The Debt 6 (6 page)

“Please what?” he asked, his voice heavy with desire.

“I need to know what’s going on.”

“
This
is what’s going on, Raven.”

She realized that Jake really did need to tell her something of substance, and that this might just be his way of avoiding the reality of their situation.
 
She wriggled harder, finally extricating herself from his grasp.
 
“What’s your plan?
 
What are we going to do now that we’re stranded in the middle of nowhere?”

Jake was breathing heavily and his hair was mussed.
 
His nostrils flared as his shoulders rose and fell with his breath.
 
“You should just let me worry about what’s next.
 
I told you that already.”

“That’s not good enough for me.”

“Oh, it’s not good enough for you?” he said, his tone giving way to frustration.

“No, it’s not.
 
I need to be included in this process.”

“It’s not a process,” he said.
 
“This is survival.
 
I know how to do it better than you do.
 
And I don’t require any input.”

“But I want to be included.”

Jake shook his head.
 
“So I guess it’s not enough that I’ve given up my career, my best friend, I’ve put myself at risk in every possible way in order to keep you safe.
 
Now you also need to be on the planning committee, too.”

“Jake, don’t make me out to be the bad guy for wanting some answers.”

“You don’t get to make the rules, Raven.
 
Ever since we started into this relationship, you’ve been slowly trying to break me down and make me do things the way that you want them done.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry with me for having questions.”

“It’s not your place!” he said, raising his voice and leaning towards her as he spoke.

She stood there, flabbergasted and deflated at how quickly things between them had changed.
 
She wanted to cry but forced herself not to.
 
“Not my place,” she repeated, nodding.
 
“Not my place.”
 
She smiled bitterly.
 
“I should’ve known that nothing’s really changed between us.”

“Raven,” Jake said, his voice lower now.
 
“You just don’t understand why it has to be this way.
 
I’m protecting you—“

“No, you’re protecting yourself,” she replied.
 
She stared into his eyes and just from his subtle flinch
,
she knew it was true
.
 
“You’re afraid to let me in as an equal partner because then maybe you’ll be hurt again.”

His eyes were now hollow as her words hit home.
 
“Maybe I’m not as strong as you are,” he said, “but I’m doing the best I can.”

“I need more than this,” she said.
 
“I need to be included.
 
I need you to let me in completely.”

His shoulders sagged.
 
“I can’t do that,” he told her.

“Why not?” she pleaded.
 
“Why do you want to sabotage what we have?”

He looked away from her.
 
“You just can’t accept my limitations, Raven.”

“Because I don’t believe they’re real.
 
You’ve been hurt, Jake.
 
Everyone’s been hurt.”

Jake turned away from her for a moment and she watched as his broad back expanded and then contracted as he stood there, breathing and thinking. Finally, he turned around and faced her.
 
“I need to take a walk,” he said.
 
“I can’t do this right now.”

“Please, don’t go—“

“Leave me alone for one damn minute,” he said, and then he quickly left, giving her a wide berth as he exited the cabin.

She stood in the doorway and watched him walk off into the woods.
 
Her stomach roiled as she took out her cell phone and saw that it had no service.
 
How would she contact anyone if something happened?
 

What if she wanted to leave?
 
They had no car, no form of transportation or communication with the outside world.
 
They were miles away from any help.
 
Jake could fall and break his leg walking in the woods and she’d never even know where he was or have the ability to call for an ambulance.

Not to mention, on the off chance that one of their enemies somehow figured out where they were hiding.
 
They’d be sitting ducks, alone in the wilderness with no ability to flee or call for help.

Then the tears came.
 
Jake had somehow gotten her to trust him completely, to put herself in his hands without even having the faintest idea what he intended to do to get them out of this mess.

So far, from appearances, it seemed that he wanted to hide from the world in this remote cabin and polish his gun collection all day.

It was no way to live and it wasn’t going to solve anything.

Jake had a tour to promote his new album that he needed to finish, and his reputation was at stake.
 
Not to mention the financial toll of cancelling such a big tour after everything else that had gone wrong recently.

On top of that, Raven had her own responsibilities.
 
She hadn’t been in touch with Skylar, and her friend needed her support.
 
Skylar was sick and scared and now Raven had just disappeared on her without a word about where she’d gone.
 

As Raven waited for Jake to return, the sky darkened and then it began to rain.
 
The rain was heavy and without mercy, and she heard it spattering rhythmically on the rooftop and windows.

If Jake had been there with her, it would’ve been romantic.
 
They could have cuddled up together, kept one another warm.

Instead, she was shivering and alone and frightened.

The minutes ticked by as the rain continued to pour down from an angry sky.
 
Hours later, he still hadn’t come back.

***

By the time Jake came back to the cabin, Raven had nearly given up hope.
 
Her heart filled with relief when he came through the door, soaked from head to toe.
 
He’d gone out shirtless and his upper body dripped with the rain.
 
His pants were completely waterlogged, and Jake pulled off his shoes and then his pants immediately after getting inside.

Raven ran over to him.
 
“Are you okay?” she said, wanting to hug him and yell at him all at once.

Jake didn’t even look at her.
 
“I need a drink,” he said, as he stepped out of his pants.
 
He was in his boxers, which were also completely wet and clinging to his legs and hips.
 

“Jake, you can’t just leave me like that.
 
I was scared.
 
My cell phone doesn’t work—“

“I said, I need a drink.”
 
He strode into the kitchen and rummaged for a moment before coming up with a bottle of vodka.

“Do you really think that’s such a good idea?” Raven said.

Jake looked at her and his eyes were darker than the skies outside.
 
“I think it’s a fucking fantastic idea, actually.”
 
He spun the cap off the bottle and it fell to the ground and rolled under the sink.
 
Then Jake tipped the bottle to his lips and took a long drink, closing his eyes as he did so.

Raven couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
 
“So now you’re just going to get drunk?
 
Is this why we came all the way out to the middle of nowhere?”

“Maybe,” he replied, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
 
He rested his hips against the countertop and waited, the bottle casually propped up on his leg.
 
“Maybe that’s what the doctor ordered.
 
I’ll knock myself out and wake up tomorrow and the world will look different.”

She glared at him.
 
“And maybe I’ll look different, too.
 
Isn’t that what you forgot to say?”

Jake’s lip curled.
 
“Everything’s not always about you,
Raven
.”

“That’s because it’s always about you, Jake.”

He smiled.
 
“Now you’re getting it.”

“I just wish I hadn’t gotten it now, when I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere with you.”

His smile disappeared.
 
“It’s so horrible, isn’t it?
 
Being stuck with such an awful guy like me.
 
I feel bad for you.
 
I don’t know how you stand it.”

“Why are you acting like this, Jake?” she said.
 
“One second you promise to protect me and the next you act like I’m some monster trying to destroy you.”

He shook his head and took another swig of vodka.
 
“Don’t try and figure me out.
 
There’s nothing to solve.
 
I’m not going to suddenly open up and make sense of the world for you.
 
So just stop trying already.”

Raven stared at him for what felt like an eternity.
 
She became more and more aware of the fact that Jake simply wasn’t going to really ever respect her.
 
He’d told her over and over again that he couldn’t meet her needs, but she’d kept hope alive.
 
She’d let him lead her on, believing the little comments he’d made about caring for her and protecting her.

But apparently, what Jake thought of as protecting her didn’t have anything to do with respecting her as a person.
 
She was just a piece of property, another toy,
another
thing that he owned and refused to give up.

That kind of protection, she didn’t want or need.

“You know what?” she said.

“What?” Jake asked, his voice sounding bored.
 
He readied the vodka bottle for another swallow.

“I’m so done with this.”
 
She glanced outside and saw that the rain was letting up.
 
Good.
 
She would’ve gone either way, but it was better not to have to walk in a downpour.

Raven started out of the kitchen and Jake didn’t move to stop her.

She got to the front door and asked herself if she was seriously going to just leave in a fit of anger.
 

You could get lost in the woods and die out there.

I’m not staying here with him.
 
No way.
 
I’m not going to put myself through this anymore.

But where are you going to go?

She didn’t know.
 
Her only thought was to get back to the path they’d driven down and then follow it out to the road, and once she got service back on her phone, she’d call for someone to come and get her.

Raven pushed out the front door and felt the drizzle from the ashen sky overhead.
 
Her bones already felt chilled and achy and she whimpered a little, like a child going into a dark basement without anyone to keep her company.

Don’t
chicken out now
,
Raven
.
 
He’ll only laugh at you if you turn around and come back inside because you got damp from some drizzle.

The thought of Jake laughing at her was too infuriating.
 
She continued walking, part of her already regretting this hasty decision, while another part of her urged her feet forward.

Show him that you’re stronger than he thought you were.
 
Leave him.
 
Leave him and his condescending bullshit behind.

Raven lifted her chin and put her shoulders back as she strode into the forest.
 
She knew the general direction to go in, and luckily, she could see the footprints Jake’s shoes had left in the muddy ground as he’d dragged the supplies from where the car had dropped them.

Faintly, as she got further away from the cabin, Raven thought she heard a voice.

It echoed
,
morphed so that she couldn’t be sure who it even was.
 

The voice was calling her name.
 
It was definitely Jake, and he was shouting for her, but she kept stumbling forward through the dirt and leaves and mud and underbrush of the forest.
 
Raven realized she’d been crying for the last few minutes, but it had begun mixing with the rain, which had once more begun pouring down.

So much for staying dry
.
 

It didn’t matter, though.
 
She would walk to that stupid path and follow it all the many miles out to the closest main road and call Danny.
 
Danny would come and get her and tell her how she should’ve listened to him and stayed away from Jake.