The Dollhouse (6 page)

It was all she could do not to climb under the covers and go to sleep, turn off her brain for a moment. But she had to keep her job, which meant putting on a brave face and charming the woman downstairs. She rummaged through her bag for the letter she'd written at work, explaining who she was and asking for a short interview. She knew she'd have to earn Miss McLaughlin's trust first, and she didn't want to scare her off.

After swiping on a coat of fresh lipstick and smoothing her hair, she grabbed the envelope and her keys and took the elevator down to the fourth floor.

The dog, the one named Bird, barked furiously when she knocked on the door of 4B. She heard a muffled voice tell him to be quiet and the shuffle of steps. She stood back, trying to look as friendly as possible, the envelope tucked behind her back. But the door didn't creak open, not even an inch.

She knocked again. “Miss McLaughlin, are you home?”

Nothing.

She put her ear to the door. She had the uncanny sensation of a presence lurking on the other side, but the older woman wasn't moving a muscle.

“I'm Rose Lewin. I live upstairs. I was hoping I might be able to introduce myself.”

She waited. The woman didn't even say hello. Rose should have come down saying that there had been a leak in her apartment and she wanted to make sure it hadn't seeped through her neighbor's ceiling. That would have gotten her in the door, at the very least. She was off her game. Normally, that type of thinking would have come instinctively.

She had to reach her somehow.

“I'm so sorry to bother you. I would love to say hello. I'm something of a historian-slash-journalist, and I'd like to find out about what the Barbizon was like back in the fifties. In fact, I'm doing research for an article.”

The dog gave a sharp yip, but was quickly silenced.

“Okay, well, sorry to have bothered you.” Unbelievable. The woman was standing a few feet away, behind her closed door. Who behaves that way?

“I'll slip a note under your door. I hope you'll take the time to read it. I'd love to get your help with the project. I'll stop by again later.”

She slid the note under the door and waited, half expecting it to shoot back out.

“I'm off; have a good night.”

Back at her apartment, she poured a large glass of wine and curled up on the sofa. She needed this story. It was the first pitch she and Tyler had agreed on in ages. The woman in 4B was an enigma, living alone with her tiny dog in the same apartment year after year. How did she fill her time? Did she have family nearby? Did she have someone close to her she could rely on?

A faint sound came up through the open window. The music again. Rose perched on the windowsill, wine in hand, and listened as her curious neighbor played the same sad, sweet love song over and over.

New York City, 1952

T
he elevator girl hit the light switch in Darby's room and closed the door behind them. “Ignore the giraffes; they're a nasty bunch.”

Darby stared at the girl. Esme, they'd called her. She was about her height, with velvety brown eyes accentuated by the severity of her hairstyle, which was pulled back in a tight bun.

“Giraffes?” she croaked, wiping her eyes with the handkerchief.

“All long necks, loping along like prey. Just hoping a big lion will attack, if you know what I mean. A big, manly lion.”

As she talked, she walked behind Darby and unzipped her dress. Darby allowed it to pool at her feet and stepped out of the circle of fabric.

“I'll have this washed and mended and it'll be fine. Don't worry about that.” Her accent was crisp, slicing through the air.

“Where are you from?” Darby couldn't help asking.

“Manhattanville. Puerto Rico before that. I'm Esme, by the way. Do you know where Manhattanville is?”

“I'm Darby. And no, not exactly. Sounds very pretty.”

“No,
chica
. Trust me. Stick to the East Side for now. You just got here, right?”

“Yes.” Profound misery enveloped her once again. She was surrounded
by girls who were nasty, when she hadn't done anything to inspire their wrath. Or had she? Was there some code or password she'd missed out on? During high school she'd preferred novels to her classmates: They were in every way easier to read.

“Don't start crying again. That's what those girls like. You gotta toughen up.”

“I just want to go home.”

Esme stood quietly for a moment, then led Darby to the bed and sat her down. “The city is scary at first, even for these girls. For me, too. When I got off the plane from San Juan, I thought I'd freeze to death. Snow, ice, everywhere. My aunt told me that when she first got on a subway, she tried to find the cord to make it stop, like you have on a bus, right?” She swore under her breath and Darby couldn't make out the word. “You'll get used to it, don't worry. You gotta decide what you want out of it. Don't let them trample you.”

“I imagined them as gazelles, the girls.” Darby smiled, in spite of herself. “I like giraffes better.”

“That's the way. Laugh it off. And put in a request to Mrs. Eustis to switch floors. You should be with the other Katie Gibbs girls, not with these monsters. They're the messiest of all the guests here at the hotel. Leave their stockings and girdles all over the bathroom, not caring who sees what. It's disgusting.”

Darby didn't mention that spitting was fairly disgusting behavior as well.

“Thank you for helping me, Esme. That was nice of you.”

“Sure thing. I figured you weren't like them.”

“Clearly not; just look at me. My dress is all wrong, my hair. You can take the dress and burn it, for all I care. I'll never wear it again.” She still tasted Walter's breath and tongue, the feel of his hands on her.

“It's a little dullsville, to be honest. Why umbrellas?”

Her response caught Darby off guard. “I thought it was an interesting pattern.”

“You need to get glamorous. Umbrellas aren't glamorous.”

“You don't understand. I'm going to be a secretary. Secretaries aren't meant to be chic.”

Esme walked over to the window and yanked it open. She sat on the ledge, repinning the maid's cap on her head. “Why limit yourself? I don't. I'm going to be a famous entertainer. I'm auditioning this week for the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. I'm gonna make films and have fans swoon over me.”

Darby studied Esme with renewed interest. She'd never seen anyone with her kind of accent as a major film star. In the background, sure, but not like Judy Garland and Katharine Hepburn. They didn't talk or look like this girl.

“I know, you think I'm not the right type. But I can do proper, and I can do fiery. I'm going to show them when I audition. I'll knock their socks off.”

“What kind of thing do you have to do for the audition?”

“I'll be performing a monologue from
Romeo and Juliet
. By Shakespeare.”

An ambitious choice. “How exciting.”

Esme grabbed Darby's bathrobe where it lay on the armchair and tossed it to her. “Hey, we should go out sometime this week. I can show you the best places in town. The real ones. Not the stuck-up supper clubs.”

Darby wasn't sure how to respond. Mother would never approve of her hanging about with one of the maids from the hotel. The uncertainty must have registered on her face, as Esme shrugged and stood. “You don't have to. I'm sure you'll be busy with your school stuff.”

Darby hated the idea of rebuffing the only person, besides Stella, who had shown any kindness to her. Then again, look what Stella had led her into. She had to keep her distance, be careful. “But thank you for the invitation.”

“Sure. Here's what I recommend: Talk to Mrs. Eustis, and stay away from the giraffes. Good luck.”

Darby wanted to say more, to reach out in some way and let Esme
know how much she appreciated her help and kind words, but Esme closed the door with a quiet click before she could utter a word.

Mrs. Eustis had promised to look into a room transfer for Darby, but four days later, she hadn't heard back. Darby's routine consisted of getting up early, before the other girls rose, running in and out of the bathroom as quickly and quietly as possible, and then heading off to class at the Katharine Gibbs School. The first day, the school director had listed off the qualifications for Gibbs graduates, including a strong work ethic and a respectable background. When she added that graduates were known for having a “natural physical endowment,” Darby could have sworn she looked right at her, and not in a good way. What the heck did that mean? Pretty? Buxom? She'd pulled her shoulders back and sat up straighter.

The classes were tedious, for the most part: typing, shorthand, communication, and spelling tests. She'd already received bad marks for having a run in her stockings, and another for slouching. She missed her English teacher from high school, who'd assigned short stories and Russian novels to be analyzed in great detail. Learning to type and memorizing Gregg shorthand symbols were deadly boring in comparison.

By Thursday evening of her first week, she was frustrated. And hungry. She'd waited until all the other girls left before going down to the Barbizon dining room, and missed dinner by five minutes. She was staring longingly at the menu posted outside the doorway when Esme walked by, carrying a mop and bucket.

“Esme?”

“Miss McLaughlin.” Esme nodded in her direction but kept walking.

“Wait.” Darby dashed after her and put a hand on her arm. Esme's expression was pleasant but not warm. “I wanted to say thank you for everything you did for me last weekend. You really helped me out there.”

“I'm glad.” She put the bucket down. “Are the giraffes leaving you alone?”

“So far. And I asked Mrs. Eustis for a transfer and she's working on it. In the meantime, I try to work around their schedules. I'm in school full-time now, so it's easy.” She didn't mention that she was dreading the upcoming weekend, when she had nothing at all to do. If she sat inside her room the entire time, she'd go mad, she was sure of that.

Esme nodded in the direction of the dining room. “You miss dinner?”

“I did. So busy with homework.”

“Do you want me to get you a roll or something?”

Darby clutched at her stomach. “Would you? I'm starving. Could you do that without getting into trouble?”

“I'll meet you up in your room. Be there in ten.”

As promised, Esme showed up with several slices of bread tucked into her laundry basket, along with a small jar of raspberry jelly and a knife.

“Oh, this is wonderful, thank you! Do you want some?”

“No, I'll just fold some sheets here while you dine, if you don't mind.”

“Go ahead.” Darby sat at her desk and slathered the jam on the bread. “May I ask about your audition?”

Esme gave her a wide smile. “It was great. I had it yesterday, and they'll let me know in a week or so.”

“Tell me, what was it like? Were you nervous?”

“I'm never nervous. I think they were, though. The minute I opened my mouth, you could see they weren't expecting a Puerto Rican to apply to their fancy academy. All the other people auditioning talked right. But I did my speech and the judges flipped.”

“I'm so excited for you. I couldn't imagine doing such a thing. What courage you have.”

“Courage is easy when the other choices are folding sheets and dealing with guests all day. When you want to get out of a situation fast, you get courage.”

“It must be difficult, dealing with so many girls.”

“It's a dirty, nasty job. But to make up for it, I do something beautiful at night.”

“What's that?”

“If you like, I'll show you. Come out with me. I finish at nine thirty.”

“I couldn't. I'd miss curfew.”

“You can easily sneak in the back way. I'll show you how.”

“That's awfully late, isn't it?”

“Did you have other plans?” asked Esme.

Darby swallowed and tore off another piece of bread. “Not really.”

“Have you been out since last weekend?”

She hated to admit she hadn't. It had taken all her energy to get to school and back each day, and although the other girls in her classes were friendly enough, she'd been too skittish to try in earnest.

Esme didn't give her a chance to respond. “C'mon, Darby, live a little. Come out with me tonight. I'll meet you outside. Don't be late.” She walked over to Darby's small closet and opened it, pulling out the black brocade dress she'd last worn at Daddy's funeral. “And wear this.”

When Darby walked out of the Barbizon at nine thirty on the dot, Esme ran toward her, squealing. She'd changed into a bright red taffeta dress with a delicate scalloped trim around the neckline. Her hair, unleashed from its updo, fell in gentle curls around her head. She looked more fashionable than any of the girls on Darby's floor.

As the cab ventured into the East Village, the street scene changed. The buildings were no higher than six stories, the sidewalks dirty with cigarette butts and crumpled newspapers. Darby almost gagged at the smell of urine as she stepped out of the taxi, but she followed Esme along a narrow alleyway between two buildings to a tiny, treeless courtyard at the back of the one of the tenements.

Esme smiled up at a black man smoking a cigarette outside a doorway and dragged Darby into the darkness.

“Where are we going? How do you know where to go?” Darby asked.

“I work here some nights as a hatcheck girl. Good tips, and it's a wild scene.”

“What is it, exactly?”

“The Flatted Fifth. A jazz club. All the greats come here, after they've
played at the posh places on Fifty-Second Street. It's gritty and grubby and the best.”

She agreed with the first two adjectives. They walked through a tiny kitchen, where a cook stared hard at them as they breezed by.

“What are you doing, Esme?” he said. “You know he doesn't like it when you bring in nonpayers.”

Esme thrust out her chin and put a hand on her hip. “Sam, meet Darby. Darby, this is Sam. He thinks he runs the place, but he doesn't. Right, Sam?”

The cook scowled back. “If he catches you, you'll get fired, Esme.”

Darby stared at him. While none of his features was remarkable on its own—the nose too large, the edges of his eyes sloped downward—he was oddly handsome, with a perfect dimpled chin. He looked to be in his mid-twenties but had a boyish frame, all long limbs and sharp points.

He turned back to the oven.

“Manners, Sam. I'll have to talk to your dad about that.” Esme didn't wait for a reply but pulled Darby farther into the bowels of the building, pushing past a swinging door.

They were in the basement of the tenement. The low-ceilinged main room was packed, a mixture of blacks and whites, young men and women posturing and smoking and talking over one another.

Esme squeezed Darby's hand. “We're waiting for Stick Hawkins. They say he's coming tonight, but you never know with that cat.”

Stick? Cat? Darby looked at Esme, perplexed.

Esme laughed. “Don't worry, you'll catch on.”

Darby wasn't so sure. The place was frightening, and she scanned the exits, wondering which was the quickest way out in case there was a fire or a fight. All these people pressed together, in the smoke and darkness, made her heart beat faster and her mouth grow dry in panic. She wanted to run away, go back to the lonely safety of her room. But she couldn't bear another night of tossing and turning and ruminations.