The Dirty Anthology (8 page)

6

If she reacts to me that way I hope she does, I have no idea exactly how I’m going to respond. All I know for sure is that there won’t be anything slow, still, or calm about it.

Lexi blinks behind her glasses, her hands falling to her sides. Her eyes are locked on mine.

Her chest trembles with a shuddering breath.

The muscles of my back ripple with that breath. I clench my fists. My chest tenses.

She does it again, as if somehow feeding off what I feel.

Suddenly, it’s too damn hot in here. I rip off my windbreaker, leaving me in only my gray t-shirt.

Lexi’s eyes widen, then drop down the length of my body.

Fuck. I’m so ready for her.

Please tell me this means she’s ready for me.

I cross the distance between us in four strides, taking my time, each step methodical.

I’m giving her a chance. Letting her see me stalk toward her. What I plan to do when I get there.

That I’m waiting for her to open her mouth and protest.

She doesn’t.

And I’m in front of her now, head angled down to stare at her because she’s so short compared to me.

She tilts her head back slowly to stare up at me.

Her chest trembles again.

My fingers twitch with the need to grab her, haul her against me. By sheer force of will, I reach up slowly, giving her even more time to pull away.

She’ll never know how much it costs me. How hard it is for me to not just grab her like I want.

Like not breathing even though you’re suffocating. Like refusing a piece of steak after starving for over a week.

Her throat moves with a swallow, but she doesn’t move away. She remains there, still, waiting for me.

Fuck.

I cup her face in my hands.

Her lids flutter but she doesn’t let them close, those eyes going cloudy on me in a way I’d only dreamed of before now.

“Lexi . . .” I let my thumbs move across her soft cheeks.

Her lashes flutter again.

Lightning courses through my veins because this is it. This is the reaction I’d hoped for,
prayed
for, the one I knew deep down I was going to fucking get.

All I want to do is eat that juicy mouth of hers, but somehow I keep myself under a tight leash.

One that is quickly loosening, seconds away from breaking.

“Happy birthday,” I breath, my vision hazy from the force of my hunger for her.

Her eyes widen.

She thought I forgot. That I didn’t know.

I caress her cheeks with my thumbs one more time. “I never forgot,” I tell her softly, teeth grinding against each other.

Those pretty cheeks go pink, and her eyes shine with a mixture of confusion, shock, and delight.

That’s when I get worried. That glow in her eyes tears through the last of my self control. I waited years for her to talk to me again. To let me back into her life.

It seems like I waited my whole fucking life for her to stare up at me like that, with that little pleased look in her eyes.

Now that I have it, a force rips through me, one more powerful than I anticipated.

I’m meant to put that glow in her eyes.

Me.

I’m meant to be that for her. I know this more than I know my own name right now.

I’m meant to own this woman, every emotion in her, every ounce of her happiness.

Her body.

Holy fuck,
yes
. I’m going to have that body. I’m going crazy just thinking about it, but somehow I keep myself there.

I got my reaction. I can start exploring this attraction between us.

But I can’t do what my body wants. I want to fuck her right on the couch behind me.  Then I want to fuck her on the side table that’s up against the wall.

Lexi isn’t that type of girl. Not to me. She deserves for me to date her, make her my girl before I fuck her.

“Thank you.” Lexi nuzzles the palm of my hand.

I force myself to let go, because God, I want to fucking eat her and I can’t. “I . . . got you something.” Turning, I head over to grab the gift bag off the floor.

7

“You did?”

The surprise in her tone rubs me the wrong way. I resolve to gift her things as often as possible from now on. So that she’ll never again be surprised that I got her something.

When I straighten, Lexi is there, behind me, standing in front of the couch. She looks all excited, nervous—delicious in every way that counts.

I sit on the couch, holding the purple bag.

It’s her favorite color. Always has been.

Wonder if she picks up on the fact that I still remember that, too.

“Come here.” I watch hungrily as she slowly eases down onto the couch next to me. “It isn’t anything huge, or crazy. It’s something small, actually. I wanted to get you something I knew you would like—”

She cuts off my rambling. “Andrew. Give it to me.” Lexi smirks at me and holds out her hand.

It’s a sad, sad fact that while I stare at her outstretched hand, the gift bag is the very last thing I want to give her. Well, I do want to give it to her, but first, I want her to hold something else. A part of my body.

And not just the obvious part, either. I’d be happy just having her small hand wrapped around my own.

Ah, shit. That’s more than sad. It borders on pathetic. What the hell is this girl turning me into?

Oh, but I know. Don’t fucking like it; can’t fucking fight it.

“Drew?”

She hasn’t called me by that nickname since we were kids.

I go hot at the sound of it. So freaking hot.
Blazing.
The urge to rip off my clothes is ridiculous.

“Here.” I hand her the bag and brace my elbows on my knees, my clenched fists hanging in between.
Don’t reach for her. Don’t touch her.

For the first time, I honestly hope Lexi isn’t a virgin. I’m not going to be able to be gentle with her once I’m in her.

She reaches into the bag. Her brow scrunches when she pulls out the wooden box in it. She turns it around and her eyes widen when she spots the necklace hanging inside, right in front of the Harry Potter logo etched into the small mirror.

Her shocked eyes lock on mine. “Drew,” she gasps.

Don’t fucking touch her.

I clench my fists harder.

“You got me a time turner?” Her low, tender tone makes her voice sound even sexier.

And makes me feel like I’m the most accomplished motherfucker walking the Earth.

See? Told you. It’s my job to put that happy little look on her face and her reaction right now just proved it.

I barely stop myself from puffing out my chest like some cocky loser. “Well, it was either that, or Hermoine’s wand,” I tell her. “And I saw it hanging out of your bag the other day. So . . . knew you had it.”

Lexi opens the box with shaking hands and brings the necklace out. The chain glints in the light. I made sure to get her a custom-made, gold version of the necklace. No way I was getting her the fake shit.

“How did you know I love Harry Potter? Just because you saw the wand?” She doesn’t look up at me, eyes still glued on the necklace in her hand.

Which is fine by me, like that she can’t see the look on my face when I answer, “No. It’s because I pay attention to you. A lot of it.”

Our eyes lock again.

“Drew . . . “ She stops and swallows heavily.

What does that look in her eyes mean? Damn it,
what
?

“Thank you so much.”

I open my mouth to respond—

Lexi leans forward and presses a kiss right against the corner of my lips.

8

My uncle clearing his throat rips the memory from me. I feel the loss of it so acutely that I want to push him into the wall for taking it from me.

He didn’t actually take it from me. It’s still there, etched into every piece of my mind, lurking. As always. All I need to do is turn my attention to it, just a little, and I’ll be overcome again. Transported right back to that night.

I can’t. My uncle is standing in front of a set of large doors that lead into the main lab of the applied sciences division; a branch of our IT department.

However, we strictly develope hardware in this part of the department, something only a select few people know right now. We’re planning on taking the market by storm.

That explains the need for the handprint and retinal scanner next to the doors.

“ ‘Drew?” My uncle waves at the scanner. He doesn’t bother to ask the question that I once again see in his eyes:
Are you alright?

I step up to the scanner and place my hand on it, then bend slightly to let it scan my eye next. My uncle has the same level of clearance I have—absolute—but he wants me to get used to doing all this by myself.

Not that small shit like this is difficult, but it was never my intention to take over this company—that is, until the day I realized it’d be the perfect revenge against my father—and I’d made that very clear to everybody after I lost Lexi.

My uncle prides himself on being a better father figure to me than my father was.

He is. Always has been. That’s why I let him have his fatherly moments where he gets to show me around and “teach” me everything I need to know.

The doors unlock and we walk inside. I haven’t been here in a while and I’m impressed with the set-up now that it’s all done. This entire part of the division was completed in less than eight months. Considering the scope and size of it all, and the sheer amount of equipment in here, it’s a huge feat.

My uncle nods toward a group of men standing in front of a large LCD.

I follow him over to them, taking in the image on the screen. Python coding stares back at me—one of the main languages in software development.

I don’t have enough time to read through all of it but I’m pretty sure the group of men we’re approaching are the ones heading the Providence project.

Sure enough. We stop in front of the work station facing the LCD and I spot the large black goggles on top of it.

Rumors leaked late last year that Menahan had begun making their own version of the Oculus Rift, the video gaming goggles currently being developed. The Oculus Rift goggles will allow gamers to virtually step into the worlds of the games they play and visually experience them as if they’re inside it.

Menahan, that little bastard, has no interest in the gaming world. He’s into informational theft. He disguises it by presenting his “innovations” to the public as regular security software advancements.

But we all know what his clients truly hire him for.

My uncle and I are also very aware who one of Menahan’s main targets is going to be.

Us.

That scumbag has a personal vendetta against us.

Against
me
.

That’s okay, though. I have an ever bigger one against him.

He’s one of the people that hurt Lexi.

He has no fucking idea what’s coming to him.

My uncle makes quick work of introducing me to the group of men surrounding the Providence goggles; mainly, Paul Rundlett, the man leading the entire project. “Paul here is working directly with the head of our IT department. He left Menahan when she left and came to us alongside her.”

Paul smiles at me, his blue eyes lighting up at the mention of the new head of IT. “I’d follow that girl anywhere and she knows it. Berkman is a bloody genius and working alongside her is a pleasure.”

A name. One that isn’t even that unique. He could’ve been talking about anyone.

Don’t ask me how I knew he wasn’t. I just did.

My veins go ice cold.

My focus becomes engaged on him and only him.

I’m probably staring at him like a goddamned lunatic but I don’t care. “What was that name again?”

Paul blinks. “Uh . . . Berkman? She’s the main developer on the Providence software now. Did you get a chance to meet Lexi yet?”

The world spins dangerously. I stagger back, feeling like I’ve just been hit.

And that’s when I catch sight of my uncle’s wide eyes and the expression on his face.