The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (591 page)

How tame, when men and women are alone,

A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew.

A simple man can make the rudest woman.

Give me thy hand, Kate; I will unto Venice,

Give me your hand, Kate; I will go to Venice,

To buy apparel 'gainst the wedding-day.

To buy clothes for the wedding day.

Provide the feast, father, and bid the guests;

Provide the feast, father, and invite the guests;

I will be sure my Katherine shall be fine.

I will make sure my Katherine will be richly dressed.

BAPTISTA. I know not what to say; but give me your hands. God send you joy, Petruchio! 'Tis a match.

I do not know what to say; but give me your hands. God send you joy, Petruchio! It is a match.

GREMIO, TRANIO. Amen, say we; we will be witnesses.

Amen, we say; we will be witnesses.

PETRUCHIO. Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu.

Father, and wife, and gentlemen, see you soon.

I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace;

I will go to Venice; Sunday comes soon;

We will have rings and things, and fine array;

We will have rings and things, and all sorts of riches;

And kiss me, Kate; we will be married o' Sunday.

And kiss me, Kate; we will be married on Sunday.

[Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA, severally.]

[Exit PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA, separately.]

GREMIO. Was ever match clapp'd up so suddenly?

Was a match ever slapped together so suddenly?

BAPTISTA. Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant's part,

By faith, gentleman, I am acting like a merchant now,

And venture madly on a desperate mart.

And go out recklessly on a desperate bargain.

TRANIO. 'Twas a commodity lay fretting by you;

It was a commodity that was worrying you;

'Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.

It will bring you rewards, or be lost on the seas.

BAPTISTA. The gain I seek is, quiet in the match.

The reward I hope for is quiet in the match.

GREMIO. No doubt but he hath got a quiet catch.

No doubt but he has got a quiet catch.

But now, Baptista, to your younger daughter:

Now is the day we long have looked for;

Now is the day we have waited for a long time;

I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.

I am your neighbor, and was a suitor first.

TRANIO. And I am one that love Bianca more

And I am the one that loves Bianca more

Than words can witness or your thoughts can guess.

Than words can show or your thoughts can guess.

GREMIO. Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I.

Youngling, you cannot love as preciously as I.

TRANIO. Greybeard, thy love doth freeze.

Graybeard, your love freezes.

GREMIO. But thine doth fry. Skipper, stand back; 'tis age that nourisheth.

But yours fries. Kiddo, stand back; it is age that nourishes.

TRANIO. But youth in ladies' eyes that flourisheth.

But youth in ladies' eyes that flourishes.

BAPTISTA. Content you, gentlemen; I'll compound this strife:

Be content, gentlemen; I'll add to this conflict:

'Tis deeds must win the prize, and he of both

It is actions that must win the prize, and he with both

That can assure my daughter greatest dower

That can assure my daughter a greater fortune

Shall have my Bianca's love.

Say, Signior Gremio, what can you assure her?

GREMIO. First, as you know, my house within the city

Is richly furnished with plate and gold:

Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands;

Basins and sinks to wash her dainty hands;

My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry;

My decorations are all of Tyrian tapestry;

In ivory coffers I have stuff'd my crowns;

I have stuffed my coins in ivory boxes;

In cypress chests my arras counterpoints,

My other goods in chests of cypress wood,

Costly apparel, tents, and canopies,

Expensive clothes, tents, and canopies,

Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss'd with pearl,

Fine linen, Turkish cushions embossed with pearls,

Valance of Venice gold in needle-work;

Flag of Venice gold in needle-work;

Pewter and brass, and all things that belong

To house or housekeeping: then, at my farm

I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail,

I have a hundred dairy cows being milked,

Six score fat oxen standing in my stalls,

Twelve dozen fat oxen standing in my stables,

And all things answerable to this portion.

Myself am struck in years, I must confess;

I myself am getting on in years, I must confess;

And if I die to-morrow this is hers,

If whilst I live she will be only mine.

If while I live she will be only mine.

TRANIO. That 'only' came well in. Sir, list to me:

That 'only' is the point. Sir, listen to me:

I am my father's heir and only son;

If I may have your daughter to my wife,

If I may have your daughter to be my wife,

I'll leave her houses three or four as good

I'll leave her three or four houses as good

Within rich Pisa's walls as any one

Old Signior Gremio has in Padua;

Besides two thousand ducats by the year

Of fruitful land, all which shall be her jointure.

Of good land, all which shall be her inheritance.

What, have I pinch'd you, Signior Gremio?

What, have I intimidated you, Sir Gremio?

GREMIO. Two thousand ducats by the year of land!

My land amounts not to so much in all:

My land does not come to be worth that much;

That she shall have, besides an argosy

That she shall have, besides a bunch of ships

That now is lying in Marseilles' road.

What, have I chok'd you with an argosy?

What, have I choked you with a bunch of ships?

TRANIO. Gremio, 'tis known my father hath no less

Gremio, it is known that my father has no less

Than three great argosies, besides two galliasses,

Than three huge groups of ships, besides more of another kind of ship,

And twelve tight galleys; these I will assure her,

And twelve smaller boats; these I will promise her,

And twice as much, whate'er thou offer'st next.

And twice as much, no matter what you offer next.

GREMIO. Nay, I have offer'd all; I have no more;

No, I have offered all; I have no more;

And she can have no more than all I have;

If you like me, she shall have me and mine.

TRANIO. Why, then the maid is mine from all the world,

By your firm promise; Gremio is out-vied.

By your solid promise; Gremio is outdone.

BAPTISTA. I must confess your offer is the best;

And let your father make her the assurance,

She is your own; else, you must pardon me;

If you should die before him, where's her dower?

If you end up dying before him, where is her inheritance?

TRANIO. That's but a cavil; he is old, I young.

That's just nitpicking; he is old, I am young.

GREMIO. And may not young men die as well as old?

BAPTISTA. Well, gentlemen, I am thus resolv'd.

Well, gentleman, I have made my decision.

On Sunday next, you know,

Next Sunday, you know,

My daughter Katherine is to be married;

Now, on the Sunday following, shall Bianca

Now, on the following Sunday, Bianca

Be bride to you, if you make this assurance;

Shall be your bride, if you make this promise;

If not, to Signior Gremio.

And so I take my leave, and thank you both.

GREMIO. Adieu, good neighbour.

[Exit BAPTISTA.]

Now, I fear thee not:

Now, I am not afraid of you:

Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool

Young gambler, your father was a fool

To give thee all, and in his waning age

To give you all, and in his declining years

Set foot under thy table. Tut! a toy!

Set food under your roof. Sheesh! A toy!

An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy.

[Exit.]

TRANIO. A vengeance on your crafty wither'd hide!

Revenge on your clever, wrinkled skin!

Yet I have fac'd it with a card of ten.

Yet I have bluffed you with a card of ten.

'Tis in my head to do my master good:

It is in my head to do my master good:

I see no reason but suppos'd Lucentio

I see nothing for it but the man who's supposed to be Lucentio

Must get a father, call'd 'suppos'd Vincentio';

Must get a father, called 'supposed Vincentio';

And that's a wonder: fathers commonly

And that's an amazing thing: fathers usually

Do get their children; but in this case of wooing

Get their children; but in this case of wooing

A child shall get a sire, if I fail not of my cunning.

A child shall get a father, if my cleverness does not fail me.

[Exit.]