The Conqueror's Dilemma (36 page)

‘On
the contrary. It is precisely the stupid sort of behaviour to be expected from
a man desperately in love.’

This
was too absurd to be borne. ‘How can you say so? If that is the basis of your
belief, then—’

‘It
isn’t,’ said Ariadne calmly, ‘but it assuredly confirms me in it.’ She reached
out and covered one of Tiffany’s unquiet hands with her own. ‘Dear child,
think. Is it not precisely what you were doing, running away?’

Tiffany
snatched her hand away. ‘That’s different. What have I to stay for when—when—?’

‘When
you became convinced there was no hope at all?’

A
sobbing breath escaped before Tiffany could control it. The words came unbidden
from her lips.

‘He
s-said he hoped I should learn not to r-rue the day I met him.’

Ariadne
gave vent to an unladylike snort. ‘And you immediately took it for the end of
everything.’

‘What
else could it mean?’

‘I
don’t know, not being acquainted with Will’s powers of reasoning,’ confessed
Ariadne frankly. ‘But I know men, dear, and they do not act the part of a
lunatic without sound provocation.’

Tiffany
was betrayed into a watery giggle. ‘He is not a lunatic.’

‘No,
he is merely hopelessly in love.’

The
fluttering of her heartbeat made Tiffany breathless, but she was moved to
protest. ‘I wish you won’t keep saying that. It’s not true!’

Ariadne
lifted her eyebrows. ‘Is it not indeed? Then I hope you will tell Juliana so,
because she is convinced Will is head over ears for you.’

Tiffany
stared at her, a pulse jumping in her throat. Her mind had seized up, for she
could not think. It was as if a fog had descended in her brain. Through it, the
image of Lady Yelverton faded into view. Impossible. She could not think it.
She
could not
. A seed of doubt crept up, wreathing into the fog.

‘I see
that piece of information gives you to think,’ said Ariadne with satisfaction.

Tiffany
could not argue. But a question niggled at the back of her mind, and she voiced
it before she had properly taken it in.

‘Why,
if that is so, did he refuse my uncle?’

‘Because
of a stupid sort of pride, I imagine. But if you know he did, surely it must be
obvious to you that Will loves you?’

Shaking
her head, Tiffany wiped wetness away from her cheeks. ‘Uncle Matt did not tell
me what was said. But Aunt Peggy thought better of Will for not jumping at the
chance, so I knew he had rejected me.’

To her
dismay, and indeed annoyance, Ariadne was laughing. ‘In fact he did no such
thing. I know, because Will was so angry with your uncle, he was moved to give
Hector an account of the affair.’

Tiffany
sat up, her heart beginning to pump heavily. ‘Angry? What do you mean? Ariadne,
pray tell me at once, before I burst!’

A look
brimful of mischief was cast at her. ‘I am minded to refuse just to see it,
dear.’ She threw up a hand. ‘Oh, don’t fret. I have every intention of telling
you. Your uncle told Will only that if he was looking for an heiress, he need
look no further. Will started up in a rage, threatening to hit him.’

‘
What
?’

‘Oh,
never fear. Your uncle took up a chair to protect himself, and I suppose Will
recollected himself, for he stood back. But I understand he raged at Mr Felton
for insulting you by trying to sell you. He said he would never marry you upon
such terms, that you deserved better than he, and all manner of foolishness
besides.’

Dumbfounded,
Tiffany could only gaze at her hostess. Why had Uncle Matt not told her all
this? What a difference it might have made. Had she known—

Here
her thoughts suffered a check. Even had she known, she could have done nothing
about it. Will would marry her neither with money nor without. And if it was
true that he loved her, she understood his reasons only too well. It would make
more sense of his planning to leave Town.

‘It is
not what you think, Ariadne,’ she said, suddenly bleak. ‘Money is not the
issue. You are mistaken in him. It is not his pride that holds him back.’

In her
turn, Ariadne now stared, incomprehension in her face. ‘What are you talking
about, Tiffany?’

But
Tiffany was not at liberty to disclose what she had overheard, especially as
Will had enjoined his friend Kilbride not to tell his sister. She was trying to
think how to prevaricate when a commotion in the corridor outside impinged upon
her consciousness.

‘What
in the world—?’ Ariadne had risen and was en route to the door. All at once,
she brightened. ‘Aha! Just as I suspected. Wait here.’

She
whisked herself out, leaving Tiffany alone. She heard Ariadne and another
talking just out of range for her to make out what was said, but her heartbeat
quickened as she recognised the second voice.

In a
moment, the door opened and Will stepped into the room.

Although
not unexpected, for he’d had it from Ariadne she was in the parlour, the sight
of Tiffany’s startled features sent a jolt through William’s chest. He wanted
to catch her up in his arms, dispensing with all preliminaries. Instead he
carefully shut the door, giving himself time to take several steadying breaths.

She
had risen by the time he turned, retreating to the window. The look of uncertainty
in her eyes reawakened his sorely troubled conscience. He took a step into the
room.

‘Forgive
my intrusion. I have no right, I know well, but I had to see you.’

Tiffany’s
pulses were jumping uncontrollably, and she struggled for a calm note. ‘How did
you know where to find me?’

The
dark eyes were sombre, but something within them spoke to her depths. ‘I had it
from a woman I found at Lady Drumbeg’s home.’

‘Mrs
Gosbeck.’

‘I
don’t know. I did not stay to exchange civilities.’

A
pause ensued, and Tiffany felt heated by the charge of tension inside her. At
length she could not endure the pressure of Will’s brown orbs, and she whisked
about, attempting to walk and coming up short against the wall. Discomfited,
she turned, speaking without intent and from the heart.

‘Why
were you looking for me? Was it to say a last farewell before you went away?’

William
was betrayed into a bark of cynical laughter. ‘Ariadne has been busy.’

He saw
Tiffany flinch, but she forestalled him before he could speak.

‘Why
are you doing this, Will? Is it to punish me? What have I done that you should
heap these coals of fire upon my head?’

Confusion
warred with the churning emotions inside him, and William threw up his hands.
‘What in the world are you talking about, Tiffany? How could you think—?’

‘You
are leaving Town. You are walking away from all you hold dear—all your
ambitions, your status,
everything
. And this is to be laid at my door!’

Shocked, he made haste to intervene. ‘Tiffany, I—’

‘Pray
don’t attempt to make me believe it has nothing to do with me,’ she said,
riding over him. ‘I will not bear this as well as everything else, Will.’

William
lost patience. ‘Rabbit it, will you stop being ridiculous, Tiffany! The last
thing I wish for is to make you suffer, surely you know that?’

‘I
know nothing of the sort,’ Tiffany cried, almost beside herself with sudden and
purposeful rage. ‘Enough, Will! I have borne enough. You have played havoc with
my heart, and I have let you do it.’ She put up her hands, palms spread against
him. ‘Well, no more. I am the one who is leaving Town, not you. I am going
home, back among those who love and care for me.’ In vain she tried to still
the trembling of her lips. ‘L-let the Conqueror remain in his k-kingdom, but I
want no p-part of it.’

Tears
were trickling down her cheeks, but Tiffany impatiently dashed them away. She
saw Will’s face only through a haze, and it came as a shock to discover him
standing immediately before her. Her hands were caught in a grip fierce enough
to make her wince.

‘Oh,
Tiffany. My sweet, my darling Tiffany, I’m so sorry.’

The
murmuring words were close above her, and Tiffany looked up, full into the
pools of Will’s brown eyes, shot through with such intensity of feeling she
scarcely knew them. But the well of distress was not yet spent, and she tugged
against his hold.

‘D-don’t.
Don’t say what you do not m-mean.’

‘But I
do mean it,’ he protested, drawing her fingers more firmly into his so that he
cradled them. ‘I have regretted each little hurt I have inflicted on you. From
the first it began, and each time I tried to mend it, I succeeded only in
making things worse.’

‘L-let
me go, pray. What are your regrets to me? They don’t help, Will, for I know
there is to be no quarter.’

This
last was incomprehensible to him, and he did let her go, staring down into her
agitated features with renewed remorse at what he had wrought. He knew not how
to proceed, what to say to change her back into the Tiffany who had shown him a
bond too strong to be broken. He struggled for a way through.

‘Why
do you say that? I don’t understand you.’

To his
further consternation, she looked suddenly discomfited. Her eyes dropped from
his, seeking this way and that to escape him. William was reminded irresistibly
of the first time they had met. His heart lurched, and he no longer had room to
consider his words.

‘What
is it? You look away from me just as you did that very first night.’ Her eyes
flew to his briefly, and William wished he might interpret the flash of meaning
he saw there. Unconsciously, he softened his voice. ‘Tiffany, can you not find
it in you to trust me once more, even a little? I promise you, I am come for no
ill purpose. The reverse, if you will consent to listen to me.’

Her
treacherous heart betrayed Tiffany, for it could not help responding to the
caress in his voice. But that part of her schooled by a hard-headed
Yorkshireman stood her in good stead. She slipped out of his way, shifting the
few paces allowed her in the inadequate space of Ariadne’s confining parlour.

‘I
will be obliged if you will keep a little distant,’ she said as coolly as she
could, turning to face him, ‘for I cannot think clearly when you are so close
to me.’

A
faint smile lightened Will’s features. ‘I might resent that request, if it were
not so encouraging.’

Tiffany
gave a startled giggle. ‘I did not mean it to be.’

His
smile broadened, softening his eyes. ‘I love the way you gurgle when you laugh
like that.’

Breathless
all at once, Tiffany was stricken to silence. Oh, this was so unfair. She did
not want to fall under his spell all over again. It had happened too many
times. Without meaning to, she expressed the thought in her mind.

‘You
make me feel as if I were skating on ice. Out of balance, but on the brink of a
feeling too exhilarating to contemplate. Yet in imminent danger of falling
through into the freezing water.’

William
was chastened. Her presence was intoxicating, making him apt to forget how much
he had still to do. He longed to snatch her up, overbearing her resistance, enforcing
her to understanding with his kisses. But the game was now too important to be
marred.

‘Tiffany,
I fell through that ice of yours when Ariadne sent to tell me you were leaving
Town.’

Her
blue gaze, yet clouded with doubt, widened. Encouraged by her silence, he
pursued his advantage.

‘My
sweet, I did not stop to think. I knew I must catch you. I left my lodging
instantly and took a hack to Lady Drumbeg’s house.’ He took a tentative pace
towards her. ‘Do you understand what I am trying to say to you? I hope you may,
for I hardly know what is happening to me—what has happened. What I have been
trying vainly to deny. Tiffany, my darling, I can’t let you go. If I had found
you gone, I would have followed.’

Tiffany’s
mind was whirling. His endearments rang in her ears, and she longed to yield
herself up to belief. Her defences were melting, but she held on to what scraps
remained, for there was as yet no proof that all Will’s barriers were down.

‘For
what purpose? To drive me once more to misery? I know what I want, Will, but
you do not.’

‘It’s
true,’ he uttered, through a growing feeling of desperation that he could not
get through to her. ‘I don’t deny it, Tiffany. What I wanted—or what I thought
I wanted—has lost all attraction for me. I can’t think how I came to place so
high a value on something so worthless.’ He flung out a hand. ‘For God’s sake,
don’t take that to yourself! I am talking of status, of “the Conqueror”.’

Despite
her determination not to be taken in, Tiffany was prey to an insidious rise of
expectation. Taking fright, she threw her hands over her ears.

‘Don’t
say it. You are making me hope again and I cannot endure it.’

William
lost all caution. Crossing the small space between them, he grasped her wrists
and pulled her hands from her head.

‘Tiffany,
stop. Whenever you resist like this, you prick my conscience and make it
impossible for me to speak.’ He gripped the hands he held. ‘Can’t you see how I
am torn? Can’t you tell that though I long to throw myself at your feet, there
are a million reasons to prevent me? You deserve better. I am a fraud and a
parasite, for that is how I live. How can I beg you to throw in your lot with
mine?’

Her
pulse was abruptly hushed, her breath stilled. Gazing up into the intensity of
the dark eyes, Tiffany dared a whisper.

‘Is
that what you want?’

He
shook his head. ‘No, I don’t want it. All reason tells me otherwise. You see
how I seek to be open with you?’ His voice went awry. ‘But my heart, Tiffany,
will not admit of reason. I am lost.’

For
one blessed moment, William saw the blue of her eyes deepen with the passion he
longed to see. And then they abruptly darkened and there was a violence of
upset in her features. His stomach balled into knots as she wrenched her wrists
from his grasp, backing away.