The Deepest Red (20 page)

So many questions flow unrelentlessly through my mind that I will never know answers to. I don’t really want to be find the answers but in a way not knowing them makes Tom’s death even more depressing and painful. I stand slowly on my shaking legs, reaching out to a large photo of a young Tom in full baseball uniform. I didn’t even think Tom could ever be this young. He had lived through so much. I ripe off the back of the frame and retrieve the old photo, fold it and place it in my jacket pocket. Not able to hold myself up any longer, I land in a heap on the dusty twin size bed.

What am I doing?
I look around the boy’s room with new eyes. First time out in the red zone and I’m forgetting all of what Tom’s taught me, forgetting my training, being careless and letting emotions make me weak. I’m spending too much time thinking about Connor, when I should be focusing on getting back home safe. He’s just a guy, a much older guy that I clung to because I was frightened and alone- not anymore. Connor’s lack of options caused him to entertain the idea of me but he made it clear he didn’t want me. I let my new indifference soak in and build a thick wall up around my heart.

I’m done being the girl he found frightened in the woods. I wipe my hand slowly across my cheeks, letting my fingertips catch my tears.
These are the last ones
. It’s time to be the woman that found Connor and Clover and brought them to safety. Besides, isn’t that who I trained to be? My whole life I’ve strived to become the image I believed to be my mother’s. When the youth of our community were playing, I was learning to fight. I was lonely even with my father near by. He encouraged me to spend time with Lonnie, sparing and learning to use a blade. I’m sure he thought I had a crush on the twin, never guessing my intentions of becoming a scout like my mother.

I might have considered Lonnie, with his easy grin, a contender for a boyfriend if he had been interested, but he always treated me like a kid, teasing me but allowing me to tag a long. He always held back when we fought even though I begged him not too. I was much younger than him and he was afraid I would get hurt. He had been and still is my friend. I wish he was here with me now. I breathe in deep and slowly release the air from my lungs. I hope both him and Jay are safe. I continue to stare at the wall for a few more minutes while pictures of Tessa, Lonnie and Dad appear in my thoughts. My head begins to ache from the stress or my annoyance with myself and behavior.
No more.
I scold myself. Standing, I walk back to Tom’s parent’s room. The sunlight shines through the window highlighting the dust floating in the air. I gather my new found weapons and attach them to a utility belt I had found hidden within the closet. I like the new weight on my hips. It’s comforting and gives a sense of a fresh start.

Chunking my old clothes and fisherman's hat on the large bed, I stroll out of the bedroom feeling pretty damn good. I am strong, confident and more like the woman I trained to be. I practice drawing my newly acquired weapons. I’ve always been good with a blade, practicing over and over with Lonnie and sometimes Tessa. When I first started they would only let me use thick sticks they found outside the prison’s walls but as I got older I earned the right to practice with one of the few wooden swords we had. I will earn the respect of my fellow scouts. I will find my way back home.

I smile with the tomahawk in one hand, faithful knife in the other, the hammer resting perfectly placed on my hip and Tom’s pocket knife clipped to my new utility belt. I am determined, resourceful and willing to do what I have too to survive. I grip the banister, my foot about to land on the top step when I hear mumbles on the house’s first floor.

“She has been up there a long time,” Clover says.

“Yeah?” Connor replies.

A long pause.

“You’re an idiot,” she groans frustrated.

“Gee, thanks,” his voice seethes.

I listen to her as she laughs sarcastically.

“Oh, you’re welcome.”

I can imagine her rolling her eyes at the courteous words.

“Look,” his words sound firm and unforgiving, “I made a mistake, we all do it, and I won’t let it happen again. We have a job to do Clover.”

His footsteps pace around the living room.

“Yeah, I know. Get to the prison in one piece. Stay safe. I got it but we always have a job to do. Get away from crazy bird people, find food, delude drifters, kill every infected we can find, stay alive.” Her voice softens as she says, “Quit putting everything on your shoulders. You need to learn to trust and to share some of this responsibility you have concreted to yourself. Don’t worry so much.”

I notice the concern in her voice, the love she has for her cousin.

“I told dad I would get you somewhere safe. I won’t rest till you are and well, Millie…” he stops as if thinking for a moment, not wanting to say the wrong thing. “We will go to Millie’s home and stay for awhile. We’ll warn them about the infected and the others, finish your training and get the hell out of there.”

At his words my heart hardens.
See Millie, he isn’t even going to stick around. You don’t need him anyway
. I hold my breathe, embarrassed that I have been acting like a boy crazy child.
No more.

“You’re still an idiot,” Clover’s voice says flatly.

“It’s too late, cuz,” Connor whispers.

Oh well
. I begin to descend down the staircase. The aged wood’s noisy squeaks broadcasts my arrival. I notice Connor standing in the same spot where he had kissed me earlier as Clover stands across the room with arms folded.

“I’m ready to go,” I say to no one.

Connor’s eyes enlarge when he catches sight of me but I turn my head to disregard him. If he wants to follow me he can, if not, I’m good. I secure my supply bag across my shoulders, my weapons ready.
Yeah, I’m good
, I think snidely.

“Sure, I’m ready,” Clover replies as I reach the last step.

“Wait!” Connor’s voice cracks, as my hand encloses around the door knob.

Too late.
The door swings open to three infected persons staring hungrily at me.

Chapter Twelve

A rush of details flood my brain as it registers the three infected standing before me. The closest is a young man. I know because his lack of decay and him being completely nude. I don’t even want to think of the reasons why his clothes are gone and to why half of his body is severely damaged. The angry skin is red as if blistered from a fire. A dark grey substance dribbles from the mangled pieces. He walks stiffly toward me; his hands reaching desperately. To be the first man I’ve ever seen naked, I’m not impressed.

The other two infected are women. The shorter one wears a torn hooded cape. The mud stained bottom drags the ground catching itself on every briar, stick, and damn thing it can, enabling the deformed woman from walking without falling. The other woman heaves her heavy leg behind her. I notice a machete stabbed in the meaty part of the decomposed muscle. Her skin sags from her bones with oozing sores covering her entire body. I would puke if I had the opportunity but with annoyance and anger stewing in my veins, I welcome the chance for violence.

My body embraces the training that Tom and Mrs. Emerson worked so hard to teach me, all the while, Lonnie’s voice loud in my head says “This is for real.” The words forming his mantra he would used to announce he wasn’t going to take it easy on me this time around. The weight of the weapons in my hand only adds to my eerie calmness. I hear Connor gasp from behind as he realizes the threats outside the front door. He doesn’t bother to hide his foot falls knowing full well he’ll be too late.

I step to the side as the blade’s edge of my tomahawk slices my undressed opponent’s arm from his body. It glides through the festering muscle like butter. The sound produces a tingling wave of adrenaline. My surroundings slow and crackle with a ringing in my ears. Before the arm hits the ground, I step into the infected and slice my knife through his neck. His head dangles by a slither of rotting skin. The remaining body, tethering as I drop my knife and turn holding my tomahawk like a baseball bat. The image of the young Tom in my jacket pocket comes to mind and I take a swing at the woman. Her cape is stuck on something protruding from the ground causing her to fall to meet my blade. The weapon collides with her neck. The force of the impact projecting her head into the blood splatter grass. I wonder if hitting a baseball with a bat is anyway comparable.

I don’t stop my assault with the head now rolling away. I kick out at the remaining infected placing a good solid hit of my boot to her chest. The pressure of her body folding back snaps her dragged leg. She screams when she hits the ground but I silence her quickly with a hack to her bare neck. Her body lays motionless below me.

I straighten with my back toward the house attempting not to visibly shake. The adrenaline still nestles me in its arms and I’m grateful it keeps the exhaustion away. When I turn around I’m rewarded with a stunned look on Connor’s face. The two headless bodies fall simultaneously hitting the ground with multiple thumps.

“It’s all clear.” I say, unflustered to a speechless Connor and a smiling Clover.

I retrieve my knife, wiping both my weapons on the infected woman’s cloak. The metal reflects back clean as I return the axe back to my utility belt. Confidence fills every corner of my awareness while I stay watchful for anymore infected.
This is me. This is who I trained to be.

Clap. Clap. Clap. The sounds echo off the empty house and embed themselves into my ears.
What now?
I stand at guard not being able to locate the origin of the sound. Then, he appears. With hands out, slowly clapping, Lonnie steps from a heavily wooded area. A snide smile hangs on his lips.

“Wow Millie! If I’d known you were going to turn out to be such a badass I would’ve asked for you to be my partner.”

He claps his hands one last time.

“Jay sucks,” he says with a smile that warms my heart. Before, I even process what I’m doing my knife is back in its sheath and I’m running full speed. I jump over the bodies of the infected left from Connor’s fight, not looking directly at the gore.

As I near him, an answering smile breaks across my face. Lonnie welcomes me into his arms with a thud. I don’t care if I’ve crashed into him recklessly- I’m just so happy to see a familiar face.

“Damn girl. I didn’t realize I would get such a response being away for a few days.”

Lonnie’s breath escapes him in a huff. His fingers find my shoulders and I’m firmly pushed away but kept close. I glimpse the concern in his eyes when he peers down into my face.

“I’m so glad to see you, you’ve no idea,” I say.

My voice is weary as I let myself take him in. Even though he teased me endlessly as a child he has always been there for me. He’s a good person and friend.

By the appearance of him, he has had as much fun as I have had out here in the red zone. Dirt coats his thick blond hair that he wears long and wavy. His blue cotton shirt is ripped in places and a bloody cloth is wrapped around his forearm like a bandage.

“You okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, no biggie,” he remarks as I notice his calming green eyes hold a dimness they’ve never held before. They focus and take stock of me. Those same bright eyes warm as they lock onto mine.

“Where’s Tom?” he pauses, “and who are these people?”

I look away, my eyes falling on the infected bodies.

“Millie, did you kill this horde?”

Lonnie’s voice is hesitant but a spark of awe lies underneath. For some reason, his stare proves to be too much to handle.