The Color of Destiny (The Color of Heaven Series Book 2) (25 page)

Not to understate the drama that was playing out inside of me—my heart was pounding thunderously. I was mesmerized and speechless.

All my life I had dreamed of finding my baby. Now, here she was, in the flesh, in my home, shaking my hand.

Marissa moved to stand beside Becky. “This is strange, isn’t it,” she said, breaking the ice with a strangely graceful sledgehammer. I loved her for it.

My gaze locked with Mrs. Moore’s. Her eyes were warm and smiling, as if we shared a common secret. To my surprise, I wanted to rush into
her
arms and hug her and weep like a baby.

“It certainly is,” Sandra said. “You have no idea how many times we wished we could find out what happened to you, and wished we knew more about you. We never imagined you were from our own hometown.”

“I was curious about you, too,” I replied.

“No, you don’t understand,” she continued, moving toward me to clasp both my hands in hers. “I’m so relieved to finally know that you didn’t die in that accident. You have no idea how we dreamed of a moment like this, how we talked about it. Becky always said she was certain you survived. She never stopped believing it, and she was sure that one day, somehow, we would find you.”

So much for polite, genteel greetings.
A flood of emotion welled up inside me, and my eyes filled with tears. “I never believed you were dead either.”

Before I could take another breath, Becky walked into my arms. Suddenly we were embracing each other. Blinking in disbelief, I felt the beat of her heart against my chest; I breathed in the clean natural fragrance of her skin. Oh, God, it was the answer to all my prayers.

I felt reborn.

I never had the chance to hold her when she was a baby, to press my nose to her soft, tiny head, or watch her clasp my finger in her little palm, but how many times had I dreamed of it?

This moment was everything I’d ever wanted, and more—because now I knew that she had been dreaming of this, too. All her life.

“I’m so happy to finally meet you,” I managed to say through shaky breaths. “I feel so lucky—to know that you found a good family.”

“They found me,” she said with a smile that moved me deeply as she drew back and looked into my eyes. I was spellbound.

“Thank you for unsealing the files,” Sandra said. “I was able to call the agency as soon as Marissa told me what happened. They confirmed everything.”

“They unsealed the files?”

“You didn’t know?”

I shook my head. “Maybe they weren’t sure of the legal issues,” I suggested. “I think they’re afraid I’m going to sue them.”

“You would have every right to,” she replied. “What happened was... unthinkable. I give you my word that Gerry will look into it. He’ll want to make sure nothing like this ever happens again.”

“I appreciate that.”

Sandra paused. “I’m so sorry, Kate. If we had known the papers were forged, we never would have gone ahead with the adoption.”

“I don’t blame
you
,” I assured her. “You did nothing wrong. You’re good people, and I’m grateful that you took such good care of Becky. If you only knew how many times I prayed that she was alive, and if she was, that she was with a family just like yours.”

Ryan offered drinks to all of us. While he and Marissa mixed up a pitcher of iced tea, the rest of us moved into the living room.

Becky sat down beside me. “There’s so much I want to know about you,” she said. “Marissa tells me you were a paramedic.”

I nodded and told her about my career in New Hampshire. One thing led to another, and soon everything came out—how I almost had an abortion but changed my mind at the last minute, how Glenn and I were married right after high school, how we weren’t able to have any more children, and how he eventually became involved with some bad people. That brought us to the reason why, and how, I ended up in Chester.

“First of all,” Becky said, “thank you for walking out of the abortion clinic that day. I’m happy you decided to have me, or I wouldn’t be here. That was very brave of you.”

“I think I had some sort of vision of you,” I replied, “because I saw a little red-haired girl, and I heard her laughing. Now here you are, with red hair and an infectious laugh. It’s so strange to think about.”

We all fell silent, but there was no awkwardness to it.

“Maybe this was how it was always meant to be,” I said, “because I was so young. I’m not positive I would have been the best parent for you.”

“I’m sure you would have been great,” Becky said, taking hold of my hand and squeezing it.

I regarded her with warmth and appreciation. “You’ve had a good life, and I can see how much your mom loves you, and how you love her. I can’t lie. I’ll always be angry with my father for what he did, but when I look at you now, I feel very blessed to know that you had the life I always wanted for you. I wished on every star, and now I can’t help but believe that dreams and wishes do come true, and miracles do happen.”

“Kate.” Marissa gave me a look as she set down the tray of iced tea. “Speaking of miracles...”

I didn’t understand at first, and then I remembered.

Chapter Seventy-five

“Is this yours?” Kate asked Becky.

Sandra gasped and covered her mouth with a hand, while Becky stood up from her chair. “Oh, my. Where did you find him?”

“I’m not sure, exactly,” Marissa said, “because it was my grandmother who found him, and she passed away last Christmas. But it must have been somewhere in the village. She brought him home to me one day and said he was an orphan, and that he needed a good home.”

Becky took Bubba into her arms and turned to her mother.

“We lost him years ago,” Sandra said, “when we sailed up here for the summer. We searched everywhere for him, and whenever we came back, we always hoped we’d stumble across him somehow. But he was with you all along? How in the world did you know he belonged to
Becky
?”

“Because he used to belong to
me,
” I replied. “He was with me in the ambulance when I had the accident, and the only explanation I can give is that my father did at least one thing right. When he took you to the agency, he must have made sure Bubba went with you. The only question I had was how Bubba ended up here in Chester. When Marissa heard that your family had been coming here from Bar Harbor for years, that’s what made her think about the connections.”

Though I would always resent my father for what he did, I decided in that moment that I would choose to be grateful for that one small gesture on his part. He had made sure that a part of me stayed with my baby.

Becky hugged Bubba tight to her chest, and again, her smile and laughter moved right through me.

Epilogue

I am not sure how to finish my story, because it isn’t truly finished. I still live in Chester with Ryan, and I am in awe of the world and all the magic that happens around us. I look up at the sky and marvel at the clouds. I’m moved by the beauty of the sun reflecting off the water like thousands of shimmering diamonds. How lucky we all are to be surrounded by such magnificence.

I also marvel at Ryan’s handsome profile when we are driving in the car, going somewhere we’ve never been before. I’m filled with joy each time he smiles at me or takes my hand in his.

I’ll never regret the fact that I was pregnant as a teenager, and I will always believe it was my destiny to love Glenn. Nor will I forget that I was forced to say good-bye to many people I loved. It’s a lot of grief for one person to carry. There was a time I was bitter about all I lost. It seemed very unfair.

But here I am today, married to an incredible man who loves me with a passion and devotion I can barely fathom. His love is mind-boggling to me, yet I return it with equal measure.

These days, Marissa is busy starting a psychiatry residency in Ottawa. She’ll be specializing in geriatrics. She married Sean two years ago, and he works for the Federal Government. They hope to eventually return to Nova Scotia and raise a family here.

Becky spent a few summers with us in Chester, working at the yacht club as a sailing instructor. She stayed in Gladys’s apartment downstairs, and she and I were able to catch up on some of what we missed over the past twenty years.

But let me reiterate: I never surrendered to regret. My glass is half-full, not half-empty. The way I see it, our separation was only for the
first
twenty years. There is still so much living left to do. Things left to discover and enjoy.

o0o

When Becky finished her doctorate at Oxford, she accepted a position at King’s College in Halifax—only an hour away from us—teaching Classics in the Foundation Year Program. I sometimes smile at the thought that she chose to major in the arts, not science, while my stepdaughter, Marissa, not biologically related to me in any way, is the medical geek. It just goes to show that our children are not carbon copies of us, even if we imagine that is how they will turn out. They have their own souls; they choose their own paths.

Becky is happy and fulfilled in her work. She visits often, and last year, she met a wonderful man who owns a winery in the valley. They just got engaged, so Ryan and I have our fingers crossed that in time, when Marissa comes home, we’ll be blessed with a house full of grandchildren.

As for my father, I never saw him again, though he did leave one voicemail on my phone: ‘I did you a favor, and you know it. And I did that kid a favor. You should be thanking me.’

Ryan and I, together with the Moore’s, were considering our options about charging him with fraud, when he died of a heart attack. It happened about a month after I was reunited with Becky. His neighbor called to tell me that he collapsed in his kitchen. He was alone at the time.

Do I feel guilty about the nasty voicemail I left? Sometimes, yes. I wonder what might have occurred if I’d been less confrontational. Maybe he would have expressed some remorse. I will never know, however, so that is something I must live with.

I will finish now with this thought: Sometimes life is cruel, and it can seem pointless and tragic. But occasionally—surprisingly—certain hardships can lead you down a new path you never dreamed possible.

Maybe that new path was your destiny all along. And when you look back, you do so with acceptance, forgiveness, and peace.

I hope you find the path you are meant to be on. If you haven’t yet, it may be just over the next rise.

Or if you have found it, I hope it is everything you dreamed it would be.

o0o

Dear Reader,

Thank you for taking the time to read this book, the second installment in my
Color of Heaven
series. I hope you enjoyed Kate and Ryan’s story.

At the time this novel is being re-issued, I am gearing up for the release of book seven, THE COLOR OF THE SEASON, which opens with Carla Matthews putting an end to her relationship with Boston police officer Josh Wallace. The story then follows the strange and unlikely events in his life from that day forward, after he is shot in the line of duty. It is available for
purchase
now.

There is also a book trailer video available for your viewing pleasure on YouTube. I hope you'll check it out.
Watch it here.
 

If this is your first time reading a novel from this series and you enjoyed it, I encourage you to start at the beginning and read the other books in order. (Read on for a complete list of the titles.) There are many recurring characters, and the theme of this book is a constant thread throughout: that real life magic exists and touches us all, and though life is sometimes difficult, there is always a light somewhere ahead of us, or a second wind on the horizon that might turn things around.

If you’re interested in learning more about some of the plot elements in this novel, I invite you to visit my
website book page
and click on THE COLOR OF DESTINY. I provide a “Behind the Book” section devoted to my research and inspirations.

And would you like to know when my next book is available? If so, please sign up for my
mailing list
on my website home page so I can keep you informed about upcoming releases. My subscribers are always first to learn about what’s coming next, and they are first to see new cover art which I reveal in my newsletters, delivered straight to their email inboxes. I also offer an autographed print book from my extensive backlist to one lucky entrant each month on my website
contest page
.

You can also like my
Facebook page
or follow me on Twitter at
@JulianneMacLean
.

Thank you again for taking the time to read THE COLOR OF DESTINY, and if you enjoyed it, I hope you’ll leave a review at your favorite online retailer or book lovers’ website to help others discover this novel.

Read on for a Book Club Discussion Guide, and as always…

Happy Reading!

—Julianne

Questions for Discussion

1. In the Prologue, Kate says ‘I’ve often wondered if a person’s life follows a path that is laid out long before he or she ever takes a first step. Or are we in control of what happens to us?’ What do you believe is the answer to this question, and how much control did Kate have over her fate in the end?