Authors: Fiona Palmer
‘You really cared about him?’ he asked softly.
Jaz couldn’t look at him, so she focused on the blinding sun, letting it scar her eyes with bright dots. She couldn’t find her voice so she just nodded.
They sat in silence for another five minutes before Ryan stood up. ‘Well, I might go get started on dinner.’ He handed her the binoculars and walked back to camp. Jaz stayed, happy to enjoy the quiet and serenity. After a moment, the sun disappeared as if swallowed by the sea and only the last of the rays lit the sky. She stood and used the binoculars, checking the water for any bobbing drums. Hopefully the moon was bright tonight, otherwise it might be hard trying to see things.
Jaz looked up the right of the beach, then down left. Seeing as the road split into three, she knew there was a possibility that the men could be waiting. Ryan said the middle track went right to the beach and he believed the men would wait for their shipment there. They might even set up on the beach like fishermen. But as Jaz searched she didn’t see any vehicles. She dropped the binoculars, thinking she should probably go and help Ryan. He might even have it cooked by now.
Just as Jaz turned something caught her eye, movement on the beach. A man was tucked back against the dunes and had begun to move. She didn’t need the binoculars to see him, but that meant that he could see her too. He wore jeans and boots, tattoos on his arm and something bulky under his shirt. A gun? Crap. They were here ready and waiting. She had to move before he saw her. Turning, she grabbed her shoes and walked off slowly. If he did see her, she wanted him to think she was just a tourist.
When she was out of sight, she broke off a branch from a nearby shrub and dived down into the sand, shimmying her way slowly to the edge, using the bush as coverage, to see if he was still there. He wasn’t in his last known position because he was heading directly to where she’d been standing. Oh shit. Ryan was going to kill her.
Would this guy keep looking for her? Would he come kill them?
She had only a few minutes to decide what to do. She couldn’t kill him or capture him, the others would know he was missing. Would their presence as backpackers be enough to convince him they were harmless, or would he kill them anyway? She needed something that would make him leave. But what? Jaz was sprinting back to the mini-van, everything felt grey around her with the sun now gone. Shadows were everywhere and she couldn’t really see what she was stepping on as the night inched closer every second. Her mind was running at warp speed, hoping that the man behind her didn’t find his way to the van.
‘Ryan,’ she said, as loudly as she dared. It was enough, that and the fact that she was running towards him. He’d just set down a plate of cooked snags on the table, next to the cans, some sauce and buttered bread. He also had a light rigged up off the side of the van, ready for the dark. Jaz threw her shoes towards the van and pulled off her top, so she was running to Ryan in just her black bra and gold medallion necklace. The look on his face would have been priceless if this wasn’t an emergency. ‘Take your shirt off,’ she demanded as she reached him.
Ryan was clever enough to put her distressed face and the fact that she was getting undressed together.
‘We being watched?’ he whispered as he pulled his shirt off.
‘Yes, I think I was followed. He has a gun,’ she murmured against his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
She didn’t have to explain her plan of making the guy think they were too involved in their own desires. Ryan had probably played this game many times before.
Jaz was trembling; from the run, from the direness of this moment, and from the contact of Ryan’s skin against hers. She kissed his neck and ran her hands down his back to his shorts. Ryan’s hands pulled her closer, a finger slipped under her bra strap, pulling it from her shoulder. Then his lips kissed along her shoulder to her collarbone. Jaz leant back and groaned. In seconds she’d gone from worried to ‘was there even a bad guy here’.
Hopefully their show was enough, he could be watching by now. Jaz reached back and unclasped her bra.
Ryan’s hands stretched out across her back, feeling every square inch, his lips never leaving her skin. She reached down, unbuttoning his shorts, and felt them slip to the ground. Ryan gently pushed her back into the van onto the made bed. Jaz totally liked where this was going. He bent over to kiss her stomach as he stepped out of his shorts, then he crawled inside with her.
She lay on her back, her bra barely in place. Ryan paused as he leant over her as if uncertain, but his eyes were drinking her in and she loved the way it made her feel. Reaching up, she pulled him towards her; she needed to kiss him now before she burst. This time when she kissed him there was no resistance. With open mouths, they tasted and explored. Jaz sucked at his lip and gripped his shoulders, the rising tsunami of passion felt like it was about to come crashing in and destroy everything in its path, even her heart. Her chest was pounding, her body throbbing, her skin crying out to be touched.
Ryan broke away from their kiss and moved to her ear.
The side door was wide open still, hopefully enough was happening to send the bad guy on his way. So far so good.
‘Have you spotted him?’ he whispered.
Oh, was I meant to be watching out, she thought. Totally not possible right now. ‘No, have you?’
‘I caught movement.’ Then a bit louder he said, ‘I’ll just get the light.’ Climbing out of the van in his trunks, he turned off the light and put a plate over the top of the cooked sausages. Jaz quickly pulled off her leggings. She had to even the playing field.
Ryan took his time outside, which meant he was looking for the man, but this time so was Jaz. On the pretence of watching Ryan, she searched the shadows. There was nothing but … hang on, yes, there was a small red glow from the end of a burning cigarette. Sniffing the air, she could also smell a hint of smoke.
‘Now where were we,’ said Ryan jumping in and sliding the door almost shut.
Jaz squealed and laughed, playing it up. It was dark inside so they could look out the small gap, which was what Ryan was doing now. She’d much rather go back to the kissing even though her lips tingled from his stubble.
‘We might have to wait a while,’ he whispered, meaning they were still being watched.
Jaz propped herself up on her elbow, her bra slipped off and she threw it aside. Ryan probably couldn’t see much as he lay in the dark but Jaz leant over him, running her fingers up his chest. Her body shivered as her hard nipples pushed against his skin. The sensation nearly left her breathless. Her father’s medallion was warm from the heat of their skin pressed together, the gold a conductor.
‘Jaz,’ Ryan warned. ‘We can stop now,’ he whispered.
Not content, she rolled on top of him. He was strong and hard underneath her and she couldn’t help but move against him.
‘Jaz,’ he growled. His hands latched on to her arms tightly, almost to the point of pain.
But she ignored him, and lowering her head she kissed his chest, working her way down.
He cursed loudly. ‘Oh my God, woman.’ His voice was raw and animal-like. ‘Will you stop,’ he whispered.
‘Why,’ she added. ‘Aren’t you having fun?’ As if to prove her point she rubbed against him; it did nothing to ease the burning itch. She wanted more.
Ryan’s hands slapped to her waist to stop her rocking, only to find her tiny G-string. Another roll of insanities flew from his mouth. He grunted and rolled her off him, then lay there panting.
She put her head closer to his, moving her lips millimetres from his ear. ‘Please,’ she whispered. ‘Just one night, that’s all I ask.’
‘Even that is too much,’ he replied, sounding as if he’d just completed a marathon.
‘Why? Are you really that scared of the Agency? Surely one night is not going to matter.’
‘But it will to me. If I go down that road, Jaz, I can’t come back. And that scares me.’ His words were raw and honest. ‘I care for you too much as it is and I’m worried this might ruin me, ruin us.’
‘It won’t.’ Right then she would have said anything to get him to make love to her. How could sleeping together ruin what they have, surely it would only make it stronger? Unless that was the problem. ‘Please, for me.’ Jaz bent over and kissed his chest a few times then, when he sighed, she found his lips. Soft gentle kisses.
His hand snaked along her skin, and stopped on her lower back. ‘If you’re sure. You won’t be able to take this back,’ he said tenderly.
‘I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.’
She felt Ryan relax in her arms, everything holding him back momentarily forgotten. He bent down and expertly kissed her soft mounds, working his lips across her skin until she was shaking with anticipation.
He held her with such tenderness that one would never think he had such strength to kill. By now the whole world was forgotten, it was just the two of them inside the Wicked mini-van.
***
She lay snuggled up in his arms afterwards, waiting for her breathing to return to normal, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. It was everything she’d dreamed of and more. To be with the man she loved, there was nothing else worth comparing it too.
‘I should get dressed and do a check,’ he whispered. ‘I want to get a look at what vehicles they have.’
He slid open the door so he could reach for his shirt and shorts.
When he was dressed, he moved to leave the bed but she grabbed his hand. Nothing was said but the feelings inside her were thick and plenty. Ryan bent over and kissed her.
‘I’ll be back in fifteen minutes, if not, come looking.’ He gave her hand a squeeze and then got out, taking a torch and grabbing a couple of sausages and bread on his way.
Jaz got dressed and sat by the table, eating with the light still off. She wasn’t game to put it on, worried it made her an easy target. She heard the movement before she saw anything, her mouth freezing mid-chew so she could listen further.
‘It’s only me,’ said Ryan as he came and sat beside her. He put the torch on the table. ‘He’s gone. I saw where he was standing, saw the cigarette he left. He went back the way he came, along the beach. We are far enough away from them that they don’t see us as a risk.’
‘That’s good. When he spotted me, I thought the worst.’
‘They don’t want to do anything that would cause this place to become a media circus, like killing us. So leaving us be would have been the safest bet. There are two utes with canopies down the other road. Set up like fishing utes. I counted five sitting around the camp light.’
‘Anything at the beach yet?’
‘No. I’ll give it another half hour and then check.’
Jaz nodded, pulling a piece from her bread. ‘You want another sausage?’ she asked. It seemed better than discussing what had happened earlier.
‘I think I might.’ He made himself another sausage in bread with sauce by the light of the moon, which when it came out from behind the clouds coated everything in silver.
They sat in silence for fifteen minutes or so, until all the sausages were gone and Jaz had put her jumper back on. She lifted it up over her nose to keep warm and was struck by how much her skin smelt like Ryan. Oh, how she could live off it, like oxygen. If only she could stay wrapped in his arms all night. Would they get to sleep again?
‘You cold? Here, I brought a few extras.’ He fished out a beanie and a black hoodie.
She put both of them on, again immersed in his scent.
‘Thanks. And thanks for before. You don’t know how much that meant to me.’ She gave him a smile as he pulled on another jumper and some track pants.
‘Yeah, sure,’ he said strangely, as if someone had their hands around his throat. ‘Wanna come to the beach?’
‘Sure.’
So maybe it was a little awkward. Jaz was a little unsure of how to act. Flashes of what they’d done kept repeating through her mind, making her crave his touch again and feeling like a Ryan addict. Even just sitting beside him was hard work. She wanted to be connected to him, holding his hand or just leaning against his arm.
Had he known this would be the hardest part? The aftermath? Jaz would love to know what he was thinking. Did he regret it, had it changed the way he saw her now, had she got under his skin, could he love her? She’d take on the guys with the guns before she could work up the courage to ask Ryan these questions, for fear of his answers. What if it wasn’t what she hoped?
Together they made a slow and careful trek to the beach, using a different path from before, this one was more a wide arc bringing them out thirty metres further up the beach. They remained quiet, lying down near the small bushes on the dunes.
Ryan had the binoculars and he tapped on her shoulder. He signalled to her that he could see two drums in the water. It was still windy but lying in the sand kept them away from most of it, just the odd bit of sand got in her eyes.
When there was no sign of anyone on the beach or surrounds, Ryan leant over and whispered, ‘Why don’t you go back and get some sleep. I’ll come and do a shift change with you in a few hours.’
She mouthed, ‘Okay.’
They worked through the night like this, so she didn’t end up getting another chance to snuggle up to Ryan. But she kept herself awake on the dunes by reliving every single moment. She couldn’t have asked for a more perfect first time, maybe minus the bad guys and the drugs. The Wicked van was fine, kind of cosy and different. Seeing one on the road now would only bring the moment back, but that wouldn’t be a bad thing.
Jaz found the early morning stretch the hardest, it was so cold she’d dug her hands into the sand to keep them warm. It was time to swap shifts with Ryan, but before she could wake him he’d dropped down beside her. She couldn’t help the involuntarily smile that came with seeing him. Warmth radiated within her from his nearness.
‘Morning. Last drum turned up yet?’ he asked.
Even though he’d just woken up, he looked wide awake and ready to go. His lips were so close. Would he be offended if she kissed him?
‘Yep, just saw them drive up the beach to collect it. It’s a fair way north,’ she said handing over the binoculars.