The Chronicles of Barsetshire (60 page)

Here to her great delight she found Harry Greenacre ready mounted, with his pole in his hand, and a lot of comrades standing round him, encouraging him to the assault. She stood at a little distance and nodded to him in token of her good pleasure.

“Shall I begin, ma’am?” said Harry, fingering his long staff in a rather awkward way, while his horse moved uneasily beneath him, not accustomed to a rider armed with such a weapon.

“Yes, yes,” said Miss Thorne, standing triumphant as the queen of beauty on an inverted tub which some chance had brought thither from the farmyard.

“Here goes then,” said Harry as he wheeled his horse round to get the necessary momentum of a sharp gallop. The quintain post stood right before him, and the square board at which he was to tilt was fairly in his way. If he hit that duly in the middle, and maintained his pace as he did so, it was calculated that he would be carried out of reach of the flour bag, which, suspended at the other end of the cross-bar on the post, would swing round when the board was struck. It was also calculated that if the rider did not maintain his pace, he would get a blow from the flour bag just at the back of his head, and bear about him the signs of his awkwardness to the great amusement of the lookers-on.

Harry Greenacre did not object to being powdered with flour in the service of his mistress, and therefore gallantly touched his steed with his spur, having laid his lance in rest to the best of his ability. But his ability in this respect was not great, and his appurtenances probably not very good; consequently, he struck his horse with his pole unintentionally on the side of the head as he started. The animal swerved and shied and galloped off wide of the quintain. Harry, well-accustomed to manage a horse, but not to do so with a twelve-foot rod on his arm, lowered his right hand to the bridle, and thus the end of the lance came to the ground and got between the legs of the steed. Down came rider and steed and staff. Young Greenacre was thrown some six feet over the horse’s head, and poor Miss Thorne almost fell off her tub in a swoon.

“Oh, gracious, he’s killed,” shrieked a woman who was near him when he fell.

“The Lord be good to him! His poor mother, his poor mother!” said another.

“Well, drat them dangerous plays all the world over,” said an old crone.

“He has broke his neck sure enough, if ever man did,” said a fourth.

Poor Miss Thorne. She heard all this and yet did not quite swoon. She made her way through the crowd as best she could, sick herself almost to death. Oh, his mother—his poor mother! How could she ever forgive herself. The agony of that moment was terrific. She could hardly get to the place where the poor lad was lying, as three or four men in front were about the horse, which had risen with some difficulty, but at last she found herself close to the young farmer.

“Has he marked himself? For heaven’s sake tell me that: has he marked his knees?” said Harry, slowly rising and rubbing his left shoulder with his right hand and thinking only of his horse’s legs. Miss Thorne soon found that he had not broken his neck, nor any of his bones, nor been injured in any essential way. But from that time forth she never instigated anyone to ride at a quintain.

Eleanor left Dr. Stanhope as soon as she could do so civilly, and went in quest of her father, whom she found on the lawn in company with Mr. Arabin. She was not sorry to find them together. She was anxious to disabuse at any rate her father’s mind as to this report which had got abroad respecting her, and would have been well pleased to have been able to do the same with regard to Mr. Arabin. She put her own through her father’s arm, coming up behind his back, and then tendered her hand also to the vicar of St. Ewold’s.

“And how did you come?” said Mr. Harding, when the first greeting was over.

“The Stanhopes brought me,” said she; “their carriage was obliged to come twice, and has now gone back for the signora.” As she spoke she caught Mr. Arabin’s eye and saw that he was looking pointedly at her with a severe expression. She understood at once the accusation contained in his glance. It said as plainly as an eye could speak, “Yes, you came with the Stanhopes, but you did so in order that you might be in company with Mr. Slope.”

“Our party,” said she, still addressing her father, “consisted of the doctor and Charlotte Stanhope, myself, and Mr. Slope.” As she mentioned the last name she felt her father’s arm quiver slightly beneath her touch. At the same moment Mr. Arabin turned away from them and, joining his hands behind his back, strolled slowly away by one of the paths.

“Papa,” said she, “it was impossible to help coming in the same carriage with Mr. Slope; it was quite impossible. I had promised to come with them before I dreamt of his coming, and afterwards I could not get out of it without explaining and giving rise to talk. You weren’t at home, you know. I couldn’t possibly help it.” She said all this so quickly that by the time her apology was spoken she was quite out of breath.

“I don’t know why you should have wished to help it, my dear,” said her father.

“Yes, Papa, you do. You must know, you do know all the things they said at Plumstead. I am sure you do. You know all the archdeacon said. How unjust he was; and Mr. Arabin too. He’s a horrid man, a horrid odious man, but—”

“Who is an odious man, my dear? Mr. Arabin?”

“No; but Mr. Slope. You know I mean Mr. Slope. He’s the most odious man I ever met in my life, and it was most unfortunate my having to come here in the same carriage with him. But how could I help it?”

A great weight began to move itself off Mr. Harding’s mind. So, after all, the archdeacon with all his wisdom, and Mrs. Grantly with all her tact, and Mr. Arabin with all his talent, were in the wrong. His own child, his Eleanor, the daughter of whom he was so proud, was not to become the wife of a Mr. Slope. He had been about to give his sanction to the marriage, so certified had he been of the fact, and now he learnt that this imputed lover of Eleanor’s was at any rate as much disliked by her as by anyone of the family. Mr. Harding, however, was by no means sufficiently a man of the world to conceal the blunder he had made. He could not pretend that he had entertained no suspicion; he could not make believe that he had never joined the archdeacon in his surmises. He was greatly surprised, and gratified beyond measure, and he could not help showing that such was the case.

“My darling girl,” said he, “I am so delighted, so overjoyed. My own child; you have taken such a weight off my mind.”

“But surely, Papa,
you
didn’t think—”

“I didn’t know what to think, my dear. The archdeacon told me that—”

“The archdeacon!” said Eleanor, her face lighting up with passion. “A man like the archdeacon might, one would think, be better employed than in traducing his sister-in-law and creating bitterness between a father and his daughter!”

“He didn’t mean to do that, Eleanor.”

“What did he mean then? Why did he interfere with me and fill your mind with such falsehood?”

“Never mind it now, my child; never mind it now. We shall all know you better now.”

“Oh, Papa, that you should have thought it! That you should have suspected me!”

“I don’t know what you mean by suspicion, Eleanor. There would be nothing disgraceful, you know, nothing wrong in such a marriage. Nothing that could have justified my interfering as your father.” And Mr. Harding would have proceeded in his own defence to make out that Mr. Slope after all was a very good sort of man, and a very fitting second husband for a young widow, had he not been interrupted by Eleanor’s greater energy.

“It would be disgraceful,” said she; “it would be wrong; it would be abominable. Could I do such a horrid thing, I should expect no one to speak to me. Ugh—” and she shuddered as she thought of the matrimonial torch which her friends had been so ready to light on her behalf. “I don’t wonder at Dr. Grantly; I don’t wonder at Susan; but, oh, Papa, I do wonder at you. How could you, how could you believe it?” Poor Eleanor, as she thought of her father’s defalcation, could resist her tears no longer, and was forced to cover her face with her handkerchief.

The place was not very opportune for her grief. They were walking through the shrubberies, and there were many people near them. Poor Mr. Harding stammered out his excuse as best he could, and Eleanor with an effort controlled her tears, and returned her handkerchief to her pocket. She did not find it difficult to forgive her father, nor could she altogether refuse to join him in the returning gaiety of spirit to which her present avowal gave rise. It was such a load off his heart to think that he should not be called on to welcome Mr. Slope as his son-in-law. It was such a relief to him to find that his daughter’s feelings and his own were now, as they ever had been, in unison. He had been so unhappy for the last six weeks about this wretched Mr. Slope! He was so indifferent as to the loss of the hospital, so thankful for the recovery of his daughter, that, strong as was the ground for Eleanor’s anger, she could not find it in her heart to be long angry with him.

“Dear Papa,” she said, hanging closely to his arm, “never suspect me again: promise me that you never will. Whatever I do you may be sure I shall tell you first; you may be sure I shall consult you.”

And Mr. Harding did promise, and owned his sin, and promised again. And so, while he promised amendment and she uttered forgiveness, they returned together to the drawing-room windows.

And what had Eleanor meant when she declared that
whatever she did
, she would tell her father first? What was she thinking of doing?

So ended the first act of the melodrama which Eleanor was called on to perform this day at Ullathorne.

CHAPTER 3

The Signora Neroni, the Countess De Courcy, and Mrs. Proudie Meet Each Other at Ullathorne

And now there were new arrivals. Just as Eleanor reached the drawing-room the signora was being wheeled into it. She had been brought out of the carriage into the dining-room and there placed on a sofa, and was now in the act of entering the other room, by the joint aid of her brother and sister, Mr. Arabin, and two servants in livery. She was all in her glory, and looked so pathetically happy, so full of affliction and grace, was so beautiful, so pitiable, and so charming that it was almost impossible not to be glad she was there.

Miss Thorne was unaffectedly glad to welcome her. In fact, the signora was a sort of lion; and though there was no drop of the Leohunter blood in Miss Thorne’s veins, she nevertheless did like to see attractive people at her house. The signora was attractive, and on her first settlement in the dining-room she had whispered two or three soft feminine words into Miss Thorne’s ear which, at the moment, had quite touched that lady’s heart.

“Oh, Miss Thorne; where is Miss Thorne?” she said as soon as her attendants had placed her in her position just before one of the windows, from whence she could see all that was going on upon the lawn. “How am I to thank you for permitting a creature like me to be here? But if you knew the pleasure you give me, I am sure you would excuse the trouble I bring with me.” And as she spoke she squeezed the spinster’s little hand between her own.

“We are delighted to see you here,” said Miss Thorne; “you give us no trouble at all, and we think it a great favour conferred by you to come and see us—don’t we, Wilfred?”

“A very great favour indeed,” said Mr. Thorne with a gallant bow but of a somewhat less cordial welcome than that conceded by his sister. Mr. Thorne had heard perhaps more of the antecedents of his guest than his sister had done, and had not as yet undergone the power of the signora’s charms.

But while the mother of the last of the Neros was thus in her full splendour, with crowds of people gazing at her and the
élite
of the company standing round her couch, her glory was paled by the arrival of the Countess De Courcy. Miss Thorne had now been waiting three hours for the countess, and could not therefore but show very evident gratification when the arrival at last took place. She and her brother of course went off to welcome the titled grandees, and with them, alas, went many of the signora’s admirers.

“Oh, Mr. Thorne,” said the countess, while in the act of being disrobed of her fur cloaks and rerobed in her gauze shawls, “what dreadful roads you have; perfectly frightful.”

It happened that Mr. Thorne was way-warden for the district and, not liking the attack, began to excuse his roads.

“Oh, yes, indeed they are,” said the countess not minding him in the least; “perfectly dreadful—are they not, Margaretta? Why, my dear Miss Thorne, we left Courcy Castle just at eleven; it was only just past eleven, was it not, George? And—”

“Just past one I think you mean,” said the Honourable George, turning from the group and eyeing the signora through his glass. The signora gave him back his own, as the saying is, and more with it, so that the young nobleman was forced to avert his glance and drop his glass.

“I say, Thorne,” whispered he, “who the deuce is that on the sofa?”

“Dr. Stanhope’s daughter,” whispered back Mr. Thorne. “Signora Neroni, she calls herself.”

“Whew-ew-ew!” whistled the Honourable George. “The devil she is. I have heard no end of stories about that filly. You must positively introduce me, Thorne; you positively must.”

Mr. Thorne, who was respectability itself, did not quite like having a guest about whom the Honourable George De Courcy had heard no end of stories, but he couldn’t help himself. He merely resolved that before he went to bed he would let his sister know somewhat of the history of the lady she was so willing to welcome. The innocence of Miss Thorne at her time of life was perfectly charming, but even innocence may be dangerous.

“George may say what he likes,” continued the countess, urging her excuses to Miss Thorne; “I am sure we were past the castle gate before twelve—weren’t we, Margaretta?”

“Upon my word I don’t know,” said the Lady Margaretta, “for I was half-asleep. But I do know that I was called some time in the middle of the night and was dressing myself before daylight.”

Wise people, when they are in the wrong, always put themselves right by finding fault with the people against whom they have sinned. Lady De Courcy was a wise woman, and therefore, having treated Miss Thorne very badly by staying away till three o’clock, she assumed the offensive and attacked Mr. Thorne’s roads. Her daughter, not less wise, attacked Miss Thorne’s early hours. The art of doing this is among the most precious of those usually cultivated by persons who know how to live. There is no withstanding it. Who can go systematically to work and, having done battle with the primary accusation and settled that, then bring forward a counter-charge and support that also? Life is not long enough for such labours. A man in the right relies easily on his rectitude and therefore goes about unarmed. His very strength is his weakness. A man in the wrong knows that he must look to his weapons; his very weakness is his strength. The one is never prepared for combat, the other is always ready. Therefore it is that in this world the man that is in the wrong almost invariably conquers the man that is in the right, and invariably despises him.

A man must be an idiot or else an angel who, after the age of forty, shall attempt to be just to his neighbours. Many like the Lady Margaretta have learnt their lesson at a much earlier age. But this of course depends on the school in which they have been taught.

Poor Miss Thorne was altogether overcome. She knew very well that she had been ill-treated, and yet she found herself making apologies to Lady De Courcy. To do her ladyship justice, she received them very graciously, and allowed herself, with her train of daughters, to be led towards the lawn.

There were two windows in the drawing-room wide open for the countess to pass through, but she saw that there was a woman on a sofa, at the third window, and that that woman had, as it were, a following attached to her. Her ladyship therefore determined to investigate the woman. The De Courcy’s were hereditarily short-sighted, and had been so for thirty centuries at least. So Lady De Courcy, who when she entered the family had adopted the family habits, did as her son had done before her and, taking her glass to investigate the Signora Neroni, pressed in among the gentlemen who surrounded the couch, and bowed slightly to those whom she chose to honour by her acquaintance.

In order to get to the window she had to pass close to the front of the couch, and as she did so she stared hard at the occupant. The occupant, in return, stared hard at the countess. The countess, who, since her countess-ship commenced, had been accustomed to see all eyes not royal, ducal, or marquesal fall before her own, paused as she went on, raised her eyebrows, and stared even harder than before. But she had now to do with one who cared little for countesses. It was, one may say, impossible for mortal man or woman to abash Madeline Neroni. She opened her large, bright, lustrous eyes wider and wider, till she seemed to be all eyes. She gazed up into the lady’s face, not as though she did it with an effort, but as if she delighted in doing it. She used no glass to assist her effrontery, and needed none. The faintest possible smile of derision played round her mouth, and her nostrils were slightly dilated, as if in sure anticipation of her triumph. And it was sure. The Countess De Courcy, in spite of her thirty centuries and De Courcy Castle, and the fact that Lord De Courcy was grand master of the ponies to the Prince of Wales, had not a chance with her. At first the little circlet of gold wavered in the countess’s hand, then the hand shook, then the circlet fell, the countess’s head tossed itself into the air, and the countess’s feet shambled out to the lawn. She did not, however, go so fast but what she heard the signora’s voice, asking—”Who on earth is that woman, Mr. Slope?”

“That is Lady De Courcy.”

“Oh, ah. I might have supposed so. Ha, ha, ha. Well, that’s as good as a play.”

It was as good as a play to any there who had eyes to observe it and wit to comment on what they observed.

But the Lady De Courcy soon found a congenial spirit on the lawn. There she encountered Mrs. Proudie, and as Mrs. Proudie was not only the wife of a bishop but was also the cousin of an earl, Lady De Courcy considered her to be the fittest companion she was likely to meet in that assemblage. They were accordingly delighted to see each other. Mrs. Proudie by no means despised a countess, and as this countess lived in the county and within a sort of extensive visiting distance of Barchester, she was glad to have this opportunity of ingratiating herself.

“My dear Lady De Courcy, I am so delighted,” said she, looking as little grim as it was in her nature to do. “I hardly expected to see you here. It is such a distance, and then, you know, such a crowd.”

“And such roads, Mrs. Proudie! I really wonder how the people ever get about. But I don’t suppose they ever do.”

“Well, I really don’t know, but I suppose not. The Thornes don’t, I know,” said Mrs. Proudie. “Very nice person, Miss Thorne, isn’t she?”

“Oh, delightful, and so queer; I’ve known her these twenty years. A great pet of mine is dear Miss Thorne. She is so very strange, you know. She always makes me think of the Eskimaux and the Indians. Isn’t her dress quite delightful?”

“Delightful,” said Mrs. Proudie. “I wonder now whether she paints. Did you ever see such colour?”

“Oh, of course,” said Lady De Courcy; “that is, I have no doubt she does. But, Mrs. Proudie, who is that woman on the sofa by the window? Just step this way and you’ll see her, there—” and the countess led her to a spot where she could plainly see the signora’s well-remembered face and figure.

She did not however do so without being equally well seen by the signora. “Look, look,” said that lady to Mr. Slope, who was still standing near to her; “see the high spiritualities and temporalities of the land in league together, and all against poor me. I’ll wager my bracelet, Mr. Slope, against your next sermon that they’ve taken up their position there on purpose to pull me to pieces. Well, I can’t rush to the combat, but I know how to protect myself if the enemy come near me.”

But the enemy knew better. They could gain nothing by contact with the Signora Neroni, and they could abuse her as they pleased at a distance from her on the lawn.

“She’s that horrid Italian woman, Lady De Courcy; you must have heard of her.”

“What Italian woman?” said her ladyship, quite alive to the coming story. “I don’t think I’ve heard of any Italian woman coming into the country. She doesn’t look Italian, either.”

“Oh, you must have heard of her,” said Mrs. Proudie. “No, she’s not absolutely Italian. She is Dr. Stanhope’s daughter—Dr. Stanhope the prebendary—and she calls herself the Signora Neroni.”

“Oh-h-h-h!” exclaimed the countess.

“I was sure you had heard of her,” continued Mrs. Proudie. I don’t know anything about her husband. They do say that some man named Neroni is still alive. I believe she did marry such a man abroad, but I do not at all know who or what he was.

“Ah-h-h-h!” exclaimed the countess, shaking her head with much intelligence, as every additional “h” fell from her lips. “I know all about it now. I have heard George mention her. George knows all about her. George heard about her in Rome.”

“She’s an abominable woman, at any rate,” said Mrs. Proudie.

“Insufferable,” said the countess.

“She made her way into the palace once, before I knew anything about her, and I cannot tell you how dreadfully indecent her conduct was.”

“Was it?” said the delighted countess.

“Insufferable,” said the prelatess.

“But why does she lie on a sofa?” asked Lady De Courcy.

“She has only one leg,” replied Mrs. Proudie.

“Only one leg!” said Lady De Courcy, who felt to a certain degree dissatisfied that the signora was thus incapacitated. “Was she born so?”

“Oh, no,” said Mrs. Proudie—and her ladyship felt some what recomforted by the assurance—”she had two. But that Signor Neroni beat her, I believe, till she was obliged to have one amputated. At any rate, she entirely lost the use of it.”

“Unfortunate creature!” said the countess, who herself knew something of matrimonial trials.

“Yes,” said Mrs. Proudie, “one would pity her in spite of her past bad conduct, if she now knew how to behave herself. But she does not. She is the most insolent creature I ever put my eyes on.”

“Indeed she is,” said Lady De Courcy.

“And her conduct with men is so abominable that she is not fit to be admitted into any lady’s drawing-room.”

“Dear me!” said the countess, becoming again excited, happy and merciless.

“You saw that man standing near her—the clergyman with the red hair?”

“Yes, yes.”

“She has absolutely ruined that man. The bishop—or I should rather take the blame on myself, for it was I—I brought him down from London to Barchester. He is a tolerable preacher, an active young man, and I therefore introduced him to the bishop. That woman, Lady De Courcy, has got hold of him and has so disgraced him that I am forced to require that he shall leave the palace; and I doubt very much whether he won’t lose his gown!”

“Why, what an idiot the man must be!” said the countess.

“You don’t know the intriguing villainy of that woman,” said Mrs. Proudie, remembering her torn flounces.

“But you say she has only got one leg!”

“She is as full of mischief as tho’ she had ten. Look at her eyes, Lady De Courcy. Did you ever see such eyes in a decent woman’s head?”

“Indeed, I never did, Mrs. Proudie.”

“And her effrontery, and her voice! I quite pity her poor father, who is really a good sort of man.”

“Dr. Stanhope, isn’t he?”

“Yes, Dr. Stanhope. He is one of our prebendaries—a good, quiet sort of man himself. But I am surprised that he should let his daughter conduct herself as she does.”