The Disappearing Duchess (10 page)

‘I believe this is our dance, Duchess?’

‘Yes, I believe it is,’ Lucinda said and offered her hand.

It was their second dance that evening. Andrew had marked her card twice at the beginning and their first
had been a waltz. This was a more lively country dance and she was soon laughing up at him as they threw themselves into the fun of it.

She was enjoying herself and it was not until the end of their dance, when she left Andrew to circulate and make sure that all her guests were having a good time, that she noticed Justin staring at her.

She inclined her head and smiled at him. His look was neither hostile nor angry, but rather puzzled, a little whimsical, as if he were trying to make up his mind about something.

She wondered what he was thinking. He had opened the dancing with her and she’d seen him dance with Jane Lanchester and one or two of his relatives, including Sir John’s wife, but mostly he seemed content to move about the room, engaging his friends in conversation.

* * *

He approached her at supper and asked if she were having a pleasant evening.

‘Yes, Justin,’ she said and smiled without restraint. ‘I think it has all gone well, do you not agree?’

‘Everyone is congratulating me on my choice of a wife. They like your manner, Lucinda, and the refreshing change you have brought to Avonlea.’

‘Oh…’ Her cheeks burned. ‘I am just being myself. I might have sent to London for the decorations had I thought there was time, but I was not sure who to use—and I enjoyed making the decorations myself.’

‘As a first attempt it was well done,’ he said, a note of qualified approval in his voice. ‘I dare say people
are prepared to be generous to a young and lovely bride holding her first ball.’

‘Thank you, Justin. I shall, of course, consult your mother’s diaries in the future now that I understand you prefer a more professional approach.’

Keeping her head high and refusing to let herself be hurt, Lucinda walked away from him to join her guests. Was everyone just being kind because it was her first ball? She had thought they genuinely liked what she’d done, but it seemed that Justin thought her efforts were amateur and not up to the standard he was accustomed to. If they were just humouring her, it was too lowering.

‘Your Grace.’ A lady she had met only briefly earlier that evening came sailing up to her. She was wearing a purple gown, but had sewn black beads to the hem and now Lucinda noticed that she had stars, a moon and a black cat repeated around the gown. ‘May I congratulate you on your theme this evening? I love the way you have done these little murals and the hangings are so effective—as are the lanterns now that the light has gone outside.’

‘How kind of you, Lady Morgan. I fear it is all a little amateurish, but I was not sure who to consult in the matter of decoration.’

‘Not at all, I am all for using your own talent, Lucinda—may I call you Lucinda? I am giving a house party next month and I should like your advice about a theme I have in mind. Perhaps we could talk in the morning?’

Lucinda felt a rush of emotion. ‘I should be delighted. I am grateful for your approval, Lady Morgan.’

‘Do call me Veronica, my dear. I have every hope that we shall become good friends.’

‘Yes, I hope so, too.’ Lucinda swallowed hard. The lady’s approval, coming as it did after Justin’s remarks, had made her emotional. ‘I have few real friends in society as yet.’

‘But everyone likes you,’ Lady Morgan said. ‘You will be the toast of the town when you go to London in the spring.’

‘You are so kind.’ Lucinda smiled, the cloud lifting. She was by nature a happy person and she determined that she would gain friends and make her life as pleasant as possible. ‘I shall look forward to our talk tomorrow—at about eleven, if that suits you?’

‘Perfectly.’ Lady Morgan smiled. ‘I hope you did not mind my bringing my nephew with me? Simon was staying and asked if he might accompany me.’

‘You mean Mr Royston?’ Lucinda glanced at the young man standing a few feet away. He was, she noticed, staring at her oddly, but smiled and inclined his head as he saw her interest. ‘No, of course not. Had I known he was your guest I should have added his name to the invitation.’

‘I was sure that would be your answer. I believe him to be a great admirer of yours, Duchess—but, of course, everyone will be at your feet after this evening,’ the
lady said before sailing majestically away to talk with her nephew.

Lucinda glanced at the young man once more. Something in his look at that moment made her feel uncertain, for his expression was calculating and cold rather than admiring. Briefly, she wondered why he’d told his aunt that he was an admirer. She did not recall having met the gentleman before that night, though there was something about him that disturbed her. Her thoughts were interrupted as someone spoke behind her.

‘Shall we dance?’

Lucinda turned in surprise to find Justin behind her. Her heart raced madly, because the expression in his eyes made her remember the first night they had met. She consulted her dance card and discovered she had a space; inclining her head, she accepted his outstretched hand.

‘Why not?’ she said. ‘We have danced only once this evening. In Harrogate we danced three times that first evening and my aunt forbade me to dance with you again for it looked so particular.’

‘I thought you the most perfect woman I had ever seen,’ Justin replied as he swept her into a waltz.

Lucinda tingled with pleasure. To be close to him like this was both a delight and a torture. She wanted to melt into him and let herself drift away on a cloud of enchantment, but kept a little distance between them. She must remember that she was a duchess.

Her throat was tight with emotion. If only her terrible
secret had not come between them, how happy she might have been. She wondered what their guests would think if they knew she had a secret child hidden in a cottage in the woods. Ladies who smiled on her this evening would no doubt turn from her in disgust if they guessed her shame.

‘What are you thinking?’

Justin’s voice scattered her thoughts, bringing a warm flush to her cheeks. ‘Nothing in particular.’

‘You looked sad—and that is my fault.’ Justin’s voice was suddenly deep, husky. ‘I do not mean to hurt you, Lucinda. I am sorry if I offended you earlier. Your decorations are delightful. I did not mean to be critical. Mama’s designers could not have done better.’

‘I am a mere amateur.’

‘Yes, but you have style and clever fingers. Your dress is charming. I hope you are satisfied with your ball?’

‘Yes, of course. I think the costumes are more medieval than like witches or wizards, but some people have gone to more trouble. Did you see the beading on Lady Morgan’s gown? She has motifs of witches, stars and cats.’

‘I had not noticed. Your gown looks like fairy gossamer.’

‘I am the Queen of the elves,’ Lucinda said and gave him the shy smile that had been missing for a while. ‘I think you must be an elf or a pixie.’

‘That was my theme. You wondered if anyone would
have the courage to come as an elf, so I thought I would oblige you, but I could not quite manage the ears. I tried to make some pointed ears, but they flopped and looked more like a rabbit.’

Lucinda’s laughter rang out, causing one or two heads to turn indulgently their way. ‘You needed something to stiffen them. I would have helped you had you asked me.’

‘I wanted to surprise you.’

‘You make a fine elf king even without the ears,’ Lucinda said. ‘I think Jane looks lovely this evening. Green suits her, do you not agree?’

‘Miss Lanchester is always elegant, but her looks pale beside yours, Lucinda. Indeed, you outshine most ladies of my acquaintance.’

‘Only most?’ She tipped her head to one side, teasing him. ‘Your cousin Alfred was far more flattering. He said I was the most beautiful woman in England.’

‘Alfred was probably in his cups,’ Justin said and then looked struck. ‘No, I did not mean that—you are, but he has a reckless tongue when he drinks too much wine.’ He pulled a wry face and laughed, his eyes sparkling. ‘I am not making it better, am I?’

‘No, but I understand you.’ Lucinda smiled forgivingly. This was the man she had fallen in love with. He had come back to her, at least for a little while. ‘Your cousin is a pleasant gentleman, but over-fond of his wine and a little expansive in his compliments.’

‘You are very forgiving,’ Justin said and there was
an odd reflective expression in his eyes. ‘I should try to follow your lead.’

‘The case is rather different. I had little to forgive,’ Lucinda said and then wished she had not as the smile faded from his lips.

‘We shall not speak of it again,’ Justin said and his lips tightened. ‘I have made up my mind. We shall be husband and wife in truth and forget the past.’

‘As you wish, Justin. I have never wished for anything else.’

Lucinda smiled serenely, but her heart was thumping so hard that she could scarcely breathe and she felt a spasm that was half-nerves, half-delight curl through her stomach.

Then, feeling that she was being watched, she turned her head and saw that Mr Royston was staring at her again. There was such a strange expression in his eyes—a look almost of gloating. A shiver of ice trickled down her spine. Why would a man she hardly knew look at her so knowingly?

* * *

Simon Royston’s eyes followed the beautiful duchess as she moved gracefully through the dance. She was undoubtedly a great success. Her first ball had hit the right note and everyone was talking of her wit and talent. She was thought to be a great asset to the duke.

A sly rather unpleasant smile touched Royston’s mouth as he wondered what some of these proud ladies would think, if they knew as much as he did. His gaze narrowed as the young duchess glanced at him. She
turned away, a faint flush in her cheeks, as though she found his interest in her disturbing. Laughter rose inside him as he savoured his secret. The time was coming when he would put his knowledge to good use.

His misfortune was that he had expensive tastes. For the past two years or more he had been living beyond his means, his lifestyle supported by a run of luck at the tables. Of late his luck had deserted him. Royston was deeply in debt. His aunt had given him a thousand guineas, warning him it was the last time that she would pay his debts. He’d gambled on doubling his stake and lost. On the verge of fleeing abroad for a year or two, he’d stumbled across something that could make his fortune.

All he had to do was choose his moment.

T
he ball was over and the guests who had but a short journey to their homes were taking their leave, while those who had come some distance were saying good-night and going up to their rooms.

‘It was a lovely evening,’ Jane Lanchester said as she kissed Lucinda’s cheek. ‘I enjoyed myself so much. You must dine with us soon, Lucinda.’

‘I shall look forward to it. I believe we have two engagements for next week, but nothing the following week.’

‘Then keep the Tuesday night free,’ Jane said. ‘Andrew will ride over with the formal invitation in a day or so.’

‘Yes, I shall put it in my journal,’ Lucinda said. She offered her hand to Andrew, who took it and kissed it. ‘I hope you enjoyed yourself, Lord Lanchester?’

‘Indeed, I did, Duchess,’ he said and grinned at her.
‘Alack, there were no damsels in distress, but perhaps another time.’

‘He is incorrigible,’ Jane said and gave him a push towards the door. ‘I pity his poor wife when he marries.’

‘Why should I need a wife when I have a sister to nag me?’ he asked, but his eyes were merry and there was affection for her in his voice.

‘Is that the last?’ Justin came up to her as she went back into the hall. ‘A few of the gentlemen wish to play cards. You must be tired, Lucinda. I shall not come to you tonight—or should I say this morning? We shall begin our new life this new day, my love.’

‘Good night, Justin.’ Lucinda wasn’t certain whether she felt sorry or relieved that he did not intend to visit her that night. When she was in his arms she longed for more than the sweet kisses that turned her flesh to melting need, but how would she respond when he wanted more of her?

For a moment a memory flashed into her mind, causing her to shudder. Resolutely, she dismissed it. She had faced and conquered her fears before promising to wed Justin. That evil man would not ruin her chance of happiness! She refused to let what he’d done to her overshadow her life.

Justin was a gentleman, courteous and caring. She had believed she was ready to overcome her memories and become his proper wife. However, their estrangement had left her feeling a little uncertain of her husband’s true feelings. For a moment as he’d looked at
her earlier, she’d felt he truly cared for and wanted her and she wanted nothing more than to be that man’s wife—but she would hate it if he came to her in anger or with indifference.

She wanted Justin to love her, deeply, passionately, as she loved him, but she was very afraid that he never would now. He wanted a wife to give him heirs, a woman he could be proud to call his duchess. Lucinda must strive to become that woman.

Going upstairs to her room, she found Alice sitting up for her.

‘You should have gone to bed, Alice. I could have managed.’

‘It is my job to sit up for you and my privilege,’ Alice replied. ‘You know I would do much more if you asked it of me.’

‘I have not asked yet, but I may do so quite soon,’ Lucinda said. ‘If I told you a very private secret, you would not repeat it to a soul?’

‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’

‘Then perhaps I shall soon now,’ Lucinda said. ‘But for now you may retire.’

Lucinda was thoughtful as she sat down to brush her hair. Justin disliked her going for long walks. If she furnished the two attic rooms with Alice’s help, she might bring her daughter and Nanny to the house.

She ought to ask Justin, of course, but if he was almost ready to forgive her she did not want to spoil things between them again. The empty rooms were
above the guestrooms. Except when they had house parties that wing of the house was usually empty. No one would notice if a child cried sometimes.

She was sleepy as she slid into bed and pulled the covers up around her. It was outrageous to think of hiding her daughter in the attics of her husband’s house, but Angela had been coughing recently and Nanny said she thought the cottage might be damp.

‘It had not been used for a while and I think the roof leaks when it rains,’ she’d said. ‘It will do during the summer, Lucinda, but repairs will need to be done before the winter if we are to stay here.’

She must think of something to tell the servants and Mrs Mann. Alice would be privy to the truth, but they could not hope to keep the child’s presence a secret for long.

She had told the doctor that Angela was her dead cousin’s child. It might be best to continue with the same tale. Perhaps if she told Justin she wanted to help her cousin’s child…

As soon as he saw Angela he would guess the truth. No, she could not lie to him, so she must try to keep her secret a little longer. Perhaps she could find another cottage for Nanny and her daughter, though if they were farther away it would make it difficult for her to visit.

Lucinda knew that she had been deliberately shutting out the thoughts uppermost in her mind. Justin had allowed her one more night to sleep alone, but after that he intended to claim his rights as her husband.

Her heart was racing as she settled down to sleep. She was apprehensive, because she was not sure how to receive him. He could be charming and gentle, but he could also be cold and forbidding—which man would come to her bed?

* * *

Justin yawned as he sought his bed after the last of the gentlemen had retired for the night. As host he had no choice but to keep his guests company until the end, but he had never felt less like playing cards.

Why did Lucinda have to be so very beautiful? Watching her laughing and dancing with their guests, he had felt a hot surging desire—a need so strong that it had taken all his willpower to keep from sweeping her up into his arms and running off with her somewhere private where he could make love to her.

He was not sure when his feelings had become more intense. At the beginning he’d believed he felt affection and liking for the shy sweet girl he’d asked to be his bride, but of late he had been aware of a change. Perhaps it was merely the frustration of knowing she lay such a short distance from his bed. A few strides and he could be with her—he could take her into his arms and…but he must be patient. He had quarrelled with his bride over something that was not her fault and could not expect her to fall into his embrace with cries of love.

He did want her to love him. Justin wrinkled his brow. He had not thought love important when he proposed, imagining that mutual respect and liking would suffice—but now he knew it would not. Something had
changed. He was not sure what or why, but it had suddenly become important that Lucinda should want him in her bed.

* * *

‘She has the snuffles again,’ Nanny said when Lucinda asked where her daughter was the next morning. ‘She was hot and miserable and so I left her in bed.’

‘This cottage is not suitable,’ Lucinda said. ‘I must make different arrangements for her.’

‘The child is strong and will be better soon,’ Nanny said. ‘But the bedrooms are cold and damp. I think I might bring our mattresses down here to the kitchens when it rains.’

‘It is not fit for either of you to be here,’ Lucinda said. ‘Leave it to me, Nanny. I shall find somewhere for you very soon—and now I must sit with Angela for half an hour. I do not wish to be away too long this morning, because we have guests.’

Lucinda found her daughter flushed and hot. She complained of a headache and a tummy ache, but after a while went back to sleep.

She must find somewhere for the child that was warm and dry, Lucinda thought as she walked back to the house that morning. Two of the attic rooms should be sufficient for their needs. Some of the rooms needed attention, but the two rooms she had thought in good condition would house Nanny and Angela—at least until she could find a better cottage close by.

Making up her mind to confide her secret to her maid, Lucinda quickened her step. Alice could carry up
bedding and one of the footmen could take up clean dry mattresses. There was a bedstead in each of the rooms, also a chest in one and a table and chair in the other.

It was not ideal, but it would have to do for the moment.

* * *

When she had eaten breakfast, Lucinda kept her appointment with Lady Morgan. They had spent a pleasant hour talking together before some of the gentlemen joined them for refreshments.

After nuncheon, the gentlemen had played a game of cricket on the lawns while the ladies had sat in basket chairs and applauded. Justin had scored the most runs for his team and, flushed with success, he had come to perch on a cushion at Lucinda’s feet when tea was brought.

At a quarter to six the ladies went up to change for dinner, the gentlemen following a few minutes later. As Lucinda was changing, the door to the dressing room opened and Justin came through. He was clad only in breeches and shirt, his feet bare. Lucinda’s heart caught, her breath coming faster because he looked so handsome and there was something very sensual about bare feet and his tight breeches. She felt her stomach tighten, a spasm of what she dimly recognised as desire shooting through her. In that moment she longed to be alone with him, to be held in his arms and kissed, feeling disappointed as he addressed the maid, ‘No, you need not go,’ he said as Alice curtsied and prepared to leave them together. ‘I came only to bring my wife a trinket.’

He laid a box on the dressing table. ‘You did very well today, dearest. I think we shall have permanent guests if you continue to make them so comfortable.’

‘Most are leaving tomorrow, Justin.’

‘Yes, I know, but my cousins will stay another day or so—and some of my friends have already invited themselves for the shooting next month.’

Lucinda opened the box he’d given her, gasping with pleasure as she saw the beautiful baroque pearl on a slender gold chain.

‘This is lovely, Justin. Thank you.’

‘I think you deserve it for all your hard work.’ He bent to kiss her cheek. ‘I shall come to you tonight,’ he murmured against her ear.

Lucinda nodded, but said nothing. She glanced at Alice as her husband went back through the dressing room to his own bedchamber.

‘Is everything prepared?’

‘Yes, my lady. I asked Jenkins to help me. He is very friendly towards me and he likes you. I told him you were bringing the child of a deceased relative here and needed somewhere quiet since the child has been ill.’

‘Did he think it strange that I should choose the attics rather than the nursery?’

‘He did not say so, my lady.’

‘Do not think I like to deceive my husband, Alice. I dare not tell him for fear that he would be angry and send her away.’

‘It isn’t right that you should have to hide the child,’
Alice said. ‘I had a cousin who bore a child out of wedlock and she was treated worse than a thief. You were not to blame for what happened, my lady. Why can others not accept the child and allow you to be happy?’

‘It is the way of society. An illegitimate child is a badge of shame, Alice. I could not expect my husband to allow me to keep her as my own—but if I could keep her openly as my cousin’s child it would content us both.’

‘Why do you not ask him? The duke is not an unkind man—though he has a fearful temper. I thought he might kill me when you disappeared after the wedding.’

‘Poor Alice. It was not your fault. Had my letter not fallen down behind the chest, he might not have been so angry.’

‘I think it must have been a gust of wind that blew it there. The window was open and the curtains had tangled when I returned. I closed the window, but never saw your note.’

‘I should have put it on the bed, but I was in too much distress to think clearly.’ Lucinda stood up to go downstairs. ‘I shall bring the child and Nanny here early in the morning. You must be ready for us and take them up the back stairs.’

‘Yes, of course, my lady. You know you can rely on me.’

Alice agreed readily, but looked a little doubtful, and Lucinda knew that her maid thought she ought to tell
her husband the truth. It would be the proper thing to do, but she was afraid of making him angry again.

Perhaps after they had become man and wife in truth it might be easier. If Justin were pleased with her, he would be more likely to accept her child into his house.

He was coming to her tonight. Her heart was racing as she left her room to go downstairs for dinner.

Would she please him? Was he truly ready to forgive her and to forget?

* * *

They had fewer guests that evening, but those that remained were either Justin’s relatives or his close friends and the atmosphere was relaxed. Lucinda laughed quite a lot, because his cousins flattered and teased her. Because she was enjoying herself the time soon passed and she found herself saying good-night to everyone. Justin said nothing, but his eyes told her that he was eager to visit her that night.

As soon as Alice had unfastened her gown and taken it away, Lucinda sent her to bed. She put on one of her prettiest wrapping gowns and sat brushing her hair before the dressing mirror. She had just applied a little perfume to her wrists and a spot behind her ears when the door of the dressing room opened and Justin came through.

He was wearing a long satin-striped dressing robe and his feet were bare. Lucinda guessed that he was not wearing anything beneath the robe and her pulses raced. She stood up anxiously, trying to still her nerves as she waited for him to come to her.

‘You look lovely as always,’ he said, his eyes dark with passion. ‘I have been thinking of this moment all day, Lucinda. I think we must put all the unpleasantness of the past weeks behind us and become husband and wife in the proper sense. I have been foolish to let my disappointment stand in the way of our marriage.’

‘You know that I am truly sorry for any pain I caused you?’

‘I believe you did not mean to hurt me. Perhaps you did not realise the agony I should feel not knowing whether you were in trouble—or even if you were alive.’

‘Had you found my note you might have understood at least a part,’ she said and, gathering her courage, moved towards him. ‘I do wish to be a good wife to you, Justin.’

‘You will be, just as I shall be a good husband,’ he said and smiled. ‘Come here, Lucinda. What happens now is meant to be a pleasure to both of us. I know you must have been deeply distressed and scarred by your experiences, but I shall not hurt you. I shall be gentle with you, though I hope in time you may learn to enjoy and anticipate our loving.’