The Cruiserweight (41 page)

“I promise to make it worth your while on our
wedding night.”

“Now you’re talking!” Brett grabbed his car
keys and kissed her. “If we’re not back by five, we probably were
lost in the post-Christmas rush, so send out a search
party.”

*****

“Let’s see,” Brett said as he scanned the list
and crossed off several items. “I have to pick my suit, and then I
need to…wait, what the hell? Oh, God, Karen, you did not just do
this to me!”

“What’s the matter?” Eddie asked.

“She wants me to pick up Little Bit’s dress.
Jesus Christ, how many dresses does a baby need?”

“Babies grow fast, and you know how women want
their kids to look cute for stuff like weddings.”

Brett sighed. “I think I just stepped into hell
when I agreed to run errands for her.”

“You sure you still want to get married?” Nick
asked. “Still a few days left to bail out.”

Eddie slapped the back of Nick’s head. “Don’t
talk about K like that. She’s your niece’s mom.”

“It’s cool, Ed,” Brett replied. “It would take
a lot to change my mind about marrying Karen. Why don’t you guys
hang out at the food court for awhile?”

“Works for me,” Nick said with a
nod.

“Meet me back here in about half an hour,”
Brett said. He pulled out his phone. “I should check with Karen
about something.”

Eddie and Nick began making sounds and motions
as if they were cracking whips.

Brett glared at them. “Very fucking funny.” He
turned his attention to the phone call. “Hey, baby, what’s
happening?”

“Hi. Everything all right?" Karen
asked.

"Great. This list you gave me…do you really
want me to pick up that dress for Little Bit?”

“For heaven’s sake, Brett, it’s paid for. Just
walk in, tell them the order’s in my name, and they should give it
to you. I’m not asking you to walk out with the entire store. I
have to get going. Your mom’s coming in about fifteen minutes to
take me to my fitting.”

Brett sighed, closed his phone, and put it in
his pocket. "I’m definitely in hell.”

"What‘s the problem?“ Eddie asked. “Autumn’s
your kid too. No big deal picking up a baby dress.”

“Not like you have to try it on,” Nick
said.

Both men broke out laughing before Brett gave
them a death stare. “Why are you two ass wipes still here? Get your
ugly mugs to the food court while I finish this shit.”

*****

“Where’s Brett?” Phoebe asked when she arrived
with the other women.

“I sent him on some errands. He’s picking up
his suit and Autumn’s dress, among other things,” Karen
replied.

“I’d like to be a fly on the wall in that
infant store.”

“Why did you send Brett?” Sharon
asked.

“Punishment for not coming with me to help
choose one for her.”

“You’re terrible,” Pilar said. She, Sharon,
Karen and Phoebe began to giggle.

“I would’ve told Eddie to take pictures with
his phone if I’d known Brett had to pick up Autumn‘s dress,” Phoebe
replied.

They all laughed again.

Pilar had changed her mind about accompanying
the other women and volunteered to stay with Autumn. Before leaving
with Phoebe and Sharon, Karen picked up the baby and kissed her.
“Be a good girl for Grandma, okay?”

*****

"Oh, look at your frilly little dress," Nick
said in a falsetto voice, trying not to laugh while his brother
hung up the tiny garment and a suit in the back seat.

“You suck,” Brett answered. “I hope whatever
woman you marry someday puts you through something ten times
worse
than this.”

“But your dress will look so perfect on you,”
Eddie replied. Both he and Nick burst into laughter.

Brett glared at them. “Do you two want to walk
home, or should I body slam you first?”

Eddie cleared his throat. “Right. Never piss
off a guy with wrestling experience, no matter what size he
is.”

“At least one of you is smart,” Brett
said.

*****

Karen emerged from the changing room wearing an
ankle length ivory lace dress with beading and an A-line skirt. It
was simple, yet tasteful.

"What do you ladies think?" she
asked.

"I think Brett’s going to exercise a lot of
restraint from ravaging you in front of the judge,” Sharon said.
"You look fantastic.”

Phoebe nodded in approval. “Very
classy.”

Karen turned around several times. “Everything
fits okay, right?”

“No, your ass doesn’t look bigger,” Phoebe
replied, sensing the unasked question.

“I wish Mom hadn’t changed her mind about
coming with us,” Sharon said. “She would love it. But she’ll see it
at the wedding.”

Karen nodded. “I hope she’s doing okay with
Autumn. This is the first time I’ve left the two of them
alone.”

“Trust me, she enjoys playing grandma at every
opportunity.”

“I bet. All right, let me get changed, and then
we can go to lunch at that posh new restaurant down the street. I
think after all the chaos these last few weeks, we deserve to be
spoiled a little.”

Sharon giggled. “She has one of Brett’s credit
cards,” she whispered to Phoebe.

*****

"I’m home!” Karen called. “Pilar? Are you still
here?”

Brett came into the living room carrying
Autumn, who was giggling. “I sent Ma back to her hotel after I got
back.”

"There’s my good girl.” Karen kissed her head.
“Was she okay while I was gone?”

“She and Ma had a great time together,” he
replied. "How was your fitting?”

“
Everything’s perfect, thank
goodness. Lord knows the last thing we need right now is any more
delays.”

"Are you going to model it for me?"

"No," Karen said with a chuckle and locked the
garment bag in her special closet. She took Autumn from him. "Did
you get her dress?"

Brett pointed to where Autumn’s dress hung and
rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Do you enjoy embarrassing the hell out of
me? Don’t do that kind of shit when I’m with other
dudes.”

“Serves you right for not helping me pick it
out.” She went over to inspect the dress.

“Oh, hey, the vet called while you were out.
Jack’s due for his shots.”

“He’s your cat, so you take him.”

“Vet made an appointment for tomorrow at
eleven-thirty.”

“Brett, did you forget? We have to meet the
judge at one.”

“How long does it take for a vet to give
shots?”

“Probably less time than it will for you to get
Jack into his carrier.”

“Good point, now that you mentioned it. Last
time I tried to put him in that thing, my arms looked like an emo
kid’s.”

“You better get an early start.”

“Yeah, between looking forward to the Jack vs.
Cat Carrier wrestling match, and then fighting traffic, starting my
day earlier tomorrow doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

CHAPTER 81

“Meoooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwrrrr!!!
Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrr! Meoooooowwwwrrrrr!!!”

Ear-splitting caterwauling emerged from the
back seat as Brett drove Jack to his vet. He gritted his teeth,
trying to block out the incessant howling.

“Meowwwwwwwwwrrrr!”

“For the love of Christ, Jack, will you put a
lid on it? You’re just going for a routine visit, not to your own
execution.”

The cat hushed for a moment when Brett stopped
at a light, then began to howl once the car moved.
Next time,
I’m getting a dog.

He was less than a mile from the vet’s office
when Jack finally stopped meowing. Soon after, Brett heard a low,
strange sound before he scrunched up his face at the smell filling
his car.

“
You damn cat. Please tell me you
didn’t just take a dump in that carrier.”

Sounds came from the carrier in response, as if
Jack was trying to cover what he’d done, or escape the pungent
odor.

“Sucks to be you, buddy. You’re stuck in there
until we get to the vet. Maybe next time you won’t be such a
brat.”

Brett arrived at the office several minutes
later. He jumped from the car and retrieved Jack. “Jesus, you
stink,” he said, making another face. “Of all places to take a
shit. I feel sorry for the people who have to deal with
you.”

He avoided contact with other people by sitting
in a far corner of the waiting room after he’d checked in.
No
use exposing everyone else.

Brett was barely seated when the receptionist
called his name.
Thank God. This fucking carrier’s really
starting to reek.

“Sorry about the carrier,” he said to the vet
assistant. “Jack had an accident on the way here.”

“Don’t worry. We see things like that happening
all the time. We’ll take care of Jack and have his carrier cleaned
when you leave.”

Oh, you poor girl. Better wear a gas mask.
Brett peered in the carrier. “Behave, stinky.”

Jack glared in response.

He was headed home within thirty minutes, a
clean, deodorized carrier containing an immunized cat in tow. To
Brett’s pleasant surprise, Jack didn’t fuss on the way home;
instead, he’d gone to sleep.

“Back with the fur beast,” Brett said when he
arrived home. He placed the carrier on the floor and opened its
door. Jack bolted as if it were a prison break and hid under the
sofa.

Karen smiled. “Jack protected from all kinds of
nasty diseases for another year, huh?”

“Yeah, after he almost killed me with his toxic
waste during the trip there.”

“What do you mean?”

“To put it in polite terms, he left a ‘present’
in the carrier before we got to the vet.”

“Oh, no. He went to the bathroom in
it?”

“Not just ‘went to the bathroom.’ Took a giant
shit that would’ve peeled paint, curdled the milk, and killed off
half of this country’s population. Little Bit’s dirty diapers smell
like roses in comparison. I felt compelled to pay the vet’s staff
extra for having to clean that mess, but they wouldn’t accept
it.”

“Sometimes I think people who work in that
business should receive some kind of hazard pay.”

“Yeah, especially when they deal with pets like
Jack. Two more people had to hold him down while the vet gave him
his shots.”

“Can’t blame him in that respect. I’m not a fan
of needles either.” Karen looked at the clock. “We need to get to
the courthouse if we’re going to make our appointment with the
judge.”

Brett picked up his car keys again and opened
the door for her. “Ready anytime you are, madam.”

CHAPTER 82

“Man, that judge is hot,” Brett said while he
and Karen sat outside the chambers. “Nice ass on her. You have some
good taste in picking one to perform our wedding.”

“Hate to disappoint you, love, but that’s his
clerk,” Karen said with a smile.

“His?”

“Judge Bass should be ready for us in a few
minutes.”

Brett gave her a mock pout. “Gee, thanks for
ruining my afternoon.”

“What, I won’t be enough to look at during our
wedding?”

“Just messing, baby. I only have eyes for
you.”

“That’s better. Wonder how Sharon’s doing with
Autumn?”

“Probably spoiling Little Bit Silly as much as
Ma did. I have a feeling we’re going to have a fun time getting
that kid to sleep tonight.”

“Speaking of people who spoil Autumn,” Karen
said, I almost forgot to tell you that Patrick’s coming back
tomorrow night from Austin.”

“Cool. Another day he and I can hang out with
Nick and Eddie before the wedding.”

“No shenanigans, mister. Everything’s been
smooth these last few days, and I don’t need any last-minute
headaches.”

“If you’re thinking there’s going to be a wild
bachelor party, I already told Patrick no,” Brett said. “I think
all of us should go to a quiet dinner the night before and leave it
at that.”

Karen gave him a wide smile. “Brett, that’s an
excellent idea! Tell you what, since you came up with the
suggestion, and you know Orlando better than I do, could you pick
out a good restaurant and make reservations?”

“Ask and you shall receive,
sweetheart.”

“Good. It’ll be the final task to be done once
we’re finished with the judge. Here comes the clerk, so that means
Judge Bass is ready for us.”