The Cross of Mithras Vol. 1: EOD Operation Welcome to Hell (18 page)

  On the continent to the southeast of Iraxxan, I found a cave with some paintings in it. Since I never saw any cave paintings similar to those on any other continent, I always assumed that the story might originated there. In that same cave I found the skeleton of the animal in question. As for the other continents, I don’t know if it ever lived there or not. Either the caves didn’t have it’s skeleton in it, or there were no caves on that continent. To the best of my knowledge.

  The story said that, in order for both of them to kill it, they had to lure it to a cliff and have it go over. Of course it isn’t stupid, and since spears and arrows, or a large group, wouldn’t work there was only one way that they could lure it. One of them had to make a long enough rope made of vines, and tied one end of it to a tree. The man stayed behind while she went and look for it. The story suggested that it could take her days just to find it. Once she did find it she had to provoke it to attack her. Not one story was clear on what she had to do in order to provoke it. But all of those stories agreed that it had a great deal of stamina, determination, and will pursue her to the ends of the world. After she provoked it, all she had to do was head back to her husband. Once she got back, she had to run in a straight line to where he was. Then he would throw the rope to her. She had to run in a straight line because its speed, and its inertia, is what would cause it to go over the cliff.

  Now, I don’t know if that story is true or not, but it would explain a lot. Such as; why is it that an Apollinarian male always seems to have a great deal of patience. Or why a fllustl never gets lost in the woods and can find almost anything, people, or things, in the woods. Well... that’s what they say. I got lost in the woods before. And I knew guys who had absolutely no patience what so ever. But that story, in whatever form it came in, was told to explain the existence of an fllustl. And why she was the way that she was.

  What made that animal so important that they should risk life-and-limb over it were two things; one, part of it was an appetite suppressant, and two, it could feed their family for a few days. Some stories said five days, others said eight or more. As for its armor, each story said it could have been used for many different things.

  So I guess that is the sole reason why a fllustl is strongly bounded to men. And I guess it’s partly the reason why it is so hard for us to get pregnant. Why we have the need to find our soul mate. Help our husband to provide for the family when he is away. If there are any slaves... then we must assist him in keeping them under control... while he keeps order within the family.

  So a fllustl became the type of a person who might turn out to be a control freak, or even has self-hatred. If she is a lesbian then she would turn out to be confused since part of her is drawn to men, but not sexually. A lesbian fllustl might turn out to be a psychopath who hates men, or she might turn out to be normal, but stay in the closet. I don’t know about those who are a bisexual. Like myself, most fllustls are straight.

  Some fllustls don’t have self-hatred; instead they... hate the Apollinarian race. Some of them even make poor overseer of slaves. Drawn to men... but can’t have children. Stuck in-between men who run the world, and fllaistls who can give birth. Trying to find our place in the world... searching for the meaning to our existence... we typically find it in being talented. My mom Nincylste was quite glad to find out that both me and Iakuoyr could sing.

  All of the men who came into my life were nothing more than a nogoodnik. Just one disappointment after another. One lonely night, one drunken day. Only my pets and my friends to keep me company. In my old age I gave up on trying to find someone. Then I got to the Earth and became young again. And what did I find? The same old situation as before. Either I can’t tell him who I really am, or he’s already taken. Then by the mid part of the 22
nd
century.... I found something new. A new desire.... a new taste.... a new longing. A longing to go back... to that desire that I left behind.”

  Ramirez for the first time since he knew her finally understood her with all of her complex emotions. He understood why she always acted like she hated her own species. The real reason why she always seemed to love the human race. He understands why she always has something negative to say about the Apollinarians, but not the Iomiyyans. He finally understands why she doesn’t like to talk about her past. It has nothing to do with her pain. Yes she is haunted by that pain, as anybody else would, but she has always been too strong. She always has been too intensely strong minded for things to get to her like that. And that includes her pain. She has that strength of personality that draws people to her. That conviction of purpose in knowing that there is a higher purpose for everything that she goes through in life. Everybody who serves under her finds strength within her when they are weak. They find the confidence in knowing that they can survive. Yes he does truly understand her.

  “When my parents died... it was like I didn’t have any family. Most of my family was either too busy, away from home for long periods of time, never kept in contact, or they acted like they didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Apollinarians could be bad at times in doing stuff like that. Not always, but sometimes. Even the mothers could be like that, at times. Fllustls aren’t like that.”

  “You mean.... even an Apollinarian mother can be like that?”

  “Yes... even an Apollinarian mother, but not mine. Lucky for me. My fllustl mom, Nincylste, was the one who had the most major impact upon my life. Without her.... I can’t even begin to imagine what I might turn out to be like. It was Nincylste who sent me away to be trained as a warrior when I was young. Once... I got mad at her over something... so I kicked her. Not hard, I was just a little kid. The next thing I remember was her saying, ‘By the Gods she’s a handful. That’s it... I’m sending her to be trained as a warrior.’ It was her who also inspired me to go to the library and read a lot. But not in the way in which you might think.

  When I was being trained as warrior, my friends and I would get to spend time with our families during the summertime. So as soon as I got home, Nincylste decided to take it upon herself to drive me crazy, or something. She made go outside and chop firewood.”

  “Why?”

  “For the same reason why she would stand there at times, watching me as I chop firewood, and smile at me... she missed me. It was only after she’d died that I realized that. I got that fiery temperament. I can be feisty. And I’m red. So I guess you can see why, when she makes me chop firewood, it would cause her to miss me. The fire reminded her of me. What’s more, she had to nerve to give me the nickname, ‘Firewood.’”

  Ramirez laughed a little and said, “God... that’s rich.”

  “Yeah... and I don’t want you to tell anyone. Got it.”

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  “Now you know where I got my sarcasm from. There I am standing outside, sometimes in hot weather, chopping firewood and making sarcastic remarks. And sometimes... yes sometimes, I catch her standing there, smiling, looking at me through the window. God... that was so annoying. Now you know why when somebody says something really nasty to me, why it doesn’t bother me.”

  “Or how you are really good at using a sarcastic remark that catches someone off guard.”

  Vaistll laughed a little and said, “Yeah... I guess that would be true to.” At that moment, she’d thank her mom from the bottom of her heart. But it also caused her to miss her that much more. It caused her to wish that she could have spent more time with her.

  “I always tried my best to get away from her. But it wasn’t easy. And the only place that I could go to without getting into trouble... was the library. Because I was a warrior, even if I was being trained as one, it was one of the perquisites that they gave us. At first, I did get in trouble with her, but then she’d stop. Unfortunately, she kept up that charade of making me chop firewood, or at least catching me if I didn’t go to the library.

  After she’d died, I felt so horrible when I realized why she made me chopped firewood during the summertime. I just kept on getting that image of her, during the wintertime, sitting by the fireplace putting in that firewood that I chopped... and thinking about me. It probably explains why I always thought about her during the wintertime.

  Nincylste is also the one who indirectly taught me that I could do a mind-meld. When I was a little girl...“ Vaistll started to laugh a bit. “When I was a little girl, my dad and I was watching her trying to kill this mouse in the kitchen. Like me, she really hated them. So she’d already had it in her mind to kill it. So...“ She started to laugh again. “So she was standing there... looking for that mouse. When she turned around... that mouse.... was on her foot.” Vaistll started to laugh again. “She then turned around again... and that mouse.... was still on her foot.” Both Vaistll and Ramirez started to laugh out loud. Vaistll try to continue on but she kept on laughing. “My dad and I, was sitting down on a couch trying not to laugh. At one point I had to put my hand over his mouth to stop him from laughing out loud. She then noticed that both of us were laughing at her, and she’d asked us what we were laughing at. My dad then pointed to that mouse... still on her foot. She then got mad, turned around, and kicked it out the window.

  Later that day I went outside to play, and I found that mouse. It was slightly injured, so it didn’t run away when I came near it. Being a little kid, and not knowing any better, I picked it up and held it in my hands. When I did... I felt the fear of being eaten alive. I then looked around to see if there were any wild animals around. There were none. So I calmed myself down and put the feeling out of my head. After I did that mouse stop trembling with fear.

  It then looked at me and I had the thought that it was hungry. And the only thing that it was doing was looking for food. I then had the thought that if it stayed, then it will get killed. I then remember this one sweet old street vendor who wouldn’t kill a mouse if any food fell on the ground. But, like any other street vendor selling food, he just didn’t want them to get on the food that he is selling. With that, I let the mouse go. As it left, it turned around and looked back at me, as if it was saying, ‘Thanks for not killing me.’ I smiled and waved bye at it. When I did that, it raised its paw at me as if it too was waving bye at me. It then left in the direction of the town.

  Sometime later, I was with Nincylste, and we were in town for some reason. When I was near where that street vendor was, I noticed that there was a mouse near him. I then came closer to see if that was the same mouse. It then noticed, and recognized me. I then laughed and mentioned what I did. That street vendor laughed and said, ‘So you’re the one who taught him that.’ I was confused by what he meant, so I didn’t say anything.

  Nincylste then came and grabbed me by the left hand, and led me away. I remember fixing to tell her what happened. So I was about to reach out and touch her with my right hand. She then, with the look of worry in her eyes, grabbed my right wrist. She then said, ‘Don’t EVER touch me with that hand... without you wearing a glove. You and your siblings get that from your dad.’ I then looked back at that mouse and waved bye at it. And like before, it raised its paw up to wave goodbye. And that’s when I realize what she meant.

  That incident also, at the time, helped me to understand something that my dad did to me. I was feeling depressed about something, that I can no longer remember over what. He then got me to come over to him, and then he had me put my right hand in his left one. He then held my left hand with his right. You know... you will never know what it is like, when your father, like yourself, can do a mind meld, and he does something like that, with you, when you are a child. Words cannot begin to describe the way in which I felt when I felt my father’s love for me. If you could do something like that, then you would understand why all cyborgs want to create some type of a cyber link with their children. It’s like reaching out and touching the face of God... and feeling his love for you.”

  Ramirez understood what she means, not because one of his parents did that with him, but some of the parents in the EOD, did that with their children. Ramirez disdain for the EOD as a child, and as a teenager, caused him to fear becoming a cyborg. As an adult he learned to appreciate the very modest rebellion of people like that of his great uncle, who died preventing it from becoming a culture within the EOD, of people becoming a cyborg and doing a cyber link with their children. He knew what that would have meant - no way to rebel. Forever a slave trapped within a mental prison with no hope of escape. The EOD called people like Ramirez’s great uncle a “Virus.” Someone whose rebellious actions made it difficult to detect because of the subtleness of the action.

  Hearing what Vaistll said about what her father did to her, got Ramirez to think that maybe it wasn’t so bad in becoming a cyborg. Although technically he is a cyborg, in the sense that the meaning of a cyborg is part-human part-machine, he knew that if he got the cybernetic implants that could allow him to do a cyber link with someone, and then maybe the pain of him living in that EOD world would go away. Or maybe part of it might be transferred to that person, as he thought to himself. Like Vaistll, he only wished he knew of a way to let go of the pain.

  “That incident made me a happy-go-lucky girl. To this day, I can still feel his love for me.... deep inside of me. And that’s why it hurt me so badly on the day that he died.” With that, Vaistll broke down and started to cry. Ramirez started to comfort her which is what she really needed. As strong as she is, it is the grief of losing her father that will always hurt her the most. He gave her a very special gift on that day. It was a gift that turned out to be both a blessing and a curse.