The Critic (4 page)

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Authors: Joanne Schwehm

BOOK: The Critic
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All I heard was ringing. I realized it was the alarm on my phone that I had neglected to turn off, and I was so annoyed, since it was Sunday and I could sleep in before our afternoon rehearsal. But since I was up, I might as well get my day started.

After I put on my running gear and pulled my hair into a ponytail, I tucked my key and some money in the pocket on my shoe. With my headphones playing music, my joggers hit the pavement. The air was a bit warmer, and humidity had begun to blanket the day. I took a minute to look at the trees, and I couldn’t help but smile at the budding leaves—summer wasn’t far away. Once I’d rounded the block for the third time, I decided to head into the Brew Spot for a cup of coffee. Most runners drank sports drinks, but I needed caffeine.

The barista smiled as I walked in. After I’d ordered and paid for my coffee, she said, “Hey, aren’t you that actress in
Together Again?

I felt my smile grow. I couldn’t believe she recognized me. “Yes, that’s me. Did you see it?” My pulse quickened as I prayed that she’d enjoyed the show. I was borderline giddy and wondered if she wanted an autograph. My inner thespian curtsied in appreciation.

Her face fell. “No, but I saw your picture in the paper.”

My heartbeat picked up more speed, making my nerves spike. “What picture? Wait, which paper?”
Please don’t say it . . . please don’t say it . . . it can’t be.

She handed me my coffee. “The
Edge.”

Fuck. She said it.

“It’s over there on the table if you want to see it.” She gestured toward the table nestled in the corner surrounded by plush chairs. Her smile faded.

I knew I didn’t want to read it, but I needed to nonetheless. “Thank you.”

I walked over, grateful no other customers were there. I gingerly sat down, looked at the paper, and read the headline, “Vying for Broadway: Will
Together Again
Make It? Story on page 6.”

A chill crept up my spine as I set down my cup and flipped to the page which held my future. My eyes nearly fell out of my head when I saw my picture next to the caption, “Bored Again.” Pressure built behind my eyes, so I grabbed a napkin from the holder and reclined in the chair.

OFF-BROADWAY THEATER REVEW:
“Together Again” Hits the Stage with a Resounding Thud.
By: Bentley Chambers
The highly anticipated production, “Together Again,” starring newcomer Justin Monroe as Jake Landon and a veteran of off-Broadway productions, Andrea Jordan as Katie Jackson, flopped. Writer and director, Mack McKenzie, had to be flailing offstage as he watched his preview of this production. The story was beautifully written and well directed, but the scenes that should have been full of passion were full of lethargy.
Jake and Katie are former lovers who always wanted someone to love and to be loved. They met when they were younger and shared many firsts. They were hopelessly in love. Then college happened, and they were separated by geography. But they never forgot what they once were, and no one who came after was enough. Jake and Katie reconnect online, and through various e-mails and instant messages, they decide to see each other again. Jake, who was in London, comes back to claim Katie and make her his own, and she’s in desperate need of what he has to offer—well, that’s what the writer intended.
Their reconciliation was so anticipated that sparks should have been radiating off them once their bodies and souls collided. I expected that. I predicted lust, heat, and the need to love resonating from the stage, but instead, the audience was presented with disenchantment and coolness. If I had been apart from my former lover for numerous years, the audience would have been able to feel it in their souls and other parts of their bodies. Sadly, I have more passion in my fountain pen than these two had on stage.
Despite their efforts, the actors just lacked chemistry. Ms. Jordan seemed stiff and robotic. I’m sure Mr. Monroe felt it every time their lips met. They should have produced enough sparks to illuminate the dimly lit theater. However, we remained in the dark.
The supporting cast, sound, and set were spot-on. Karen Garner as Constance Malloy and Matthew Little as Bill Hastings portrayed Katie and Jake’s best friends, and although they weren’t romantically involved, their chemistry surpassed that of the main characters.’ Watching their performance was pleasurable, so kudos to them and the sound and stage crews.
Hopefully Director Mack McKenzie will see the gaps in performances and be able to bridge them so “Together Again” can head to Broadway.

I set the paper down and stared into space. Insurmountable embarrassment washed over me. The delicious aroma of coffee and baked goods was replaced with repulsion and my fear that everyone there had read the horrible review. Why was he doing this to me? My phone buzzed, and Gina’s picture appeared on the caller ID.

I attempted to collect myself. “Hello.” My voice was barely a whisper.

“Andi, where are you?” Her voice was full of concern. Great, she must have seen the review.

“I’m at Brew Spot, but I’m getting ready to leave.” The feeling that everyone was staring at me was unnerving. I was sure they weren’t, but I felt mortified and beyond upset. “Why?”

“Well, I was hoping to come over.” She sounded sympathetic, and another piece of my heart splintered off.

“You saw it, didn’t you?” Tears streamed down my face. I quickly wiped them away as my gaze darted around the small cafe.

After a long pause, she said, “Yes, but please don’t believe a word of it. You said yourself that he’s a douchebag. Mack knows you did an awesome job, so don’t worry.”

“I’m headed home if you want to meet me there.”

“Okay, meet you there in an hour. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

I tossed my cup and left Brew Spot, but not before I’d snagged that wretched paper. My feet hit the pavement with force. If I hadn’t had on my running shoes, I would’ve cracked a bone and most likely the concrete.

My neighbor, Mrs. Booker, came out of her apartment and shyly smiled at me. The old woman couldn’t have read the
Edge
or seen my performance, could she? I’d become paranoid. My body felt clammy, and I needed to get inside.

I opened my door and hurried to the bathroom, where I stripped out of my clothes and jumped in the shower. The warm water didn’t have its usual effect on me, so I bathed quickly. I wrapped myself in a plush towel and stepped onto the cool tile floor. I ran a brush through my hair, towel-dried it, and twisted it into a braid. My reflection was so different from just a few hours earlier, when I’d had a sense of pride and accomplishment in my features. After I dressed, I sat on the couch and stared at the paper now lying on my coffee table. The buzzer on my door sounded, and I got up to let Gina in.

She ran to me, practically knocking me over with a hug. “I’m so sorry.” She rubbed my back in an attempt to offer me solace.

“Thank you. Can you even believe it?” I shut my door before Mrs. Booker could hear us. “I’m so pissed off. Seriously, did I suck? Do I really lack passion?” I flopped onto the couch and rested my head against the striped square cushions. She sat next to me, and I rolled my head toward her. “G, please tell me.”

“No, you don’t lack passion. You and Justin were hot. I wished I were you.” Gina blushed and smiled.

“But would you wish you were Justin if you were a guy? Is that what Bentley Chambers meant? He said that Justin was good and the issue was me.”

When was the last time I’d felt passion? I’d been with my ex-boyfriend Marcus, and that was months ago. Justin was the most action I’d gotten since, and that wasn’t really action. It was a job. Was that my problem? My mind was all over the place, and I couldn’t stop the visuals that popped in and out of each thought.

“You know Mack would tell you if you didn’t perform well, and Justin isn’t that good of an actor,” Gina said. “You radiate desire. Don’t let this piece-of-shit critic bring you down.”

I stood and tossed up my hands. “But he’s
the
critic! Do you understand that? He’s not just some nobody. Everyone listens to him, and he’s well respected.” My voice was sterner than I wanted it to be when I was speaking to my best friend. “I’m sorry for yelling, but I’m so annoyed.”

Gina quirked her lips to the side. “So now what?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about that, and I think I should confront this dickhead. Ya know, come face to face with the asshole who’s set on ruining my career.” I bounced around the room as if I were in a boxing ring and getting ready for the bell to sound. If I could just get inside his head and figure out what the fuck he wanted from me, then maybe, just maybe, he’d think I was worth the price of a Broadway ticket. “Yeah, I need to talk to this douchebag.”

“How are you going to do that, and what are you going to say?” Gina went into the kitchen and grabbed us each a bottle of water.

I gripped the bottle and envisioned wrapping my hand around Chambers’s neck. I spun off the top and took a long swig, making the plastic crinkle. “Well, I’m going to call his office tomorrow and ask to speak to the jackass.”

“That could work.” Gina rolled her eyes. “Then what are you going to do? Say, ‘Hi, this is Andrea Jordan, and you’re an asshole?’”

I sat on the couch and set my water next to the paper that was motivating me at the moment. Scenarios ran through my mind. I needed to decide which would be best. I was an actress for God’s sake—I could totally do this. I just needed to select the words that would make me look as though I had conviction and not as if I were a whiney toddler. I wrung my hands, plotting my move.

“Andi?”

“Yeah, sorry.” I came out of my reverie. “I’ll figure it out. I just need to get him on the phone and schedule a meeting.”

Gina nodded, but her face was full of worry. “I assume you have a plan?”

“Yeah, maybe. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see if it will work.” I let out a breath.

“Well, I hope your plan works, whatever it is. Andi, please remember that Mack is in charge, not Mr. Chambers.”

“I know, it’s so unnerving. Anyway, I have rehearsal soon, so if Mack saw the paper, which I’m sure he did, I’ll know sooner than later what my fate is.”

“Then I’m going to hit the road and let you get to it. Please try not to worry, and remember—you’re an awesome actress.” Gina hugged me. “Call me and let me know how it goes.”

Rehearsal went as well as it could have. My mind kept thinking of the review that had been given. I did my best not to have it affect my performance, but it wasn’t very easy. I amped up the passion with Justin in hopes that if Mack had read the review, it would squash any reservations he may have had.

Mack gave no indication that there was a problem. So, I was able to breathe easier, until he approached me and Justin afterwards while we were chatting with fellow cast members.

“I’d like to see you two in my office please.” His finger waved between Justin and me. “Now.”

I looked at Justin, who just shrugged. This couldn’t be a good sign. Mack’s lips were in a fine line. If this wasn’t bad news, he should be an actor.

 

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