"Oh, that reminds me of one more thing, O'Baarni." Alatorict paused with his right foot on the dirt outside of the tent.
"What?" I spat at him.
"You should call him the Betrayer. It sounds odd to us, a human calling him the Destroyer. After all, it was not like the man performed genocide on
your
race. No?"
I nodded but didn't speak. The silver-haired Elven cracked another one of his charming smiles, bowed slightly and exited the tent.
Then I was alone with my thoughts in the nexus of the enemy army.
“Do you feel nauseated this morning?” Beltor whispered softly so that Greykin, the two men from the horse broker’s shop and my mother would not hear him. They were a few feet away, loading up the boat with our supplies. Actually, my mother was overseeing the men’s work and criticizing their lack of skill. The wind whipped across the waves of the bay, fluttering the sails of the small sailboat, Greykin's beard, and my mother's hair, before it caressed my cheek as Kaiyer had once done.
"No, Uncle." I frowned. He had asked me this every morning for the last four days and I had given him the same answer. I looked over again at my mother's back, her long blonde hair coiled behind her head like a snake waiting to strike. I felt fine. At first I had been so numb from shock, the fear and adrenaline from escaping Jiure had carried me through the rest of the that day and I had been so grateful to be safe with Greykin and Beltor. After a few hours of riding, however, the adrenaline wore off and I realized how sore I was from my clumsy run through the forest. My foot was the sharpest, most painful injury, a stabbing protest screamed from the wound if I put more than a slight pressure on it. But the most concerning was my bruised stomach. While my foot seemed to be healing just as Greta had promised with a little rest, the injury to my belly seemed to spread and ache more as we continued to the port town. I observed the changing colors of my bruises with alarm. I put a hand on my stomach now and asked my uncle the question I feared.
"Do you think there is something wrong with my baby?"
"No, of course not." He smiled at me and then took the last of the leather packs off of the horses and threw them over his shoulder. The two men came back from the boat and Beltor handed them the reins of the animals that had taken us safely from Merrium and across Nia to Relliat.
"You keep asking." I frowned and stepped out of the way of a group of men carrying crates to a large ship that was docked a few hundred yards from the one Beltor had acquired for our horses.
"Jess," he sighed and then looked down from the horse to meet my eyes. "I do find it odd that you aren't ill at all. You don’t,” he paused and looked at me critically before continuing, “you don’t look as women do with child. I know it is early, but still there are usually some signs.” He looked very uncomfortable and I wondered what signs he was looking for. “How late is your moon flow?"
"Eight weeks." I felt my stomach turn to ice. The wind pushed against my neck again, but instead of it reminding me of Kaiyer's caress it chilled me. "I know I am pregnant."
"Aye." He smiled at me. "A woman's knowledge of these matters is more telling than the thoughts of an old fool like me. I need to run some errands in the city proper. It will be a bit of a climb, care to join me?" I nodded and then held the reins of the animal while my uncle gave Greykin the last of the packs. Then he explained to my mother that we would both return in fifteen minutes.
"Be quick about it, Beltor. I have no desire to stay in this fish scented rat's nest any longer." Mother glared at my uncle and then flicked her hair over her shoulder in contempt of her surroundings.
"This 'rat's nest' as you call it is the second largest port town in your country. It provides jobs, industry, trade, spices, textiles, and grain to the whole northern population. And gold to your late husband’s coffers." Beltor struggled to keep his voice calm.
"If this hovel is that important, then why haven't the Ancients claimed it?"
"Did you not see the patrols we avoided to get here? The Ancients have claimed this city and I am sure it will only be a few weeks before they hold a military presence here." My uncle and mother had never gotten along, even when my father was alive. The past few days of travel had strained the relationship beyond civility.
"Fine, Beltor. As usual, you have to be correct and I must be in the wrong. Go, take my daughter on your little errand. I'll see to the loading of this raft that you insist is a boat." She turned away from my uncle and then scolded Greykin's lifting method.
Beltor grimaced when he walked toward me on the docks. His shaved hair was growing out a bit, so that it was a little shorter than what I remembered Kaiyer's to be. My thoughts swam to his face, his smile, and his voice. I hoped that he was safe, even if he was prisoner of our enemies. Greykin and my uncle seemed hopeful. Apparently the Ancients wanted to keep him alive so that the empress could question him. Kaiyer was smart and powerful, so I prayed that he might escape somehow and come to me.
"Where are we going, Uncle?" I asked after we spent ten minutes walking out of the dock area.
"You'll see, Jess," he said with a careful smile. His face suddenly reminded me of my father and I looked away to ease the pain in my chest.
"I am sorry about my mother," I said after we walked for a few more minutes through the winding streets of Relliat proper. Despite what she had said earlier, the city was beautiful, with its white and tan houses clinging to the side of the north and eastern bluffs like gems in a rock. The layout probably made the city feel smaller than it actually was, since it moved up as we went away from the crystal blue water of the bay, toward the sky instead of outward. Greykin told me that this city was easy to defend against water attacks, but it had been several generations since Vanlourn's navy dared to brave the treacherous sea and attempt to siege Relliat.
"You do not need to apologize for her." I knew that he was right, but I still felt compelled to make up for her rudeness. It hurt me to see her be so callous toward my uncle, and I felt it reflected upon me. While we were nothing alike in personality or demeanor, I looked just like her and I knew people who did not know me already assumed I was as haughty as she was by virtue of my title. I feared people thought I would grow to be just like her. Instead, I tried to emulate my father and show kindness and respect to all, but it was not enough to offset her horrid treatment of everyone. I wished I had Nadea’s attitude. My cousin did not seem to care what anyone thought of her, while my thoughts were often consumed by what I had said, if it had offended or hurt anyone, if I had done something foolish and embarrassing. My uncle turned a corner off of the main thoroughfare and the cobbled street seemed to point almost straight up the face of the cliff.
"How do they transport the goods up these streets?" I wondered out loud. My question was answered when we came upon a small cart being pulled by two donkeys. The cart had a mechanism on the side that looked like a brake. Two men helped steer the contraption slowly up the hill. The men were older than my uncle and stared at me before letting us pass them up the slope.
"We need to get you better clothes on the way." Beltor grabbed my hand to help me climb up the stone steps that cut a narrower path up a switchback. I tried to reply, but the brief few moments of climbing had taken my breath away and I could do nothing else but gulp down as much air as possible. My foot was still a little tender and it was slowing me down as much as my lack of fitness.
"Let's break for a few moments," Uncle said. We were only a quarter of the way up the winding road on the side of the cliff, but had already ascended what I guessed was the entire height of my castle. The Bay of Korono spread out below me dotted with ships like breadcrumbs on a vast blue blanket. The bay opened into the Cloud Ocean. I had only been on a boat a few times in my life and I had not enjoyed it. I knew as soon as we were out on the open water I would be experiencing plenty of the nausea my uncle was so eagerly anticipating. But, anything was worth escaping the Ancients, and this plan had been my own idea.
"I would like some clothes. Thank you. If we have enough money." The dress Greta gave me was dirty and dusty from our travels. The peasant woman's figure differed greatly from mine and the four days hadn't been able to stretch the fabric enough to make it comfortable. Greta was wiry from her work on their farm. Her forearms were strong and muscled, but overall she was much thinner than I was. My chest and hips pushed painfully against the stiff material of the dress, making it difficult to breathe, walk, and ride. I longed for my room back in the castle, my beautiful, comfortable clothes, and my wonderful handmaidens. My mother told me that Cerra, Siliah, Levie, Yera, and Damina had been unharmed in the invasion. They had stayed in my mother's quarters with her other handmaidens and then fled the city with their families. I was overjoyed that they had all survived and hoped I could see them again someday.
"We will have to get you something more suitable for traveling. Especially with what you are expecting." He smiled at me and then turned away from the bay to examine the row of brick and clay homes next to us.
"I always wanted to take Satina here. She grew up near the Teeth and never wanted to be that far from her family's estates." Beltor pointed at the decorative white flower designs painted on the borders of the tan buildings. "She would have loved this architecture and design."
My cousin's mother died a few years before I was born. Nadea and her father had always spoken quite highly of her. I envied the love in their family. Even with Satina gone, Nadea and Beltor seemed happier than my own intact family. My father and mother had been forced to wed, and while they may have made a proper political alliance, their personalities were not suited for one another and they clashed and raged at each other. My mother could provoke even my calm father to exasperation. The rare times the four of us spent together were fraught with tension and arguments. My mother was always angry or about to be, my father and I were always at fault and struggling to make it up to her, while my brother sat back and soaked up unearned adoration.
"Did you ever take Nadea here?"
"A few times. Nadea is maybe too much like me and less like her mother. I wanted her to enjoy the beauty of the place, but you know your cousin, she was more interested in racing up the switchbacks and asking the merchants about the naval battles they had witnessed.” He pointed up toward the cliffs. I nodded, and we continued our slow walk. A smile came to my lips when I thought about Nadea's favorite conversation topics.
"You remind me of Satina, Jess. She had this amazing sense of love for all that she saw around her. What you did for that family back in Merrium was a perfect example. The boy tried to violate you. I think most women would have wanted him dead. But you forgave him and his family so easily."
"I didn't think you approved." I frowned and pushed the memory of Jiure away. The sick taste of fear entered my mouth and caused me to gasp softly.
"It probably would have been easier for Greykin and I to kill them. It would have been just in keeping with our laws, and would have protected us. I still do not trust that they have not aided the Ancients in some way. But mercy is often the wiser choice and its benefits are revealed in unexpected ways. At least that was what Satina used to tell me."
I nodded and focused on my breathing. We passed a man and woman walking down the steep cobblestones with a little girl swinging between their hands, she squealed in delight as her young parents hoisted her off the ground and let her fly for a few seconds. I couldn't imagine Greykin or my uncle killing the farmers who had taken me in. Greta, Rayat, and Tira were gentle, innocent people that had done nothing wrong except caring for me when I needed safe harbor. They could not be held accountable for Jiure’s actions, and even he did not do any real harm. I hoped.
"The more I thought about it." He stopped at another switchback and indicated to me that we should rest again. "The more I knew you were correct. We can't win by being monsters. Satina would have agreed with your decision. She felt that all life was precious, and that there was always a solution that was kind and fair to everyone. 'After all' she would say to me often, 'our world was created with such beauty and the Spirits of our ancestors watch over us to ensure that we are happy. There may be ugliness that transpires, but it is only temporary as long as we don't let it enter our minds and bodies.'"
"I wish I could have met her." A tight feeling came to my throat and I felt a tear float down the side of my cheek. The salty air quickly pulled it away.