The Complete Rockstar Series (7 page)

A
dam

“
H
urry El
, we’re going to miss it and we don’t have time before practice to wait for the next one!” I call out, dragging her along by her hand.

“Adam, you’re going to make me fall down!” She laughs as we run the short distance through the rain.

Ellie squeals when we reach the rows of red rope, dipping between fixed poles to keep the queue orderly. It’s raining so hard today, that the queue is empty. By the time we weave around all of the poles, we’re drenched and out of breath.

“Tickets?” the bloke at the entrance asks. I drop them into his hand and he opens up the capsule door, ushering us inside. “Have fun,” he says, shutting us inside with a soft thud.

“Wow,” Ellie exclaims, catching her breath. “We have a whole capsule to ourselves.” She turns and gives me a mischievous grin. “It’s so beautiful, even in the rain.” Her hands are pressed to the glass wall as we begin to rise, tiny streams of water drip off of the ends of her long hair.

I cross the small space and crush against her back, wrapping my arms around her waist. “I figured you’d ridden the London Eye before,” I whisper in her ear.

She shivers from the contact. “Once, but only for school. It was kind of boring, we had to mark things on maps.”

Ellie arches her head back, exposing the damp skin that stretches from her ear to her shoulder. I flick my tongue along it to catch each droplet of water. Once I’m satisfied, I scrape my teeth up and down the length of her neck before placing a small kiss on each tender spot.

“Mmmmm.”

The moans that she makes drive me insane. I could listen to her all day. I have to stop this torture. I didn’t bring her here to fuck her. I wanted to have an actual date, something I’ve never done with anyone before.

“Look,” I point outside, “you can see pretty far even with all the rain.”

Ellie huffs in frustration when I stop kissing her neck, but she follows my hand to see where I’m pointing.

“That’s Charing Cross Station,” she says. “Oh, and there’s the bridge!” She squirms out of my arms and dashes to the other side of the pod. “Look Adam! It’s Westminster Abby!”

I watch her face light up and smile. That look is why I wanted to do this, to see her happy and carefree because of something I did for her. “It’s beautiful,” I agree, looking out through the glass, water splashing against it and running down in sheets. “The city looks so peaceful from up here. You could almost believe that life is perfect,” I say wistfully.

Ellie turns to face me, putting her hands up behind my neck and threading them through my wet hair. “With you, it’s always perfect,” she whispers.

“El,” I murmur. She stands on her toes. I cup her face, bringing my mouth down over hers. Passion explodes between us and the gentle kiss turns desperate and needy, our tongues twisting together in a fight for dominance.

Aching to feel more of her body against mine, I skim my hands down her back, stopping when I reach her firm backside. My fingers knead into her flesh, pressing her hips into my hard shaft. Ellie takes a step back and sits, pulling me down until I’m lying on top of her on the long wooden bench in the center of the capsule.

“God El, I need you so badly,” I whisper against her lips.

“Me too, Adam. I want you.” She arches her back and wraps her legs around my waist, grinding the crease of her jeans into my cock.

Unable to stop myself, I rut against her hot core, not caring that I’ll probably have a sore dick later from the friction on the rough fabric of our clothing. Both of us are panting heavily, fingers touching and mouths exploring. Ellie slides her hands into the back of my jeans and I growl, letting out a string of expletives.

The ride slows and I almost don’t notice in time to keep the attendant from getting a free show.

“El,” I jump up and quickly adjust my pants. “Get up.” She flies off of the seat and fixes her clothing right before the capsule door opens.

“Enjoy your ride?” the man asks as we stop out into the rain.

We both grin like idiots and nod right before we make a run for the tube station, laughing the entire way.

“
H
awke
, keep up! For God’s sake, what are you doing?” Dax yells at our drummer, his face growing red and angry.

“Christ Dax, what the fuck is your problem?” He’s been acting like a bastard the last few days. It’s not a coincidence that his bad mood started when he began favoring his right side and showed up with a cut behind his ear. I know better than to ask about his battle scars, though.

“He’s not keeping up with the tempo! It’s throwing me off!”

“Maybe you didn’t practice your part like you were supposed to,” Hawke says calmly from behind his drum set, twirling his sticks around in his fingers like only a drummer can.

Dax’s shoulders hunch up. I can practically see the steam coming out of his ears.

“Liam!” I call out across the empty pub. George lets us practice Saturday and Sunday mornings before he opens.

Dax’s huge older brother looks up from his seat next to Ellie at the bar where they’re sharing a giant mound of chips, laughing like hyenas. “Yeah!”

“Tell your idiot brother to get his shit together!”

Dax shoots me a terrifying look, which I promptly ignore. I’ve known him for so long that I’m not intimidated by him, even if most people are, and rightly so. He’s a dangerous bastard.

Liam tiredly drags his hulking figure off the barstool and shouts. “Dax! Backroom, now!” He apologizes to Ellie and stalks over to the tiny back room of the DK, flinging open the shabby door.

Dax scowls, but puts down his guitar and dutifully follows his brother. In the Davies household, they look out for each other. That means Dax has loads of respect for his older brothers and pretty much asks how high when one of them says jump.

The door slams behind them with a resounding
bang
causing Ellie to flinch. She glances at me with worried eyes for a quick second then resumes eating her chips.

“I guess we’re taking a break guys.” I lift the strap over my head and put my guitar down on its stand.

“Cool.” Gavin pulls out his fancy mobile, climbing into a secluded booth to make a call.

“I’ll be right back,” Hawke calls out as he ducks outside.

I take the stool next to Ellie and sigh, rubbing my eyes tiredly. “No one told me you had to play referee to a bunch of fighting children in order to have a band.” I snatch one of her chips, devouring it before she can protest.

Ellie raises an eyebrow at my lack of manners. “Well,” she says thoughtfully, “you throw four big personalities into one room and you’re bound have a few disagreements here and there.” She shrugs and takes a sip of her Coke.

I swivel my stool in her direction and pull hers around until her knees are between mine. “How’d you get so smart?” I ask, tugging her in for a kiss.

She playfully ducks my kiss, reaching back to get a chip off her plate. “I study instead of playing rock and roll all day long,” she laughs, dangling the chip in front of me. I dart in to take it right from her hand using my mouth, laughing at her answer as I chew.

“That’s probably all too true, El.”

The door to the back room opens and Liam comes out looking no worse for the wear. He walks calmly over to the bar, taking his seat on the other side of Ellie. “No worries, you’re all good now. Dax just needed to vent.”

When Dax finally comes back into the main area of the pub, he seems to have gotten himself together. I know him well enough to see through it. His face is pale and stressed and his jaw is clenched to hide the physical pain. I want to ask him what’s going on, but he always gives me my privacy when it comes to the shit with my family, so I can’t bring myself to intrude.

Hawke comes back inside and seats himself behind the drums.

“Where’s Gavin?” Dax grunts, picking up his guitar. “Let’s finish this shit and go home.”

I exchange glances with Liam and he almost imperceptibly shakes his head, warning me to leave it alone.

“Alright.” I stand up and grab my guitar. “Gavin! We’re doing this!”

Gavin hangs up his call and hurries over to his bass. The next hour is awkward as hell, but we actually sound really great by the time we finish what we needed to get done.

Dax doesn’t say a word as he packs up his stuff and storms out of the DK.

There’s a loud sigh from Dax’s brother. “I guess I’m going as well.” Liam hops off of his stool, giving Ellie a crooked grin. “Don’t mind him, he’s just…” Liam cocks his head and shoots me a knowing look.

“I know, Liam. Not a problem.”

He nods and turns back to Ellie. “Ellie, I’ll see you some other time?”

“Of course. Thanks for keeping me company.” Ellie stands up, sliding her hand in mine. “I’m so used to being the fifth wheel, it’s nice to have someone to chat with every now and again.” I squeeze her hand appreciatively letting her know how glad I am that she’s always there, willing to support me.

“Anytime,” Liam says. He calls out his goodbyes to Hawke and Gavin and disappears out the door to catch up with his very grumpy younger brother.

“That was fun,” I say sarcastically. “Ready to get out of here?”

Ellie laughs and kisses my cheek. “I’m always ready.” Her eyes sparkle with mischief. I can’t help but grin at her giddiness.

“Let’s go then. Now that the rain has stopped, I know this great park where we can continue what we started in that capsule.”

She grins as I tug her towards the door. Jesus, is it possible that I love her? I have no idea what love feels like, having never received it before, but if it feels as good as this then I’m sure I’ve been missing out. If there’s one thing Ellie does to me, it’s that she makes me
feel
, sensations so confusing and at the same time so amazing that I don’t ever want them to end.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s love, and as I look at the gorgeous girl next to me I realize I’m the luckiest bastard in London.

E
llie

A
dam
and I have fallen into a comfortable routine; school, his rehearsals and gigs, and the two of us snogging until my lips are chapped and both of our bodies are humming with desire.

Two
months
we’ve been together. I’m frustrated that Adam won’t take our physical relationship further. Waiting a little longer won’t kill me, even though sometimes it feels like it might. Adam worries way too much about corrupting me, about not being good enough for me. We’re all just people, aren’t we? Each one of us looking for someone to love, to have a connection with. What difference does it make who we are or where we’re from?

“Ellie? Where’s your head?”

“Huh?” I turn to face Kate, completely lost at this point in our conversation. Actually, I was unaware that we were even
having
a conversation as I was too involved in daydreaming of ways to get Adam to stop holding out on me. Not that I’m experienced enough to even know what any of these ways are or how to make them work.

Kate gives me a knowing smile. “You’re thinking about Adam again, aren’t you? Sneaky bitch,” she giggles, shoving me playfully.

“What do you think?” I mutter, embarrassed to have been caught fantasizing about my boyfriend.

“Well, he
is
smoking hot,” she says, fanning herself with her hand dramatically. “I’d bang him every chance I got if I were you. Maybe you need to take another spin on the Eye, that’ll do it.”

“Kate! Stop it!” I push her away, and feel the burning heat flood my entire face and neck. I knew I shouldn’t have told her that.

It’s been hard to be with Adam at school. Most of the girls here want him, and a massive amount of them have already had him. Both groups, meaning most of the female population of the school, hate me on principle and wish me dead for being the one to get him.

Naturally, me being his girlfriend doesn’t stop them from their continued pursuit. Adam, being as clueless as most boys are, brushes them off politely with a smile, making them hate me even more.

Kate laughs at me as we grab our books from our lockers and head outside and down the stairs to meet Adam.

We find Adam talking to Dax just out front, looking so unbelievably sexy that it just isn’t fair. He’s smiling, leaning against the graffiti covered brick wall that runs along the perimeter of the school property. His short, dark hair is messy, probably from his hands pushing through it all day as he ignores the teachers instead sketching or writing lyrics in his ever-present notebook. His lean, sculpted torso is wrapped up in a tight, long-sleeved shirt that hides nothing, his usual scuffed boots on his feet.

Noticing us as we get close, Adam tilts his head and his perfect smile widens for me. The small scar on his top lip from the attack has now faded to a thin white line. It only adds to his rugged sex appeal. “Hey, you girls made it! We were just going to send out the search party,” he jokes, pulling me close against him.

I melt into his side, inhaling his perfect ‘Adam’ scent. A combination of cheap soap, laundered cotton, and the coconut scented wax he religiously uses to polish his guitar. Sighing, I wrap my arm around his waist and squeeze, wanting to be as close as possible without drawing the evil stares of most of the females nearby.

“Sure you can’t come with us, Sweetheart?” he asks, his breath moving across my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I love when he calls me that.

“Can’t. I have to study for the big chemistry exam tomorrow,” I tell him for the hundredth time as I pop a mint into my mouth.

He lets out an exaggerated huff of air, “Fine, we’ll have to make do and practice without you. I just won’t have any inspiration at all and my music will suck, but I’ll live.”

“The way you’re staring at her, I’m sure you won’t forget much,” Kate says. “See you later! I’ve got footy practice and coach doesn’t care that it’s cold enough today to freeze piss.” She waves before jogging around the back of the school towards the fields.

“C’mon, we’ll walk you home on our way to meet Gavin and Hawke,” Adam says, tugging on my arm.

“Ellie, you better ace that exam. If you’re skipping to cram, he’s going to be whinging the entire time and we won’t get anything done. Make it worth it, yeah?” Dax says, a smirk on the large boy’s face as he shoves Adam playfully.

“Yeah, I will. You know I wouldn’t miss it otherwise,” I tell them.

Adam hugs me tighter, making my pulse race with desire. “We know you wouldn’t.”

We reach my flat less than ten minutes later. The guys leave with a promise from Adam to pay attention during practice and from Dax to make sure Adam doesn’t pine away for me the entire time.

“Don’t worry, Dax. I
want
him pining away,” I joke as I steal a final kiss from Adam and head into my building.

I step around the rubbish that litters the stairway so I can walk past the flat down the hall from mine. I’m still afraid of, but no longer flinching away from, the strange noises that come from behind the shoddy door.

Unlocking the two separate bolts that Dad had installed on our door, I duck inside and immediately relock both. I decide that I should get started straight away on my studying. I cross the tiny lounge, dump my bag on the tiny desk in my room, and pull out my textbook. Mum and Dad will both be at work for another few hours at least. Crappy jobs, but jobs nonetheless.

If I’m missing an afternoon with Adam I may as well make it worth my time and learn this stuff, so I settle into my chair and locate the first chapter.

I lose track of time, not realizing how long I’ve been studying until my stomach growls loudly and my neck is aching from bending over my book. A glance at my watch tell me that my mum and dad should have been back over an hour ago. I hadn’t even realized that it’s dark out, and has been for some time now.

“Weird,” I mutter to myself.

My parents will probably appreciate a hot meal when they get home. I pull out the ingredients for a curry and get to work heating the oil and chopping vegetables. Dinner is almost done when I hear the locks disengage and my parents come through the door.

“Hey Mum, Dad, I’ve made a curry,” I call out as I pull three plates down and begin to dish out the food. No one has answered me yet. I glance over at the doorway. The spoon in my hand clatters to the floor when I see their pallid, drawn faces.

“Mum! Dad! What’s going on? Are you okay?” I run over and stop in front of my mum.

She says nothing, her vibrant blue eyes are glazed over, seeing something far away. Something that isn’t here in this room with us. Her blonde hair is windblown and tousled, her pale face haggard. I can see the red tinge around her eyes, a sign that’s she’s recently been crying. Mum has cried a lot since we had to move, but this… this is different, and I’m scared to death.

“Mum!” I yell, reaching out to touch her arm.

She startles, as if surprised to find herself here in our flat, with me in front of her. Dad shuffles past me to the table and drops heavily into a chair.

“Ellie,” she whispers, sagging against the front door. She looks older, much older. She’s not the vivacious, beautiful woman she was before our lives went to crap.

“Here,” I say, taking her coat and handbag, tossing them over the sofa. “Come sit.” Guiding her to the small table, I push her down gently into a chair, hiding my shaking hands behind my back.

Unsure what to do, I pick the spoon up off of the floor and bring three glasses of water over to the table. Then I get the plates, putting one in front of my mum, one in front of my dad, and sit down across from them with the last one.

“Where have you both been?” I ask cautiously, afraid of upsetting them further but freaking out from not knowing what’s going on.

“We…we…” she stammers, “we were at the clinic,” she says.

“What do you mean? Are you ill? Is that why you’re so pale? Do I need to get you some medicine?”

I turn to Dad and he’s just sitting there, his expression as unseeing and vacant as Mum’s was. He’s completely still. He doesn’t even blink. It’s like something died inside him.

My mum’s eyes are filled with tears when she finally meets my gaze. The sadness in that look, the total despair, the pity for me… I see it all as plain as day.

“I’m not well, Ellie,” she whispers, her voice barely loud enough to hear over the thumping of my heart behind my eardrums.

“No,” I say, squeezing my eyes shut, willing this to be a dream. This isn’t happening. I shake my head from side to side, “No! No, no, no!”

“Ellie, yes,” Mum says. “Cancer, ovarian cancer. Stage two.”

I suck in a breath and hold it, my mum can’t be ill. A million questions fly through my head. She can’t leave me, she’s too young. What will we do? How will we survive if she can’t work? Does Dad make enough money for us? I’m not even out of school yet.

“But… what about?” I can’t form a coherent sentence before the tears start. Soon, I’m sobbing uncontrollably, helpless to stop myself, unable to be strong for my mum.

“Shhhhh , Ellie. It’ll be alright.” My mum has circled the table and is crouching down next to my chair. I throw my arms around her, clinging to her. I can’t lose her. Dad finally snaps out of his trance, coming over to wrap us both in his arms.

They bring me over to the sofa where we manage to discuss her plans.
Our
plans. Chemo, surgery, social benefits, leave of absence from work. First and foremost, they insist that I finish school and take my A-levels as planned. No matter how much I argue that I should quit school and get a job, they refuse to budge on this. I agree just to keep them happy. At this point, I’ll do anything to make it easier for my parents, anything.

When I finally drag myself into bed and lay down, I’m too exhausted to cry, to think, to make sense of anything. All I can do is
feel
, and it’s the one thing I wish I couldn’t do.