The Diary of Bink Cummings: Vol 1 (MC Chronicles #1) (26 page)

“Why did you do it?” The pain in his voice makes me
ache.

“Do what?”

“Hurt yourself,” he whispers, his lips resting in my
hair, his hot breath bathing my scalp.

I will not dignify that question with an answer. I
don’t know why I even cared enough to have a nuthouse meltdown in the first
place. I guess there’s a first time for everything. Didn’t think I’d ever see
this one though. If this is how I will feel hearing or seeing Big with any
woman, after the things we’ve done and what he’s said to me, then I can’t be
around him anymore. And I don’t mean just space. I mean ever. It scared the
shit out of me. I lost control, and I never do that. Or hardly ever.

I hyperventilated. I felt like my world was literally
coming to an end. Was it a panic attack? I don’t know. Never had one before.
But it was something, and it wasn’t good, in the least bit.

“Just put me down, Big,” I gently order, less
demanding this time. Avoiding the whole confrontation is what I plan to do.
See, avoidance, I knew I had that character flaw. What did I tell ya?

Hesitantly, Big lowers me to the floor, still wrapped
in his arms. “You need to get washed up.” He lovingly says, “And I will call
the doctor.”

“I don’t need a doctor,” I state, barely above a
whisper. Inhaling deeply, Big’s masculine scent seeps into my every cell,
making me want to weep. I can’t do this any longer. Not after this new
revelation, where my feelings for the man I’ve spent my entire life, knowing
inside and out, have changed into something more than family love. Hearing him with
Niki was education enough on my innermost feelings that I typically lock up
tighter than Fort Knox, or desperately try to stomp down and run away from.
Avoiding them, ignoring them, or whatever else that works. Now I accept that I
feel for Big, but I also accept that I cannot be his old lady because him with
another woman may only crush me now but it would kill me later. My
self-preservation is too strong to willingly succumb to that fate.

Knowing that I need to relax and wash the blood from
my hair, I solemnly mutter, “Take me to the shower.”

Releasing me, Big drops to his knees on the ground.
The sadness that is pouring off him clouds the air. His normally handsome face
is void of any emotion except sorrow. This is the end for us. I feel it, and
maybe deep down, he feels it too.

Curving his hands over the lip of my PJ pants, Big
drags them down my legs, to pool around my ankles. I step out of them, along
with my boots. Next he tugs the hem of my shirt up and over my head. Exposing
me completely to him. I don’t shy away. I let him drink in my body because this
will be the very last time he ever sees it.

Pushing off the floor to stand, Big removes his shirt,
allowing it to fall on the floor. Dropping his jeans and boxers to the ground,
he steps out, and he too is fully naked. Taking my time, I drink in his form.
The deep V at his hips. The beautiful, intricate tattoos that span the length
of his chest and abs, down his thick arms, and the tops of his meaty thighs.
He’s beautiful. A perfect Adonis birthed into this world. And in this moment,
he’s all I see, hear, smell and want nothing more than to touch. His cock hangs
semi-hard, atop his wonderfully heavy balls. They too are perfect. Even the
wide span of Big’s shoulders is breathtaking. I bite my lip, reveling in every
inch, every nook, every tattoo, and every scar that makes Big the man I’ve
loved my whole life. The asshole, the control freak, the caretaker, the savior,
the man with the rainbow Band-Aids, my homecoming date. All of him.

We remain quiet, heavily breathing, raking out gazes
across one another’s bare flesh. My soft pillowy curves, and my wide hips
clashing with Big’s hard, ripped body. The only softness that lies upon him is
held within his eyes. The blues that are both hard and soft wrapped in thick
lashes and endearing age lines.

Walking backward, my eyes still on him, I slowly slide
into the bathroom. Big advances, following me inside. Both of us, without a
word step into his shower, and he turns on the water. The cool turns to warmth
and splashes my feet until he pulls the lever and the water sprays us from
above. Pulling me to him, Big embraces my form, and I wrap my arms around his
torso, holding him too. My head is lying on his chest, listening intently to
the lub-lub of his heart.

I will remember this night forever.

With a little work, Big maneuvers me under the warm
spray. The blood in my hair washes over my pale skin, turning it light red as
the fresh water swirls with it until all the blood is gone, leaving my hair
clean once more.

“I wish you wouldn’t have done that,” Big whispers,
caressing my spine, up and down in sweet contentment.

I sigh, “I wish you wouldn’t have hurt me by sleeping
with Niki, one of the many.”

“I didn’t know you were here.” He is calm and sweet
when he says it, but it stings nonetheless.

“Would that really have mattered?” I mutter, resting
my chin on his chest, my eyes glancing up to see his face. The water cascading
down my backside. Steam rolls around us. But I can see him clearly, and feel
every part of him. And I love it, even if it pains me. Even if this new,
strange revelation scares me. I know it’s not going to last. So I’ll revel in
it now, if only for a little while.

Big’s weepy eyes collide with mine. “I would have
waited,” he whispers.

Another shooting pain stabs my heart and twists, and
I’m forced to swallow the hardened lump in my throat. This is too much.

“Why won’t you sleep with me? You want everyone else.
You sleep with them all. But never with me,” I painfully whisper, holding his
gaze, chewing nervously on my inner lip.

“I want to be with you more than anyone else.” He
frowns, bringing his lips down and pressing a sweet kiss to my forehead. “But I
can’t.”

My tone hardens, “Can’t? Or won’t?”

“Is that what you want? Is that what will make you
happy? To have me inside of you?” Big’s hand stops moving, and lingers at the
slope of my back, awaiting my reply.

I don’t have to think about it. I nod, slowly,
repeatedly, holding firm eye contact. Conveying all of my emotions to him in a
single, needy look.

A flash of something strange, something I could almost
describe as vulnerable briefly washes over Big’s features, and then is gone, as
fast as it came.

Shutting down the water, Big lifts me from the shower,
hooking my legs over his arms, as if I am weightless. And he carries me into
the bedroom, laying me face down across the mattress. Crawling up behind me, he
leans over my back, his legs straddling mine. The thickness of rock-hard cock
presses into the seam of my ass, as the heat of his chest ascends, connecting
with my back and I groan, burying my face into the mattress. My hands fisting
in the crumpled bed sheets, soaking in this magnificent moment, as my arousal
courses through me like a wildfire. I’m instantly wet. My pussy begs me to fill
her, with each clenching and unclenching of her muscles.

“Is this what you want?” Big hotly whispers, his lips
tantalizing the shell of my ear. The heat of his breath wafting excitedly over
my flesh. I shiver beneath him in sheer delight as his cock grinds into the meat
of my ass.

“Yes,” I hiss, curling my back into his chest.

“Listen, Sugar Tits.” He kisses the back of my neck.
“I’m going to fuck you.” Another kiss. “And I hope you understand that I don’t
do sweet. I don’t do slow. And I’m going to bury myself into your sexy little
cunt and make you come so hard that you’re not gonna remember your name
tomorrow,” Big deliciously explains, with his lips provocatively brushing the
nape of my neck, making me wetter and wetter with each enticing stroke.

I can’t explain why those dirty words coming so gently
off his succulent lips turn me on that much. They just do. I’ve wanted him so
badly for what feels like a lifetime. I will do whatever, say whatever, be
whatever he wants, just so I can experience this everlasting moment with him
that I will carry with me always.

Peppering kisses down the back of my neck and across
my shoulders, goose pimples rise, and I whimper, my body electrifying higher
and higher with each bewitching touch.

“You’re so soft, sweetheart.” His tongue traces my
shoulder blade, “So beautiful.” Trailing his tongue along my spine, I coo,
shaking beneath him.

“Big,” I lightly moan, calling his name, wanting him
to ravish me, fuck me, and live up to all the promises he has made known. I
don’t know if I can take this. I am on fire. My body burns for him.

“You’re so wet for me, Sugar Tits. I can smell you.”
He audibly inhales, scenting the air and my arousal that is dripping from
between my folds. “And fuck if that doesn’t make me wanna sink my dick into ya
right now,” he growls, leaning back onto his knees, his calloused hands
appreciatively gliding over the deep curves of my body, across my plush ass,
down the backs of my thighs and up again.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he mutters to himself,
gripping my wide hips and digging his fingers deliciously into my flesh.
Yanking my hips up from the bed, he silently orders me onto my knees and pries
my legs apart. Opening up my plump pussy lips for him to feast his eyes upon.

“So wet,” he grunts, settling his giant body between
my parted legs.

I quiver with anticipation. My heart thundering wildly
in my chest, my excited breaths coming out in short sexually charged spurts.

This is it.

Licking my dry lips, I breathe, “I want you.”

I’m lost in the insurmountable sensation as his rough
hands sexually slither along my thighs again, to my knees and back up. Where he
circles the faintest of touches across my ass cheeks and inward until he meets
my crevice and his fingertips skim the sensitive skin of my inner cheeks and
pussy lips. Shifting behind me, his hands are soon replaced with the thickness
of his hard, pre-come soaked cock. Gliding it between my folds, he dampens his
rod, and I jolt forward as it connects with my throbbing clit.

“Do you like that?” he taunts, driving the head of his
member against my clit again.

Oh God, I think I might come.

“Yesss,” I hiss, propelling my hips backward, my head
and shoulders still resting on the mattress.

Jabbing my little hardened nub with his cock he bucks
into it, forcefully driving sparks of pleasure to wrack through my body. Thrust
after thrust, his cock drives me closer and closer to coming, and I moan,
closing my eyes, focusing on his exquisite onslaught.

“Fuck, I gotta stop this,” he grunts, and suddenly his
cock stops and I am flipped into the air with a squeal. Landing onto my back
and maneuvering me quickly, Big piles all three of his bed pillows under my
hips, and positions my upper back and shoulders flat against the headboard so I
am almost folded in half. Without stopping, he opens my legs and I see it all.
My swollen clit, the reddened lips of my awaiting pussy, and the head of his
monstrous cock as he readies himself between my outstretched thighs.

“Take in a deep breath and watch me, Eva. Watch me.”
Big holds his shaft and guides the head of his cock to my entrance.

Shit, he’s going to tear me apart. He hasn’t prepped
me.

“Big,” I whimper, with both worry and anticipation.
“It’s been a while and you’re…” I trail off, my eyes glued to his massive cock
and I swallow, hard.

“Take a deep breath,” he repeats, and I am listening
this time. “I want to fuck you, sweetheart. I want to watch my cock stretch
you.”

I briefly nod, understanding. Slowly, the arousal
soaked head of his beautiful veiny cock stretches me. And I shudder, my legs
uncontrollably shaking as my body feels like it’s been torn open.

“Arg!” I cry out in pleasure-pain, seizing his
shoulders, as my nails imbed into his flesh, for support. Forcing him to expel
a grunt.

“Watch…it…” He swallows hard, his eyes latched onto
his cock inching its way into my tight wanton core. “I can’t believe I’m doing
this,” Big whispers to himself, transfixed. “Your pussy is tighter than I
thought, Sugar Tits. I don’t want to hurt you. You’ve got to tell me if it
does, okay?” His vibrant lust filled eyes shoot to mine, and I shakily nod.

“Okay.”

Halfway inside, my back arches, thrusting my breasts
upward, I wail out in red-hot pain, swirling with a deep seeded pleasure.
Shit, he’s inside me, Big is in my pussy, it feels
…
He pushes in a bit further.
Oh…

Screwing my eyes shut, I can no longer watch him
entering me. It’s too much. It feels…
oh
fuck…

Big’s hips swiftly thrust forward, bottoming out into
my pussy and I scream, furiously squeezing his shoulders, as his cock stills in
the depths of my quivering hole. My entire body trembles, and my breath stalls
in my chest.

Oh God, Oh
God…it…fuck…

“It’s okay.” He’s gentle, treating me like a delicate
flower. Leaning forward, he lingers a warm kiss in the center of my forehead,
my temple, and down my cheek. “It’s okay, Bink, take a deep breath, the worst
is over.”

My teeth chatter. “It burns, Big. Oh, fuck, you’re
huge,” I whimper, feeling so full that I might explode at any moment. His cock
feels like it’s resting in my stomach. I can’t believe this.

“I know, I know and I’m sorry.” He’s sweet. “Just let
me pull out a little, Sugar Tits, and let me stretch your pussy then I’ll fuck
you. I
need
to fuck you.” His
voice quivers with his last sentence and I open my eyes to see that same
vulnerability I once saw, all over again. Except this time, it’s permanently
mingled in his expression, amidst the rawness of extreme carnal lust and fierce
desire.

He wants me
,
my mind repeats on a reel. And I feel a sense of triumph over the realization
that this is something we both desire, we both want to share. A feeling of
understanding that I know I will never be with anyone else in my life. Not like
him.