The Cogan Legend (27 page)

Still shocked by the reception downtown and by the neighbor's accusations, Ann grew angry at the woman's obvious unwillingness to let her in. “Carrie, I need to talk to you.  May I please come in?”

Anger tightened Mrs. Miller's lips. “I don't think that's necessary.  What can you do for Rachel now? I wish to God I had forbid her to go along with you and your selfish schemes!”

“Selfish?” Ann felt as if Mrs. Miller had slapped her.  

“Can you deny it?” Rachel's mother spoke as one who had been waiting for Ann's approach. “There's no way you can deny that it is your fault my Rachel is dead.  She was happy before you came along, before you enticed her with your money and fancy living.”  Her words became louder, more strident. “Your money changed her.  She wanted what you have and you took her away.  My little girl is dead because she listened to you.  I begged her not to go, but she didn't listen to me.  She and Tom wanted the filthy money your father could spew out.  Now she's gone!”  Her voice dropped from a shout to a growl.  “I don't want you here; just go away and never come back.”  Then Mrs. Miller stepped back and slammed the door.

The neighbors cheered.

Shocked, Ann didn't say a word and hurried down the sidewalk to the coach.   “Take me home.”  Her head was spinning.  She was shaken and hurt with those accusations.  When she got to the house, she ran in and up the steps to her room.  The secret dread of her heart had been confirmed by a neighbor's contempt and Mrs. Miller's angry words.  It was indeed her fault, and she'd known it!  She couldn't hide from it; it was all around town. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she fell across her bed and sobbed.

Charles was at the dinner table waiting for Ann.  When she finally entered the room, he immediately knew she was upset. “Ann, you look as though you've been crying.  What's wrong?”

Ann shook her head.  “I'm not hungry, father.  May I return to my room?”

“Are you sure you don't want to tell me about it?”

“No, I'd rather not Father,” Ann replied.  Her pale face seemed drained and hollow. The stiffening of her back told Charles it was better to let her go and ask her about it later.  He nodded his assent.  When he heard the door to her room close, he beckoned Mae.  “Would you ask Lewey to come here?”  

Charles confronted his long time driver and friend when Lewey entered the room.  “What happened today?  Ann looks a mess.”

“I'm not exactly sure, but after I took you to work Ann wanted to go downtown.  She told me she needed to get out of the house.  I took her to the dress shop where Rachel worked.  She came storming out of there, mad as a hornet.  I don't know why.  Then she told me to take her to Rachel's house to see Carrie.  She was knocking on the door when a neighbor started yelling at her, accusing her of lots of things and that she was responsible for Rachel's death.  Then Mrs. Miller came out.  I heard her tell Ann that it was her fault Rachel was dead, and she never wanted to see her again.  I brought her home, she rushed in the house and I haven't seen her since.”

Charles looked down at the table. “I thought this might happen.  I sensed bitterness from Carrie at the funeral, but she didn't say anything then.  Thank you, Lewey.”

Charles went to his study and had a brandy.  He was there for several hours pondering what to do.  Prior to the recent confrontations, he felt Ann had recovered from the tragedy and had a positive outlook on her future.  Now, she was more depressed than ever, and he didn't know what to do.

A week went by and at night Charles could hear the faint sounds of Ann crying in her bedroom.  A dozen times he knocked on her door, begging her to talk to him but she always refused.  She barely ate, and Mae would often bring trays of food down the stairs and shake her head in pity and sorrow.

 Ann had no desire for conversation.  When she could be coaxed from her room, she was quiet and uncommunicative. Charles noticed that Ann had lost weight, and her appearance was rough; apparently she no longer cared.

Finally, Charles approached Ann with a different question.  “Have you received any letters from Phillip lately?”

The mention of Phillip's name brought a response. “No, not yet.”

“I'm sure you'll get one soon.  I suspect he's busy since he returned to the fort.”

“The way I feel right now, I haven't given much thought to Phillip, or marriage, or the future.”

Sensing an opening, Charles said, “Tell me what has you so withdrawn and depressed.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Please, Ann.  I hate seeing you like this.  I can't stand the thought of you slipping away from me, and you won't allow me to help you.”

Ann burst into tears. After what seemed an eternity to her father, she regained some composure and the words came pouring out.  “Remember, I shared a dream with you and in that dream Rachel forgave me for what happened.  I only cared about my own guilt, and all this time I never thought how her death affected everyone else in her life.  A few days ago, I was unaware how selfish I've been until Carrie and her neighbor confronted me about Rachel.  It's all my fault Rachel is dead.”

“Ann, there are many reasons why Rachel is dead.  I blame myself for her death.  If I wouldn't have allowed you to go running around the countryside and made you stay at the lodge, Rachel would still be here.”

“Father, I only thought of myself and how bored I would be.  I feel so guilty.  Please excuse me; I don't want to talk about it anymore.”

“We can't bring her back by blaming ourselves.  Mary said it best; ‘The only ones to blame are the ones that murdered her.'
 
Now, I have something I want to tell you.  These past few weeks have been lonely for me.  I have written several letters to Mary and in so doing I must confess that I miss her.  I'm anxious to get back to the lodge.  I've discussed it with Ted, and I have all the confidence in him to run the business in my absence.  It could be months until we return to Philadelphia.”  

As long as the conversation was on something besides herself, Ann seemed willing to listen.  When her father finished, Ann agreed.  “Father, I don't want to stay here.  I want to go to the lodge with you.”

Relieved that Ann finally expressed some feelings, he said, “I'll write to Mary tonight and let her know when to expect us.”

Ann continued to blame herself for Rachel's death.  She had no interest in leaving the house, writing letters to Phillip, or discussing anything with her father.  Charles was deeply concerned about his daughter and desperately hoped her condition would improve before they made the journey to the lodge.

In what he felt was an attempt to help Ann, Charles decided to have a going away dinner the weekend before the trip.  He invited Ted and his wife Marie, and a few close friends and business associates.  Charles felt confident in his relationship with Mary and intended to announce at the gathering that he was going to propose to her.  

 Before dinner was served, Charles summoned everyone to the music room.  “Ann, will you please play for us?”

“Yes, Ann, please do,” Ted added.  

Reluctantly, she sat down at the piano and began to play.  After a few songs, she decided to stop.   

“Thank you, Ann. That was beautiful.  You haven't lost your ear for music.”  

Charles then proceeded with his announcement.  “As you know, I have a hunting lodge up north that I travel to often.  I enjoy the outdoors and the quiet away from the city.  Over the years I've met many people in the area including a particular woman, Mary Lentz, whom I've known for several years.  On this last trip with Ann and Rachel, Mary and I became very close.  I must admit, I never thought there would be another woman in my life.  Since the tragedy with Rachel, and my return to Philadelphia, we've been writing to each other.  I must confess, I've fallen in love with her, and I think she loves me too.   I've kept that secret even from Ann.   I'm going to ask her to be my wife, if Mary will have me.”

There was silence for several seconds; then Ted raised his glass, “Let's propose a toast to Charles and Mary.”  

The announcement actually brought a smile to Ann's face.  “Father, I think it's wonderful.   I know Mary will say yes.”  

The evening remained joyful as the guests discussed the future changes in the Fairchild home.  Charles was relieved to see Ann smile and spend the evening with his guests.

Preparation for the trip made the days pass quickly.  Charles spent his time at work taking care of matters prior to their departure.  Ann spent her days packing for a long stay.  Thoughts of Phillip returned, and she was anxious to see him again.  Ann finally decided to write a letter and share her misery and inform him of their return to the lodge.

The day before they left Ann received a letter from Phillip.  She immediately read through it and went to find her father.  “Father, I just received a letter from Phillip.  It has the news you've been waiting for.”

“Well, Ann, let's hear it.”

“Phillip caught the murderer on the last day of their search.”

Bewildered, Charles asked, “Did he say murderer?  Are you sure it wasn't murderers?  Check your letter again?”

Ann read that portion out loud, ‘
On the last day of our search, we found a hollowed area where Poll Soll had been hiding all the time.  We finally captured the murderer.'  
 

“I'm confused.  I thought Phillip implied they were looking for two men?”  

“I did too, Father, but he stated he'll explain the details of the capture when he sees us at the lodge.”

“Well, I can't wait to hear all about it.”

“Phillip sent all the paperwork to Harrisburg requesting a judge and trial date.”

“That's the news I wanted to hear before we leave.  We could be back in Philadelphia sooner than I thought.”

“I don't care if I ever return to Philadelphia again.”

“Ann, you don't mean that.  This is your home.”

“I do mean it.  I've come to hate this city.”

With that comment, Charles wasn't sure Ann would ever be herself again.  

“Father, what time will we begin our trip tomorrow?”

“We want to get to Mrs. Webber's inn by tomorrow evening, so I want to leave by eight o'clock.  We best turn in early tonight.”

Lewey was up at daybreak to eat breakfast and prepare the coach and team for the trip.  Charles tapped on Ann's door as he made his way downstairs.  An hour later, Lewey pulled the coach around to the entrance and started loading the trunks and luggage.

When Ann walked out the front door, she was surprised.  “Father, you didn't tell me you got a new coach.”

“The other coach had too many bad memories.  I wanted this trip to have a fresh start.”

The trip began in silence with Charles' thoughts on his proposal and whether Mary would accept and return to Philadelphia with him.  Ann's only thoughts were on her guilt in Rachel's murder.  

Occasionally, Charles tried to begin conversation, but Ann wasn't responsive.

Late afternoon they arrived at Mrs. Webber's inn.  Once in her room, Ann remembered how Rachel undressed in front of her for the first time and how they couldn't stop laughing.  She laughed to herself as it brought back such fond memories of her friend.

During dinner Ann asked her father, “Will we stay at the same place as on our last trip?”

 “No, we're going to travel a little further.  Since we didn't like that establishment, I've chosen a different inn.”

Ann didn't sleep well; Mrs. Miller's hurtful words flowed through her mind all night.  The trip began early in the morning and like the previous day; they both sat in silence.

After several hours Charles desperately wanted to strike up a conversation with his daughter and wondered if this was the proper time to discuss her future.  He was torn between sending Ann to finishing school or allowing her to marry Phillip.  “Ann, in addition to the prospect of my marriage to Mary, I've been giving much thought about your future.   In your current state of mind, I'm not sure marrying Phillip would be a good idea.  Perhaps it would be best for you to return to school.”  

The topic suddenly distressed Ann. “For weeks I've been thinking about Rachel's murder and my guilt.   I even went as far to think that Rachel had forgiven me, but Carrie's outburst forced me to examine myself. I admit, I've been selfish in many ways, but Phillip is the one positive in my life.  He loves me, and his patience and love helped me survive that first week after Rachel's death.”

“I have no doubt that Phillip is in love with you, but at this time you're not in any condition to accept a marriage proposal.”   

Angered by these words, she finally confronted her father.  “I'm going to tell you something that may pain you, and you may not want to hear.  If you had allowed me to have friends and even callers, I probably would never have met Phillip.
 
I wouldn't have had to sneak out against your wishes.  Rachel warned me plenty of times not to disobey my father's wishes, but I didn't take her advice.  I was rebelling against you and had no feelings for any of those men.  I probably would've gone to school without your urging.”

Charles was stunned at her outburst, and he sat quiet for several moments.  His first thoughts were to reprimand her, but he realized she was right.  “I never looked at it from your point of view.  I only felt guilt for allowing you and Rachel to run around the countryside, but I just now recognize if I had allowed you friends and callers, there would've been no need for punishment, and Rachel would be alive.”  

“Father, I'm sorry if I've hurt you.”

“You're just like your mother; she always put things in perspective, and always made it logical and sensible. I'm glad we've had this discussion.”