The Devlin Deception: Book One of The Devlin Quatrology (56 page)

“But things keep coming up, like those bombs over in Miami and
up in New York last Sunday.”

“God, those were horrible.”

“I'd like to figure a way to get those in somehow.”

“That may be too close, too emotional.”

“But on beaches? That's outrageous.”

“I know, I know. But we – I mean you do need to come up
with a cutoff date, a deadline, if you ever want to get this thing
out.”

“Well, how about right after the Olympics … or maybe
after the conventions?”

“The Dems and Pubs, you mean?”

“Yeah. I mean, I've done most of the natural disasters that
have come up since December, and Donne's handled those as best he
could, and now it's looking like there's gonna be a drought this
summer, from what I've seen on the news.

“And then there's all that foreign stuff, like with Israel and
Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq and on and on.”

“Sure you want to keep all that stuff in?”

“You know, I'm not. I'm still rolling back and forth between
the two stories, the fiction of Donne and the reality of us and the
beach and current events. It's tricky, for me, at least.”

“You know, as I bounce back and forth, I've gotten used to the
two timelines; I think you could probably do away with the 'Six
Months Earlier' and that kind of stuff. I'd think readers should be
able to follow those time shifts pretty easily by now.”

“Hmm; maybe I could get rid of those – no, I'll leave
them in for the first parts, then drop 'em. How's that?”

“Works for me.

“On the natural disasters, I think you showed how he does stuff
with the tornadoes in Kentucky and Indiana in … what ...
March?”

“I think so, but I don't remember how I --”

“I think it was just a question in a press conference. I
think.”

“Oh, right, right. Yeah, that was it. I guess I'm just more
focused on the economic stuff with Donne, trying to figure out how
that all works out over time.”

“And the assassination plots.”

“Of course. And I'm getting a little more scared, I guess;
still a few more death threats in my inbox. I think you were right;
I was way too loose in giving out the link.”

“Well, that's blood under the bridge, Jake. We'll deal with
those like we did with that first batch last fall.”

“Okay. So where are we now?”

“Well, I have some news. My ex-boss was one of the agents
fired over that hooker scandal in Colombia last month.”

“Really? Raunchy Randy?”

“You remember his nickname?”

“Kinda stuck in my head. So how do you feel about that?”

“Deserved what he got. 'Nuff said.”

“I think I put something in about him somewhere, maybe …
oh, right. It's in the bit after the currency announcement, when
Donne talks with you – I mean you as the Secret Service
director.”

“Have I seen that? I don't remember it.”

“Uh … not yet. Still got some cleaning up to do.”

“Okay. I'll look forward to seeing it. I hope you made me –
I mean her ugly.”

“Well, sort of; I think I just dropped a hint or two, nothing
major.”

“Speaking of ugly, I'd love it if you could put something in
about the primaries; those are sure getting nasty.”

“Oh, just wait till the general after the conventions. I'll
bet ugly and nasty won't begin to describe that one.”

“The one in '10 was pretty bad … and '08 was awful.”

“Oh, yeah. And you were on the inside for that.”

“Yup, both Bush and Obama. I wish I could tell you about all
the crap that went on in there with both of 'em.”

“Oh, yeah; I'd love to hear about that. But I understand.

“But with no more elections under Donne, no more primaries,
either.”

“Right; he's non-partisan.”

“Oh, I think he's beyond that, far beyond it. He's
anti-partisan.”

“Oh, nice word.”

“Lots more accurate that either non- or bi-.”

“Oh, I did like how you slipped that stuff in about the GSA's
800 thousand dollars wasted in Vegas.”

“That's exactly the kind of stuff that pisses Donne off …
and me and most taxpayers, too.”

“Me, too. Gave every federal employee a black eye.”

“And gave every taxpayer an emptier wallet.”

“So true.”

“And then that whole thing with that retailer allegedly bribing
officials in Mexico to expand down there. And those corrupt idiots
in Congress are making all kinds of self-righteous, pious BS over
that. Geez.”

“I've got a note about that here. And then there's that order
to install handicap lifts at every public swimming pool in the
country.”

“Right; I saw that. Wasn't there one hotel that had installed
one eight years ago and used it fifteen times … or was it
fifteen years ago and used it eight times? One of the two. And now
they want to make every public pool install one. More regulatory
stupidity.

“Takes me back to the Gulf oil spill, when the regulators kept
the skimmers from doing anything because they couldn't meet the 99
percent pure water output standard. I mean, if they managed to get
rid of 75 or 80 percent, that's better than doing nothing. Idiots.
Just made it worse.

“I swear, the more research I do, the angrier I get. It all
just gets more and more corrupt; it's ubiquitous. And that's just
the stuff I can find as a plain ol' citizen and taxpayer.”

“Easy, Jake. Your blood pressure's going up.”

“Yeah; it might be even up to normal. Damn.”

“Let's get into the water for a while.”

“Good idea; that'll help.”

As they headed into the Gulf, with only a quick yelp, Pam said, “Nice
that the water's up to 82.”

“Noodleable at last. A long winter.”

Pam surveyed the shoreline. “It's a lot quieter now, too,
isn't it?”

“Yup. May and September, the quietest months. In fact, Deb
closes her hot dog stand for all of September, waiting for the Return
of the Snowbirds.” He made that last bit sound like a movie
title.

“They say tourists and snowbirds are like women; can't live
with 'em, can't live without 'em.”

“That's not you, Pam; that's for sure. You are the most
patient, tolerant, thoughtful and smartest woman I've ever known.”

“You left out sexy, Sexy.”

“Oh, with you, Pam, that's a given. It's like saying, 'Oh,
there's air in the atmosphere.'”

“Why, suh, y'all say the nahcest thangs.”

“Geez, Belle, that thar had a bit of a Texas twang at th' end.”

“Guess I'm picking up more and more stuff from you, Tex.”

“And I from you, m'dear.”

Justin leaned over to Lindsay and whispered, “I think we got
some good stuff in there.”

Lindsay whispered back, “Oh, yeah. The client should be very
happy with that.”

“But what's with the Belle and Tex stuff?”

Sharon's rasp came over their earbuds, “They're falling in
love, kids. Geez. Can't you tell? That's when the nicknames
start.”

“But we've been together for a dozen years and we don't have
nicknames,” Lindsay whined.

“Then you're not really in love yet. Work it out. But not
now; keep your eyes and ears open.”

-114-

Friday, January 3, 2013

8:30 p.m.

The Oval Office

The White House

via a 24-hour news channel

Gordon Donne, dressed in his usual casual clothing, his fringe of
hair a bit thinner and grayer, his face paler, smiled into the
camera.

“Good evening, my fellow Americans, and Happy New Year.

“It's been a little over a year since I've been doing my best
to serve you and this country. In my mind, it's been a pretty good
year, and it seems we're well on our way to full recovery. Tonight,
I can only give you a brief overview, but I know everyone watching
has seen what has been going on for themselves, and you'll all have
your own experience to rely on much more than whatever I tell you.

“First, of course, I want to talk about the economy. Last
year, 2012, working together, we got the unemployment rate down to
6.7 percent, as we heard this morning, and put more than six million
people back to work and paying taxes. We don't have the final GDP
numbers yet, but based on the first three quarters' reports and an
educated guesstimate on the fourth, it's looking like we'll be coming
in at just over three and a half percent growth for the year, pretty
much in line with my expectations and a good first-year start on
getting to my goal of ten percent annual growth within eight years.
Congratulations!

“Now, I want to warn everyone that what I am about to say is
not at all in my usual character. But to the one economist who had
the low line on that spaghetti chart I showed you all a year ago, the
one that started with the Gulf Coast and hurricanes and morphed into
an economic projection graph, to you, Paul, I just have to go out on
a limb and say, 'Nah-nah-nah-nah-naah-nah.' Sorry, gang; I just had
to do that, couldn't resist.

“But, seriously, folks, I'm quite pleased with how well you all
have been doing with the taxes and rules the way I set them up a year
ago.

“Now, I know we've had our share of tragedies and disasters
this past year, like the tornadoes in Kentucky and Indiana, the
drought in the Midwest, the May 6th bombings in Miami and New York,
Tropical Storm Debby, Hurricanes Isaac and Valerie, not to mention
all the problems at our Mideast embassies on September 11th and after
that.

“I know the government's responses to the natural disasters
could never have been sufficient; we're just not that good at
fighting Mother Nature. But I believe that the actions we took, in
conjunction with the private sector, alleviated much of the damage
and pain those events caused. We can never resurrect the dead, but
we can honor them as we live our lives to the highest and best levels
we can. And those injured in the bombings and the hurricanes all
seem to be well on their way to recovery, again with the help of
mostly the private sector.

“I'm pleased to report that the European Union has joined the
US in fixing its currency to oil and thus fixed to ours. So have
Britain and Switzerland. Too bad, forex traders. China, of course,
has continued to manipulate its currency, but I have a feeling that
they'll soon learn the error of their ways on that front. I'm also
pleased to report … well, probably more just remind you …
that the price of gasoline here has stabilized at about $2.25 a
gallon. And I'll also tell you that once certain goals I have set
are met, we will be reducing and ultimately totally eliminating the
federal gasoline tax, which should drop that down to closer to, maybe
even below, two bucks a gallon.

“I'm also pleased to report that millions of our citizens,
mostly seniors, have invested over 800 billion dollars in the USA
Sovereign Wealth Fund, the proceeds of which have been invested in
some infrastructure repair and new construction, private equity and
other investments, using similar strategies to those I used at my
hedge fund. Most of those investments are updated weekly on our web
site, _________.gov; click on the “Sovereign Wealth Fund”
link to get to that list. Less than 30 percent of our investors have
chosen the annual withdrawal option, so we have more capital to
invest over the long term and they will get the higher returns.”

Donne pulled out a handkerchief and rubbed his shiny forehead, scalp,
face and neck.

“As for worker-employer relations, now that the union bosses
are no longer exploiting their members, for the most part, and
employers have learned the wisdom of profit-sharing, we have a much
greater level of cooperation, worker satisfaction and shared goals.
We still have a long way to go on eradicating those bosses and their
almost hypnotic hold on their members, but we are making progress
there.

“On the Medicare and health insurance fronts, I'm also pleased
with the responses to our new alternative programs. Millions of you
have signed up, and I'm sure you'll be much happier with the results
and your outcomes. And I'd like to give some credit to Sam and
Eileen Kriatofskial of Sandwich, Illinois, and to Ron and Christine
Florescuiello of Kanasaugua, Iowa, for their suggestion of adding a
medical errors registry accessible by the public and a compensatory
damages board to handle medical malpractice claims expeditiously and
fairly, with no lawyers involved, with a few very limited exceptions.

“Speaking of lawyers, I'm also pleased to announce that tens of
thousands of them have left the profession and gone into productive
careers in the real world. And our courts' backlogs have been
reduced by up to 90 percent in some civil sessions.

“On the criminal and law enforcement side, our prison
population has been reduced with alternative sentencing for
nonviolent offenders, and the deprivatization of federal prisons,
which was completed in early October, has shown huge benefits, not
only in higher wages for guards and administrative staff, but in an
overall reduction of nearly 31 percent in our incarceration budget.

“The changes in court rules and the rules of evidence that went
into effect last February have also expedited both civil and criminal
trials, and the reduction of many grounds for appeal has reduced that
long-abused lawyer-enrichment process, without damaging the rights of
any parties, criminal or civil, plaintiff or defendant.

“I've also dismissed over 1.7 million frivolous lawsuits, with
prejudice, and sanctioned the lawyers who filed them. Over 200,000
attorneys have also been penalized for egregious delaying tactics,
overbilling or any of several other types of malfeasance. Nearly
50,000 of them have also been criminally prosecuted and/or had their
law licenses permanently and involuntarily revoked.

“On the Al Capone tax, I will only say this. It has more than
met my own expectations and far surpassed the expectations of even
the most vocal supporters and surprised the hell out of its critics.
Along with the improvement of the economy, it has contributed, I
believe, to the 23 percent reduction in crime rates across the whole
country. It has certainly helped us to cut down on Medicare,
Medicaid and insurance fraud in general, and the drug cartels. We've
got 'em on the run, folks.