The Day to Remember (13 page)

“Ahh,
right.” He was unconvinced. “So, what made you decide to call me?”

“I … I needed a distraction.” I realized how offensive that may have sounded, and said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I just …”

He laughed. “No need to explain. I get it. You’re looking for a fun time.” He gave me a sinful smile and reached over and brushed his finger along my jawline, sending goose bumps down my arms. “And I’m
a lot
of fun.”

“Are you going to kiss me?” I heard myself ask out loud. I then cringed at how stupid I must have sounded.

He leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, “Well that’s up to you.” He lingered near my face and I could feel his hot breath against my ear and down my neck. “What would you like to do?”

“I
…” my voice trailed off. A small part of me wanted to kiss him, wanted to think about something else besides Brandon.

He didn’t wait for me to decide. Before I could register what was happening, his lips were
on mine, sucking and tasting my lips and tongue like an expert.

I heard myself left out a moan, and a wave of guilt washed over me. I quickly pushed it away—I’m here to
not
think about Brandon. With that thought, I pulled Damian closer towards me and kissed him back with force and desperation. I thought maybe, just maybe, the more contact I felt from Damian, the less I would be tormented by thoughts of Brandon.

Damian responded as only he could. In one swift movement, he was on top of me
and laid my back onto the couch. He anchored himself on top of me with one hand as his mouth continued to explore mine, the other hand glided its way under my shirt and effortlessly unhooked my bra strap. Within seconds, his rough hands cupped and kneaded my breast. Then all my clothes were off and on the floor.

“Fuck, your body is amazing,” he growled as he admired me with lust-filled eyes.
“The things I can do to you.”

Nerves started to worked their way through my drunken stupor
as I saw him take off his shorts, revealing his long and hard erection.

The second
his naked body was on top of mine, I knew everything was all wrong. I knew I didn’t want to do this—no matter how much I was upset with Brandon, no matter how much pain I wanted to escape from. This just wasn’t me.

“Stop!
” I cried.

“What the fuck?” Damian jumped off of me, confused at what just happened.

“I … I can’t do this. I—” I wasn’t sure what to say.

Damian laughed and shook his head, “
You’re a fucking tease, you know that? A
hot
fucking tease.”

I looked at him in disbelief. “Why are you laughing? You’re not upset?”

“Well, I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t want to fuck you tonight. But, no. I’m not upset. Like I said at the bar the other night, you’re not a bad girl. You’re just going through some shit.”

“I’m sorry, Damian.” I broke into a sob as I thought about everything that had happened earlier tonight.

“Hey, hey. This apartment is a no-cry zone. Don’t cry. We don’t have to have sex,” he teased. “Honestly, I’m surprise you’ve gone this far.”

“
Oh.” I looked at him in surprise. “Damian, you’re actually a nice guy.”

He laughed. “
Don’t be fooled. I’m not a nice guy. But I’m also not a guy who will force someone to do something they don’t want to do. I’ll rock your world if you want me to. But if you don’t want the best sex of your life, no hard feelings. There’s plenty of girls who will.”

I giggled, and then sighed. “Thanks for cheering me up.”

“No problem. So what do you want to do then?” He gave me a wicked smile.

“Well, first, I should put on my
clothes,” I said as I picked up my clothes from the floor.

“That’s unf
ortunate,” he teased.

“Do you mind if I sl
eep—just sleep—with you tonight? I just don’t want to be alone,” I admitted.

“Not a problem.
Hey, I’ll be right back,” he said as he got up from the couch.

“Where are you going?”

“Bathroom to jack off,” he said matter-of-factly. Then he looked at me and then at his erection. “This shit doesn’t go down on its own, so if we’re not having sex tonight, I’ll have to put it to bed.” He laughed at his joke.

“Oh,” I said.

My eyes followed his gaze and saw his rock, hard erection and quickly looked away. My face was hot with embarrassment.

He laughed. “Again, good girl,” he said as he pointed a finger at me.

I stared in shock after him as he walked completely naked towards the backroom.

He laughed when he noticed the shocked look on my face.
“What can I say? I’m what you’d call a man-whore.” With that, he closed the bathroom door behind him and jacked off.

Brandon

A few weeks have passed since the night Emma told me about her secret. It was the last thing I had expected from that night. I knew secrets would be revealed, but I thought I was the only one revealing them, not her.

My heart went out to her when she told me about her past. I saw the pain in her eyes and I would have done anything to take it away for her. But I was powerless to change her past, just as I was powerless to change my present—to change what happened with Des.

Going into that night, I knew our relationship hung in the balance. I knew that my mistake with Des and my lies would jeopardize my relationship with Emma, and I had planned for any possible response Emma could have had when she heard the news. I thought I was prepared to tackle all of the possibilities to make sure we would remain together. What I didn’t expect was her past and how it played into the consequences of my mistake with Des. What I didn’t expect was to lose Emma, and to lose myself in the process.

During
the weeks after that night in the rain, I did not give up on Emma. I thought that she just needed time to digest the information about Des’s pregnancy, much like I did when I first found out. I thought that after a week or so, she would come around, we would work things out, and we would get back to normal.

But
that didn’t happen.

I tried calling her and texting her, but she wouldn’t pick up.
I stopped by her workstation once at work, and she told me not to bring in our personal issues into work or she would be forced to quit. After that day, I stopped bothering her at work. But I continued calling and texting. She continued to not respond to me.

Finally one night, I couldn’t sleep. I felt an overwhelming need to see her and talk to her. Like a crazed man, I went to her place
at three in the morning and rung the buzzer to her building. To my surprise, she picked up the buzzer.

“Hello?” Her voice sounded groggy. I must have awoke
n her.

“Emma, I need to see you,” I begged.

“Brandon?” The groggy was immediately gone from her voice.

“Yes, can you let me in?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea … I have nothing to say to you.”

“Emma, please? I just don’t understand why we can’t be together. I’m not with Des. I’ll
always take care of the baby regardless of who I’m with.”
Why couldn’t she understand that?

“Brandon, I don’t expect you to understand this, but I hope you can respect my wishes on this. Please let me go. Please let us go,” she
said softly.

“But I can’t let you do this. We love each other. I know this is not what you want.”

There was silence for a moment.

“Brandon, I’ve moved on,” she said coldly.

“What? What do you mean?”

“
I’m with someone else now. His name’s Damian. Please accept that we’re over. Good night.”

I heard her click off.
I leaned my head against the intercom, my mind reeling from what she had just said.

She’s with someone else
now? Damian? Wasn’t he the guy she met at the bar when she called me in L.A.?

My chest ached at the news. Could it be true? Could she really have moved on so quickly?

I went back home with a heavier heart. That night, I did not fall asleep.

Emma

It was three weeks since that night in the rain, the night my relationship with Brandon ended, the night my chances of the fairy tale ending with the man of my dreams shattered into a million pieces.

Brandon
had tried to contact me a number of times since then, but I had managed to avoid most of his efforts. At work, I only saw him once a week at the weekly status conferences. But other than that, he had respected my wishes to be left alone, and had not approached me at work. While I was relieved, another part of me secretly wished that he would stop by and see me. That part of me desperately wanted to know how he was doing and what was going on in his life.

The last time he had tried contacting me was in the middle of the night last week. I was fast asleep when my buzzer went off. In my half-awake state, I answered the buzzer. It was Brandon. I knew I had to hurt him in order for him to let me go, in o
rder for both of us to move on. I needed to move on, because each time he contacted me, a tiny piece of irrational hope fluttered into my heart, and each time, I was left devastated when I thought about the unborn child. So I lied to him. I told him that I had moved on. It had killed me to imagine how much that would have hurt him, but I knew that it was better than the prolonged pain of false hope we both shared.

I
told the girls about our breakup, but only the part about Des being pregnant. I never told the girls—not even Jill—about my father. It had been a secret I have kept buried and locked in a deep vault inside me. I wouldn’t have told Brandon if he hadn’t pushed at a time where I was so vulnerable and wounded that I had to tell him. It was the one thing that I was ashamed of, the one thing I could never change about myself, and the one thing I hated about my life.

I o
ccasionally hung out with Damian. Steph was right, he was a good distraction. He was wild and carefree, and when I was with him, I didn’t have to think or feel. I never had sex with him though. I just couldn’t. Damian seemed fine with that, but he was open with the fact that he was sleeping with other women. That was fine with me. I just needed someone to keep my mind off Brandon—to keep my heart frozen and numbed from pain.

But even with Damian keeping me busy, there were still moments where I would get a wave of longing for Brandon so strong, I found it difficult to draw breath.

My phone beeped. It was Damian:
Meet you at the steps of Union Square Park in 15?

I responded:
Yup! See you there.

It was the week before Christmas, and Damian and I were meeting up and helping each other with some last minute Christmas shopping around Union Square.

On my way out of my building, I checked the mail. There was a small package for me. It was from Jill’s parents.
They’re too sweet
. I excitedly opened the package and found an infinity dream necklace in a light blue, velvet pouch. Scrawled on a holiday card accompanying the necklace was a note from Gary and Sue, Jill’s parents:

Merry Christmas, Emma!

We hope this year has brought you much success and happiness in your life—in your career, in your health, and most importantly, in love. We saw this infinity dream necklace in a small shop in Verona, Italy—Italy’s “City of Love.” We immediately thought of you. You have always been a dreamer. So with this necklace, may all your dreams come true. We wish you a warm holiday season with lots of love and laughter.

Love always,

Gary & Sue

Tears rolled down
my face as I finished reading the note. Jill was just like her parents: kind, generous, and loving. I put on the round infinity dream necklace around my neck, and I smiled and felt a little more hopeful for the future.

I walked the six blocks down to Union Square from my place. It was a brisk December afternoon and the street
s were bustling with shoppers. I sat on the steps of Union Square Park and smiled to myself as I took in the holiday decorations, festive music, and people all around me. The Christmas season always cheered me up.

“Hey gorgeous,” came a husky voice from behind me.
Damian pulled me in for a hug and kissed me on the cheek.

“Hey. Ready for some shopping?” I asked brightly.

He groaned. “No, but let’s get it over with. Thanks for forcing me to do this.”

“Of course. I need a distraction.” I laughed.

Damian rolled his eyes. “I’m your go-to distraction.”

“Well, most of my other distractions usually cost money. You’re free,” I teased.

“Right. Hm. I should start charging.” He made a face at me and I laughed.

As we walked, I noticed all the girls we passed gaze lustfully
at Damian. I turned and looked at him, and even though I saw the appeal, I did not feel the fast palpitations in my heart that I had felt with Brandon.