Authors: Stefan Grabinski
At the present moment he was in an almost trance-like state. The train now carrying him had departed yesterday morning from Paris. Whether he got on at the French capital or at some station along the route, he didn’t know. He had departed from somewhere and was now heading somewhere else – that’s all he could say … .
He adjusted himself on the cushions, stretched out his legs, and lit a cigar. He felt distaste, almost repugnance. He always experienced similar feelings at the sight of a conductor or, for that matter, any railwayman. These people were a symbol of certain deficiencies or of an underdevelopment, and personified the imperfection that he saw in the railway system. Szygon understood that he made his unusual journeys under the influence of cosmic and elemental forces, and that train travel was a childish compromise caused by the circumstances of his earthly environment. He realized only too well that if it weren’t for the sad fact that he was chained to the Earth and its laws, his travels, casting off the usual pattern and method, would take on an exceedingly more active and beautiful form.
It was precisely the railway and its employees that embodied for him that rigid formula, that vicious circle from which he, a man, a poor son of the Earth, tried vainly to break out of.
That is why he despised these people; sometimes, he even hated them. This aversion to ‘servants of a charter for leisurely rambling,’ as he contemptuously called them, increased in direct proportion to his fantastic ‘flights,’ of which he was ashamed not so much for their aimlessness, but rather because they were conceived on such a pitiful scale.
This feeling of detestation was augmented by the little incidents and quarrels with the train authorities that were inevitable due to his unnatural state. On certain lines the employees seemed to already know him well, and during his journeys he would frequently detect the cruel smile of a porter, conductor or railway official.
The conductor attending the coach he was now riding seemed to be particularly familiar. That lean, pitted face – lit up with a jeering little smile at the sight of him – had passed before his dreamy, faraway eyes not just once. At least, that’s what he thought … .
But most of all Szygon was irritated by railway advertisements and uniforms. How funny was the pathos of those travel allegories hanging about waiting rooms, how pretentious the sweeping gestures of those little geniuses of speed! Yet the most comical impression was created by those winged circles on the caps and lapels of the officials. What nerve! What fantasy! At the sight of these insignias, Szygon frequently had the urge to tear them off and replace them with a likeness of a dog chasing its own tail … .
His cigar glowed peacefully, filling the compartment with small clouds of bluish smoke. Little by little the fingers holding the cigar lazily loosened and the fragrant trabuco rolled under the seat, spattering a rocket of tiny sparks. Szygon was asleep … .
A fresh release of steam in the pipes lisped quietly under his feet, spreading a cosy warmth about the compartment. A mosquito, unusual for the season, hummed a faint song, made a few nervous circles and hid itself in a dark recess among plush protuberances. And once again there was only the gentle flicker of the gas-burner and the rhythmic clatter of wheels … .
At some time during the night Szygon woke up. He rubbed his forehead, changed his sleeping position, and glanced about the compartment. To his surprise and displeasure he noticed that he was not alone: he had a travelling companion. Opposite him, spread out comfortably on the cushions, sat a railway official puffing on a cigarette and impertinently exhaling the smoke in his direction. Beneath this person’s neglectfully unbuttoned jacket Szygon could see a velvet vest, and he was reminded of certain station-master with whom he had had a blazing row. The railway official had, however, a familiar blood-red kerchief wrapped around his neck, just under a stiff collar with three stars and several winged circles, and this reminded Szygon of the insolent conductor who had irritated him earlier with his little smile.
‘What the devil?!’ he thought, carefully looking at the intruder’s physiognomy. ‘Why, quite clearly it’s the loathsome face of that conductor! The same emaciated, sunken cheeks, the same smallpox marks. But from where did he get that rank and uniform?’
Meanwhile the ‘intruder’ apparently noticed the interest of his fellow traveller. He let out a cone of smoke and, after lightly brushing ash from his sleeve, put his hand to the peak of his cap and greeted him with a very sweet smile:
‘Good evening!’
‘Good evening,’ Szygon answered dryly.
‘Have you been travelling far?’
‘At the moment I’m not in a social mood. I generally like to travel in silence. That’s why I usually choose a solitary compartment and pay extra for the pleasure.’
Undeterred by the blunt retort, the railwayman smiled delightfully and continued with great composure:
‘It doesn’t matter. You’ll slowly acquire the verve for speaking. It’s just a question of practise and habit. Solitude is, as is known, a bad companion. Man is a social animal –
zoon politikon –
isn’t that true?’
‘If you want to consider yourself an animal, I personally have nothing against it. I am just a man.’
‘Excellent!’ the official pronounced. ‘See how your tongue has loosened. It’s not as bad as it seems. On the contrary, you possess a great talent for conversation, particularly in the direction of parrying questions. We’ll slowly improve. Yes, yes,’ he added patronizingly, ‘somehow we’ll make a go of it; somehow.’
Szygon squinted his eyes and studied the intruder.
After a moment of silence, the persistent railwayman continued: ‘Unless I’m mistaken we are old acquaintances. We’ve seen each other several times in the past.’
Szygon’s resistance slowly melted. The insolence of this person who insulted him with impunity, and for no apparent reason, disarmed him. He became interested in knowing more about this ‘station-master.’
It’s possible,’ he said, after clearing his throat. ‘Only it seems to me that until recently you wore some other uniform.’
At that moment a curious metamorphosis transformed the railwayman. The shirt with the glittering gold tinsel stars disappeared, the red railway cap vanished, and now, instead of the kindly-smiling station-master, sat opposite Szygon the stooping, dishevelled and sneering conductor, with his shabby jacket, and the ever-present bouquet of small lanterns attached to his person.
Shocked, Szygon rubbed his eyes:
‘A transformation? Poof! Magic or what?!’
But already leaning toward him was the kindly ‘station-master,’ equipped with all the insignias of his office, while the conductor had hidden himself inside the uniform of a superior.
‘Ah, yes,’ he said casually, as if the process were nothing, ‘I’ve been promoted.’
‘I congratulate you,’ muttered Szygon, staring with amazement at the quick-change artist.
‘Yes, yes,’ the other chatted, ‘there “above” they know how to value energy and efficiency. They recognize a good person: I’ve become a station-master. The railway, my dear sir, is a great thing. It is worthwhile to spend one’s life in its service. A civilizing element! A swift go-between of nations, an exchange of cultures! Speed, my dear sir, speed and motion!’
Szygon disdainfully pursed his lips.
‘Mr. Station-master,’ he underlined scoffingly, ‘you’re surely joking. What kind of motion? Under today’s conditions, with improved technology, that excellent locomotive, the so-called
“Pacific Express”
in America, runs at 200 kilometres an hour; if we grant in due time a further increase to 250 kilometres, even 300 kilometres – what of it? We are looking at an end result; despite everything, we haven’t gone out even a millimetre beyond the Earth’s sphere.’
The station-master smiled, unconvinced. ‘What more do you want, sir? A wonderful velocity! 200 kilometres an hour! Long live the railway!’
‘Have you gone crazy?’ asked Szygon, already furious.
‘Not at all. I gave a cheer to the honour of our winged patron. How can you be against that?’
‘Even if you were able to attain a record 400 kilometres – what is that in the face of absolute motion?’
‘What?’ said the intruder, pricking up his ears. ‘I didn’t quite get that – absolute motion?’
‘What are all your journeys, even with the greatest speed imaginable, even on the farthest extended lines, in comparison to absolute motion and the fact that, in the end, despite everything, you remain on the ground. Even if you could invent a devilish train that would circumvent the entire globe in one hour, eventually you’d return to the same point you started from: you are chained to the ground.’
‘Ha, ha!’ scoffed the railwayman. ‘You are certainly a poet, my dear sir. You can’t be serious?’
‘What kind of influence can even the most terrific, fabulous speed of an earthly train have on absolute motion and its effect.’
‘Ha, ha, ha!’ bellowed the amused station-master.
‘None!’ shouted Szygon. ‘It won’t change its absolute path by even an inch; it won’t change its cosmic route even by a millimetre. We are riding on a globe turning in space.’
‘Like a fly on a rubber ball. Ha, ha, ha. What thoughts, what concepts! You are not only a first-class conversationalist, but a splendid humorist as well!’
‘Your pathetic train, your ant-like, frail train with its best, boldest “speed,” as you like to term it, relies – notice, I’m clearly underlining this – relies simultaneously on twenty relative motions, of which every one on its own is by far stronger and unquestionably more powerful than your miniature momentum.’
‘Hmm … interesting, most fascinating!’ derided the unyielding opponent. ‘Twenty relative motions – a substantial number.’
‘I’ve omitted the incidental ones which for certain no railwayman has even dreamed of, and will mention the principal, pivotal ones known to every schoolboy. A train rushing with the greatest fury from A to B has to simultaneously make a complete rotation with the Earth round its axis in a twenty-four hour period … .’
‘Ha, ha, ha! That’s novel, absolutely novel… .’
‘At the same time it whirls with the entire globe around the sun … .’
‘Like a moth around a lamp … .’
‘Spare me your jokes! They’re not interesting. But that’s not all. Together with the Earth and the Sun, the train goes along an elliptical line, relative to the constellation Centaurus, toward some unknown point in space to be found in the direction of the constellation Hercules.’
‘Philology at the service of astronomy.
Parbleu
! How profound!’
‘You’re an idiot, my dear sir! Let’s move over to the incidental motions. Have you ever heard anything about the Earth’s precessional movement?’
‘Maybe I’ve heard something about it. But what does all this concern us? Long live the motion of a train!’
Szygon fell into a rage. He raised his mallet-like hand and let it drop forcefully on the scoffer’s head. But his arm cut only through air: the intruder had vanished somewhere; the space opposite was suddenly vacant.
‘Ha, ha, ha!’ chortled someone from the other corner of the compartment.
Szygon turned around and spotted the ‘station-master’ squatting between the headrest and the net; somehow he had contracted himself to a small size, and now looked like an imp.
‘Ha, ha, ha! Well? Will we be civil in the future? If you want to talk further with me, then behave properly. Otherwise, I won’t come down. A fist, my dear sir, is too ordinary an argument.’
‘For thick-headed opponents it’s the only one; nothing else can be as persuasive.’
‘I’ve been listening,’ the other drawled, returning to his old place, ‘I’ve been listening patiently for quarter of an hour to your utopian theories. Now listen a little to me.’
‘Utopian?!’ growled Szygon. ‘The motions I’ve mentioned are therefore fictitious?’
‘I don’t deny their existence. But of what concern are they to me? I’m only interested in the speed of my train. The only conclusive thing for me is the motion of engines. Why should I be concerned about how much forward I’ve moved in relation to interstellar space? One has to be practical; I am a positivist, my dear sir.’
‘An argument worthy of a table leg. You must sleep well, Mr. Station-master?’
‘Thank you, yes. I sleep like a baby.’
‘Of course. That’s easy to figure out. People like you are not tormented by the Motion Demon.’
‘Ha, ha, ha! The Motion Demon! You’ll fallen onto the gist of the matter! You’ve hit upon my profitable idea – actually, to tell the truth, not mine, but merely commissioned by me from a certain painter at our station.’
‘A profitable idea? Commissioned?’
‘Oh, yes. It concerns a just-issued prospectus for a couple of new railway branches – the so-called
Vergnügungsbahn-linien.
Consider this – a type of publicity or poster that would encourage the public to use these new lines of communication. And so some vignette, some picture was needed, something like an allegory, or a symbol.’
‘Of motion?!’ Szygon paled.
‘Exactly. The aforementioned gentleman painted a mythical figure – a magnificent symbol that in no time swept through the waiting rooms of every station, not only in my country, but beyond its borders. And because I endeavoured to get a patent and stipulated a copyright in the beginning, I haven’t done badly.’
Szygon raised himself from the cushions, straightening up to his full imposing height.
‘And what figure did your symbol assume, if its possible to know?’ he hissed in a choked, strange voice.
‘Ha, ha, ha! The figure of a genius of motion. A huge, swarthy young man balanced on extended raven wings, surrounded by a swirling, frenzied dance of planets – a demon of interplanetary gales, interstellar moon blizzards, wonderful, maddeningly hurling comets, comets and more comets … .’
‘You’re lying!’ Szygon roared, throwing himself toward the speaker. ‘You’re lying like a dog.’
The ‘station-master’ curled up, diminished in size, and vanished through the keyhole. Almost at the same moment the compartment door opened, and the disappearing intruder merged into the figure of the conductor, who was at the threshold. The conductor looked at the perturbed passenger with a mocking smile and began to hand him a ticket: