The Day the Flowers Died (15 page)

With those words, those familiar words reminding her of Aaron,
Eli’s friend, who had lost his job because of too many client
complaints, Rebecca knew exactly how the job had found its way into
her fortunate lap.  She nodded, knowing she would be given the
job, knowing she would take it, and knowing guilt would bother her
because of it.

* * *

Eli awoke Sunday morning early.  He desired to divert
himself from the breakup with Rebecca and focused on his job with
his father.  He didn’t know how long he would be able to keep
his mind occupied, pushing thoughts of her eyes, smile and body
away, but he would attempt it.  Rebecca asked him to
leave.  He had to respect her request.

Neither her family nor his demanded this breakup, though he knew
their pressures influenced her decision.  Nor was it a social
requirement she had no choice but to follow.  Rebecca made
this decision with her own free will.  He couldn’t hold it
against her, but it left him with no choice but to dive into the
life of law.

He walked into work with his lips pressed tightly, holding in
the recent unsettling events of his life, discouraging talk about
it, keeping it from his father.  He did not want to invoke
drama around the breakup, a decision he had not fully accepted
himself.  He shuffled the papers on his desk and organized the
files for the upcoming cases.  He ensured the papers his
father needed were classified correctly, ready to be picked up by
Ezekiel when he dropped by Eli’s office before the ending of the
day.

Eli and his father developed this new routine, a system used
where they did not need to rely on a clerk at the courthouse. 
Eli would handle the organization and his father or himself would
handle the disclosure for the opposing council, receiving the files
again before the day of the case.  The system worked.

Eli used every minute, every second fighting his urge to invite
the thoughts of Rebecca back into his life.  Everything was a
distraction from keeping those thoughts seeping too far inside
where he would not be able to flee from them.  Work was the
only place they had not shared together.  But the files,
papers, and busy work only kept Rebecca at bay until late morning
when Eli picked up the newspaper and read a critique on the tenor
sounds of Joseph Schmidt.

The memories broke the dam he tried to build and she flooded his
mind.  Events of the day they spent in the theatre, sitting
side by side, invaded his space, her gentle touch to his hand on
the theatre seat, her coy laughter, her long brunette locks
brushing against his face as he handed her the popcorn. 
Everything about her on that day infused with his current day and
then all the other safely contained memories broke free, refusing
to be ignored.  Everywhere he went, everyone he saw in one way
or another reminded him of her.  She could leave him, but she
would never leave his mind, his heart, his soul — pieces of her
would always remain in him.

* * *

One morning in the middle of the following week, Rebecca slept
in her bed and swung her arm up over the pillow in an unconscious
attempt to grab a hold of Eli.  To her, he lay next to her
where he should be.  Her arm grasped for his body, needing him
close to her, but it hit the hard mattress instead.  She awoke
and her fingers lingered in the emptiness beside her.  A slow
tear fell from her eyes and to her bed and then the alarm
sounded.

She hurried to bathe and clothe herself in the white uniform
provided by the hospital.  She rushed down to catch her taxi
and scurried through the front doors of the hospital.  From
the moment she walked into the building her day filled with
patients needing care.  Some needed her assistance with
walking.  Some needed her help with paperwork.  Some
needed a shoulder to cry on and, in the midst of all the healing
she provided, her own soul felt as if it was breaking.

“Rebecca, we need you in the back room.  A patient is
convulsing.” A doctor from the back yelled out to her through the
swinging doors leading to the front office.

She hastened to the back room where they put difficult
patients.  The bald old man was coughing.  A nurse had
him pinned down with her hand to his arm at one end and a doctor
holding him at the other.

Rebecca darted to the patient’s side and the doctor smiled at
her with just the left side of his mouth as he released his hand
and brushed past her.  The old man’s body violently pushed up
and down on the bed and Rebecca compared his pain to the way she
felt the past week, though hers was not a convulsing of the
physical body, but of the heart.  The doctor gave the man a
shot which settled his body and the nurses freed their hands from
their stringent grip.

* * *

Saturday morning, Eli stood outside their building, behind a
wall on the other side of the street that fronted another
apartment.  He wore his grey trench coat hanging over grey
slacks and a white buttoned shirt whose collar had not been ironed
down well.  He watched Rebecca’s room, her lights flickering
on and her shadow behind the curtain until she drew it back and her
soft face came into view.

He missed seeing her so much, he could barely breathe upon
seeing her now, though in secret, though uninvited.  He felt
partly like a thief stealing something that did not belong to him,
except she was a part of him and her physical separation didn’t
change that fact for him.  He watched her prance down the
steps leading to the sidewalk where they had their first
conversation and his eyes glazed over her as she sprinted across a
side street to catch a cab.  In his mind he stood next to her,
holding the door open for her and slipping into the cab beside
her.  He wanted to be there and only there.

Rebecca took the cab downtown to meet two new friends from the
hospital.  They all had this weekend off and decided to enjoy
the day with coffee and shopping.  The first friend was short
with a full figure, and because she was older, the relationship
developed into something akin to a daughter and mother.  The
second friend to greet her was lean, and young with blonde curly
hair that swept past her shoulders and, like Rebecca, had attended
University against her parents’ wishes.  Rebecca enjoyed her
company because they both had to overcome social pressures of
staying home and marrying in order to follow their careers.

The three of them sipped their coffees and then continued to
shop.  Window shopping had always been a pleasure for Rebecca,
but every time she passed a clothing shop, she saw a tie and
thought of Eli and his assorted collection.  Then her mind
wandered to the New Year’s Eve party when Eli wore a grey tie with
silver sparkles in support of the free spirit that night and she
found herself in a regrettable demeanor.  But Rebecca decided
to enjoy this time out with her friends all the same despite her
heavy heart.

Sunday morning, Rebecca awoke to the sounds of her own short
scream, an ache resonating Eli’s name on her lips.  Her bones
physically shook for him.  His touch.  His jokes. 
His whisper in her ear.  She could almost see him next to her
and feel her fingers playing with his hair.  He would be there
now if she had not asked him to go.  A mirage of the man she
knew, the man she loved stole her breath and she knew in that
moment she could not be without him.

She threw on her cotton pale pink skirt that fell past the knees
and her white blouse with a lace collar before running out of her
room, pinching up her hair with bobby pins while she hurried. 
She raced up the steps leading to his room and knocked, hoping it
wasn’t too late, and hoping she hadn’t severed the bonds.  She
found herself waiting at the door with no answer and tapped on it
again.

But Eli was not at home.

Rebecca hurried down the steps and swung the front door of the
apartment building open, searching with her eyes, with her mind at
where Eli could be this early Sunday morning.  Her heels
clicked hard against the cobblestone sidewalk, running up to the
city’s busy street.  When she reached its end, her heel
snapped at the same time she saw Eli walking back from the
park.

Her eyes made contact with his and her body tipped
further.  Her arms pushed forward, ready to brace herself for
the fall but, before she hit the ground, Eli grabbed hold of
her.  She toppled over, unable to balance on only one heel and
he giggled.

“Have you got it?”

Rebecca smiled a wide, long smile.  “I think so.” One leg
stood higher than the other.  Eli released his grip, but she
didn’t want him to let go.  She grasped for his arms, no
longer a mirage of her mind, and pulled him toward her, soaking him
in.

“I don’t want to have to miss you.” She nestled her head in his
chest covered in a warm beige coat.

“I don’t want you to.” He brushed his fingers over her hair bun
and down her neck.  “I’m right here.” From all the hours,
minutes, seconds they spent apart, a longing ached inside of each
of them, leading them back to Rebecca’s room.  In the darkness
of the lights turned off, Eli swirled with her in his arms and
lifted her to her bed.

“I love you,” he confessed a third time, but to her the words
were still as fresh as if they had just been said.  “Even when
I am away from you, you are all I see.” With his words, Rebecca bit
her lip and carried them to his, as he wrestled with her beauty,
and she became lost in his touch.  Every minuscule motion of
his fingers over her skin felt like a wave of water rushing over
her, a saturation of sensation.  Every brush of their bodies
collided as if particles from their separate bodies mixed and
pieces of themselves became one another’s, drifting in and out and
it was as if there was never any separation between them.

Thursday, June 2, 1932

Eli and Rebecca had spent the last two weekends together since
their makeup, never parting, waking up in each other’s arms. 
But Rebecca had to work both Saturday and Sunday this
weekend.  Her shift gave her Thursday and Friday off and Eli
stopped by her place Thursday evening to spend time with her,
calling his father to let him know he wouldn’t be at work on
Friday.  His father, not asking him why, had a hint of the
reason and, though displeased, finally agreed and found someone to
cover Eli’s work for the day.

With President Hindenburg calling Chancellor Bruening to resign
in the end of May, one of the few men who had stood up to Hitler,
this new month carried in its air a sense of loss for
democracy.  Eli knew Hindenburg was not to blame, but that the
pressures from Schleicher and Hitler had resulted in this. 
Schleicher, a man for the conservative nationalist government, was
now in control.  His devious nature and backhanded maneuvers
with Hitler only heightened Hindenburg’s concern for the future of
Germany, but Eli imagined that, to Hindenburg, Schleicher seemed
the lesser of two evils.

Eli and Rebecca planned to spend the evening together and Friday
morning to attend the Anti-Fascist demonstration in Berlin
organized by the Communist and Social Democrat parties. 
Though neither of them favored communist politics to democratic
politics and neither encouraged the often violent and agitated
efforts to stop the Nazi party, this effort took a stand against
Hitler.  A few of Eli’s friends would attend, too.  Aaron
and Jacob, like Eli, felt it was their civic duty to break the hold
Fascism had on the country and Robert and Rosalyn wanted to show
their support of the Communist party.

Thursday evening, when Eli arrived at Rebecca’s place, he
brought with him a new camera he bought at the shop in downtown
Munich.  He took it out of his carry bag and Rebecca’s face
lit up.  On the side was engraved Leica II and it was small
enough to carry in one hand.  It had a silver metal rim on the
top and bottom and a metal button on the right hand top side. 
The lens popped out of the center of the camera also with metal
rims and Rebecca played with it, admiring its ingenuity.

Rebecca also had a camera, a 1922 Conley Kewpie, her mother had
bought her ten years ago when she was just thirteen, stored away in
her closet.  It was more like a box and she usually had to
stroll it around with her using both hands, taking postcard size
images.

Eli slipped his new camera out from her grasping hands and took
an impromptu photo of her.  He caught her just as she leaned
in toward him, trying to grab the camera, while her hair needed
brushing, and cascaded over her shoulders.  Her smile revealed
her white teeth.  The flash made her close her eyes and she
called out to him in disgruntled amusement.

“Eli,” she said with disapproval and Eli broke into laughter at
the surprised expression on her face.  Rebecca darted toward
him but he scurried out of the way and ran into the bedroom. 
He leapt on top of the mattress with the camera still in his hands
and pointed the lens at her as she jumped into the air, landing
next to him to steal the coveted item.

He snapped another photo of her and then released the camera
into her hands.  She rubbed her fingers over it like she had
confiscated a hidden, valuable treasure.  “This is so clever,”
she said.  Eli pranced off the bed like a child at Christmas
and raced out to the porch.

Rebecca followed him, ready to take his photo.  “Stay
there.  This is a good shot.” She waved her hand, motioning
him to lean backward into the banister.

“Like this?” He leaned his head and body into the railing, his
face still focused in her direction.  The soft summer sun
dropped behind the horizon and over his face, lighting up his dark
chocolate eyes with orange and yellow sun light.

“Not so far back,” she exclaimed while her summer dress swayed
in the breeze.  Eli leaned into the metallic banister. 
He pulled himself forward a bit and Rebecca snapped the camera
button.  “It’s stuck,” she declared.  Eli grinned and
ambled toward her.