The Collected Joe Abercrombie (175 page)

Logen lifted up his face so the torchlight fell across it. Better to look a man in the eye, and let him see you, and show him you feel no fear. That was the way his father had taught him. ‘I don’t know. Do you?’

‘Where did you come over from? Whitesides’ crew, is it?’

‘No. I been working alone.’

‘Alone? Well, now. Seems like I recognise—’ The old boy’s eyes opened up wide, and his jaw sagged open, and his face went white as cut chalk. ‘By all the fucking dead,’ he whispered, taking a stumbling step back. ‘It’s the Bloody-Nine!’

Maybe Logen had been hoping no one would know him. That they’d all have forgotten. That they’d have new things to worry them, and he’d be just a man like any other. But now he saw that look on the old boy’s face – that shitting-himself look, and it was clear enough how it would be. Just the way it used to be. And the worst of it was, now that Logen was recognised, and he saw that fear, and that horror, and that respect, he wasn’t sure that he didn’t like seeing it. He’d earned it, hadn’t he? After all, facts are facts.

He was the Bloody-Nine.

The lad didn’t quite get it yet. ‘Having a joke on me are yer? You’ll be telling me it’s Bethod his self come over next, eh?’ But no one laughed, and Logen lifted his hand up and stared through the gap where his middle finger used to be. The lad looked from that stump, to the trembling old man and back.

‘Shit,’ he croaked.

‘Where’s your chief, boy?’ Logen’s own voice scared him. Flat, and dead, and cold as the winter.

‘He’s . . . he’s . . .’ The lad raised a quivering finger to point towards the fires.

‘Well then. Guess I’ll sniff him out myself.’ The two of them edged out of Logen’s way. He didn’t exactly smile as he passed. More he drew his lips back to show them his teeth. There was a certain reputation to be lived up to, after all. ‘No need to worry,’ he hissed in their faces. ‘I’m on your side, ain’t I?’

No one said a word to him as he walked along behind the Carls, up towards the head of the fire. A couple of them glanced over their shoulders, but nothing more than any newcomer in a camp might get. They’d no idea who he was, yet, but they soon would have. That lad and that old man would be whispering, and the whispers would spread around the fire, as whispers do, and everyone would be watching him.

He started as a great shadow moved beside him, so big he’d taken it for a tree at first. A huge, big man, scratching at his beard, smiling at the fire. Tul Duru. There could be no mistaking the Thunderhead, even in the half-light. Not a man that size. Made Logen wonder afresh how the hell he’d beaten him in the first place.

He felt a strange urge, right then, just to put his head down and walk past, off into the night and never look back. Then he wouldn’t have to be the Bloody-Nine again. It would just have been a fresh lad and an old man, swore they saw a ghost one night. He could’ve gone far away, and started new, and been whoever he wanted. But he’d tried that once already, and it had done him no good. The past was always right behind him, breathing on his neck. It was time to turn around and face it.

‘Alright there, big lad.’ Tul peered at him in the dusk, orange light and black shadow shifting across his big rock of a face, his big rug of a beard.

‘Who . . . hold on . . .’ Logen swallowed. He’d no idea, now he thought about it, what any of them might make of seeing him again. They’d been enemies long before they were friends, after all. Each one of them had fought him. Each one had been keen to kill him, and with good reasons too. Then he’d run off south and left them to the Shanka. What if all he got after a year or more apart was a cold look?

Then Tul grabbed hold of him and folded him in a crushing hug. ‘You’re alive!’ He let go of him long enough to check he had the right man, then hugged him again.

‘Aye, I’m alive,’ wheezed Logen, just enough breath left in him to say it. Seemed he’d get one warm welcome, at least.

Tul was grinning all over his face. ‘Come on.’ And he beckoned Logen after. ‘The lads are going to shit!’

He followed Tul, his heart beating in his mouth, up to the head of the fire, where the chief would sit with his closest Named Men. And there they were, sat around on the ground. Dogman was in the middle, muttering something quiet to Dow. Grim was on the other side, leaning on one elbow, fiddling with the flights on his arrows. It was just like nothing had changed.

‘Got someone here to see you, Dogman,’ said Tul, his voice squeaky from keeping the surprise in.

‘Have you, now?’ Dogman peered up at Logen, but he was hidden in the shadows behind Tul’s great shoulder. ‘Can’t it wait ’til after we’ve eaten?’

‘Do you know, I don’t think it can.’

‘Why? Who is it?’

‘Who is it?’ Tul grabbed Logen’s shoulder and shoved him lurching out into the firelight. ‘It’s only Logen fucking Ninefingers!’ Logen’s boot slid in the mud and he nearly pitched on his arse, had to wave his arms around all over to keep his balance. The talk around the fire all sputtered out in a moment and every face was turned towards him. Two long, frozen rows of them, slack in the shifting light, no sound but the sighing wind and the crackling fire. The Dogman stared up at him as though he was seeing the dead walk, his mouth hanging wider and wider open with every passing moment.

‘I thought you was all killed,’ said Logen as he got his balance back. ‘Guess there’s such a thing as being too realistic.’

Dogman got to his feet, slowly. He held out his hand, and Logen took hold of it.

There was nothing to say. Not for men who’d been through as much as the two of them had together – fighting the Shanka, crossing the mountains, getting through the wars, and after. Years of it. Dogman pressed his hand and Logen slapped his other hand on top of it, and Dogman slapped his other hand on top of that. They grinned at each other, and nodded, and things were back the way they had been. Nothing needed saying.

‘Grim. Good to see you.’

‘Uh,’ grunted Grim, handing him up a mug then looking back to his shafts, just as though Logen had gone for a piss a minute ago and come back a minute later like everyone had expected. Logen had to grin. He’d have hoped for nothing else.

‘That Black Dow hiding down there?’

‘I’d have hidden better if I knew you were coming.’ Dow looked Logen up and down with a grin not entirely welcoming. ‘If it ain’t Ninefingers his self. Thought you said he went over a cliff?’ he barked at Dogman.

‘That’s what I saw.’

‘Oh, I went over.’ Logen remembered the wind in his mouth, the rock and the snow turning around him, the crash as the water crushed his breath out. ‘I went on over and I washed up whole, more or less.’ Dogman made room for him on the stretched-out hides by the fire, and he sat down, and the others sat near him.

Dow was shaking his head. ‘You always was a lucky bastard when it came to staying alive. I should’ve known you’d turn up.’

‘I thought the Flatheads had got you all sure,’ said Logen. ‘How d’you get out of there?’

‘Threetrees got us out,’ said Dogman.

Tul nodded. ‘Led us out and over the mountains, and hunted through the North, and all the way down into Angland.’

‘Squabbling all the way like a bunch of old women, no doubt?’ Dogman grinned across at Dow. ‘There was some moaning on the trail.’

‘Where’s Threetrees now, then?’ Logen was looking forward to having a word with that old boy.

‘Dead,’ said Grim.

Logen winced. He’d guessed that might be the way, since Dogman was in charge. Tul nodded his big head. ‘Died fighting. Leading a charge, into the Shanka. Died fighting that thing. That Feared.’

‘Bastard fucking thing.’ And Dow hawked some spit into the mud.

‘What about Forley?’

‘Dead n’all,’ barked Dow. ‘He went into Carleon, to warn Bethod that the Shanka were coming over the mountains. Calder had him killed, just for the sport of it. Bastard!’ And he spat again. He’d always been a great one for spitting, had Dow.

‘Dead.’ Logen shook his head. Forley dead, and Threetrees dead, it was a damn shame. But it wasn’t so long since he thought the whole lot of them were back in the mud, so four still going was quite the bonus, in a way. ‘Well. Good men both. The best, and died well, by the sound of it. As well as men can, anyway.’

‘Aye,’ said Tul, lifting up a mug. ‘As well as you can. Here’s to the dead.’

They all drank in silence, and Logen smacked his lips at the taste of beer. Too long away. ‘So, a year gone by,’ grunted Dow. ‘We done some killing, and we walked a damn long way, and we fought in a bastard of a battle. We lost two men and we got us a new chief. What the hell you been up to, Ninefingers?’

‘Well . . . that there is some kind of a tale.’ Logen wondered what kind, exactly, and found he wasn’t sure. ‘I thought the Shanka got you all, since life’s taught me to expect the worst, so I went south, and I fell in with this wizard. I went a sort of journey with him, across the sea and far away, to find some kind of a thing, which when we got there . . . weren’t there.’ It all sounded more than a bit mad now he said it.

‘What kind of a thing?’ asked Tul, his face all screwed up with puzzlement.

‘Do you know what?’ Logen sucked at his teeth, tasting of drink. ‘I can’t say that I really know.’ They all looked at each other as if they never heard such a damn-fool story, and Logen had to admit they probably hadn’t. ‘Still, it hardly matters now. Turns out life ain’t quite the bastard I took it for.’ And he gave Tul a friendly clap on the back.

The Dogman puffed out his cheeks. ‘Well, we’re glad you’re back, anyway. Guess you’ll be taking your place again now, eh?’

‘My place?’

‘You’ll be taking over, no? I mean to say, you were chief.’

‘Used to be, maybe, but I’ve no plans to go back to it. Seems as if these lads are happy enough with things the way they are.’

‘But you know a sight more than me about leading men—’

‘I don’t know that’s a fact. Me being in charge never worked out too well for anyone, now did it? Not for us, not for those who fought with us, not for them we fought against.’ Logen hunched his shoulders at the memories. ‘I’ll put my word in, if you want it, but I’d sooner follow you. I did my time, and it wasn’t a good one.’

Dogman looked like he’d been hoping for a different outcome. ‘Well . . . if you’re sure . . .’

‘I’m sure.’ And Logen slapped him on the shoulder. ‘Not easy, is it, being chief?’

‘No,’ grumbled Dogman. ‘It bloody ain’t.’

‘Besides, I reckon a lot of these lads have been on the other side of an argument with me before, and they’re not altogether pleased to see me.’ Logen looked down the fire at the hard faces, heard the mutterings with his name in them, too quiet to tell the matter for sure, but he could guess that it wasn’t complimentary.

‘They’ll be glad enough to have you alongside ’em when the fighting starts, don’t worry about that.’

‘Maybe.’ Seemed an awful shame that he’d have to set to killing before folk would give him so much as a nod. Sharp looks came at him from out the dark, flicking away when he looked back. There was only one man, more or less, who met his eye. A big lad with long hair, halfway down the fire.

‘Who’s that?’ asked Logen.

‘Who’s what?’

‘That lad down there staring at me.’

‘That there is Shivers.’ Dogman sucked at his pointed teeth. ‘He’s got a lot of bones, Shivers. Fought with us a few times now, and he does it damn well. First of all I’ll tell you he’s a good man and we owe him. Then I ought to mention that he’s Rattleneck’s son.’

Logen felt a wave of sickness. ‘He’s what?’

‘His other son.’

‘The boy?’

‘Long time ago now, all that. Boys grow up.’

A long time ago, maybe, but nothing was forgotten. Logen could see that straight away. Nothing was ever forgotten, up here in the North, and he should’ve known better than to think it might be. ‘I should say something to him. If we have to fight together . . . I should say something.’

Dogman winced. ‘Might be better that you don’t. Some wounds are best not picked at. Eat, and talk to him in the morning. Everything sounds fairer in the daylight. That or you can decide against it.’

‘Uh,’ grunted Grim.

Logen stood up. ‘You’re right, most likely, but it’s better to do it—’

‘Than to live with the fear of it.’ Dogman nodded into the fire. ‘You been missed, Logen, and that’s a fact.’

‘You too, Dogman. You too.’

He walked down through the darkness, smelly with smoke and meat and men, along behind the Carls sitting at the fire. He felt them hunching their shoulders, muttering as he passed. He knew what they were thinking. The Bloody-Nine, right behind me, and there’s no worse man in the world to have your back to. He could see Shivers watching him all the way, one eye cold through his long hair, lips pressed together in a hard line. He had a knife out for eating, but just as good for stabbing a man. Logen watched the firelight gleaming on its edge as he squatted down beside him.

‘So you’re the Bloody-Nine.’

Logen grimaced. ‘Aye. I reckon.’

Shivers nodded, still staring at him. ‘This is what the Bloody-Nine looks like.’

‘Hope you’re not disappointed.’