The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (195 page)

I have come to take inventory at the Tower today:

I fear that since Henry's death there has been some pilfering.

Where are those warders who ought to be here?

Open the gates; it's Gloucester giving the orders.

FIRST WARDER.

[Within] Who's there that knocks so imperiously?

Whose that who knocks so arrogantly?

FIRST SERVING-MAN.

It is the noble Duke of Gloucester.

It is the noble Duke of Gloucester.

SECOND WARDER.

[Within] Whoe'er he be, you may not be let in.

Whoever he is, you can't come in.

FIRST SERVING-MAN.

Villains, answer you so the lord protector?

Villains, is this how you answer the lord protector?

FIRST WARDER.

[Within] The Lord protect him! so we answer him:

We do no otherwise than we are will'd.

May the lord protect him! That's the answer we give him:

we're only obeying orders.

GLOUCESTER.

Who willed you? or whose will stands but mine?

There's none protector of the realm but I.

Break up the gates, I 'll be your warrantize:

Shall I be flouted thus by dunghill grooms?

Gloucester's men rush at the Tower Gates, and Woodvile the

Lieutenant speaks within.

Whose orders? Who has any power here except me?

I am the only protector of the kingdom.

Open the gates, I shall answer for you:

will I be disobeyed like this by dung shovellers?

WOODVILE.

What noise is this? what traitors have we here?

What’s this noise? What traitors are these?

GLOUCESTER.

Lieutenant, is it you whose voice I hear?

Open the gates; here's Gloucester that would enter.

Lieutentant, is that you I can hear?

Open the gates; it’s Gloucester here, and I want to come in.

WOODVILE.

Have patience, noble duke; I may not open;

The Cardinal of Winchester forbids:

From him I have express commandment

That thou nor none of thine shall be let in.

Be patient, noble duke; I cannot open the gates;

the Cardinal of Winchester has forbidden it:

I have direct orders from him

that neither you nor any of your men can be let in.

GLOUCESTER.

Faint-hearted Woodvile, prizest him 'fore me?

Arrogant Winchester, that haughty prelate

Whom Henry, our late sovereign, ne'er could brook?

Thou art no friend to God or to the King.

Open the gates, or I 'll shut thee out shortly.

Cowardly Woodvile, do you rate him above me?

Arrogant Winchester, that proud churchman

whom Henry, our recent King, could never stand?

You are no friend to God or to the king.

Open the gates, or I'll make sure you lose your job.

SERVING-MEN.

Open the gates unto the lord protector,

Or we 'll burst them open, if that you come not quickly.

Open the gates to the lord protector,

or we'll break them open, if you don't hurry.

[Enter to the Protector at the Tower Gates Winchester

and his men in tawny coats.]

WINCHESTER.

How now, ambitious Humphry! what means this?

Hello there, you ambitious umpire, what's the meaning of this?

GLOUCESTER.

Peel'd priest, dost thou command me to be shut out?

You moth-eaten priest, have you ordered me to be shut out?

WINCHESTER.

I do, thou most usurping proditor,

And not protector, of the king or realm.

I do, you are a rebellious traitor,

not the protector, of the King or the country.

GLOUCESTER.

Stand back, thou manifest conspirator,

Thou that contrivedst to murder our dead lord;

Thou that givest whores indulgences to sin:

I 'll canvass thee in thy broad cardinal's hat,

If thou proceed in this thy insolence.

Stand back, you brazen conspirator,

you who plan to murder our dead king;

you who give whores permission to sin:

I'll trap you in your big Cardinal's hat,

if you carry on with this insolence.

WINCHESTER.

Nay, stand thou back; I will not budge a foot:

This be Damascus, be thou cursed Cain,

To slay thy brother Abel, if thou wilt.

No, stand back; I shall not move an inch:

this is Damascus, you can be damned Cain,

and kill your brother Abel, if you wish.

GLOUCESTER.

I will not slay thee, but I 'll drive thee back:

Thy scarlet robes as a child's bearing-cloth

I 'll use to carry thee out of this place.

I will not kill you, but I'll drive you back:

I shall use your scarlet robes like a sling

for a child, and carry you out of this place.

WINCHESTER.

Do what thou darest; I beard thee to thy face.

Try what you dare; I challenge you to your face.

GLOUCESTER.

What! am I dared and bearded to my face?

Draw, men, for all this privileged place;

Blue coats to tawny coats. Priest, beware your beard;

I mean to tug it and to cuff you soundly:

Under my feet I stamp thy cardinal's hat:

In spite of pope or dignities of church,

Here by the cheeks I 'll drag thee up and down.

What! You are daring and challenging me to my face?

Draw your swords, men, this place has special laws;

blue coats against brown coats. Priest, watch out for your beard;

I mean to pull it and give you a good beating:

I shall stamp your cardinal's hat under my feet:

disregarding the Pope or the dignity of the church,

I'll drag you up and down by your cheeks.

WINCHESTER.

Gloucester, thou wilt answer this before the

pope.

Gloucester, you will answer to the Pope for this.

GLOUCESTER.

Winchester goose, I cry, a rope! a rope!

Now beat them hence; why do you let them stay?

Thee I 'll chase hence, thou wolf in sheep's array.

Out, tawny coats! out, scarlet hypocrite!

Here Gloucester's men beat out the Cardinal's

men, and enter in the hurly-burly the Mayor of

London and his Officers.

You old lech, someone bring me a rope!

Beat them away; why are they still here?

I'll chase you out, you wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Get out, brown coats! Out, you scarlet hypocrite!

MAYOR.

Fie, lords! that you, being supreme magistrates,

Thus contumeliously should break the peace!

Enough, lords! How terrible that you, supreme judges,

should so insolently disturb the peace!

GLOUCESTER.

Peace, mayor! thou know'st little of my wrongs:

Here's Beaufort, that regards nor God nor king,

Hath here distrain'd the Tower to his use.

Peace, mayor! You don't know my grievances:

here's Beaufort, who has no regard for God or the King,

who has commandeered the Tower for his own use.

WINCHESTER.

Here's Gloucester, a foe to citizens,

One that still motions war and never peace,

O'ercharging your free purses with large fines,

That seeks to overthrow religion,

Because he is protector of the realm,

And would have armour here out of the Tower,

To crown himself king and suppress the prince.

Here's Gloucester, an enemy to citizens,

one who always wants war and never peace,

taking your money out of your purses in levies,

who wants to rule over religion,

because he is protector of the kingdom,

and wants the armour out of the Tower,

so he can crown himself king and depose the prince.

GLOUCESTER.

I will not answer thee with words, but blows.

I'll give you your answer with blows, not words.

Here they skirmish again.

MAYOR.

Nought rests for me in this tumultuous strife

But to make open proclamation:

Come, officer; as loud as e'er thou canst.

There's nothing I can do about this battle

but to make an open announcement:

come, officer; as loud as you can.

OFFICER.

All manner of men assembled here in arms

this day against God's peace and the king's, we charge

and command you, in his highness' name, to repair to

your several dwelling-places; and not to wear, handle, or

use any sword, weapon, or dagger, henceforward, upon

pain of death.

All of you men who have gathered here with weapons

today against the peace of God and the King, we order

and command you, in the name of his Highness, to go back to

your residences; and not to wear, handle, or

use any sword, weapon or dagger, from now on,

on pain of death.

GLOUCESTER.

Cardinal, I 'll be no breaker of the law;

But we shall meet, and break our minds at large.

Cardinal, I shall not break the law;

but we shall meet and fight with our minds.

WINCHESTER.

Gloucester, we will meet; to thy cost, be sure;

Thy heart-blood I will have for this day's work.

Gloucester, we will meet; you can be sure you will lose;

I will have your blood for what you've done today.

MAYOR.

I 'll call for clubs, if you will not away.

This Cardinal's more haughty than the devil.

I'll tell my men to use their weapons, if you won't go.

This cardinal is more arrogant than the devil.

GLOUCESTER.

Mayor, farewell:  thou dost but what thou mayst.

Mayor, farewell: you're only doing what you have to.

WINCHESTER.

Abominable Gloucester, guard thy head;

For I intend to have it ere long.

Disgusting Gloucester, watch your head;

for I intend to have it off before long.

[Exeunt, severally, Gloucester and Winchester with their

Serving-men.]

MAYOR.

See the coast clear'd, and then we will depart.

Good God, these nobles should such stomachs bear!

I myself fight not once in forty year.

See that the coast is clear, and then we will leave.

Good God, the way these nobles carry on!

I myself have not fought a single time in forty years.

[Exeunt.]