The Cottage in the Woods (16 page)

Silently, I took his paw in mine and led him to the schoolroom. “Have you had breakfast, Teddy?” I inquired. His only response was to shake his head sadly and put out his lower lip a
little. I washed his face and set his clothes and shoes to rights, and took him down to breakfast. Cook made much of him, chiding him for his lateness, but as it turned out, she had saved Teddy a plate of pancakes. He made short work of them, and we returned to the schoolroom to begin our day.

It was near noon before Nurse put in her appearance, and she looked puffy-eyed and disgruntled, the fur on one side of her face mashed flat where she had slept on it. I continued with the lesson without acknowledging her. She walked unevenly to the chair by the window that she routinely occupied, and after several tries she sat down squarely on the cushion, picked up a small book, and began trying to kill flies with it, cursing every time she missed.

Teddy and I resumed our counting exercises, sitting at the table using the piles of colored buttons, ignoring the occasional slam of Nurse’s book. Nurse seemed to be paying no attention to us, until, lifting her head, she barked, “Shut that window over there! You’ll have him sick!”

I ignored her.

She jumped off the chair, nearly apoplectic, and stamped her foot. “I said close that window! You do as I say!”

Teddy looked up, eyes dilated with alarm, obviously fearing a confrontation. Forcing my mouth to stay closed, lest I lose control and say something I shouldn’t, I crossed the room and closed the window. Nurse’s hideous smile of victory made my stomach wrench, but Teddy visibly relaxed. It suddenly became clear to me that the day would come when Teddy himself must throw off her tyranny, and that there was nothing but my example to teach him how to do it. What could I say? The time had come to be audacious.

“I would have closed it at once, Nurse, if you had asked me nicely,” I said for Teddy’s benefit, and I returned to the table, not looking to see what reaction this might have elicited.

Behind me, a high, mocking voice mimicked, “ ‘I would have closed it at once, Nursie, if you had asked me nicely.’ You make me sick.”

“Perhaps we should send for the apothecary,” I suggested innocently. “He will be able to tell what is making you sick.” This comment got the better of her, though she stewed in fury for the next two hours. I should have known then that she would have her revenge.

Soon it was time for our afternoon outing. We had gathered by the fern beds bordering the west lawn, beyond which lay a wilderness, and I remember telling Nurse that I had no special destination in mind, and that she might take us wherever she would.

I watched her expression go through a series of swift changes, as if she were calculating a list of possible outcomes, each more pleasing than the last. Suddenly she grabbed Teddy by the arm and cried, “Ha! All right, then!” and dove into the trackless woods at an all-out run. Never would I have suspected from the badger’s squat build and surly temperament that she was capable of such speed. Teddy was dragged along as she went, his little feet fairly flying to keep up with her. She had nearly disappeared into the dense underbrush before I realized what was happening. Belatedly, I picked up my skirts and ran after them. A frenzied chase followed in ever-changing directions, over puddles and fallen branches, and into virtually impenetrable thickets where my clothing kept getting caught on branches and brambles. My greater size and voluminous skirts and petticoats were
a handicap in the thick of the woods with no path to follow, and despite my longer legs, the runaways widened their lead on me.

Glimpsing Nurse’s red shawl up ahead, I called out to Teddy. He giggled and ran on. I was sure he thought the headlong flight was some kind of game, and I knew I must not blame him for it, but my composure was about to snap. Finally I lost sight of them beyond a copse of juniper. For several minutes I followed the sounds of their movement, but my foot slipped and lodged firmly between two fallen logs, bruising my ankle, and by the time I extricated it—tearing the upper from the sole of my shoe—the only sound I could hear was of the wind rustling in the leaves. They had gone. I stood there thinking very indecorous thoughts of Nurse. Still, I knew that I could always find my way back alone. Of course, this would have to involve some accounting for where I had left Teddy and Nurse, and how we had become separated. I feared I would be blamed regardless of the explanation. There was no help for it. I must play Nurse’s outrageous little game: follow them by their scent and their tracks and catch them up.

With my ankle still throbbing, I set off. After a bit of investigation, I picked up their trail, leading east toward a cluster of low hills. It led me in tortuous circles and turns, but I managed to stay with it for some time, angrily planning what I would say to Nurse when I caught up with her, and thinking too what I should say of this matter to Mr. Vaughn, for I was determined now that he should hear of it, even if I were disbelieved.

I came upon Teddy sitting at the foot of a large tree, building bug-sized dwellings out of twigs. “Miss Brown!” he cried, jumping up, obviously both surprised and pleased to see me. “You found us! Nurse said you would never find us! She said it
was a holiday.” His expression when he said this was just guilty enough that I could tell he knew better.

“Teddy, this is not a holiday. It is a school day, and it was wicked and rude for Nurse to run away with you the way she did.”

Teddy looked down at his toes. “I’m sorry, Miss Brown,” he whispered.

“You needn’t apologize, Teddy. I know it was not your fault,” I said, patting his head gently. “Where is Nurse?”

Teddy pointed to the opposite side of the tree. Stepping around it, I found her sleeping form propped against the tree trunk, and I nudged her shoulder until she burst into her habitual hissing, growling, and panting wake-up ceremony.

“You!” she spluttered. “What do YOU want?”

At that moment it seemed that some dam within me broke, and the words poured out. “What do I want? I want you to stop this war you are waging against me. I have borne every indignity you have inflicted upon me, but this time you have gone too far!”

She showed all her teeth in a slow, dangerous smile. “And what will you do about it, eh, chickie? What’s the smart, edjicated teacher going to do about it?”

“I will go to Mr. Vaughn, and tell him the whole story.”

“The story of how you dawdled so that you couldn’t keep track of an old badger and a cub? That ain’t too complimentary to you, chickie, now is it?”

“No, I’ll tell the truth, the whole truth: of the way you bully and frighten Teddy; of the way you imbibe; of the way you sleep through entire mornings and afternoons, and still can’t get up and get Teddy to the schoolroom on time; and of the way you
stole Teddy away on this wild-goose chase today—all of it. Whether he believes it or not, I will tell him!”

The badger glared at me, nearly choking on her own bile, her eyes flaming with rabid intensity as she seemed to search for sufficiently lethal insults. Then something seemed to give way, a fissure in the brash countenance, a trembling of the lower lip, and Nurse whipped out her handkerchief and burst noisily into tears.

The effect on Teddy was immediate: his expression turned to one of sorrow and dismay, and he rushed to her and threw his arms around her. Nurse looked over her shoulder at me to see if I was appreciating the full scope of her power over him, then she leaned her head against him and sobbed pathetically. “To think it should come to this,” she gulped, “after all these years of loving care and sacrifice. And me with no other home but this one, and no other family but this to love like they was my own …” She trailed off, alternately crying and moaning.

I folded my arms and tapped my damaged shoe in agitation. Teddy looked up at me with his big, liquid eyes, and said, “We don’t have to tell, do we? She didn’t mean to do anything bad!”

How could I explain to a mere babe in arms that the creature he had looked to his whole life with trust and affection was cynically using him even as we spoke? In all his innocence, he was simply incapable of understanding or believing it. Even worse, Nurse would see to it that Teddy would blame
me
now for
her tears, and for any ill consequences to her that might follow my report to his father.

“Teddy,” I said, taking his paw in mine, “you trust your papa, don’t you? Doesn’t he always know what to do? And your mama too? Do you know that she told me Nurse would always have a home with you?”

Teddy looked at me hopefully, but the look was erased by a fresh round of blubbering from Nurse. Finally, seeing that the performance was not likely to come to an end while there was strength left in her body, I informed Teddy that we must get her home.

Thus began the long, lachrymose journey back to the Cottage, with Nurse stumbling blindly through her supernatural supply of tears, and Teddy pulling her gently onward by one paw. Progress was slow, partly due to my sore ankle and ruined shoe, but mostly because of Nurse’s amateur theatrics, which she seemed to be honing and augmenting as the expedition advanced. In one inspired bit of display, she hit on the stratagem of hurling herself to the ground, and lying there wailing convulsively until Teddy and I each took an arm and lifted her up again. This had the effect of drawing sympathetic tears from Teddy’s eyes, so of course she made it a regular feature of her repertoire from that point on.

We arrived at the Cottage exhausted and bedraggled, but I repaired straightaway to Mr. Vaughn’s den, undeterred by Nurse’s histrionics. Nurse managed, despite being incapacitated by grief, to edge her way in front of me in order to be the first to Mr. Vaughn’s door, and so when Mr. Vaughn responded to my knock, she collapsed against his leg, weeping profusely.

“What’s this?” Mr. Vaughn demanded, in a tone that brooked no nonsense.

All eyes turned to me, so I spoke up. “I’m very sorry to interrupt you, sir, but I urgently need to talk to you.”

Teddy sniffled. Nurse released a torrent of incoherent verbiage, ending with “Lor’ knows I’ve done the best I can!” then resumed her wailing. Mr. Vaughn’s strained expression seemed to indicate that he would rather be anywhere than in the middle of this scene. He reached down and patted her awkwardly, saying, “There, there, Nurse. Pray calm yourself.” To me he said, “I will hear you out as soon as I have dealt with Nurse.” Then he ushered her into his den and shut the door.

My spirits sank. I couldn’t even guess what half-truths and outright lies she would spin for him behind that closed door, but all I could do at this point was tell him the truth and hope for the best. Teddy sobbed openly now, and I held him close and comforted him.

“Remember what I said, Teddy. Trust your papa.” Even as I spoke, I thought privately that I was not at all sure that Mr. Vaughn could remain objective in the face of Nurse’s emotional onslaught. I knew that this incident could result in either Nurse’s dismissal or my own, depending on whom he believed, but I dared to hope for Teddy’s sake that it would be neither. Though I longed to eliminate Nurse from Teddy’s life—and mine—I knew that his attachment to her was very strong, and that he would suffer if she were suddenly torn away from him.

As I was lost in these thoughts, Mr. Vaughn opened the door and summoned me in. I sent Teddy on ahead to the schoolroom, and entered Mr. Vaughn’s den, mentally rehearsing how I would begin. Nurse was seated in an upholstered chair, many sizes too big for her, looking so devastated and forlorn that I nearly wanted to comfort her myself. Far from calling her performance
amateur, I was now convinced that in her earlier life she had had professional training for the theater.

Mr. Vaughn sat down in his chair and left me to stand on the opposite side of his desk. “Before you begin, Miss Brown, let me say that it has come to my attention that I have perhaps been insensitive in assigning Nurse to supervise you.”

I was stunned. I had imagined several different outcomes, but never this. Was he seriously apologizing to me for imposing Nurse upon me?

“I utterly failed to take into consideration that Nurse is getting on in years, and that the position might be too much for her. It seems that I have—unconsciously—produced much strain and difficulty for her. Perhaps you were not aware of this—though it seems her distress must have been obvious. In the future I hope you will come to me with any problems immediately and not allow them to go on until things have reached such a pass.”

Only then did it dawn on me that Mr. Vaughn was apologizing not to me, but to Nurse, for inflicting the added responsibilities on her. None of this should have surprised me, either that Nurse had come up with a perfect story that would make any criticism I made of her seem cruel and insensitive, or that Mr. Vaughn was actually chiding me for failing to bring Nurse’s fictional problem to his attention. Still, it took me a few moments to adjust to the new reality. I quickly realized that I could hardly have hoped for better: Nurse was being effectively retired from her supervision of me, and yet not discharged from her position. If I let Nurse’s story stand, I would have my freedom back, and also avoid upsetting Teddy with her dismissal.