which can transfix any mortal. Despite all that, they aren’t fully transformed.

When a human being gets the first taste of the blood of another, when they take that first life, that is when they truly transform. Until the first kill they are just a powerful creature somewhere in the limbo between mortal and immortal, but after they sink their fangs into the jugular of an innocent victim they truly change. They accept the beast within them. Until this point I was just an enhanced version of myself.

Gabriel began to run through the forest at break neck speed. I followed him the best I could but keeping up with such experience was difficult. Running in the woods at high speed would once have been a difficult task for me, with tripping up, grazed knees and scratches from loose branches. Now the branches didn’t even touch me. I could hear the scurrying creatures on the forest floor running out of our path, sensing the death that dripped from every inch of our unusual bodies. We left them to carry on with their foraging in peace as we ran through the trees in search of much bigger prey.