The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Places on Earth (229 page)

-
Create realistic expectations
re: the food and souvenirs your party will be purchasing, particularly if you have children.  Involve them in the planning process and agree to build a few “splurge” items into the plan.  Let them know, for example, if the
Blue Bayou
(a beautiful but expensive table-service restaurant) is not going to be part of this trip, but promise that in addition to burgers at the
Pinocchio
-themed
Village Haus
, they can each get one
Mickey
ice cream in the afternoon.  Let them know that everyone will get to pick one or two souvenirs on the last day of the trip, so they can have fun browsing beforehand.  Give them a price limit and any other guidelines or limitations so there are no disappointments on the last day.  Whether they end up with a giant facsimile of
Sleeping Beauty Castle
, or a little
Mickey Mouse
pen, if they have thought about it and picked it out, they’ll be thrilled, and since it’ll meet the expectations you set, you’ll be thrilled too!

3.  Give everyone a “job” (e.g., map holder; FastPass getter; restaurant-selector)

-
Divvy up the chores when you reach the parks
.  The more involved everyone feels in the experience and the decision-making, the happier your trip will be.  Also, if everyone has a task, however small, that’s one less thing for Mom and Dad, or whoever the host/hostess of the visit is, to worry about.  Yes, the person in charge of the excursion, especially if they are trying to do it all, could be the one to blow their stack out of a clear blue sky.  No kidding.  Sweet, kindly Grandpa?  Organized, together Aunt Ethel?  Have a hissy fit?  Absolutely, if they’re trying to do everything themselves in the crowded, high-energy atmosphere of the parks.  Parsing out tasks avoids that, and gives everyone a stake in the fun.  Just make sure it’s something they can handle.  If Uncle Lou is always late for everything, don’t put him in charge of the schedule or time keeping.  If Cousin Sun loses everything not sewn into her pockets, she’s absolutely the wrong choice to hold
Annual Passports
or
FastPasses
.  Does Grampa Ramon think hamburgers should be a nickel apiece, like in the good old days at Coney Island?  Don’t tap him to take the lead in choosing the fancy park restaurant where you’ll all celebrate the family reunion; he’s likely to settle on corn dogs at
Main Street
’s
Little Red Wagon
!  However, when you give everyone a job they
can
do, watch how much more fun they have, and how much smoother everything runs.  Children in particular light up with pride if you trust them with something to do.  It enriches the whole experience for them.

4. Build meals, fluids and breaks into your day

-
This might seem ridiculously self-explanatory, but keep it on your radar
.  Especially during first visits, Guests become so swept up in the sights, sounds, scents, and thrills that they literally don’t think to eat, to drink, to sit down for a moment. 
Make sure you do!
  Many park meltdowns are either caused by or compounded by the person’s corresponding level of hunger, thirst, or fatigue. 
Disneyland
has been around since 1955.  It’s not going anywhere.  Take a few minutes to eat some grapes, swig some water, and sit on one of the many benches in one of the resort’s serene nooks for five minutes to catch your breath.  Relax.  Regroup.  Chat with the kids or the spouse or whomever you’re with.  Some of my best experiences in the park have been the quiet “between” moments, not hurtling through an attraction but instead sitting tranquilly with family or friends, chatting over a slice of sourdough bread, a mozzarella stick, a cup of cocoa. 
Disneyland
is about making all sorts of memories, including those tranquil one-to-one, human moments with loved ones.

5.  Expect unexpected behavior

-
Both
Disneyland
and
Disney California Adventure
are unique places, and you have never visited any place like them before
.  This is not some hype or marketing spiel; it’s simple fact.  Whether you ultimately like or dislike
Disney Theme Parks
, you’ll never experience anything precisely like them anywhere else.  What this means from an experiential perspective is that when you enter the parks, you are literally leaving everyday life as you know it and entering a precisely engineered alternate reality. 
Walt
was a highly imaginative man determined to create, via the parks, an immersive experience where Guests feel as if they are living a film.  To make his dream reality,
Walt
hired the most imaginative engineers, artists, and organizers from within and outside his studios,
Imagineers
(a combination of “Imagination” and “Engineer”—a term devised by
Disney
writer extraordinaire
Marty Sklar
).  Even though
Walt
passed away in 1966, his family, his company, and his
Imagineers
continued to
plus
the original park and all the new parks and experiences that followed.  The work continues still.  So you have never visited a theme park that has such attention to detail, such attention to your happiness, and such attention to creating a complete, alternate reality.  Which means you are likely to have a wonderful,
magical
visit–but it’s going to be a hyper-stimulating and unusual experience.  People react differently to this simulated world.  In most cases, that’s good.  Grown-ups rediscover their inner child, smile more, laugh more, even sing, dance, and skip with their children.  This is healthy behavior indeed.  However, in some cases, people begin to feel overwhelmed or fatigued or just odd, without quite realizing what’s wrong.  They’re probably over-stimulated or disoriented by the park environment.  Usually they feel better if they leave the park for a while; go back to the hotel; take a nap, a swim, eat a meal, and re-connect with the everyday world.

6.  Brace for lines and crowds

-
If long lines or crowds cause you stress, you’ll want to visit the resort during the off seasons, week days, or the early morning hours when the parks open
.  A February or September weekday morning will provide the elbow room and short lines you want.  Interestingly, the night before Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving Day are often quiet, perhaps because Thanksgiving is the holiday that most Americans spend at home with family.  By contrast, Christmas Day at the resort is a madhouse; everyone seems to be at the resort with their entire family, and you can barely move several feet per minute along the jam-packed shores of the
Rivers of America
.  Lines for
Space Mountain
and
Indiana Jones Adventure
can exceed 70 minutes, even 90 minutes, and
FastPasses
run out early in the day. Another consideration is that
Disneyland Resort Hotels
and park-adjacent hotels can be priced at a premium in high summer (July and August) and during the Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays, so there’s a financial incentive to visit off-season, too.

-
If you must be in the parks during peak crowds, grab FastPasses whenever possible and seek out less popular but often entertaining shows and attractions
.  Be prepared to grin and bear it when you do encounter crowds.  Mentally prep for long wait times and dealing with a lot of human contact.  Carry lightweight electronic games in your hip or back-pack to occupy yourself or little ones while you wait.  Be prepared to be forgiving when people cannon into you—because they
will
cannon into you.

If you’ve read this far, and you follow these tips, you are far less likely to experience
Disneyland meltdowns
than other Guests without the inside scoop.  Happy planning–and
bon voyage
!

Toddler Suggestions

Below are some suggested activities, attractions, restaurants, and shops that are appropriate for and popular with the toddler set and also for young children.

It’s a long list
, and you could add more based on your own little ones’ particular tastes and personalities.

Attractions or shows that might be too scary for sensitive toddlers are marked with an asterisk.  Where attractions have height restrictions, and where restaurants usually require
Priority Seating
, that information is provided.

Tip:
  Don’t try to do
everything
; make choices based on what your children are likely to enjoy most.  The immersive, hyper-stimulating environment of the resort can sometimes be too much for younger children (and some older children and adults!) in large doses.

If you’re a parent with one or more toddlers, f
requent meal, potty, and juice breaks will be important, and you’ll want to break up your day rather than spend one long, grueling stretch in the parks.  It’s a good idea to return to the hotel/motel after lunch to let your toddler nap and take a dip in the pool.  (And parents sometimes need naps too!)

Toddlers
tend to have a different perspective than adults; to the typical little one, a swim in a hotel pool, an hour of watching the
Disney Channel
, and a meal at the local McDonald’s will be almost as delightful as their in-park experiences.

We a
dults, understandably focused on getting every last penny and minute out of the trip, might do well to take a page out of the toddler credo:  It’s not about a frenetic attempt to ride every attraction and see everything in the parks.  It’s about the whole experience, and every memory built together.

Toddler Attraction, Dining & Shopping Suggestions:

Animation Academy
(
Hollywood Land
,
DCA
)

Autopia
(
Tomorrowland
,
DL
) – 32” or 81 cm to ride accompanied by adult

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique
(
Fantasyland
,
DL
)

Build-A-Bear-Workshop
(
Downtown Disney
)

Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters
(
Tomorrowland
,
DL
)

Casey Jr. Circus Train
(
Fantasyland
,
DL
)

Chip ‘n Dale Critter Breakfast at Storyteller Café
(
Grand Californian Hotel & Spa
) – Call (714) 781-DINE for
Priority Seating
or email
[email protected]
.

Disney Junior
-
Live On Stage
(
Hollywood Land
,
DCA
)

Dumbo
the Flying Elephant
(
Fantasyland
,
DL
)

Fantasmic!
(
Frontierland
,
DL
)

Fantasy Faire
(
Fantasyland
,
DL
)

Fantasyland Theatre
–
Mickey & the Magical Map
(
Fantasyland
,
DL
)

Flik’s Flyers
(
Flik’s Fun Fair
,
“a bug’s land,”
DCA
)

Gadget’s Go Coaster
(
Mickey’s Toontown
,
DL
) – 35” or 89 cm to ride

Gag Factory
/
Toontown Five
& Dime
(
Mickey’s Toontown, DL
)

*
Haunted Mansion
(
New Orleans Square
,
DL
) – Potentially SCARY

Heimlich’s Chew Chew Train
(
Flik’s Fun Fair
,
“a bug’s land,”
DCA
)

“i
t’s a small world”
(
Fantasyland, DL
)

*
“
It’s Tough to Be a Bug!”
(
“a bug’s land,”
DCA
) – Potentially SCARY

King Arthur Carrousel
(
Fantasyland
,
DL
)