The Duke's Bride (6 page)

It was too bad his mind wasn’t exercising some of that
fairness now.

The knock on the connecting door made her flinch. “Jane?”

Her heart fluttered against her chest. Roderick. He had not
entered her chambers since she had lost the baby. Perhaps he had thought things
over. Perhaps he had never stopped loving her at all.

She swallowed against the anxiety building in her throat as
she patted her cheeks and tucked in her hair. “Come in.”

He stepped into the room, looking quite handsome in his gray
jacket and pantaloons. “You look a bit fatigued,” he said, his lips dipping in
concern. “Are you certain you want to attend Lady Paxton’s Ball tonight?”

His blue-black hair, his silver eyes, his tall, muscular physique,
took her breath away. But it had always been his voice that captured her
attention first. That deep velvety tone still seemed to turn her knees to
jelly.

His boots clacked against the floor as he walked to her
side. Wide, powerful shoulders hovered over her as she gazed into her looking
glass. The scent of bayberry lifted in the air. Her heart skipped a beat as she
smiled and innocently pulled at one of her curls. “Why would I not want to
attend?”

His black brows knitted into a frown. “I had thought our staying
in Bath would offer you a place to heal.” He cleared his throat as he eyes
strayed over her, landing on her chest and midriff area. “But it seems to have
aggravated it. Do you think it wise to stay out late tonight?”

Her heart hummed with hope. Perhaps he would want to stay
home with her. She wasn’t known as a muddle-headed miss, and never had been.
But her husband could turn her into a puddle at his feet.

She turned and gave him her best smile. “Do you wish to stay
in?” she asked suggestively. “Perhaps, just the two of us? There is something I
would like to talk to you about.”

Yes, this was a good time to tell him about the baby. He had
to listen to her if they were in the same room for a time. There were other
things about her condition that she hadn’t even told Agatha or Emily. Things
she had done that Roderick might not agree with. Things she had to keep doing.
But if she told him, he might forbid her from continuing her treatments. That’s
why she hesitated telling him anything about their child. What a sad state of
affairs.

“No,” he finally said in a sharper tone than needed. She
blinked in dismay as he turned on his heels and walked toward the window. “If
you are up to it,” he said, clearing his throat. “I think we should give an
appearance at the ball.”

She swallowed past the pain. Oh, dear. He didn’t want to be
alone with her at all. A ball was one thing, home alone with her was quite
another.

She forced her lips to turn upwards as she gazed at his reflection
in the mirror. “Well, then, that’s settled.”

She rose, clenching her hands together. Her heart was
breaking. He was tired of her. He was too much of a gentleman to say so.
Perhaps Agatha’s speech had made him feel guilty, and he was only attending the
ball with her to show Society that he was doing his duty as a husband.

Tears jammed her throat. How droll it must be for him. But he
wasn’t heartless. He had showed true concern for her health. But did he still
love her like she loved him?

She leaned against the bedpost, confusion racking her brain.
“I am glad you will be by my side. Lady Horatio and Lady Philomena will be
there, and to tell you the truth, they make my skin crawl at the way they talk
about people.”

Roderick chuckled as he pulled the curtain aside and stared
at the gardens below. “Those two ladies don’t hold a candle to you, sweetheart.
You are everything pure and honest.”

Honest?
She put a hand to her stomach and swallowed
hard.
How honest had she been with him the past month? Not very.

 
But in truth, he had been so headstrong, she
could barely have a conversation with him before the fireworks would start. In
the past month, her confidence in sharing with him the smallest of things had
dwindled to nothing.

He turned and stared at her. The air between them crackled
with tension. Her stomach churned. He was in duke mode now. All powerful and
controlling. It had never hindered her before. But something had changed
between them the last month. In fact, she had no idea if she could have a calm
conversation with him about the baby now or any time in the future.

“Of course,” he finally said, clasping his hands behind his back.
“If you give those gossipmongers something to talk about, you may as well not
go. Paying attention to Captain Argyle doesn’t help matters, you know.”

She blinked in surprise. “Captain Argyle?”

He strode closer. The bayberry soap teased her senses. Yesterday,
it had been sandalwood.

“I don’t care for the way the man talks to you,” he
continued, his mouth taking on a dangerous twist. “Or looks at you for that
matter. Confound it! It’s as if the man adores you. He was once my friend, but the
man has crossed the line with his recent behavior.”

Angry now, she pushed herself away from the bed. “Is it so dreadful
that someone should adore me?” Her snappish tone seemed to catch his attention.

She needed to tell him the captain was helping her, not ogling
her. But Roderick was not in a position to listen. The arrogant oaf!

Despite their differences, fire flared in his eyes. His gaze
riveted on her lips. The strain between them increased. Instantly, Jane’s body
and mind betrayed her. Her skin tingled at the very sight of this man.

Kiss me
, she wanted to say.
Love me. Hold me.
Please. Show me you love me still.

He kept staring at her, and for a moment, she saw his face
soften. Suddenly, he turned toward her bed, fiddling with the ribbons on her side
table. She could see him frowning.

Her heart seemed to stop as she watched him continue to toy
with the blue strands of silk. She remembered those powerful hands loving her,
holding her. He could be as gentle as a lamb if he wanted and strong as a lion at
other times.

She wanted that strength now. She wanted him. Needed him.
She loved him.

Without a word, he started for his door.

Shocked at his abrupt departure, she said anything that came
to mind. “Roderick, do you think this gown makes me look fat?”

He glanced over his shoulder and pulled at his cravat. Sunlight
angled across his face, making her yearn for the days when she believed he
loved her and would never stop loving her.

 “Well,” he uttered. “Uh, now that you brought the
matter up…I must say, I am rather concerned. After your, well, loss, you have
put on a few pounds. Maybe the doctor—”

Outraged, she threw her hands to her hips. First Captain
Argyle and now this! “So, you think I
am
fat?”

His face turned a deep red. “It’s not that. I was just thinking
that after…” He shrugged. “Well, you know…”

She glared at him. “After the loss of the baby. Is that what
you cannot say?”

He swallowed. “Yes, after your, uh, loss. In fact, I have
been thinking about that and thought perhaps you should speak to the doctor about
your eating habits lately.”

Eating habits, she thought sadly. “It was not just
my
loss, Roderick. You did have a hand in the process, you know.” The bitterness
of her words echoed in the air.

His expression darkened. “Don’t you think I know that? You
almost died. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“Oh, we’ve talked this to the ground. I want a baby. Can you
give us another chance? Please, Roderick, don’t push me away.”

She ran to him, pressing her head against his chest. “Oh,
please, please, love me,” she cried. She didn’t care what it took to be back in
his arms. If she had to plead with him, so be it. She needed him to love her
again.

He curled his arms around her. “Jane,” he said, his voice
cracking.

His hands ran down her back, caressing her. “Jane, Jane.”
His voice was silky and low, touching the very depths of her heart.

His heart beat against her ear, making her feel safe again.

She lifted her head, her soul bursting with love for the
only man she had ever loved. “Oh, Roderick. Kiss me.”

Two smoky gray eyes stared back at her. Hesitation lingered
in his face, but it only lasted a few seconds before she knew she had won.

 “Jane,” he said, crushing his warm lips to hers.

Her spirit soared. The very touch of him made her go weak. She
ached for this moment. His kisses moved along her cheek to behind her ear, then
down her neck. Passion flowed through her like a raging fire. Her thoughts
whirled as his hands wrapped around her waist, and he lifted her closer. His
hunger for her sent a surge of heat flowing through her veins.

Her arms tightened about his neck, and her heart sang with
happiness.

“Oh, Roderick,” she purred. “I have missed you so.” She
leaned back and cupped his face with her hands. “Don’t ever leave me again,”
she said breathlessly. “Promise me, you will always love me.”

Their eyes met, and unexpectedly those beautiful pools of
liquid silver changed to an ominous black. In a matter of seconds, the
temperature in the room seemed to drop about fifty degrees. She felt her toes
curl in dread when his entire expression turned to ice. A cold chill ran
through her.

“Roderick?” she asked, frowning, touching his cheek.

He flinched and stepped back. Her heart shattered. What had
just happened?

She stumbled back, her happiness dying like a rose in
winter. A wave of heat rushed through her. She could not believe she had begged
him to love her. The man was throwing her love back in her face.

A second later, she lifted her chin, hiding her hurt. She
may be wilting inside, but she would not give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

 “I will make one thing perfectly clear, madam.”

 “Madam?” she replied, her lips quivering into a forced
smile. “Is this some kind of jest?”

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared back at her,
his slash of black brows dipping into a deep “V”.

He looked ridiculous, she thought. It was as if he were trying
to act like a pompous duke. Well, she was going to have none of that! He could
try his haughtiness on someone else who was not his wife!

Her lungs felt as if they would burst. “What?” she asked
defiantly.

“There will no longer be any more attempts at having a baby.
Do you understand?”

A bubble of hysteria rose in her throat. Little did he know
that any attempts at having a baby would not have to be made now. There was a
baby!

“And why is that?” she snapped.” Is it because you have
grown tired of me? Or is it because you don’t want your pride hurt? Oh, wait! Is
it because you have someone else waiting in the wings? Or do you still love
Cecile? Oh, yes. Do not think I didn’t hear you talking about her. I always
wondered if there was someone else.”

His jaw clenched, and she thought she detected a flash of
pain crossing his face. “Devil take it, you are my wife! Will always be my wife!”

So, she thought sadly, he had loved the lady after all. Her
hope died along with her heart.

She straightened her bodice and skirt, as if their kissing
had no effect on her at all. “Ah, well, let me set you straight on that little
fact. I may be your wife, but you, in essence, are no longer the husband I
married. I will see you at the ball, Your Grace. I will be leaving with Emily
and Jared.”

His face turned dark, but she refused to let him have the
last word.

“Of course, Agatha will be with us as well,” she said,
letting her blue eyes slice through his battle hard stance. “But you, Your
Grace, may go alone! Or better yet, you may go...well, you know exactly where
you may go!”

And with a swish of skirts, she fled past him, and left her
bedchambers, slamming the door in her wake.

“
O
h, hello, Uncle Dukie!”

Roderick stopped in the hall at the sound of Gabby’s voice
in the drawing room. He turned and peered inside at the sight of his niece
dressed in a beautiful lavender silk gown belonging to her mother. Although his
emotions were still in turmoil after his encounter with Jane a few hours ago,
he found his lips tipping into a smile. The little girl was wearing one of
Emily’s best gowns. His sister had worn it to the last soiree at Brighton to
see the prince, who was now the king.

He swallowed a chuckle as he strode into the room. Emily
would be livid. Gabby knew no bounds. “Hello, princess.”

The little girl smiled, her blond ringlets bouncing over her
blue eyes. “Shhh.” She crooked her finger toward him. “Mama and Papa are
looking for me and Richard.” She pointed to her younger brother who was fast
asleep on the sofa.

Roderick pursed his lips, trying to keep the smile from his
eyes. How old was the boy now? Three? Four?

 “You are in hiding then?” Roderick asked calmly.

“Well, yes and no.” She grabbed her cat, a skinny black and
tan feline that  looked back at him with big green eyes. “Mr. Picklehammer
and I wanted to have a tea party, but Mama said it was too late and we had to
go to bed. Do you know, I like parties?” She lowered her voice into a mere
whisper. “But they think we are upstairs.”

Roderick wanted to laugh every time he heard the cat’s name.
The child had rescued the animal from a garbage pile only yesterday. “And where
is your Nanna?”

The cat hissed, and Roderick stepped back. Thunderation, the
cat was a tiger.

Ignoring her pet, Gabby grabbed a silver tea tray and nodded
for Roderick to sit across from her. “Nanna is ill. Sit down. I shall have your
tea in a minute. Oh, la, I see you have dressed for the occai…occais…”

“Occasion,” Roderick chuckled. He was clad in his black
jacket, ruffled white shirt, starched cravat, bottle green waistcoat, dark
pantaloons, and low pump shoes. He pulled out his pocket watch. “I have no time
for tea, princess. I am off to a ball.”

She tilted her head and stared at him, her blue eyes narrowing
into a rather familiar lady-like glare. “You have time for one drink. And that
is all there is to it.”

Roderick blinked. By Jove, his niece was sounding more like
Emily every day. “Very well. Only a sip, mind you. I must not be late. Five
minutes and that’s all.”

Gabby giggled, putting a finger to her lips. “Shhh, we do
not want to wake little Richard. I think he drank too much tea. Mama won’t like
that. Sometimes he wets the bed.”

Roderick looked toward the door, then back to the little
girl. “Ah, very well, then, I will take a dollop of milk and lemon, if you
please.”

Gabby smiled from ear to ear. She put Mr. Picklehammer on
the seat beside her and turned back to him. “Of course, Your Grace. A spoonful
of milk and lemon.”

Roderick watched in awe as the little girl tipped the silver
teapot and out came a clear yellow liquid that looked like lemonade.

She peered up at him, her cheeks pink. “This tea has a bit
more lemon than what you like. I, um, hope you don’t mind.” The seriousness of
her tone caught Roderick off guard.

He swallowed, holding back another laugh. “Don’t mind at
all. In fact, lemon tea is my favorite.”

Her beaming smile touched his heart. “Very well then,” she
said all prim and proper. “Raise your pinky like this when you drink.”

Roderick blinked and did as he was told. He let out a
bittersweet smile, all the time wondering if the babies he and Jane had lost
were girls. He would have loved a daughter just like Gabby. Were they in heaven
now looking down at him?

Enough, he thought angrily. If he kept thinking with his
heart and not his brain, he could destroy the most precious thing to him in the
entire world.

He gripped the teacup so tightly it slipped from his hand.

Gabby looked up, scowling. “That could happen when you are
taking tea with the king and you would be very em...embarr…”

“Embarrassed,” he said for her.

“That’s it,” she said smiling. “Did you know that God
doesn’t get embarrassed?”

“I suppose He doesn’t.”

Roderick smiled back, wondering if God was listening to this
silly conversation.

He pondered the thought and decided a simple prayer couldn’t
hurt.
Lord,
I don’t understand everything You do, but if You could
keep Jane safe—

 
“It looks like you had an accident,” Gabby cried.

He dropped his gaze and scowled. His pants were spotted with
lemonade from his tipped teacup.

Gabby sighed. “It’s quite all right. Go upstairs and change
your clothes. Everything will be fine. I won’t tell anyone, not even Richard.”
Gabby shooed him away. “Go. Go.”

Roderick stood and started upstairs. Hell’s bells, the girl
was sounding like her mother every day.

Cold air swirled inside the coach, sending a shiver down
Jane’s spine as she sat beside Agatha while they waited for Emily and Jared to
join them for the drive to the Paxton Ball. It seemed the earl and his wife were
having a bit of trouble with their children. The nanny was ill, and instead of
finding their children sleeping in the nursery, they had discovered Gabby, clad
in one of Emily’s favorite gowns, downstairs, having a tea party with her
brother and Mr. Picklehammer.

Jane felt her heart squeeze. If children and tea parties were
her only worry, she would be delighted.

With a shudder, she drew a silver shawl around her shoulders,
then proceeded to unfold the napkin resting in her lap and pop a small lemon cake
into her mouth. The sweet taste seemed to soothe her. The past month, she found
she had to eat more between meals to fill her hunger.

She gazed at her gown and frowned. The dressmaker had said the
sky blue had matched her eyes, and that no man would be able to resist her when
she put it on, especially her husband. How wrong she was!

But it mattered not. Jane was so furious with Roderick right
now, she didn’t want to have a thing to do with him!

 “I think we smell wonderful,” Agatha announced, her
voice quite cheerful. “Don’t you think so, my dear?”

Jane chuckled. The scent of French perfume permeated the air.
“I believe we smell delicious.”

Agatha had brought the expensive fragrance home from her
travels, and at the lady’s insistence, they both had dabbed a drop or two behind
their ears.

Agatha let out a childish giggle. “I hear it’s a love
potion. However, I doubt I shall lure anyone into a corner for a kiss. But I must
say, I do enjoy the smell.”

A love potion?
Jane thought she could use something
like that right now. That is, if she weren’t so upset with her husband.

She let out a shaky smile and stared into the night. A full
moon hung in the sky, lighting the streets. Shadows fell along the walks. The
carriage lanterns added to the eerie effect.

“Oh, Agatha,” she sighed. “I don’t think he loves me
anymore.”

Agatha took her arm. “What’s this? Of course Roderick loves
you.”

“But I’m fat,” she whispered. “Roderick thinks so, and he
believes I should see a doctor about my eating habits.”

“Humph! That’s ridiculous. A mother with child always eats odd
things at odd times. Oh, Jane, you didn’t tell him about the baby, did you?”

“No.” Her voice cracked. “You don’t understand. Roderick
doesn’t love me anymore. How could I tell him about the baby when he feels like
that?”

“Pish posh. That man adores you, and everyone knows it.”

Jane couldn’t deny the facts any longer. After the loss of
the last baby, nothing had ever been the same. A sharp pain pierced her heart
when she thought about Roderick’s chilling words in her bedchambers.

“You’re wrong,” she said softly, not able to look at Agatha.
“You heard how he keeps his distance from me. Ask anyone at the ball.” She
managed a bitter laugh. “And you heard the ladies in the Pump Room today. They know
all is not right with my marriage. I can no longer hide it.”

Agatha straightened and grabbed her parasol. “La, I have
been out of the country too long! I should have boxed Roderick’s ears when I
saw him earlier.”

Jane let out a sad chuckle and rested her head on Agatha’s
shoulder. “I do love you so.”

The parasol struck the floor. “How dare Roderick scold you
for being fat! You are with child. The addlepated ninny should have figured
that out, even if you did not tell him.”

Jane looked up and smiled. “It’s not that simple.”

 Another thwack. “Confound that man! I shall have more
than a word with him, duke or not.”

“He doesn’t love me anymore,” she repeated to Agatha, as her
mind tried to come to terms with her situation. “That’s the plain truth of the
matter.”

Agatha’s parasol slapped the side of the carriage. “If
that’s true, I’m Napoleon Bonaparte!”

Jane frowned. “You must promise me you won’t speak of our
conversation to Roderick. Not of the baby or anything.”

Agatha’s lips thinned. “It sounds like trouble.”

“Agatha?”

“Oh, very well. But as long as I mentioned trouble, I must
ask you about Captain Argyle. Your friendship with the man has obviously
started rumors.”

Jane gasped in outrage. “Captain—”

Agatha put up her hand. “Now, now, hear me out. Because of
those rumors, Roderick’s friendship with the man is no longer. I am only saying
this for your own good. Perhaps it would be best if you stay away from the
captain…just for appearance sake, my dear.” Agatha sighed. “ I hate to say it,
but men are fickle creatures when it comes to their women.”

Jane pinched her lips, trying to hold back her anger. “I
will not cut ties with him.” She put a protective hand to her stomach. “Captain
Argyle has saved this baby. He is everything good. I have no designs on him,
and that is that!”

Agatha’s eyes widened. “Good gracious! Saved the baby? Well,
now, my dear, that is something you will definitely need to explain. To me and
to Roderick.”

Jane shrugged, turning her gaze back to the window. “After I
lost the baby last month, I realized something was not quite right. When the
doctor returned a few days later to check on me, he was quite startled to
realize I was still carrying a child. The twin I told you about.”

“And why was Roderick not told of this right away?” Agatha
asked in an aggravated tone.

Jane clasped her hands together. “The doctor was going on
tour with Lord Bashford’s son. They left the country the very next day.”

“That still does not answer my question.”

Jane sighed, shifting a guilty gaze back toward Agatha. “The
doctor assumed Roderick knew. Everything happened so fast. Besides, I was going
to tell Roderick the news. But when I overheard one of the maids talking about
her megrims that were cured by one of Captain Argyle’s servants, I hesitated.”

Agatha tapped her parasol lightly against the seat. “I fail
to see the direction of this conversation, Jane.”

“The point is, the captain’s servant was educated in a
different type of medicine that comes from China.”

Agatha looked on impatiently. “And?”

“Well,” Jane continued. “After a few questions, I discovered
the servant used herbs and other treatments for many other ailments. In fact,
it seems that some of the servants from many of the surrounding households use
her instead of a doctor.”

Agatha gasped. “Do not tell me you have been using the
captain’s servant instead of a doctor?”

Jane shrugged. “A different doctor has been coming to the
house too. The man believes Roderick knows about the baby, and I have not
corrected him. If future conversations arise with Roderick and him, I have
asked the doctor to keep quiet about the situation because of our painful past
with the other babies.”

She bit her bottom lip, knowing she had not been quite
honest with either her husband or the doctor. But she had her reasons. Her baby
came first. “So yes, Roderick knows a doctor comes to see me now and then,” she
added, coloring.

“Good gracious,” Agatha muttered. “You are in essence
telling me that Roderick believes the doctor is visiting for your health, but has
no idea the man is there because of the baby?”

“Exactly,” Jane said with a heartfelt sigh. “It is quite a
mess, I daresay.”

Agatha stared at the front door of the Bath home, as if
bracing herself for Roderick to come storming outside, demanding an
explanation.

Frowning, Agatha turned back to Jane. “You are walking a
fine line, my dear. Sooner or later, one of those men will figure it out.
Besides, what would the captain’s servant know about delivering a baby?
Goodness, she is just hired help! What is her education? Can she even read? Oh,
mercy, I cannot believe this. This vexes me to no end. No end, I tell you.”

Jane grabbed Agatha’s hands in a comforting hold. “Now,
dearest, you must not fret. Mrs. Hobbs is married and has three children of her
own. She lived in China for many years.”

“I have heard about such things, but it doesn’t mean I like
it.”

“Chinese Medicine is not new. They have been practicing it
on the other side of the world for thousands of years. There are herbs and
other treatments that help certain conditions. I don’t understand it all. But
Mrs. Hobbs has helped many babies come into this world when their mothers have
lost ones before that.”

Agatha turned red in the face. “But…well...my goodness…I
just don’t know. What if it her treatments or herbs hurt the baby? Tell me
that!”  

Jane smiled. “I trust Mrs. Hobbs. I lost too many babies
with those London doctors. I know they were doing everything in their power to
help me, but it wasn’t enough. I had a feeling this was the right thing to do. I
sought out Captain Argyle, and he has allowed Mrs. Hobbs to help me.”