The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Places on Earth (50 page)

From the beginning, this has been the site of superlative entertainment, with a succession of talented acts, most notably the
long-running
Golden Horseshoe Revue
.  The
Golden Horseshoe Stage
has echoed with the vibrant performances of
Slue Foot Sue and the Can-Can Girls
, and the legendary antics of
Wally Boag
.  A young
Steve Martin
–who worked at
Disneyland
first as a guidebook vendor and then souvenir seller, then as a
Magic Shop
Cast Member–watched
Wally Boag
’s shows and remembers them as the first live comedy he ever saw.  Today,
Billy Hill and the Hillbillies
continue to bring down-home laughter and music to this corner of the frontier.

For fans of the original
Golden Horseshoe Revue
, 2013 was your year!  As part of 2013’s
Limited Time Magic
,
Frontierland
’s music hall presented an abridged version of the old revue called
A Salute to the Golden Horseshoe Revue
.

Even if you’re not hankering for a slice of cake or old-time entertainment, it’s worth
taking a moment to pop into this music hall to appreciate the opulent, endearingly gaudy 1800’s dance hall décor.  From the stage to the private boxes to the chandeliers to the upholstery to the longhorns, every detail perfectly nails that specific time and place in America’s show business history. 
Did You Know? 
If the interior of the
Golden Horseshoe
seems familiar to you, you’re probably registering its similarity to the saloon in the 1953 feature film “Calamity Jane”. 
Harper Goff
, the legendary
Imagineer
, designed both; he adapted the look of the “Calamity Jane” saloon on a smaller scale for the
Golden Horseshoe
. Interestingly (all roads lead to
Disney
),
Doris Day
(the star of “Calamity Jane”) covered the
Beach Boys
’ song
Disney Girls
on her album “My Heart”. 
Did You Also Know?
  That mildly shocking portrait behind the counter is a prop from
Disney
’s 1963 live-action movie
Summer Magic
. 
Did You Also Know?
  What is it about the frontier that sparks ghostly tales?  Does the ghost of a conscientious janitor haunt the
Golden Horseshoe
?  An unconfirmed story on the Internet suggests as much.  Apparently this hard-working Cast Member won’t let a little thing like passing on to the other side keep him from working his shift. 
FastPass:
  No.  A combination music hall and restaurant, this attraction doesn’t lend itself to the
FastPass
system.  Because it’s a popular eatery, the lines can be long, particularly around lunch and supper time and show times.  For specific show times, refer to the park’s
Entertainment Times Guide
.  You’ll want to arrive early to secure a table.  The
Golden Horseshoe
’s boisterous music and broad comedy ensure that you’ll be able to hear and enjoy the entertainment from any seat in the house. If you can find a table on the balcony level, that provides an outstanding view. 
Kid’s Eye View:
  At first I didn’t like this place, but it has good food and chocolate cake that’s the best!

Mark Twain Riverboat
 
(
Opening Day
Attraction)

[
FastView:
 
All aboard for riverboat adventure!  Circle
Tom Sawyer Island
while you drink in the atmosphere of times gone by.  If you’re lucky, visit the pilothouse and sign the guest book. 
Walt
borrowed against his life insurance to complete this attraction.
]

A movie remake of the popular book, play, and film “Show Boat” was released in 1951, in the vivid, surreal, saturated Technicolor of the 1950’s.  One of the stars of that film, in addition to Ava Gardner, Kathryn Grayson, and Howard Keel, was the show boat itself.  In the film, the Mississippi riverboat is owned and inhabited by entertainers.  It paddles up and down the mighty river stopping at towns large and small to present locals with an evening of melodrama, comedy, song, and dance.

The riverboat is the setting for much of the movie, and as befits a show boat, it
’s a big, delicious, gooey, gaudy birthday cake of a vessel, thickly iced with extra staircases and balconies and fringe-like trim.  The boat is dazzling white, the trim sugary pink and blue.

“Show Boat” was a
box office hit and it would have been very familiar to most Guests in 1955 when they first saw
Disneyland
’s grand
Mark Twain Riverboat
cleaving the
Rivers of America
.

Disneyland
’s
Mark Twain
is a far more elegant vessel than the film’s show boat; the
Mark Twain
resembles a wedding not birthday cake, coolly white and sleek in its appointments, but it is of that same time and that same place when Americans traveled up and down the Mississippi and its tributaries, politicians and gamblers, performers and ordinary citizens, anyone who had the interest or the need to shake off the dust of their hometown and explore what was around the next river bend.  Motion, progress, and discovery–all favorite themes for
Walt
.

The
Mark Twain
navigates an eternal river bend, following a clockwise loop around the appropriately named
Tom Sawyer Island
.  Guests board at
Frontierland Dock
, the white-painted gingerbread riverboat landing just south of the
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
entrance, just west of the
Golden Horseshoe
.  Looking east to the rustic, semi-civilized structures of
Frontierland
, and southwest to the elegance of
New Orleans Square
, it’s easy to feel swept back in time, to those transformative moments of which
Walt
was so fond, twilit
magic
instants that balance between then and now, nostalgia and progress, being and becoming.

It can be argued that the history of the United States is an uninterrupted cavalcade of such transformative moments. 
Walt
was a devotee of the eternal process of becoming, one of the creative American geniuses that continually advanced our art and technology while preserving so much of our past.  As usual, with the panoramic view from the riverboat landing,
Disneyland
gets both the overall patterns
and
the tiny details of this eternal
magic
moment just right.

The
Mark Twain
was an
Opening Day
attraction.  It was part of
Walt
’s vision, and when funds dwindled he borrowed against his life insurance to pay for its construction (much to wife
Lillian
’s dismay).  The
Mark Twain
was meant from the outset to be a key icon, not only of
Frontierland
but of the park.  Riverboats evoke nostalgia now, but were technological marvels in their day; like so much else in the park, the
Mark Twain
is simultaneously an image of an idealized past and the power of technology to drive the present and the future.

When it’s docked, the grand riverboat can be seen
from the
Frontierland
entrance.  Its cool, gleaming white elegance beckons Guests all the way down
Frontierland
’s main drag.  It’s somewhat surreal to stand on the landing directly below the boat, the
Mark Twain
’s three decks and lofty wheelhouse towering above you.  So stood ladies and gentleman, laborers, river rats, and gamblers in days long past.  This is what they saw, and they heard a similar whistle and felt similar droplets of steam wash over them in a warm mist.

Friendly Cast Members welcome you aboard.  Like many self-guided experiences in the park, the
Mark Twain
offers you the freedom to stand or sit where you choose, and the choices are many.  Each deck offers different features, seating arrangements, and views of the river.  If fortune smiles upon you, the Captain might invite you to the wheelhouse for the journey.  While there, you can ring the bell, and you’ll have the best view on the boat.

There is
conflicting advice on
Disney
websites about how to arrange a ride in the wheelhouse/pilothouse, ranging from asking the permission of Cast Members on the dock, to simply rapping on a door marked “Private” on the upper deck and asking the riverboat captain to let you in.  Reports not only conflict, but change over time.  Some write that you can no longer ride in the pilothouse.

On a
trip to the park in summer 2009 I consulted a
Mark Twain
Cast Member about riding in the wheelhouse, and was told without hesitation simply to go to the upper deck and ask the Captain if I could ride with him.  This was the correct procedure as recently as August 2011, when my brother-in-law and I rode in the wheelhouse with the knowledgeable Cast Member piloting the
Mark Twain
.  My brother-in-law was allowed to ring the bell and blast the whistle throughout the journey–under the Captain’s tutelage, of course.  The three-and-five-second whistle blasts are messages to the
Sailing Ship Columbia
and the dock.  The view from the wheelhouse and the thrill of being there?  Magnificent!

In October 2012, my mother and her best friend
visited
Disneyland
for the first time.  Upon inquiring, we were told that the Cast Members on the dock have to arrange visits to the wheelhouse.  Luckily, we were able to arrange it.  My mother and her best friend had a wonderful time “steering” the riverboat, ringing the bell, and asking the captain questions.  It was a once-in-a-lifetime thrill, and they even earned their riverboat pilot’s license.

In April 2013, my sister and I spoke to Cast Members on the dock and arranged a pilothouse visit
–a thrill for my sister, as it was the first time she was able to climb to the wheelhouse.  She signed the riverboat’s log, blew the whistle, rang the bell, turned the wheel, and earned her riverboat pilot’s license.  The cheerful young captain volunteered a wealth of interesting information, including pointing out the trap doors and “boxes” at the southern tip of
Tom Sawyer’s Island
where
Mickey
,
Maleficient
, and the dragon appear and disappear during
Fantasmic!
performances.

He also pointed out the area between
Tom Sawyer’s Island
and the backstage ranch where the
Princess Barges
and giant
Peter Pan Croc
are stored between
Fantasmic!
shows.  How did our captain know so much inside info about
Fantasmic!
performances?  The Cast Member sometimes dressed as a pirate on the
Columbia
during
Fantasmic!
, and sometimes was assigned to ride, concealed, aboard the
Mark Twain
during
Fantasmic!
to listen for emergency signals and take control of the riverboat if need be.

Clearly, the reason there are conflicting accounts about how to gain access to the wheelhouse is that over time, and depending on the Cast Members, the protocol changes.

When you visit
Disneyland
, why not see if
you
can gain access to the wheelhouse?  It’s particularly fun for little ones.  The view of the river is unparalleled.  How many of us in this modern age can say we’ve been in the pilothouse of a gosh-darn riverboat?  You’ll find yourself snapping photos and grinning from ear to ear.  There’s a real feeling of freedom and adventure;
Twain
himself longed to be a riverboat pilot from his youth.

Although the great paddlewheel
really turns, and is powered by steam, the riverboat moves on an underwater guide rail along a pre-determined course.  This is for safety reasons, and considering all the watercraft in motion on the
Rivers of America
, the rafts, canoes, and
Sailing Ship Columbia
, it makes good sense to remove possible human error from the equation.  Given the challenges of safely navigating a windjammer in such close quarters, the
Columbia
also is pulled along the underwater beam.