The Christmas Secret (3 page)

As Elizabeth flipped through the pages, she was careful. Some seemed a bit brittle, and the musty odor reminded her that the journal was old and had probably been stuck in the desk for quite a while.

Elizabeth read a few more pages, smiling when she came to a journal entry about a mouse that had gotten into the pantry and eaten the cookies Grandma had made, and frowning when she read how Aunt Lovina and Elizabeth’s mother, who was two years younger than Lovina, had argued about who would wash and who would dry the dishes. Their mother had stepped in and settled the dispute.

Elizabeth sighed. She wished she’d known her mother’s parents, but they’d both died before she was born.

She turned several more pages and continued to read, until she came to an entry dated April 20, 1860. It read:

Elizabeth’s mouth went dry as she stared at the journal entry, trying to piece things together. Raymond Stinner was David’s father. Until now, Elizabeth had no idea he’d courted her mother, much less that she’d been carrying his baby when she married Father. How shocking to learn such a thing about her own mother, whom she’d always held in such high esteem.

But who is that baby?
Elizabeth wondered. Her heart began to race.
Could Mother have had a miscarriage, or do I have a brother or sister I don’t know about?

Anxious to learn more, Elizabeth continued turning the pages in her aunt’s journal, until she found one that read:

Elizabeth swayed unsteadily as the journal slipped from her fingers and dropped to the floor with a thud. If Raymond Stinner was her real father, that meant she was David’s half sister! Stunned, she thought,
No wonder we both have blond hair and blue eyes.

When the truth of it all set in, she covered her mouth and choked on a sob. “Oh, dear Lord, how can this be? Why did You allow such a terrible thing to happen? I can never marry David now!”

As Elizabeth stared into space, her mind racing, the only thing she could see was her dream of being David’s wife and all the wonderful plans they’d made fading further and further away. In a matter of a few minutes, Elizabeth’s world had gone from a future filled with hopes and dreams to an unsettling question:
What now?

I
got busy workin’ and forgot to ask when you first returned to the shop—is your granddaddy okay?” Gus asked David.

David nodded. “He fell off a ladder but wasn’t really hurt. Just got the wind knocked out of him, I guess.”

“Glad to hear he’s all right.”

“Grandpa tries to do too much, and Mother worries too much.”

Gus chuckled. “Guess that’s what women do—worry about those they love.”

“I suppose Elizabeth will worry about me after we’re married.” David reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the gold timepiece that had belonged to his father. “Speaking of Elizabeth, I think I’ll head over to the cabin now and see how she’s doing.”

Gus’s forehead wrinkled. “I thought you were gonna work in the shop until the end of the day.”

“I can’t concentrate on work right now, and I’m sure you can manage on your own for a while.”

Gus shrugged. “It’s your right to do whatever you want, ’cause you’re the boss.”

David grinned and thumped the man’s shoulder. “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning.”

When David mounted his horse and guided him in the direction of the cabin, he began to whistle. He could hardly wait to see his bride-to-be and tell her once more how much he loved her.

Elizabeth paced between the deacon bench and the fireplace, pondering what she should do about her aunt’s journal. She couldn’t let David or her father see it. Something like this would bring shame on both of their families. She would need to call off the wedding, of course, and the sooner the better. If she just knew what to say to David. This was the most difficult thing she had ever been faced with.

She glanced at her satchel full of cleaning supplies. She would put the journal in there for now until she was able to dispose of it properly.

A knock sounded on the cabin door, causing Elizabeth to jump.

“Who is it?” she called, wondering if Helen had returned to help her finish cleaning.

“It’s me, David.”

Elizabeth’s heart pounded so hard she feared her chest would explode. She had to let David in but wasn’t ready to call off the wedding or offer an explanation. How could she, when she was still trying to grasp this horrible secret that, less than an hour ago, she hadn’t even known existed? She’d have to pretend all was well until she figured out the best way to deal with things.

She whispered a prayer for courage, swiped at the tears on her cheeks, and opened the door. “I—I wasn’t sure I’d see you today. I figured you’d be hard at work,” she said, unable to make eye contact with David.

He stepped into the room and shut the door. “I said I’d try to come by, remember?”

“Yes, but I …” She forced herself to look up at him.

“Is everything all right? Your face looks red, and your eyes are puffy. Have you been crying?” David moved closer and held out his arms. His piercing blue eyes seemed to bore right through her.

Elizabeth wished only to be held in the comfort of his embrace, and have this black cloud of uncertainty go away, but she quickly stepped back. “I–I’m fine. Just hot and sweaty from working so hard, and I—I may have rubbed my eyes when I was dusting.”

“I’m sorry you had to work so hard. Where’s Helen, anyway? I thought she was going to help you clean the cabin today.”

“She was here earlier—until her father came by and said her mother wasn’t feeling well. Helen left with him.”

“I’m sorry to hear her mother’s ill. Sure hope it’s nothing serious.”

“Me, too.” Elizabeth shivered and moved to stand in front of the fireplace, feeling the need of its warmth.

David stepped up beside Elizabeth and, turning her to face him, pressed his forehead to hers.

Her throat tightened.
He’s my brother. He’s my brother,
she reminded herself. “David, I …”

He pulled back slightly, and his mustache tickled as he brushed a kiss across her forehead. “It won’t be long now, and you’ll be my wife. I can hardly wait for Christmas Eve.”

Cheeks burning and heart pounding, Elizabeth moved quickly away, busying herself as she began to dust the desk where she’d discovered the journal. She’d already dusted it thoroughly but needed to put some distance between her and David.

“It’s obvious that there’s still some work to be done here, so what would you like me to do?” David asked.

Silence filled the room.
Go home. Leave me alone so I can think.

“Elizabeth, did you hear what I said?” David touched her arm.

She turned to face him but fixed her attention on the buttons of his jacket, unable to look at his handsome face. “I–I’ve developed a headache, and my stomach is upset. I think I’d better go home and lie down. Besides, it’s not proper for us to be here alone together without a chaperone.”

“You’re right, of course.” He retrieved her shawl from the back of the wooden bench and placed it around her shoulders. “I’ll follow you home to make sure you get there safely.”

“There’s no need for that. I’ll be fine.” Elizabeth grabbed her satchel and hurried out the door.

She was about to climb into her buckboard when David called, “I really would prefer to make sure you get home safely.”

“If you wish,” she mumbled. The headache she’d mentioned was real and had become worse—no doubt from the time she’d spent crying after she’d found Aunt Lovina’s journal. If only she hadn’t read those horrible things her aunt had written. If she could just turn back the hands of time.

But if I hadn’t read the journal I might have married David—my own brother—and then …

No longer able to deal with her troubling thoughts, Elizabeth gathered up the reins and got the horse moving. She needed to get home so she could retreat to her bedroom and think things through. She needed to pray about this matter and decide how she should break her engagement to David. The most frigid of winters had never made her feel as cold as she did right now.

U
nable to face David, Elizabeth spent the next several days in bed, telling her father and stepmother, Abigail, that she was sick with a stomach virus. Truth be told, her stomach was upset. Food held no appeal, and she’d had to force herself to drink the chamomile tea Abigail had given her. Father had wanted her to see the doctor, but she’d insisted that it was nothing serious and would be fine in a few days.

I can’t stay in my room forever
, Elizabeth told herself as she climbed out of bed one morning.
I need to break my engagement to David, and I can’t put it off any longer. I need to do it today.

She wrapped the quilt from her bed around her shoulders and plodded across the room to the window. It was a dreary-looking day, full of dark clouds and a blustery wind that caused the branches of the elm tree near the house to brush against her window with an irritating scrape.

Elizabeth shivered and crossed her arms over her chest. It was cold in her room, and she was tempted to crawl back in bed under the warmth of the covers but knew she’d been confined to her room long enough. She’d made a decision before going to sleep last night and needed to follow through with it. She would get dressed, put Aunt Lovina’s journal, as well as a few clothes, into a satchel, and go downstairs for a cup of tea and a biscuit. Then she’d head over to the cabin, leave David a note, and stop on her way to the train station to see Helen, whom she’d decided would be her only confidante. She was glad Father had left on a business trip to New York this morning, and since Abigail had gone shopping, she wouldn’t have to tell them face-to-face that she was leaving. She was sure they wouldn’t have accepted her explanation and feared she may have broken down and told them the truth.

I must never tell them,
Elizabeth told herself.
It would bring humiliation on my family, and the shock might be too much for Father when he found out he’s not my real father at all.

Tears sprang to Elizabeth’s eyes. Was it possible that Father already knew? Could Mother have told him that she was carrying another man’s child when she married him? Oh, surely not. If Father knew this horrible secret, he’d never let on or treated Elizabeth any differently than he would his own flesh-and-blood child. He’d always been kind, affectionate, and eager to give her whatever she wanted.