The Education of Sebastian (46 page)

Sebastian was on his feet in seconds.

“Don’t you dare talk about her like that! You’re so fucking wrong! You think everyone is like you, but they’re not! You think it’s a secret that you’ve been fucking that little nurse all those nights you’ve been working late,
Dad
? You’re just a fucking joke and you don’t even see it!”

Donald hit him so hard that Sebastian flailed across the room and crashed to the floor. He struggled to his feet, blood pouring from his nose and launched himself at his father.

Ches and Mitch ran forward trying to pull him off. Sebastian had got in several good body blows before they peeled him away. He was incoherent with rage, shouting and swearing at his father.

Donald rubbed his ribs, and seemed to grow calmer as Sebastian’s fury increased.

“Sebastian!” I breathed. “Don’t, please.”

He turned and stared at me and his face softened. His body went limp but Mitch and Ches hung onto him.

“Tesoro, please!”

I reached out for him and he stretched his hand towards me. Cautiously, Mitch let him go and nodded at Ches for him to do the same.

Sebastian swept me into his arms and pulled me to his chest.

“Don’t listen to that fucking asshole, Caro,” he mumbled, his blooded nose making his voice thick. “He’s nothing. Nothing.”

“Is that right?” said Donald, nastily. “I’ve supplied your life with everything you’ve got: the clothes on your back, the roof over your fucking head! I’m the poor sucker who has a half-wit for a son, but that’s the point, isn’t it? You’re still
my son
– and that whore of yours has been fucking an underage boy. All I have to do is call the police and that bitch will be in jail so fast, she won’t have time to say a prayer.”

There was a horrified silence and I closed my eyes, fear and disgust burning through me.

“Hey, come on, man,” said Mitch quietly. “There’s no need for that.”

“No, indeed,” said Donna, sounding appalled. “There’s no need to involve the police. I’m sure we can sort this out without resorting to anything so… so serious.”

But Donald was too far gone in his anger and hatred to listen. Or maybe he was finally saying what he’d come to say, to find another way to bully and belittle his son, to control him.

“And you know what?” he said, viciously, “She
will
get jail time – I’ll see to that. Corrupting a minor at
her
age: that’s not a misdemeanor, it’s a felony. She’s been plying him with alcohol, too, did you know that? And when she finally gets out of jail, after being finger-fucked by every hairy-assed lesbian in the slammer, she’ll have a reputation as a pedophile. Try getting a job with
that
tag around you, bitch! I’m going to make you fucking pay.”

The whole world came crashing down. All my worst nightmares coming true in one foul-mouthed rant from an evil man who had bullied and beaten up on his son for years.

Sebastian’s face was chalky white under his tan.

“You can’t do that!” he whispered.

“Just watch him!” sneered Estelle, her eyes glittering. “Your little whore of a girlfriend will get what she deserves.”

I hung my head, unable to shake off the weight of her despising words.

“Just because you hate me,” said Sebastian, his voice tight with emotion, “there’s no need to take it out on her.”

He wiped the blood from his face with his jacket sleeve

“Oh, listen to you!” spat Estelle. “Do you think you’re some sort of white knight who can charge in and save the day? You’re so pathetic! You ruined my life from the day you were born, mewling and puking, always hanging around my neck, a pathetic child! You don’t know anything!”

Shirley gasped and Mitch grabbed her arm; Donna was pale with shock and anger, the horror of Estelle’s admission washing over them both.

“I’m not a child!” yelled Sebastian. “I’ve been looking after myself since I was eight years old because
you
were too drunk to look after your own kid. How many times did I have to help you up the stairs because you were too shit-faced to walk,
mommy
? How many times did strangers drop you at the door because you couldn’t even manage to call a cab? And as for
my
father
, you’re just a fucking joke. Everyone here knows that you’re just a pathetic hole-chaser with an alcoholic slut for a wife.
Caro is the best thing that ever happened to me. We’re going away together and you’ll never see us again.”

Sebastian stared at his parents triumphantly. Estelle looked winded and turned to Donald.

“No, you’re not,” said Sebastian’s father, with chilly finality. “You’re not going anywhere with that whore.”

“You’ve said that enough times now, buddy,” Mitch interrupted with a warning tone. “No need to say it again. And you reel it in, too, Seb.”

“Butt out,
Sergeant
!” snarled Donald. “This has fuck-all to do with you. It’s hanging around with your loser family that started all this in the first place. He’s
my
son and what I say goes. So listen good,
boy
: if you go anywhere near that bitch, I’ll call the police and she’ll be finished.”

Sebastian tried to throw himself at Donald but Mitch and Ches held his wrists and Shirley wrapped her arms around his waist trying to calm him down.

Donna gasped. “Donald, no! Think of the scandal!”

Donald smiled and turned to me.

“If you contact
my son
in any way: email, text, phone, letter, flying fucking carrier pigeon, we’ll prosecute. It’s a felony: you’ll go to prison. At the very least, you’ll be on the sex offender’s register for the rest of your fucking life – you’ll never work again. And the same goes for that fucking asshole of a son of mine if he tries to contact you.” He turned his eyes back to Sebastian. “Ever.”

Sebastian was yelling obscenities, trying to get to his father; Mitch, Shirley and Ches were desperately holding him back.

“And as for you,
son
,” Donald continued, “you can kiss goodbye to any idea about going to college; I’m not wasting another penny on you. But I’ll tell you what you will do: as soon as you turn 18 you’ll be enlisting. Do it, or your bitch will be facing jail time.”

I was still sitting on the couch, white-faced and shocked, barely able to take it in.

Donna spoke in a shaky voice.

“Donald, really! There’s no need for this. Surely if Caroline promises to leave quietly, we need say no more about it. Sebastian will be 18 in a few months and…”

“You’re such a fucking hypocrite, Donna. You’d really do anything for the reputation of this shit-hole of a Base, wouldn’t you?”

Donna’s mouth opened and closed several times but she seemed unable to speak again.

“And another thing, you fucking whore,” said Donald, glaring at me again. “The statute of limitations is three years:
three years
. You come anywhere near my son in that time and you know what will happen to you. Same goes if he contacts you.
I’ll know!
If you’re so much as in the same
state
I’ll make sure you get what’s coming to you.”

Three years. Oh, God.

I turned to Sebastian, love and loss filling me as my eyes started to blur with tears.

“Don’t listen to him, Caro!” gasped Sebastian, desperately. “He won’t do it, he won’t! He doesn’t care enough about me to bother. Don’t listen to him!”

“You’re right, you little shit,” smirked Donald, rubbing his ribs again. “I don’t give a damn about you, but believe me, it would give me a great deal of pleasure to send your little bitch to jail, if only to wipe that smug look off your fucking face.”

Shirley gasped and Donna looked disgusted.

David was lost and shattered, his gaze drifting around the room as if he couldn’t recognize anyone.

But it was Sebastian’s face that I couldn’t take my eyes off. All the fight had gone out of him and he sagged in Mitch’s arms.

I did this. I did this to him.
All my rehearsed excuses flew away: I despised myself. And it was time to let him go.

“No, Caro!” breathed Sebastian as he read the decision on my face. “Don’t let him win.”

Like a sleepwalker rising to Judgment Day, I stood.

Mitch dropped his hands, releasing him, and Sebastian was in my arms for one last time. He held onto me so tightly I could hardly breathe, burying his face in my hair.

“I have to go now, tesoro,” I said softly, stroking his neck.

His grip tightened around me. “No!” he gasped as if he was in great pain.

“Yes. Sebastian, listen to me. I want you to have a good life, tesoro, a big life. I want you to be happy, to fall in love…”

“No, God, no, Caro! Don’t say that!”

“Yes! Do it for me.”

“I’ll always love you, Caro. Don’t give up on us. Please don’t give up. I’ll wait for you. It’s only three years. I love you!”

But it wasn’t just three years, was it? I knew that now.

“I love you, too,” I whispered so softly I didn’t know if he’d heard me. “Ti amo tanto, Sebastian, sempre e per sempre.”

I tried to peel his hands away from my body but he wouldn’t let go.

“No!” he cried over and over again. “No!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” snarled Donald in disgust.

Somehow Mitch and Ches managed to pull Sebastian off; he tried to fight them but his spirit was broken.

I turned to Shirley and Donna, their faces filled with pity.

“Look after him,” I said softly. “Ches, I… just be his friend.”

Ches nodded, unable to speak.

“Oh my dear, dear child,” said Donna, tears in her eyes.

I looked at my husband, whose silence was more eloquent than a thousand words.

“Goodbye, David,” I whispered. “I’m sorry…”

He stared at me blankly, then dropped his head into his hands.

I turned to go, my eyes sweeping over Estelle’s malice, David’s bewilderment, Donald’s triumph, the sadness in the expressions of Donna and Shirley, and the anger darkening the faces of Ches and Mitch.

Then my eyes rested on the man I loved; the man I vowed I would never see again because he’d been hurt enough – by me.

“Caro, no!” he cried again, tears falling down his face, mingling with the blood.

“I love you, Sebastian. So much, tesoro.”

And then I walked away, leaving behind all the goodness and beauty that I’d ever known in my life.

*  *  *  *

Despite what happened that day, despite what happened later, I can’t bring myself to regret the events of that summer, because Sebastian taught me how to love.

END OF PART ONE

www.harveyberrickpublishing.co.uk

ADULTS

The Education of Caroline
(published February 2013)

Jane Harvey-Berrick

Ten years after their first affair, Sebastian and Caroline meet again: this time in very different circumstances, against the background of the war in Afghanistan. Now a successful journalist, Caroline meets US Marine Sebastian Hunter – can old passions be rekindled?

e-book

ISBN 9780955315084

The concluding story of ‘The Education of Sebastian’.

www.janeharveyberrick.com

Exposure

Jane Harvey-Berrick