The Dish
Authors: Stella Newman
Copyright © 2015 Stella Newman
The right of Stella Newman to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in
the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.
This Ebook edition was first published by Headline Publishing Group in 2015
Extract from ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’ taken from
Collected Poems 1909–1962
© Estate of T. S. Eliot and reprinted by permission of Faber and Faber Ltd.
All characters – apart from the obvious
historical ones – in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library
eISBN: 978 1 4722 2005 9
Design by Sarah Greeno
Photograph of woman © Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
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Contents
Stella Newman studied English at Sussex University, then went on to work in advertising, at the BBC and then as a professional food taster. She is now a full-time writer, based in London, and has written three novels:
Pear Shaped
,
Leftovers
and
The Dish
, as well as the festive e-short story,
A Pear Shaped Christmas
. She blogs about restaurants, food and writing at
www.stellanewmansblog.wordpress.com
and you can follow her on twitter
@stellanewman
.
Stella Newman
:
‘Really quite brilliant . . . fresh, insightful, honest and very contemporary’ Henry Fitzherbert,
Sunday Express
‘Sharp, sweet and satisfying all at once’ Kate Long
‘If you are a girl with a passion for food, this modern city heartbreak is the book for you’
Heat
‘Achingly funny, searingly honest’ Claudia Carroll
Love is on the menu. With a side order of lies.
When Laura Parker first crosses forks with Adam Bayley, she’s only after one thing: his custard doughnut. But when she takes a closer look she sees a talented, handsome man who outshines the string of jokers she’s been dating.
There’s just one problem. Adam’s job means Laura has to keep
her
job as restaurant critic for
The Dish
, a secret. Tricky for someone who prides herself on honesty.
Can the truth be put on ice long enough for love to flourish?
And how can you expect your boyfriend to be honest if you’re not quite telling the truth yourself?
Stella Newman. Fiction has never tasted so good.
Pear Shaped
Leftovers
A Pear Shaped Christmas (short story)
To my sister, with love
‘An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness’
Elbert Hubbard
To: Roger Harris@The Voice
From: Laura Harwall@Bean To Cup
Subject: Sub-editing work
Dear Roger,
I hope this email finds you well.
I’m sure you won’t remember me – it’s been so long – but I’m Laura Parker, Jane Parker’s youngest daughter. (Harwall is/was my married name, but I’m just starting to change everything back.)
I have such vivid memories of you from the times we used to visit
Mum in her office when you were still based in Fleet Street. Mum would try to make us sit quietly and behave – fat chance! Jess and I would come and pester you for Jelly Babies. You were probably trying to file copy on the Falklands but you always made time for us and even put up with my sister’s atrocious manners. Did you
really
like the green Jelly Babies best or did you just pretend to so that
Jess and I could eat all the red and black ones?
Anyway, twenty-five years on and here I am pestering you again. The reason I’m writing is because I’m moving back to London and I wondered if there were any sub-editing jobs going at your place? I’m a huge fan of
The Voice.
You launched just as I moved up North, and I find it so heartening that while other magazines have haemorrhaged readers, your
ABCs go from strength to strength. Your journalists are the only ones I truly trust, and I’ve come to realise that trust – above all else – is what matters.
A bit about my background: after graduating in English and Spanish, I spent the majority of my twenties working for Union Roasters, then left to help launch Bean To Cup. For the last three years I’ve been running our (now) five award-winning
branches. While at uni I worked every summer as a sub at the
Manchester Evening News
. I have full secretarial skills as well as shorthand (Mum insisted). In addition I speak pretty fluent French (Dad now lives in Paris, Jess dragged him out there to be full-time babysitter to her twins. She heads up the equities trading desk for Paribanque, can you believe?)
In terms of subbing, I’m more than
happy to do late shifts, nights, freelance – anything you have going. I’m a fast learner, very flexible with my hours and am available to start as soon as possible.
Looking forward to hearing back from you.
All the best,
Laura Parker
To: Laura Harwall@Bean To Cup
From: Sandra Milton@The Voice
Subject: re: Sub-editing work
Dear Mrs Harwall,
With regards to your recent enquiry, I regret
to inform you we have no vacancies at this time. In addition, as your experience in newspapers was almost a decade ago, may I suggest that if you are indeed serious about re-entering the sub-editing profession, you gain some further experience? Perhaps apply for the course at Cardiff or City, if you are such a fast learner?
Yours sincerely
Ms Milton
To: Laura Harwall@Bean To Cup
From: Roger
Harris@The Voice
Subject: My goodness!
Laura Parker, what an absolute delight to hear from you!
Of course I remember you. How could I forget the Parker sisters? Jess was the first eight-year-old girl (and come to think of it the last) who assured me she’d be the next female prime minister and that she’d teach Maggie a thing or two. And you, Laura – I’ve never seen anyone attack a Jelly Baby
with such precision and delight, always the red ones, head first, one decisive bite: then a slow demolition of the rest, limb by limb. Graceful, methodical and with the mouth of a killer.
The ever-efficient Sandra managed to reply before I noticed your message. (If you ever need a henchman, Sandra’s your woman. She’s worked for me for ten years and still scares me slightly! No matter: she runs
the office with Teutonic efficiency, leaving the rest of us to get on with the words.)
I’m terribly sorry to hear your marriage didn’t work out. Been there myself. Still, your mother always used to say you were a brave little thing. I remember when you split your head open on a bumper car pole at the Hampstead Easter fair shortly after Jane started working for me. She told us you’d taken it all
in your stride until you realised your sister had eaten your Cadbury’s Creme Egg while you’d been having your stitches sewn, then all hell broke loose.
Unfortunately, as Sandra notes we have no vacancies in subs (though don’t worry about a course – the laws of grammar haven’t changed much recently). We run a supremely lean, post-financial crisis ship here – eleven full-time staff, the rest freelance.
There is one vacancy – though I only mention it because we were about to advertise. It’s far too junior and the pay won’t be in line with your current salary. In fact I’m sure it’s of no interest whatsoever. Regardless, I am looking for someone to replace my PA Maureen, who’s retiring at the age of 132 – or so she’d have us believe!