The Cutting Room: Dark Reflections of the Silver Screen (25 page)

HOLBORN: Yeah. Because that’s an option.

From: [email protected]

Date: Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 3:13 AM

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: KERATO-OBLATION FILM PROJECT

To Whom It May Concern—

Please accept my apologies for not fully completing your submission form. I think the attached file is suitable enough for your purposes that you will find the missing information unnecessary, and feel comfortable including it in your exhibition nevertheless. I realize this will render it ineligible for competition, but I hope you can show it as part of your lineup all the same.

Thank you.

VIRTUAL CELLULOID (vcelluloid.blogspot.com)

Alec Christian: Pushing Indie Film Forward Since 2004

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July 23, 2008

“Wall of Love” Big Ten Launch Party

Got to hang out with two of my favourite people from the Scene last night at the Bovine Sex Club: Soraya Mousch and Max Holborn, the head honchos behind the Wall of Love collective. The dedication these guys’ve put into keeping their festivals going is nothing short of awesome, and last night’s launch party for the next one was actually their tenth anniversary. Most marriages I know don’t last that long these days. (Doubly weird, given Max and Soraya are that rarest of things, totally platonic best opposite-sex straight friends.)

For those who’ve been under a rock re the local artsy-fart scene over each and every one of those ten years, meanwhile, here’s a thumbnail sketch of the Odd Couple. First off, Soraya. Armenian, born in Beirut, World Vision supermodel-type glamorous. Does music videos to pay the bills, but her heart belongs to experimentalism. Thing to remember about Soraya is, she’s not real big on rules: When a York film professor told her she’d have to shift mediums for her final assignment, she ended up shooting it all on her favorite anyways (8mm), then gluing it to 16mm stock for the screening. This is about as crazy as Stan Brakhage gluing actual dead-ass moths to the emulsion of his film
Mothlight
. . . and if you don’t know what that is either, man, just go screw. I despair of ya.

Then there’s Max: White as a sack of sheets, Canadian as a beaver made out of maple sugar. Meticulous and meta, uber-interpretive. Assembles narratives from found footage, laying in voiceovers to make it all make (a sort of) sense. Also a little OCD in the hands-on department, this dude tie-dyes his own films by swishing them around in food-color while they’re still developing, then “bakes” them by running them through a low-heat dryer cycle, letting the emulsion blister and fragment. The result: Some pretty trippy shit, even if you’re not watching it stoned.

Anyways. With fest season coming up fast, M. and S. are in the middle of assembling this huge film collage made from snippets people posted chain-letter-style. You might think this sounds like kind of a dog’s breakfast, and with any other self-proclaimed indie genius you’d be right. But S. took me in the back and showed me some of the files they hadn’t got to yet, and man, there’s some damn raw footage in there, if ya know what I mean; even freaked her out. So if you’re looking for something a little less
Saw
and a little more
Un Chien Andalou
, check it out: October 10, the Speed of Pain. . . .

From: Soraya Mousch [email protected]

Date: Wednesday, June 25, 3:22 PM

To: Max Holborn [email protected]

Subject: Check this file out!

Max–

Sorry about the size of this file, I’d normally send it to your edit suite but it’s got some kind of weird formatting - missing some of the normal protocols - I don’t have time to dick around with your firewalls. Anyway, YOU NEED TO SEE THIS. Get back in touch with me once you have!

From: Soraya Mousch [email protected]

Date: Wednesday, June 25, 3:24 PM

To: Max Holborn [email protected]

Subject: Apology followup

Max: Realized I might’ve come off a little bitchy in that last message, wanted to apologize. I know you’ve got a lot of shit on your plate with Liat (how’d the CAT-scan go, BTW?); last thing I want to do is make your life harder. You know how it goes when the deadline’s coming down.

Seriously, though, the sooner we can turn this one around, like ASAP, the better—I think this one could really break us wide open. If you could get back to me by five with something, anything, I’d be really grateful. Thanks in advance.

See you Sunday, either way,

Soraya.

From: Max Holborn [email protected]

Date: Wednesday, June 25, 4:10 PM

To: Soraya Mousch [email protected]

Subject: Re: Apology followup

s.—

cat-scan wasn’t so great, tell you bout it later. got your file, i’m about to review. i’ll im you when it’s done.

m.

TRANSCRIPT CHAT LOG

06/25/08 1626-1633

: soraya? u there?

: so whatd you think?

: jesus soraya, w?t?f? who sent THIS in? even legal to show?

: i didnt get into this to go to jail

: message came in from a numbered gmail account, no sig – check out the file specs?

: relax max – we didnt make it, no way anybody cn prove we did, got to be digital dupe of a tape loop

: yeah, i lkd at specs – these guys know tricks i dont. u can mask creation datestamp in properties to make it LOOK blank, bt not supposed to be any way to actually wipe that data out without disabling file

: my guess is the originals at least 50 yrs old

: max, we cant NOT show this

: gotta gt somebody to lk/@ it first – im not hanging my ass out in th/wind

: why dont we meet @ laszlos? he can run it through his shit, see what pops

: dont like him. his house smells like toilet mold, hes a freak

: whatever, hes got the best film-to-flash download system in the city doesnt cost $500 daily rental, so just grow a fucking pair

: you know he tapes every conversation goes on in there, right? wtf w/that?

: (User sor16muse has disconnected)

: and btw, next time you wanna show me shit like that try thinking about liat first

: (User max_hdb has disconnected)

July 26/2009

“BACKGROUND MAN”, Lescroat, strangerthings.net/media (cont’d)

“That original clip? Hands down, some of the scariest amateur shit I’ve ever seen in my life,” says local indie critic/promoter Alec Christian, self-proclaimed popularizer of the “Toronto Weird” low-budget horror culture movement. “A little bit of
Blair Witch
to it, obviously, but a lot more of early Nine Inch Nails videos, Jorg Buttgereit and Elias Merhige. That moment when you realize the guy’s body is rotting in front of you? Pure
Der Todesking
reference, and you don’t get those a lot, ’cause most of the people doing real-time horror are total self-taught illiterates about their own history.”

Asked if there’s any way the clip might be genuine, rather than staged, Christian laughs almost wistfully. “There are still people who think
Blair Witch
was real; that doesn’t make it so,” he points out. “Anyway, think about how hard it would be to shoot this using World War One technology and logistics, at the latest, which is what we’d be looking at if it was real—and if it was filmed later but aged to look older, then everything else could have been engineered as well. Sometimes you just have to go with common sense.”

TRANSCRIPT EVIDENCE EXHIBIT #3 51 DIVISION CASEFILE #332 RECOVERY LOCATION 42 TRINITY STREET BSMT DATE 8/20/2008
Item: 89.2 MB .MPG file retrieved from hard drive of laptop SONY VAIO X372 s/n 10352835A, prop. M. Holborn, duration 15m07s.

0:00
– (All images recorded in black-and-white monochrome.) Caucasian male subject (Subject A), 40s, est. 6’1”, 165 lbs, dark hair, wearing black or brown suit appearing to be 1920s cut, shown sitting in upright wooden chair looking directly at camera. Room is a single chamber, est. 8’ x 10’, hardwood floor, one window behind subject, one door in right-hand wall at rear. No painting or other decoration visible on walls. Angle of light from window suggests filming began early morning; light traverses screen in right-to-left direction, suggesting southward facing of window and room. Unknown subject has no discernible expression.

0:01
– 4:55 – Subject A rises and removes clothes, beginning with detachable celluloid collar. Each garment removed separately, folded, and placed on floor. Care and pacing of garment removal suggests ritual purpose. Subject is shown to be uncircumcised. Subject continues no discernible facial expression.

4:55
– 5:19 – Subject A resumes seat and looks straight into camera without movement or speech. Enhanced magnification and review of subject’s right hand reveals indeterminate object, most likely taken from clothing during removal.

5:20
– 5:23 – Subject A opens object in hand, demonstrating it to be a straight razor. Subject cuts own throat in two angular incisions, transverse to one another. Strength and immediacy of blood flow indicates both carotid and jugular cut. Evenness and control of movement suggests anesthesia or psychosis. Review by F/X technicians confirms cuts too deep to have been staged without use of puppets or animatronics. Subject maintains lack of facial expression.

5:23
– 6:08 – Subject A’s self-exsanguination continues until consciousness appears lost. Subject collapses in chair, head draped over back.

6:09
– Estimated time of death for Subject A.

6:11
– Razor released from subject’s fingers, drops to floor.

6:12
– 13:34 – Clip switches from real-time pacing to timelapse speed, shown by rapidity of daylight movement and day-night transitions. Reconstruction analysis specifies 87 24-hour periods elapse during this segment. Subject’s body shown decomposing at accelerated pace.

7:22
– Primary liquefaction complete; desiccation begins. Clothes left on floor have developed mold.

10:41
– Desiccation largely complete. Rust visible on blade of razor. Fungal infestation on clothes has spread to floorboards.

13:10
– Subject’s cranium detaches and falls to floor.

13:17
– Subject’s right hand detaches and falls to floor.

13:25
– Subject’s left arm detaches and falls to floor. Imbalance in weight causes remains of subject’s body to fall off chair.

13:34
– Decomposition process complete. Footage resumes normal real-time pacing.

14:41
– Subject B walks into frame from behind camera P.O.V. Subject B’s appearance 100% consistent in identity with initial Subject A, including lack of circumcision and identifiable body marks. Remains of Subject A still visible behind Subject B.

15:01
– Subject B bends down in front of camera and looks into it. Subject B shows no discernible facial expression.

15:06
– Subject B reaches above and behind camera viewpoint.

15:07
– CLIP ENDS

TRANSCRIPT EVIDENCE EXHIBIT #2 51 DIVISION CASEFILE #332 RECOVERY

LOCATION 532 OSSINGTON AVENUE BSMT

RESIDENCE LASZLO P HURT DATE 8/19/2008

AUDIOTAPE PROPERTY OF LASZLO P HURT

(IDENTIFICATION RETROACTIVELY ASSIGNED TO VOICES FOLLOWING CONFIRMATION FROM M HOLBORN AND S MOUSCH OF CONTENT)

V1 (MOUSCH): (LOUD) . . . see, here it is. Never see it if you weren’t looking for it.

V2 (HOLBORN): (LOUD) Shit. He really does have his own place bugged. What’s this for? Legal protection?

V1 (MOUSCH): (VOL. DECREASING) Maybe, but I think it’s really just because he wants to. Like his whole life is a big cumulative perfomance art piece. Sort of like in that Robin Williams movie, where people have cameras in their heads, and Robin has to cut a little film together when they die to sum up fifty years of experience?

V2 (HOLBORN): Yeah. That really sucked.

V1 (MOUSCH): I know. Just . . . keep it in mind, that’s all I’m saying.

(BG NOISE: TOILET FLUSH)

V3 (HURT): Sorry about that. I haven’t got new filters put in on the tap-water yet.

V2 (HOLBORN): That’s . . . okay, Laszlo.

V3 (HURT): Yeah, you want some helpful input? Try not patronizing me.

V1 (MOUSCH): Laz, come on.

V3 (HURT): Yeah, okay, okay. So I reviewed your file.

V2 (HOLBORN): And?

V3 (HURT): First thing comes to mind is a story I heard through the post grapevine, one of those boojum-type obscurities the really crazy collectors go nuts trying to find. Though this can’t be that, obviously, the clip would be way older, not digitized—