The Complete Private Collection: Private; Invitation Only; Untouchable; Confessions; Inner Circle; Legacy; Ambition; Revelation; Last Christmas; Paradise ... The Book of Spells; Ominous; Vengeance (183 page)

“Every guy on campus has a hat like that. It’s like seeing a polo shirt in the snow and being positive it’s Daniel’s.” He tugged the hat from her grip and chucked it into the woods. “Let’s get out of here. It’s freaking freezing.”

Ariana nodded. “You’re right.” She let him pull her up and dusted the snow from her wet jeans. “That hat could be anybody’s.”

She was simply repeating the words Thomas wanted to hear. A small part of her knew she was being irrational, thinking Daniel was here, but he was the
worst
person to have seen them. The one person who could make everything fall apart at once. How could her mind not go there? Besides, she’d
just
given him that hat. What were the odds?

Another wave of panic gripped her as her mind raced over the events of the day. Daniel probably hadn’t believed her lie about the text. What if he’d just pretended to believe it to save face in front of their friends, then stayed behind to make her pay? He didn’t like to lose. That quality was what made him a star athlete. It made him a Ryan. The kind of guy who would do anything to keep from losing Ariana.
Anything.

And if he was here somewhere, following her and Thomas, there was no telling what he’d do.

“Come on. We can stay in Ketlar.” Thomas grabbed her hand, but her fingers were too cold to feel him.

“Ketlar’s not open.”

She clung to him as if he could erase the fear. Make it not true. Make that hat somehow not be there.

“I rigged the back door. We can stay in my room.” He stepped ahead of her as they reached the edge of the woods, leaning against a thick, snow-covered pine branch so Ariana could pass through.

“I don’t know,” Ariana said, pausing as the wind whipped her hair around her face. “What if someone sees us? We can’t get caught. And what if Daniel—”

“Daniel’s not here!” Thomas shouted against the wind, releasing her hand. His tone was sharp, stinging, and Ariana took a shocked step back.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, not knowing exactly what she was apologizing for.

Thomas’s shoulders dropped. “No. I mean,
I’m
sorry.” His voice softened and he looked off to the right, toward the school. Away from her. “It’s just, I’m sick of hearing about Daniel Ryan.”

Ariana’s heart warmed at the vulnerability in this statement.

“And I’m aware that we can’t get caught. I’m screwed if I get expelled,” he said. “But I can’t think of any other options.”

“Fine,” Ariana said. “We’ll go to Ketlar.”

He reached for her hand again and they walked the rest of the way in silence. As she trudged through the snow, bent against the wind, Ariana tried to get her feelings in order. Thomas’s tone had wounded her. It had made her feel like a scolded child. Plus, why did he care so much about getting caught? He always got away with everything. And he wasn’t the one who had everything to lose if he got expelled. He wasn’t the one whose family would be destroyed if he was caught. When they reached the back door of Ketlar, Thomas easily pulled it open.

“The wonders of duct tape,” he said, pointing to the metallic strip he’d secured over the lock. He pulled his lighter from his pocket and ignited it, then gestured for Ariana to go in ahead of him.

The halls were eerily lifeless. Usually filled with laughter and loud music, they now echoed with heavy silence. Ariana shivered in the
cold, watching her breath rise and disappear in front of her. Silently, she followed him to the second floor, turning away as they passed Daniel’s room.

They stopped at the end of the hall, in front of Thomas’s door. It was bare, unlike most of the other doors on the hall, which were covered in bumper stickers, dry-erase boards, and pictures. He pushed the door open with his free hand.

“It’s not exactly a room at the Driscoll,” he announced, holding the lighter in front of them. “But it should work. At least for tonight.”

The security lights on the quad afforded enough light for Ariana to see the state of Thomas’s room. It looked almost identical to the space she shared with Noelle, except it was about half the size. Thomas’s side of the room was sparse and neat. His thin plaid bedspread was stretched tightly over his single bed, and the desk next to it was almost bare, with the exception of a few sharpened pencils in a pencil holder and an empty fifth of Captain Morgan’s. The essentials. The other side of the room was littered with dirty clothes and textbooks. A large metal sign that said,
IT’S MILLER TIME
, hung over a cluttered desk, and the bed was unmade.

“Classy,” she said wryly. “Did you rob a liquor store?”

“Harsh words from someone who just committed a felony.” Thomas smirked. “Breaking and entering. Considering your reputation, I would have expected more from you.”

Ariana exhaled slowly. It seemed that the tension between them had dissolved as quickly as it had appeared. And knowing that they were together in Thomas’s room, out of the storm—out of
sight—made her feel safe. She dropped her bag on Thomas’s desk chair.

“You seem to be forgetting that I’m not the one breaking and entering here. I’m just the accomplice.”

“Nice try. But you’re in this just as deep as I am. If I go down, you’re coming with me.” For a moment, the shadows moving across Thomas’s face made him look different. Like a stranger. Dangerous. But then he smiled and he was Thomas again. “Let me get the light.”

“Don’t.” Ariana said quickly, reaching for him. She gripped his sleeve. “Someone might notice.” She didn’t want to tell him that there was something in her that needed to keep the relative darkness between them. Knowing that he couldn’t entirely see her face, couldn’t read her, would make it easier for her to get closer to him.

“Good call, naughty girl.”

He let the lighter go dark and leaned toward her. All the tiny hairs on Ariana’s neck stood on end and her lips pursed, anticipating his kiss. But then he leaned right past her and opened his top desk drawer, plucking out a pair of candles.

“Interesting,” she said, raising an eyebrow and sliding aside to give him more room. “This wouldn’t be some sort of ploy to seduce me, would it?”

Thomas placed the candles on his desk and quickly lit them, then glanced at her over his shoulder. “Like I really need candles.”

Ariana blushed as her heart flipped over ten times. How did anyone get so confident? It was intoxicating. Thomas turned and dropped
down on his bed, looking up at her with a cocky smile in the flickering light.

“You gonna stand there all night?” he asked slyly. “Much warmer over here.”

Ariana didn’t move. Suddenly, now that she was here—now that she was faced with the stark reality of being alone with Thomas, being in bed with him—she couldn’t do it. What was she thinking? That she was going to lose her virginity to him right here, right now? After telling Daniel that she couldn’t sleep with him in a dorm room? After putting off her perfect boyfriend for so long, was she really going to give it up to Thomas Pearson?

Besides, Daniel might have followed them here. He might be standing outside the door right now, listening. The very thought sent the walls closing in on her. There was no telling what he would do if he heard the wrong thing.

“I can’t,” she said.

Thomas’s smile froze. “You’re kidding.

“I’ll just sleep in your roommate’s bed,” Ariana told him, trying not to cringe as she sat at the very edge of the other bed. The faint smell of spoiled milk leaked from a mini fridge under her bed.

“Wait a second. First you have me calling the Driscoll Hotel and now you’re all shy?” Thomas challenged, propping himself up on one elbow to see her.

“Don’t be mad,” Ariana said.

“I’m not mad. Just curious,” he replied. “Split personalities interest me.”

“I’m not crazy,” Ariana snapped.

Thomas stared at her for a long moment. So long that Ariana almost started to squirm.

“Fine. Whatever you want.” Thomas shrugged.

He got up and stripped down to his boxers right in front of her. Then he got right into bed, tunneling under the covers.

“But you should know that my roommate’s kind of a man whore. I’ve seen some pretty skanky girls coming in and out of this room. And I gotta tell you, in the four months I’ve known the guy, I’ve never seen him wash his sheets. No telling what kind of—”

“I’ll sleep on top of the sheets,” Ariana said. She glanced around her for a comforter. There wasn’t one. She could already feel the sharp cold settling into her bones. She shivered, pressing her face into the sheets to warm her nose. They smelled like mildew. She glanced over at Thomas. If he was a gentleman, he would offer her a blanket. Or at least some sweats or something. Anything dry and warm.

“Nice and warm over here,” Thomas said with an exaggerated yawn. “Biohazard-free, too.”

Her fists clenched in indignation. “How nice for you.”

She was not going to ask him for clothes. She refused. Instead, she pulled off her sweater to get the wet sleeves away from her skin, exposing the white T-shirt underneath. Then she yanked her coat over her body, trying to keep the wet outside layer away from her. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, curling into a tight ball. She was colder than ever.

“Yup. Nice and warm,” Thomas sang, cuddling further under his blankets. “Toasty, really. Toasty, toasty, toasty . . .”

“For God’s sake,” she snapped, sitting up. “If I come over there, will you shut up and go to sleep?”

He lifted up the covers and slid back toward the wall, giving her room. “Neither one of us is going to get any sleep.”

Ariana was glad Thomas couldn’t see the flush that crept from neck into her face.

“We’ll see,” she said.

She dropped down next to him and turned over so her back was to him. As he settled the blankets over her body he let his arm drape around her waist. Despite her early protestations, she luxuriated in the warmth.

“Now what?” Thomas whispered in her ear, sending pleasant shivers all down her side.

“Now we sleep,” she told him firmly, even though her entire body was tingling.

“Sure,” he said. “You just wake me when you can’t take it anymore.”

Ariana said nothing, but she lay there, awake, as Thomas slowly fell asleep, worried that if she moved even slightly he might think she was coming on to him. Worried that at any second Daniel would open the lockless door and catch them together. But after watching the digital clock tick from minute to minute for over an hour, after listening for footfalls in the hallway that never came, she finally let the sound of Thomas’s steady breathing lull her to sleep.

Ariana jolted upright, her chest heaving. Ragged, uneven gasps filled the air around her. The familiar nightmare, cut together like a terrifying collage, had woken her. The empty bottle of wine, the trace of her own screams, the blinding flash of fluorescent light. And her mother’s voice.

You never know what people are capable of until they’re pushed to their edge.

She shivered and looked around for something familiar. But there was no picture of her on the desk. No Christmas lights around the windows. No neat stacks of worn novels piled next to her bed. Just a soccer ball wedged under the desk and a near-empty bottle of Captain Morgan.

Her breathing slowed as she realized where she was. Releasing Thomas’s plaid bedspread from her grip, she glanced down at him. He slept on his stomach, his head turned toward her. She watched his
body rise and fall calmly next to her. His mouth was slightly parted, his breathing even. She tried to ignore the twinge of jealousy she felt. She hadn’t slept like that in too long. Not since the nightmares had started, just over a year ago.

She turned to find her sweater and a hand on her back made her jump. She reminded herself that it was just Thomas. Just Thomas.

“You seem tense, naughty girl,” Thomas yawned behind her. “Luckily, I happen to know a few ways to calm you down,” he added suggestively, pulling her back down. He wrapped his warm arms around her from behind and cuddled into her back, their bodies melding together.

Ariana forced a laugh, not turning around. “I should go,” she said softly, without moving. She knew she should pull away from him. Should get up and walk out the door. Go to Vermont. End this thing with Thomas, whatever it was, while she still could. But the strength of his arms seemed to soothe her. They were so close she could feel his heart beating. Her whole body slowed under his touch, making it impossible for her to do the right thing.

“You’re not getting out of here any time soon. Not if I have anything to do with it.”

She wanted to tell him that he didn’t have anything to do with it, didn’t have any say in what she did. But she would have been lying. And she couldn’t bear the thought of being both a cheat and a liar. That wasn’t her. It couldn’t be her. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself.

“Did you sleep okay?” she asked.

“Sure.” Thomas softly brushed her hair aside and kissed the back
of her neck. His words hummed on her clammy skin. “But I would have preferred that neither of us got any sleep.” He slid his hands across her hips and started to move them up her stomach.

She raised her hands to his, stopping him, and rolled over to face him. He had a crease on one side of his face, stubble covered his chin and cheeks, and his hair stuck up in back. But even with all this, he was still so handsome.

“Tell me something about you,” she said.

She needed to hear something that would justify all this. Something that would make it okay that she was here with him instead of on the slopes with Daniel. She needed him to make this okay.

Thomas smirked, bringing his lips close to her ear. “Why?” he whispered.

Chills shot down her spine, and suddenly it didn’t matter if he made it okay. All she wanted to do was kiss him. “Because.” Ariana was so breathless as she looked up at him, she could hardly form the words. “Because we just spent the night in the same bed and we hardly know each other.”

As she looked into his eyes, she realized that wasn’t really true. They might not have spent much time together, might not have known the small details, but somehow, she knew him. He knew her. She could feel it in the way her mind, her body responded whenever he looked at her. Even if she didn’t know his middle name or whether he’d worn braces or if he loved his parents . . . she
knew
him.