The Edge of the Light (20 page)

G
ertie and Giselle closed G & G's for two consecutive days during the week, so on those days Jenn pushed herself in training more than usual. She could see that she was improving her skills by working with Cynthia and Lexie. Each of them was especially encouraging when it came to an area she considered her specialty. For Lexie, it was running, and when Cynthia joined them, her job was to keep Jenn moving the ball, passing it, while dodging her attempts to snatch it away. For Cynthia, it was weight training, and Lexie spotted her while Cynthia determined how much weight Jenn should be using each time they worked out. In return, Jenn kept Cynthia on her toes as a goalie, and she timed Lexie on her runs.

On these days, Jenn didn't rush home. No matter her increased liking for Cynthia and Lexie, she still didn't want them to see where she lived. They'd both offered her rides a couple more times, but Jenn had said no. There was the general dumpiness of her family's house and the property itself, but there was also her mom's attitude. She figured her mom wouldn't ever have known or guessed about Cynthia's sexual preferences, but Kate
had already seen Lexie at G & G's, so Jenn assumed that her mom had probably drawn conclusions based on that. And one thing about Kate that had to be said: She wasn't a live-and-let-live sort of person.

Jenn was thinking about this as she descended Possession Road from where the island bus dropped her. The days were getting longer now as spring advanced, and filtered light reached fingers through the trees and dappled the road. It was a day of no breeze at all, so the birds were making a racket. Crows and gulls seemed to be competing with each other, and a flash of blue zipping by told her the jays were out and about. Purple martins were doing their warbling thing in the trees, and wherever Scotch broom had invaded, yellowthroats were making their
bizzing
sounds. It was a time of year that lifted people's spirits on the island, and Jenn's spirits were high as she made the turn down the gravel lane that led to her house.

Those spirits crashed when she saw that two cars were sitting between the house and the brew shed. One of them was the island taxi. The other was an old Ford Explorer with a Christian fish affixed to its bumper and those dad, mom, and kids stickers on the rear window. There was also a bumper sticker displaying a reference to the Bible merely by book, chapter, and verse. All this put into the same kettle told Jenn what was cooking inside the house: Her mom was home and Mr. Sawyer was paying a visit.

Jenn swore in a way that would not have pleased the minister. She glanced at the brew shed. The Rolling Stones were singing
about not always being able to get what you want. Nothing, she thought, could have been truer.

Up the front steps she went. Into the house she trudged. She figured her mom and Mr. Sawyer would be reading the Bible together or laying miracle hands on Petey and Andy to alter their generally rambunctious behavior. But it turned out that they were sitting side by side on the threadbare flowered couch in the living room.

Jenn saw that her mom was deadly pale. With her brothers not around at this time of day, she felt a little stab of fear. “What's wrong?” she asked. “What's going on? Where's Petey and—”

Mr. Sawyer spoke as he rose from the couch, saying, “Jennifer. We've been waiting for you. Please sit with us, child.”

Jenn didn't like his tone. His voice sounded like one he'd use when he thrust someone under the water to be baptized, and she especially hated his use of
child
. She went on to hate the fact that he held the Bible in one hand and extended his other hand, palm downward, as if he intended to bless the scratched-up coffee table. As soon as he started to talk, her mom started to move her lips. Jenn stayed where she was by the door. Mr. Sawyer repeated his request.

“Sit with us, child.”

“I got homework and a test to—”

“Do as he says!” Kate's voice was so sharp that it made Jenn jump.

“It's the word of God, Jennifer,” Mr. Sawyer said.

“Huh? God wants me to sit?”

“God wants you to walk away from sin,” he replied, “and Jesus His Son wants you to shun that which exposes you to the fires of hell.”

“Uh . . . okay,” Jenn said. “C'n I do my homework now?”

“Don't be smart with Reverend Sawyer,” Kate McDaniels said. “He's here to talk to you and after that, there are arrangements that need to be made.”

To this, Jenn said nothing. She shrugged out of her backpack and put it at the foot of the stairs.

Reverend Sawyer said, “Do you know what eternity is?”

“Another word for forever?”

“And do you understand that when someone is cast into the fires of hell, it is for eternity? It's torment forever with no escape, torment after you die. Torment after the Second Coming. Torment without an
until
attached to it, stretching into infinity.”

“Sort of sounds like having to be in math class,” Jenn said.

Mr. Sawyer didn't smile. Kate shot eye bullets in Jenn's direction.

Mr. Sawyer said, “When individuals engage in an act against nature, they engage in that act against God, and for this they are condemned to hell. Engaging in an act against nature is worse than the sin of knowing another outside the bonds of holy matrimony for this act is so unnatural that its bestiality creates in the eyes of Our Lord and Savior, in the eyes of His Father, and in the eyes of the Holy Spirit an abhorrence so profound that no blessing can descend upon the sinner unless there is a profound repentance. Do you know what this means?”

“Which part?” Jenn asked. “You sort of just threw a lot at me.”

“We begin with the word of God.” He gestured with the Bible. “We move from there to your baptism.”

Jenn swung to look at Kate. “I
told
you, Mom. No. Way. I said I'd go to your stupid church and I'm doing that and—”

“Don't you dare use that word to describe something you can't even begin to understand,” Kate cried.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Jenn repeated. “And I'm not letting anyone drag me into Deer Lake and dunk me in the frigging water. And
why
is this the big plan? Because I have a job in a restaurant owned by two married people who happen to be women? Because other women whose partners are women actually go there—OMG, showing themselves in
public
—and eat dinner sometimes? Well, so do a bunch of other people who are as straight as you are, Mom. Are they going to hell because they eat at G & G's or is it only the people who work there who're going to hell?”

“I'm trying to protect you.”

“Baptism is a first step,” Reverend Sawyer added. “Without baptism to wash your soul of sin, you cannot enter into God's Kingdom.”

“I don't
want
to enter God's Kingdom if it means I get to hang out with people like you!” Jenn headed for the stairs. She had homework and a test and there was
no
way she was going to listen to either of them a second longer. They'd have to tie her and gag her before she'd ever submit to being baptized.

“Jennifer McDaniels, do
not
walk away,” Kate said. “Reverend
Sawyer is talking to you, and you need to listen. There's a class on Wednesday evenings that you will have to start attending in preparation for baptism. Once you have completed that class, you
will
be baptized.”

“Like hell I will,” Jenn said. “I work on Wednesday nights and I'm gonna
keep
working on Wednesday night. Got that, Mom?”

“I can't let you burn in hell!” Kate cried. “As your mother I
must
put you on the path to heaven, Jenn. You can't see that clearly, but you will someday. And in meantime, I
can
see it, and you must understand that—”

“Shut up!” Jenn shrieked. “I'm happy like I am. Why isn't that enough? Why can't that
ever
be enough?”

“Because happiness whose source is perversion is not happiness,” Reverend Sawyer said.

“I'm
not
a pervert,” Jenn cried. “If anyone's perverted, it's the two of you!”

• • •

ALL OF THIS,
Jenn thought, merely because her mom had walked into G & G's to give her a ride home. She hadn't witnessed how hard Jenn worked to earn her money, and she sure as heck hadn't bothered to meet either Giselle or Gertie to learn exactly how much effort they were putting into their restaurant. She had merely seen some ladies having a nice time celebrating someone's birthday and some other ladies having a little anniversary dinner.
That
had been enough for Kate McDaniels. No way was her precious little Jennifer going to be exposed to such
sin. It was eternal damnation by association, Jenn thought. She was so furious at the end of the encounter with her mom and Mr. Sawyer that she stayed furious all night and was still furious when she got off the school bus the next morning.

Things got worse for her immediately.

There was a large newly placed banner over the front doors of South Whidbey High School. It was done in the hues of the rainbow and, like the steam punk posters, it advertised the prom. Beneath these words,
RAINBOW PROM
,
was the relevant date. And beneath the banner itself stood Squat Cooper and two other boys.

Squat saw her as Jenn approached. He said something to the other two, and they slouched off. Jenn took note of their stupid jeans hanging low on their crotches. At least, she thought, Squat had never adopted that totally ridiculous and utterly hideous fashion statement. At least, she thought, he knew that having to look at some dude's underwear was not the thrill a girl was seeking.

“How can you stand to hang with those creeps?” Jenn asked him.

He looked startled, both at her words and her tone. “Did someone rise from the wrong side of the bed this morning?” he asked. “That's Brent and Haydn, by the way. We've been in school with them for something like thirteen years, counting preschool.”

“Well, they've turned into lowlifes.”

“Lowlifes with brains. Hmmm. I didn't think one qualified for lowlife-dom if one's GPA topped three point five.”

“Those two don't have a
combined
GPA of three point five.”

Squat seemed to study her before he said, “Have we taken to judging based on appearances?”

“I don't know, Squat,
have
we? Aren't you the person who told me I'd be judged by the company I'm keeping?”

“Since you're keeping company with me at the moment, you have nothing to fear,” was his reply. “On the other hand . . .” He gave a glance at the banner above them. “I would suggest a wider berth might be in order . . . ?”

“
Would
you? Why would that be? 'Cause I like a couple of lesbians? Or 'cause unlike you, I don't judge people?”

“Didn't you just judge Brent and Haydn?” Squat asked. “Or was that someone else? Because as I recall our conversation so far—”

“Oh shut up! Stop talking like some stupid professor. Act real for once if you possibly can.”

His eyes grew darker as did his face. He said, “Seriously? What's crawled up
your
butt, Jenn?”

“You, at the moment,” Jenn snarled. “Do me a favor and crawl out, okay?”

• • •

SHE HAD TO
get away from everyone, but the only person she could realistically get away from was her mom. Both of them, she figured, needed time to cool off. Her mom, especially, needed to know that she couldn't bend Jenn to her will as long as her will involved baptism classes that took place on one of her work
nights followed by some gruesome ceremony during which she was expected to wade into Deer Lake in order to have a chance of someday speaking gibberish. As long as she stayed at home, this was what she faced, though. She knew that Kate wasn't going to cease and desist until Jenn was guaranteed entrance through the Pearly Gates.

She brought this up with Becca after lunch. She began by bringing her into the picture about Mr. Sawyer's visit and about the plan he and Kate had devised to save Jenn's soul. She finished up with the only solution she could come up with to bring her mother to reason. She needed to get herself out of the house so that Kate could see how determined Jenn was not to be forced into something against her will.

She said to Becca, “C'n I stay at Mr. Darrow's place? It would just be for a few nights. Maybe only two, even. I figure if I don't go home and if my mom has to worry about where I am, maybe it'll be more important to her that I'm alive than that I'm baptized into that bizzaro church of hers.”

Becca was quiet. Occasionally, she had a super unnerving way of looking at people and she was doing that now. It was like . . . Jenn wasn't sure what it was like other than that it seemed as if Becca didn't believe her.