The Drifter (2 page)

She could see the light breaking over the horizon and said, 'Travis, I have to get back.'

He groaned a little, but they rose and dressed, and he held her hand as they walked back home wordlessly through the fields. It seemed to both of them they had always been together and that was how it was meant to be.

As they got close to the point where houses began to grow like unwelcome extrusions in the landscape, she stopped and said. 'That was my first time.'

He seemed a little surprised, but he knew she was telling the truth and he said, 'I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.'

'It was better than I ever imagined it could be,' she said.

'Will I see you again?' he asked.

'Tomorrow night when they're all asleep. Around eleven. Wait for me here.'

'I'll be here,' he said and kissed her, once and then again. It was hard for them to separate their bodies, and she felt as if she was being pulled apart and leaving something vital of herself behind.

Love

She met him the night after, and he brought two horses down to the quarry in the darkness for them to ride. They were old and surefooted and knew the trials, Travis assured her. The moon was still shining, almost full. They rode together, Travis in the lead, and she knew the horses sensed he was in control and respected him for it. The night seemed infused with magic as the scent of the horses and the wildflowers washed over her on the breeze.

They stripped and went swimming after they had watered the horses, and hobbled them on the shore where they peacefully grazed, softly munching grasses. Travis held her in the water and she wrapped her legs around him, but he said, 'It's too slippery like this,' and led her to the grass. Lying down, he waited for her to mount him, and he let her move to her own rhythm and discover her own sense of pleasure. She rose and sank back on his cock and touched her own breasts as he watched her, smiling, enthralled at the sight of her discovering her own wildness. He rubbed her mound and gently fingered her clit and she put her hands over his pectorals and squeezed his nipples hard. They played like that silently, testing each other’s desires, mirroring each other’s moves until they understood what it was the other wanted most. There was something primal about the night and the horses and the contact with the earth. They both felt it and along with it, a sense of awe.

She met him the night after, on a Sunday, before she knew they'd have to stop for a few days because he had hard work to do on the ranch and needed to rest. She was sad, but he promised they would be together the following Friday and she believed him. When she gotten to the quarry he was already there, and he had picked a bunch a wildflowers for her that was huge; a fitting tribute, he said. He took her clothes off slowly, piece by piece, and then he decked her naked body with them and chains of columbine he had made. That night he anticipated her every wish, and she asked him if he was reading her mind.

'I feel so close to you,' he said, 'that sometimes it feels that way.

'

Ma

Coming home she was joyous, going over what had happened and thinking about what was going to happen next time. She felt a special bond between them, and she knew from watching other people that was a rare thing to have. But when she entered the kitchen her Ma was waiting for her with her lips pressed together tightly.

'Where were you?'

'It was so hot. I couldn't sleep, so I went to the quarry to swim.' She wanted to brush past her Ma and get upstairs, but Ma stopped her dead saying, 'You're a slut, Cathy. I can smell the sex on you.'

'It isn't what you think, Ma. And I'm not a slut.'

'This is a small town, Cathy, not one of those fancy cities you're always dreaming about escaping to.'

'Ma, please.'

'Did Jimmy use a rubber at least? I don't want you ruining your chances in life like I did.'

Blue Girl looked at her Ma, as skinny as she was, so worn out and defeated, and she understood her and knew that she had good intentions. 'I promise you, I'll go to college. You don't have to worry about Jimmy. Not at all.'

She hurried up the stairs and ran a bath. The water was cool and tasted of iron. She washed herself, and she washed her hair. She thought about Travis all day when she was at the public library helping out with the annual book drive, but when she came home she saw her Ma had put a padlock on her bedroom door.

'I saw Jimmy today,' her Ma said. 'It wasn't even him.'

'No it wasn't. But he loves me, Ma,' she said, meaning Travis.

'If he loves you, he'll come to the house and act decent. I only he hope he didn't get you pregnant.'

At dinner, her Father looked at her with disappointment in his eyes, eating his meatloaf and potatoes in silence. Cathy felt horrible for letting him down somehow, though she knew that what she had with Travis had nothing to do with her parents or her future.

That night Travis waited for the Blue Girl to come to the edge of the wilderness, and when she didn't show up, he came to stand under her window. When he saw her looking out toward the deserted street, he suspected something had gone wrong. She shook her head at him, and he knew that perhaps he was in danger since it was not uncommon for trespassers to be shot in those parts.

'I'll wait for you at Carsons' ranch,' he said quietly. 'That's where I'm working now.'

'How long will you be there?' she asked, and he replied he had been planning to move on after the harvest came in.

She heard a noise in the house and withdrew from the window, and he disappeared back into the shadows, though he waited for a while to see if she would come back.

Her mother kept her locked up and kept her eyes on her until her period came. Then she sighed with relief and thought her strategy had worked, but Cathy and Travis were bonded even more deeply. Each night he came and left her a letter under a rock at the end of the road, a few words, saying what had happened that day or what he had seen or thought about. Sometimes there was a flower pressed between the pages. She hadn't noticed at first, until Sweetheart had gone rooting around at the bottom of the hill where the long dirt drive ended. She snatched up the paper quickly hoping her mother wouldn't notice.

Then she grew bolder and began to write back. There was no safer place because Ma wouldn't let her go off their property until she forgot about Travis. She could weed the grass and tend to the flowerbeds, and even when Ma was busy she could manage this one thing only, because sneaking away would have alerted Ma.

Blue Girl dreamed every day how she would get away to meet him. Her heart ached with yearning when she thought about losing him, and she thought about him almost all of the time. She thought about tying sheets together and escaping through her bedroom window, or asking Travis to get the ladder out of the shed, though she knew they would hear him and the ladder was too short to reach the second floor in any case. Mostly she was afraid of her Ma, since she kept a stranglehold over Pa. He wouldn't hesitate to use his shotgun if she told him to.

'Wait for me Travis. My mother will relax her vigil soon enough.' she wrote, though she was not certain of that at all. It would have been okay if Ma was still working at the mill, she thought, but she was always around since she had hurt her back and gone on disability.

The night Cathy had just about given hope, she heard the key turning in the lock. Billy put his finger to his lips. She stepped out of the room, and he put the lock back silently and motioned her to go downstairs. He followed close behind.

'Why are you doing this, Billy?' she asked.

'Because it's not fair, ' he said.

She had always thought of her brother as a science geek and had mainly ignored him but now she realized he was growing into manhood and had thoughts and opinions of his own. She saw he was almost six feet tall and gangling as a pole, but his jaw had shifted, his shoulders had broadened, and his white blond hair had darkened to a wheaten color.

'Be back before four, ' he said, 'and come get me. I'll lock you back in.'

'Okay,' she promised and ran over the fields to the Carsons', just stopping to catch her breath. Her heart was beating with anticipation. She could barely wait to see Travis again.

When she got to the bunkhouse where she knew the hired hands lived, she knocked softly. There was a shuffle in the darkness before he came to the door.

He was half asleep, but he said he had been waiting for her, and he inhaled her hair, and kissed her, and took her by the hand, leading her to his bed. It smelled of straw, and horses, and was sweet like the wildflower scent she had noticed on the nape of his neck. He was naked, and sitting on the edge of the bed, held on to her, burying his face between her breasts and kissing her lips and face.

'I've missed you so,' she said and the hunger to feel him inside her and to be a part of her was like raging fire.

'Me too. I can't think about anything else but you and the taste of you,' he said.

'Are you tired?' she asked, and he shook his head, no.

'Make love to me now,' she said, slipping out of her sundress.

He pulled her onto the bed and lay on her with his full weight, but he felt so right and so good that she was comforted by it. She wrapped one arm around his neck and with the other gripped his back, and he rose up to meet her as she parted her legs. She felt that he was truly making love to her this time, that his heart was in it, and that he was infusing his essence into her.

She stroked his back and his neck. Their lovemaking seemed quieter and less wild this time. She felt pleasure throughout her body, but she found herself becoming oddly detached though she had been anticipating it and waiting for weeks for it to happen again.

'What is it? He asked, pulling back to look at her.

'What's going to happen to us? She asked, realizing that she loved him more than she had ever loved anyone before, and the suddenness and ferocity of that feeling was overwhelming.

'You need to go to college, Cathy. You're too smart to waste your life.'

'You'll forget about me. I know you will.' She found there was a catch in her throat, and she was about to start crying.

'I'll never forget about you. You're my Blue Girl. I never felt this way before either.'

'Travis, take me with you when you leave. If you don't I know it will end.'

'Cathy, I can barely support myself. It wouldn't be fair to you to live like this, moving from town to town.'

'College takes four years. What will happen in the meantime?'

He was silent but held her even tighter, and she knew he took her seriously.

'Travis, you could come down to school with me and get a job there, and we could be together that way.'

There was a silence in the darkness before he said, 'I'm only good with outdoor work and horses. I'd never fit in.'

'Think about it. Just think about it. School won't start for another six weeks, and maybe you'll change your mind by then. Will you?' she asked.

'Yes. I don't want to lose you either.'

'It's too soon, I know, but how would you feel about settling down and having a house of our very own? You've been traveling around since you left home. Do you want to live like that forever?'

He shook his head.

'Okay,' she said, kissing him. He was silent, and she thought it was because he was thinking of a way to make things happen. After a while she said, 'I have to get back now before they wake up.'

'I'll walk with you.'

He held her hand tightly as they crossed the fields, and then he kissed her so deeply that she was reassured and stopped thinking he would disappear from her life forever.

The next time she met him was a whole week later because Jim had gone on a camping trip with his three best friends and there was no one else to let her out. Ma had not stopped suspecting her but had gone to bed early that Saturday night nursing a migraine headache. She had taken the pill her doctor gave her, and she never got up during the night when she took it. Pa was always a heavy sleeper.

Jim let her out, and she ran all the way to Carsons' praying Travis hadn't left and thinking he wouldn't betray her, though she hadn't heard from him all week and didn't know why that was. She was so anxious she was lightheaded by the time she got there, but when she rapped on the door of the bunk house there was no answer. She lifted the latch and let herself in. It was clear he was not there, and she lit a lamp and thought she would wait for him to come back.

She was relieved to see his few belongings were still there. Work boots and books, and a guitar she had not noticed before. She looked at the book titles but couldn't concentrate. She wondered how long he would be gone. Maybe he'd gone out of town to the rodeo with the Carson boys who rode bulls. She hoped that wasn't the case. It felt like forever since they had been together. She decided to wait for a while longer and got a book down from the shelf called The Light in August and began to read.

She awoke to his kisses and she heard that he was murmuring her name over and over. She arched her back and he grabbed her and held her so close and began to kiss her face and hair and parted lips. He tasted of mint and beer, though he was not drunk.

'What time is it?' she asked.

'Twelve-thirty. I went out to get a beer and shoot some pool. I didn't know you were coming or else I would have waited.'

'You didn't leave any notes this week,' she said.

'We were out rounding up strays. I left word at the house thinking you might come here, but when I got back yesterday they said you hadn't.'

'We've got four hours before I have to go,' she said.

'Okay,' he said. He hung his jeans jacket on peg and kicked off his boots. He peeled off his black t-shirt and she cupped his pectoral muscles squeezing them. She kissed him, her tongue probing his mouth and then she licked and nibbled his nipples. He gasped and she felt him growing hard against her. She reached for his belt, and he helped her and then she pulled his cock out of his jeans. Her whole body was humming, and she grew wet as she held him in her hands and stroked him. She fell to her knees and put her lips around the thick head and moved her head up and down very quickly, while looking up at him, watching the look of ecstasy on his face as he closed his eyes. He pushed her away gently, but she knew it was because he was close to coming and wanted it to last. He was going to fuck her, but she couldn't wait.