The Dead List (11 page)

My mouth twitched as I fought a smile. “You know, both of you—”

A high pitched shriek cut me off. The sound was so loud and clear that it whipped through the noisy cafeteria, silencing everyone. I jumped to my feet just as Jensen did the same.

The shrieking sound came again and it was coming from Brock’s table. Without thinking, I stepped forward, but suddenly Jensen was there. He wrapped his hand around mine as he pulled me back.

At Brock’s table, Wendy was standing up, her hands pressed to her pale cheeks. She was still screaming—she hadn’t stop screaming. And everyone at the table had scattered, backing away with identical expressions of horror and disgust. Someone—Monica—had bent over at the waist, her long black hair shielding her face as she started to gag.

“What the…?” I trailed off as I saw what lie on the table, next to Wendy’s book bag. “Oh my God.”

Pulling my hand free from Jensen’s, I smacked both over my mouth. Lying on the table was a red bird—a cardinal, the state bird. Its wings were tucked neatly behind its back, and in the center of its little chest were a handful of mini stakes. Dozens stabbed clean through it.

A horrible prank.

That was what the staff said once one of them had decided to check out why Wendy was screaming. That was what the teachers had said in the afternoon classes, where each one lectured us on the virtues of maturity.

I’d never known anyone to stab a bird and place it in someone’s book bag as a prank. It was sick and disturbing, and not even remotely funny. Not to mention, when had it happened? Wendy had to have the bag on her all morning. Wouldn’t she have, I don’t know, noticed a dead bird in there before lunch?

The sight of the dead bird lingered all day, which I imagined it was the same for everyone. Well, everyone except Linds, who, while in art class, had expressed her disappointment at not seeing Wendy freak out. But it was more than just the grotesque sight. The bird—the type of bird—made me think of the past, a place I didn’t need to dwell on.

When I got home that afternoon, the house was quiet and empty. Normally Mom would be driving to Huntington tonight, but after what happened this weekend, she was not making the trip.

But I was still alone until she got off.

Trying to concentrate, to have some sort of normality in my life, I’d plopped myself down on the couch and cracked open my history text and started my homework. It wasn’t until I read the same two pages four times that I dropped my highlighter in the crease of the book.

I pressed the tips of my fingers against my temples, massaging away the slight ache there. Weariness tugged at me, urging me to curl up and take a nap, but the idea of falling asleep while I was alone in the house wasn’t on the top of my to do list.

Maybe seeing Dr. Oliver really wasn’t going to be a bad idea.

Opening my eyes, I shifted my attention to the archway leading out into the hall and to the stairs. Coldness seized my insides. I stared at the open walkway, unsure if I’d heard something or if it was just my imagination, but the tips of my ears tingled.

There had been a noise, a soft thud upstairs—

The doorbell rang, throwing my heart against my ribs. “Jesus,” I gasped, popping to my feet. I hurried to the door and stretched up, peering through the tiny peephole.

“Whoa,” I murmured, spying the chiseled and striking profile of Jensen.

Two visits in less than twenty-four hours? Er, well, three if I considered the lunch thing a visit. Maybe four if I added in the self-defense class.

Beyond curious, I quickly unlocked the door and opened it. When he turned, the late afternoon sun kissed his cheek. “Hey,” I said lamely.

A half smile appeared. “Can I come in?”

Nodding, I stepped aside, a little caught off guard by his presence. It had been years since he’d been inside my house. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he walked toward the living room but stopped, turning to me.

Our gazes locked, and the moment stretched out to what felt like forever. An awareness cloaked my skin like a warm blanket. Several feet separated us, but as the intensity in his stare rooted me in place, it felt like he was right in front of me. Why was he here? Had he just wanted to see me? Many years ago he would just randomly show up, and I always looked forward to his impromptu visits, but that was then. We weren’t the same people anymore.

I really needed to say something. “Would you, um, like to sit down?”

He tilted his head to the side. “Sure.”

Feeling the back of my neck heat, I led Jensen into the living room. He went straight to the couch, picked up my history text and carefully closed it, keeping the highlighter in so I didn’t lose my place.

He dropped on the couch, leaning back and extending his left arm along the back. “We didn’t get a chance to talk about when you wanted to do the lessons.”

“Oh!” I wanted to smack myself. Of course he had a valid reason to be here that didn’t involve his sudden inability to stay away from me. Forcing myself to act like I had some common sense, I sat beside him. “Yeah, the whole… bird thing kind of distracted everyone.”

“Yeah, wasn’t expecting to see that during lunch.” He paused and his jaw tightened as his gaze dipped beyond my face. He cursed under his breath.

I stiffened, not understanding at first, and then I became aware of what he was staring at. With my hair pulled back, my neck was visible. I hadn’t expected anyone to stop by. Conscious of the ugly bruises that were mostly hidden when my hair was down, I reached up to pull my hair down, but like a snake striking, he moved before I saw him.

Jensen caught my wrist and lowered my hand. “You don’t have to do that.”

Heat rushed across my cheeks and then zinged through my veins as his hand slid up my arm, his long fingers reaching the sensitive skin on the inside of my elbow. My mouth dried as a shiver of responsiveness danced over my skin.

“Does it hurt at all?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Not really.” The truth was my throat, like my cheek and ribs, ached every so often. Nothing major. Could be worse kind of thing.

“It looks like it does.” His thumb moved in a slow, small circle along the inside of my elbow. “You came…” He trailed off as he let go of my arm, his fingers trailing down my arm as he leaned back. “You know what I was thinking today?”

Swallowing a breath, I shook my head again. The contact had left me a bit frazzled. “What?”

“When I saw the bird on the table at lunch?” He looked away, a muscle thrumming along his jaw. “I thought about… I thought about Penn.”

I jerked back as if I’d been slapped. I didn’t know what to say. My tongue tied into a knot, like the ones forming in my stomach.

His gaze slid back to mine. “Remember how he loved birds?”

My pulse kicked up and it took a few moments to speak. “Yeah, I do.”

“Cardinals were his favorite,” he said quietly, watching me intently. “So were bluebirds, but the cardinals…”

An ache pierced my chest, like it always did whenever I thought about Penn, which was something I tried not to do often. But I missed him something fierce. “He liked their mohawks and the black mask. Thought they looked badass.”

“Yeah.” His lips curved up slightly. “Anyway, it was a weird thing to think, right?”

“I don’t think so. I thought it, too,” I admitted, nervously toying with the hem of my shirt. If anything, that had haunted me more.

“He used to—”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” I interrupted, unable to help myself. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to.”

Jensen was quiet for a moment as he studied me. “Okay. So what about lessons? You still down for them?”

“Are you?”

He lowered his hand, tapping his fingers off my arm. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

“Why?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He cocked his head to the side. “Why what?”

“Why do you want to help me?” The moment the question came out, an entire butt load of things I shouldn’t say spilled forth. “I mean, I don’t get it. I know you said yesterday that you didn’t hate me, but we haven’t talked in years and neither of us have taken the opportunity to do so, but you’re here now and I… I just don’t understand why now, after all this time, you’re here again.”

He rubbed his palm along his smooth jaw. “You want to know the truth?”

“What? Ms. Reed is paying you to help me?”

Jensen gave me a long look. “Uh. No. That’s not the truth.”

“Well, that’s good,” I murmured, leaning back against the cushions.

“Okay. I’m going to be real with you.” Jensen sat forward and the distance between us evaporated like water on a hot summer day. He was right there, eye level with me, and my heart did a little cartwheel. “There have been many times I’ve wanted to talk to you. That I thought about picking up the phone and calling you. Or seeing if your email address was still the same. And when I came back? Every time when I drove past your house, I wanted to stop and talk to you. Every. Single. Time.”

Now my heart did a backflip—a perfect one.

“But I never did. I don’t know why.” His eyes deepened to that darker blue, almost cobalt. “Maybe it’s because I never knew what to really say. Or maybe it had to do with the fact I knew you were Gavin, because yeah, I looked at your Facebook.”

My eyes widened. I’d totally Facebook stalked him. Or at least tried. His profile was private, his tweets on Twitter protected.

“And you were with him when I came back. Didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. I get that. I just don’t know. I wish I could tell you why, but I can’t. And I’m sorry, and I know that doesn’t change anything, but after Saturday…”

Jensen closed his eyes briefly, and I stilled until the only thing moving was my pounding heart. “After what happened Saturday, it seemed stupid to continue the way we were, because what if those headlights didn’t turn on? What if I wasn’t walking to my truck that very moment?”

I shivered, knowing the answer.

“And when Ms. Reed called me into her office, she practically handed me a way of weaseling back into your life on a silver platter. I took it and that’s why I’m here. Because we were… God,” he laughed sadly. “We were best friends, Ella, and I screwed that up. I know I did, but we were friends and I want to be friends again.”

Jensen dipped his chin, staring up at me through impossibly long lashes. “And after being with you for an hour yesterday, I realized just how much I’ve missed you.”

Friends—he wanted to be friends again, and while I wasn’t sure how I could really be
just
a friend to him, my breath caught. And since he put it out there, I would put it out there, too. It was only fair. “I’ve… I’ve missed you, too. A lot.”

He was still for a moment and I wasn’t even sure he breathed, but then he smiled—a real smile, and it reached his eyes, transforming his coolly handsome face into something breathtaking. “That’s good,” he said in a low voice. “That’s a start.”

A start to what?

But the question floated away as he leaned in, pressing his forehead against mine, and it was so not-a-friend move, that I was speechless. My eyes drifted shut as his warm breath danced over my lips, and even though I knew he wouldn’t kiss me, because who kissed a girl after asking to be friends, my imagination went there. I could almost feel his lips, and I could almost taste the mint on his breath. Muscles throughout my body clenched.

“So,” he murmured. “Friends?”

I sucked in a breath as he tilted his head just the slightest. “Friends.”

“Good.” There was a pause. “About self-defense lessons…?”

“What about them?” I wanted him to touch me—to put his arms around me. Friends did that, right? I mean, really close friends did. Totally.

As if he knew what I was thinking, what I wanted, he shifted his body, drawing his leg up until it was pressed against mine. He still hadn’t pulled back. “I can do whenever.”

“Me too.”

The very tips of his fingers brushed the curve of my jaw, and that was decidedly not friendly, but I didn’t care. “Then tomorrow?”

“After school?”

“Yeah,” he said, and our mouths were so close we were sharing the same breath. “Cool for you?”

I nodded, causing our noses to brush, and Jensen was next to suck in a deep breath. Those fingers trailed up my jaw, reaching the tiny pieces of hair that had escaped my ponytail. Something was about to happen. I could feel the shift in him, the deep change, and a spark of nervousness rose inside me, but there was more. A yearning—a sweet, fiery anticipation that overshadowed common sense and even our past. I wanted nothing—

The doorbell rang, thrusting us apart. Breathing heavily, my eyes popped open, and Jensen was watching me, the pupils of his eyes dilated.

Had we been seconds away from kissing?

The doorbell rang again, jarring in the silence.

One side of his lips tipped. “You gonna get that?”

“Yeah. Yeah,” I repeated, pushing to my feet. I moved through the living room in a daze, thinking that it better be Santa Claus on the other side of the damn door.

It wasn’t Santa.

Or his elves.

Or reindeer.

It was Gavin.

“Hey,” I said, proving I was the Queen of Greetings.

He smiled. “Can I come in?” Before I could say a word, he strolled on in. “I thought I’d keep you company until your mom got home. I figured you probably didn’t want to be sitting around…”

Gavin trailed off as he entered the living room and realized that I wasn’t alone. He stopped right in front of me, and I bounced off his back.

From the couch, Jensen tipped his head up in greeting. “What’s up?”

The atmosphere shifted the very second Gavin walked into the living room and saw Jensen, whose lazy, arrogant sprawl on the couch suddenly felt misleading, as if he could pop to his feet at any given second and without warning.

“Hey,” Gavin said slowly, and then glanced back at me. Confusion flickered across his face. “I didn’t know he was here.”

“Yeah.” I stepped around him, looking back and forth between the two guys. “He stopped by not too long ago.”

“Oh,” Gavin said.

And that was all that he said.