The Dead of Winter (Seasons of Jefferson: Book 2) (37 page)

WE SIT AWKWARDLY SILENT, AS
the lift leaves the ground. I can’t look at her. I don’t know what to say. I look back over my shoulder to see Tyler already snuggled up next to Jessie May. When he sees me looking back over my shoulder he gives me a thumbs up. I watch him for a few seconds while I contemplate my next move.
I wonder what she’s expecting me to do on this lift. I was just joking about that instruction manual thing. Crap. What have I gotten myself into?

“You sure do take your time with things, don’t you?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah, I don’t like to rush into anything.”

“That’s obvious. But just because you’re slow doesn’t mean I’m going to forget. You’re not getting out of it.”

“Out of what?”

“My lesson. I believe it’s titled,
The Proper Way to Ride a Lift.
”

“Oh, that. Yeah. Well, I didn’t want to say anything. I was trying not to make you feel bad, but since you asked … you’re already doing it wrong.”

“Oh, I am, huh?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Well, correct me then.”

“Okay. Well, first, you’re sitting at the wrong angle.”

I laugh as I watch Tangles sit up a little straighter and pop her neck back and forth. She looks back at me, grinning. “There. Better?”

I crunch my nose and shake my head, no.

“No? What am I doing wrong?”

“I guess I need to help you, but it’s going to take a little work if you want to do it correctly.”

“Work doesn’t scare me. No one has ever called me lazy.”

“Fair enough.”

Once again, I slip out from beneath the blanket and slide away from her. Carefully, I turn my body sideways in the chair until I’m facing her. I lift my left leg onto the seat, and hold out my arms. “Slide on over.” An amused grin spreads across her face. Then gingerly, she turns her back to me, pulls her feet up onto the chair, pushes herself closer, and snuggles up against my chest.

She pats the small opening on the seat next to her, and then reaches down and tugs on my dangling leg. I pull it under her, until I’ve carefully situated her on my lap, cradling her in my arms. Gently placing my chin on her shoulder, I whisper into her ear, “Someone’s a fast learner.” I can’t see her face, but I can feel her butterflies swarming beneath my hand. “Now that we’ve corrected your riding angle, we need to focus on positioning.”

“Positioning, huh?”

“Yes. Take your feet for example. They do have footholds for your comfort.”

Tangles leans her head back, looking up at me. Giggling, she says, “Show me.”

Deliberately, I position my feet beneath hers, securing her snuggly in my lap. I pull the blanket back over the top of us and wrap her back in my arms, whispering, “Don’t forget the seat belt … and then there’s these.” I find her hands beneath the blanket and begin outlining her fingers, one by one. “You should always make sure these are in the right place at the right time.”

“And are they?”

I shake my head. “Not yet.”

I lace my fingers back in between hers and pull them snuggly up to her chest, right on top of her heart. “There. Now they’re right where they belong.”

“Are you sure?”

“Cross my heart.” I smile, amused by the erratic thumping my touch has ignited beneath our crossed fingers.

As we finish the lesson, the chair approaches the top. “I can see the bonfire. Time to get off. You ready?”

Avery’s head rolls back and forth on my chest. “I think I changed my mind.”

“You don’t want to get off?”

“I just learned how to ride this thing. I’m not ready yet. Besides, you’re keeping me warmer than any bonfire I’ve ever been to.”

Once again, my heart beats a little faster, and my stomach contracts from the tornado of butterflies spinning out of control.

“Fine by me. I could ride this thing all night. After all, I did write the book on it.”

“Guess what?” she gives my fingers a squeeze. “I’m starting to believe you.”

The rest of the ride is relatively quiet. Aside from the subtle quivering I feel dancing across my chest and the few times she clings to me from the unexpected dips and bumps of the cable, the night is still. It gives me the time I need to reflect on how incredibly blessed I am to be here in God’s country. Alive. Looking out over the towering evergreens and majestic snowcapped mountain. Watching the smattering of snowflakes blowing across the constellations. Seeing. Breathing. Feeling.

As I hold onto this beautiful, witty girl, I can’t help but think of second chances. I look down at that curly, brown hair and sweet mocha face. She’s the one thing that’s brought me the healing I couldn’t find anywhere else. She’s given me something to look forward to. A reason not to look back. When I walk into that building tonight, I’m saying goodbye to the toughest year of my life, and hello to hope for a better new year. And it’s all because of her.

As we approach the bottom of the mountain, it’s time to come back into sitting position. I ease Tangles off of me and tuck her inside the warm blanket. Looking down at my watch, we only have a half hour before midnight. “Any last requests before we say goodbye to this year?”

“I’m thinking it’s time to celebrate the fact that it’s finally over.” Tangles holds out her hand and grabs mine. “Let’s hit the dance floor and stomp out some crappy memories.”

“Yours was bad too, huh?”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

“Tell me ab…” Before the rest of the word leaves my mouth, her finger is at my lips.

“Shhh.” She shakes her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I squeeze her hand and nod my head, fully understanding where she’s coming from. “It’s okay. I understand wanting to bury nightmares. I don’t like to talk about mine either. When you think about them too often, it gives them too much power.”

“Sometimes distractions are the only weapons we have to fight them.”

“Distractions as weapons. Never thought about that.”

“Well, start thinking about it. Cuz tonight you’re mine.”

We stop right there in the middle of the snow. I’m so thankful for the way she just opened up to me. I need to show her that I’ll be that distraction. With everything in me. I will help save her. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tightly.
I’m her weapon against her nightmare. The same way she’s mine. Well, if that’s the case, I’m going to be the best damn weapon she’s ever had.
I can’t help but bend down and hold my lips to the top of her head. As we stand there swaying back and forth, enjoying the serenity of the moment, an announcement rings out through the speakers, breaking the silence.

“This will be the last song before midnight. Anyone who wants to bring in the New Year on the dance floor should make their way back inside.”

I pry my lips from her head and look down at her. “How about that dance?”

She takes my hand and leads me back inside.

The floor is crowded with all of the couples wanting to dance the year goodbye. As we move our way through the crowd, looking for an opening, I watch the ceiling. I need to make sure I’m in the perfect place for our special dance.
There it is.
I find the spot and pull her in close. As we dance, I think back on my journey with this beautiful girl. How we met at the snowmobile park. How I chased her for hours. Our chance meeting at Gate 13. Midnight texts. And the little stunt at the Dash when she slipped on the ice and ended up in my arms. I have to chuckle at the way I spit my gum over her shoulder and pretended I was going to kiss her. She was pissed.

“What are you laughing about?” she grins.

“Do you still think I’m a jackass?”

The countdown is beginning. Ten … nine …

“What’re you talking about?”

Seven … six …

“The night at the Dash. You called me a jackass and said you’d never kiss me.”

Three … two …

My eyes direct hers to look above our heads.

“Like I said before …”

One.

“Challenge accepted,” I wink.

An instant smile crosses her face. She sees it. The mistletoe.
I’m going to win.
I look her in the eyes and smile as I draw close to her. I hesitate as I lean in close enough to feel her breath tickle the corner of my mouth. Her smile curls against me, as her lips brush against mine for the first time. She whispers, “I guess you win.”

“Best win of my life.”

Gently, I take her lips in mine.
Vanilla. Damn. She couldn’t be any more perfect. This is the best prize I’ve ever won in my life, but I need to show her that she’s more than just a game. This kiss needs to be a thank you. Thank you for being exactly what I needed. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to. A reason not to give up on myself. On life. This kiss. It has to be unforgettable.

I narrowly open my mouth as I move in slowly. Gently, I tilt my head, just enough to take her full lips into mine. Our tongues barely brush, when the feel of her soft flesh sets the first firestorm crashing through me. It starts at my heart and finds its way through every nerve ending, leaving a trail of burning heat in its wake. I hold her close, stifling the internal explosion that’s sending sparks zinging and swirling through my core. We stand there, with reckless abandon, right in the middle of the dance floor, letting the world dissolve around us. It’s going to take everything in me to pull away from this kiss, but when my senses start to come back to me, I realize that I’m about to lose it right here in front of everyone. My breathing becomes quick and shallow as I work to calm the reaction to her scent. Her taste. Her touch.

I need a second. I don’t want to embarrass myself.
I gently pull away from her, setting my chin on top of her head. Slowly she rolls her cheek down against my chest. She’s giving me a chance to relax. I have to break the tension. “I won,” I laugh. “I got you to kiss me.”

“You got me to kiss you? Don’t be so sure about that.”

“Why not?”

“I can hear your heartbeat.”

“What’s it saying?”

“That it was tricked.”

“Tricked?”

“Mmmhmm. I know how to get what I want. Now kiss me again.”

Right there, in the middle of the dance floor, we move together for the next two hours. Holding each other close. Taking turns initiating kisses. Twirling and swaying to the music. It’s hard to say goodbye to this magical night. Not wanting to forget how beautiful she is in this moment, I pull my phone from my pocket to capture a New Year’s selfie.

“Smile for the camera.”

I can tell she’s not really into being photographed, but Tangles puts on her best game face.
Perfect.
This will hold me over until I see her again, and if I have anything to say about it, that’s going to be real soon. There’s no way I’m going to let this girl get away. I hold the picture up for her to see. “See. We look good together.”

A flirtatious smile comes over her face. “I look good with everyone.”

She giggles and shakes her head, just to let me know she’s not being serious.

Well, I don’t think she is anyway.

And something tells me, that this game has just begun.

“CADEN, PUT THAT PHONE DOWN
. You’re going to be late.”

“Almost done.”

ME: Hey. I have this thing I have to go to today. Sorry, I won’t be able to see you. I’ll text you as soon as I’m done, k? ;)

TANGLES: Well, it all works out then, cuz I’ve got a thing too.

ME: I’ll miss you.

TANGLES: I know ;P

I take a deep breath in. I don’t know how I’m going to put her in my pocket for two whole hours. That will be our longest break since New Year’s. It’s too bad I have to be the one to break the streak, but my parents are making me go to the stupid support group.
“Son, this is going to help you get back behind the wheel. She’s going to get pretty suspicious if you never drive down to see her.”
My parent’s persuasive words keep knocking at the back of my mind, reminding me why this is so important. As soon as snow sports ends, I’m out of rides. I’ll only be able to see her if I drive myself down there.

A small rush of adrenaline courses through me, just thinking about it.
Crap.
The realization strikes again.
The only way I’m going to be able to see her is if I drive myself down there.
I take a deep breath and release it.
Maybe Mom and Dad are right. This is for my own good. And hers.

I’m a bundle of nerves on the car ride down. “Do I really have to talk to strangers about it? Nobody’s going to understand. They’re going to think I’m a freak. What seventeen year old guy is afraid to drive?” I feel sick.

“Just give them a chance. You have no idea what those people have been through. They’re all there for a reason. It’s a trauma support group. They’re going to understand. And, you’re going to find out that you’re not the only one who’s been through a tragedy. Breathe, Caden. You’re turning blue.”

I’m holding my stomach, trying to settle the nervous ball of vomit trying to claw its way up my throat. The snowy road isn’t helping.

“Do you need a soda or something? You really look like you’re going to be sick.”

“I’ll be fine. Let’s just get this over with. Where is it anyway?”

“It’s in the old catholic church.”