The Christmas Portrait (21 page)

I came out with Pastor Simmons and stood beside him while he welcomed everybody to the church. I looked around, hoping to see Laramie and her parents. Daddy was sitting between Granny and Aunt Susannah Hope. On the other side of Granny, Uncle Luke and Aunt Lisa were sitting like they were glued together. Miss Evie was sitting down front with the pastor's wife, her blond hair shining in the candlelight.

After the pastor said his welcome, he turned to me. “And now, Miss Katherine Joy Harding will announce our Christmas pageant.”

I was right in the middle of my four lines when I saw Laramie and Mr. and Mrs. Fields come in and sit in the back row. She waved at me, and I waved back just a little and finished my lines. From the look on Granny's face, I did a good job.

Emily got the biggest part in the pageant this year. Her part was to read the story while the characters in costume acted it out. And at the right time, the choir would sing a song, and then everybody would clap.

Everything went along fine. Emily read her words clear and loud, and everybody remembered the words to the songs. Then came Chesler's turn to sing his solo.

He stepped away from the manger scene and stood in the middle of the stage, out in front of everybody. He looked like Grady covered in cotton balls. His ears were lopsided because he let the headband slip. But when that boy opened his mouth to sing, nobody thought about floppy ears or cotton balls. He closed his eyes, and what came out of his mouth sounded like Mama, just like it came from heaven. His voice was clear as a bell. And you could understand every word.

All this time I thought it kinda strange that a little boy sheep would be singing “All Is Well.” But tonight, for the first time, it made sense. Because of what Emily had read moments ago from the book of Isaiah:

That was going to be some kind of day when that happened. I guessed that was the end of the story that Mama knew, when God made everything all right.

I looked at Daddy, and he and Granny both were smiling and crying at the same time. When Chesler sang his last note, he just stood there like he had to wait until his soul came back to his body. And then he opened his eyes.

But not one person clapped. Not one.

I wondered if angel wings were fluttering all over that old church. Chesler, floppy ears and all, went back to his place and sat down at the manger scene.

The last thing on the program was the lighting of the candles. The ushers turned out all the lights, only they didn't blow out the candles in the windows. Pastor Simmons talked about light coming into a dark world on Christmas, and then he lit his candle from the Christ candle on the altar table. He told us to keep our candles burning until we got to our cars and to leave in silence. When we sang “Silent Night,” he started lighting the candle of the person at the end of every row. That was really something with everybody holding up candles in the darkness.

All the people got up out of their pews and walked up the aisle toward the door. Pastor Simmons was at the door still holding his candle and saying quietly, “Peace be with you and merry Christmas,” to everybody.

It was snowing a little when we walked outside. I held my hand around my candle to keep the wind from blowing it out. The pastor said to leave in silence, and most folks did. But when we got to our car, it was like the Booster Club for the high school football team was waiting on Chesler. That boy got more hugs and kisses and little old women crying over his singing.

Daddy had just cranked up the car when he saw Mrs. Crouch running down the sidewalk. “Wait, John, just wait.” She slowed down when she saw Daddy roll down his window. “Thanks, John, these organ shoes are going to be the death of me on this ice. I need to speak with Chesler.”

Mrs. Crouch took off her glasses and stuck her head in the window where Daddy was sitting. “Chesler, I couldn't let you get away without telling you that was the most beautiful singing I've ever heard in all of my seventy-six years, sweet boy. I didn't want you to be upset because nobody clapped.”

Chesler got a look on his face like this was news to him.

“Oh, child, the reason nobody clapped is because it was just so beautiful no one could move. No one could have even whispered after you finished singing; it would just have destroyed that special moment they didn't want to end.”

Daddy turned around to look at Chesler. “What do you say to Mrs. Crouch, Chesler?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Crouch.”

“John, you should be button-popping proud of both your children. And one of these days I know I'm going to look over the organ into the choir, and you'll be back in your seat.” She pinched Daddy's cheek just like he was a little boy. “I hope you Hardings have a very merry Christmas.”

“And merry Christmas to you too, Mrs. Crouch.”

I was watching Mrs. Crouch waddle back to the church when I spotted Laramie. “Daddy, there's Laramie. Can I just go tell her good night?”

“Sure, but hurry.”

I opened the car door and nearly skidded across the parking lot to catch up with Laramie and her mom. They were walking arm in arm, with Mr. Fields just ahead. I whispered loud since we were supposed to be silent. “Hey, Laramie, wait up.”

She turned around and saw me. “Hi, Kate.”

“I just wanted to say merry Christmas. Sure wish you and your mom and dad would come for Christmas lunch tomorrow. Granny'll have enough food to feed everybody. Won't you come?”

She turned to her mother. “Can we, Mom? Granny Grace cooks good.”

“Please, Mrs. Fields, please. You just have to come. My family has more presents for Laramie.”

“Okay, let's do it. I don't think I can say no to you girls on Christmas Eve. What time?”

“It's Sunday, so we come to church at eleven, then home for lunch. Want to meet us for church?”

“We'll see you then. And tell your granny I'll be bringing a dish.” Mrs. Fields opened the car and got in.

Laramie came closer and whispered, “You still going through with your plan tonight?”

“Yeah. Would you say a prayer for me that it'll work?”

“I will. I'm sorry I don't get to help you.” Laramie hugged me like a sister.

“Thanks, but it's something I really need to do myself. See you tomorrow.”

I walked back to the car and climbed in. “Guess who's coming to lunch tomorrow?”

Uncle Luke had it all figured out. “Wouldn't be Laramie and her parents, would it?”

Chesler clapped. He liked Laramie now.

Daddy said, “It'll be good to have extra folks around the table, then we won't be eating Christmas leftovers until New Year's.”

When we got home, Uncle Luke took Daddy's car and drove Aunt Lisa home. Daddy told Chesler and me to put on our pajamas and we could watch television for a little while. When it was almost ten o'clock, Daddy said it was time for all good children to be in bed.

So we headed upstairs like Daddy said. When we got to the top of the stairs, Chesler whispered, “You still gonna take Mama's present to her tonight?”

“Yeah, go to bed and be quiet so Daddy'll think we're asleep. I'll come to your room in a little while.” Just one time I hoped he'd do what I told him. He'd better.

I went to my room and closed the door and climbed into bed. I didn't think of any of the sweet things Mama told me to think about when I couldn't go to sleep because I had to stay awake. I heard Uncle Luke come in, and then he and Daddy came upstairs. Daddy opened my door just to check on me. He closed it when he thought I was asleep. I hope Chesler pretended as well as I did.

When I didn't hear anything else for a little while, I got up and peeked out my door. All the bedroom doors were closed, and the lights were out. I got my flashlight from under my bed and the scissors out of my desk drawer and laid them on my dresser. Before Mama went to heaven, she gave me her sewing box. Sometimes I sat at my desk and tried on her thimble and looked at all the thread and buttons and pieces of ribbon and lace. Mama said I was old enough to have her good scissors, and I was glad because I needed good scissors tonight.

I went to my closet and pulled out the toy chest Grandpa made me. I needed to stand on it to reach the box I painted for Mama. It was hidden behind my old dolls on the top shelf. I fished it out and put it on the dresser.

Mama taught me to brush my hair every night, so I did that next, wishing I had Mama's hair. Everybody talked about Diana Joy Harding's hair. Hers was long and dark red and curly and shiny, but I got Daddy's hair, brown and straight.

I looked in the mirror and pulled my hair over my shoulder. Then I took Mama's sewing scissors and snipped a lock of hair. I tied the hair with a piece of red ribbon from Mama's sewing basket, then I put it in the red box and closed the lid. Mama would like this.

I put on my clothes, three layers to stay warm. At eleven fifteen I crept out my door and took the red box and scissors and a marker and went to Chesler's room.

He was still awake. I turned on the lamp next to his bed and put the box on his flannel sheets.

“Just sit up, Chesler. You don't have to get out of bed.” I knew if he got out of bed, he'd make noise and Daddy would come.

“But I have to get up to put my clothes on. I'm going with you. I'm gonna do Laramie's part.” At least he whispered.

“No, you're not going with me. You're staying here. Now just sit up and be quiet.”

“Kate, you can't go by yourself. You know what Daddy would say.”

“So, what do you think he would say if I took you with me? You're not going, Chesler, and that's final.”

“But why can't you just put Mama's present under the tree like everybody else's?”

“Chesler, just think about it. Mama's in heaven. She's not coming by here tonight like Santa Claus to pick up her present and eat the cookies we left. I have to take it to church. God'll be there, and I've been asking Him to take this gift to Mama.”

“But it's dark and cold outside. Aren't you scared?”

“Maybe a little, but I have a flashlight, and there'll be people at church for the candlelight service. Now be still just for a minute.”

He pulled his head away. “Is this going to hurt?”

“Does it hurt when Daddy takes you to the barbershop?” Before he knew what happened, I snipped a couple of his red curls. He'd never miss them. “Now did that hurt?”

“No, but I don't want to do it again. This was just for Mama.”

“I know. Just for Mama.”

I handed him the note and the marker. “Here, sign this while I tie the ribbon.” I wrote the note myself. It said,

I put the note back in the box, tied the last piece of ribbon around it, and grabbed the flashlight from Chesler's bedside table. “Now I gotta go. I have to get there before the service is over or I won't even be able to get in the church.”

“Tell me again how you're going to do it. Will you be back so Santa Claus can come?”

I told him my plan again. “Yes, Chesler, I'll be back so Santa Claus will come.”

“But aren't you going to pray while you're there?”

“Yeah, and you pray too. Mama said God answers prayers, and I just know He would want Mama to be happy this Christmas. Now go to sleep, and I'll be back before the bumblebees buzz in the blossoms.”

Chesler giggled. “That's what Mama used to say.”

“Yeah, that's what Mama used to say.” I turned out the light and tiptoed down the stairs. The grandfather clock in the front hall was chiming eleven-thirty when I tucked the box underneath my sweater and put on my heavy coat. I made sure the front door wasn't locked when I closed it behind me.

C
HAPTER
N
INETEEN

T
HE COLD WIND
was blowing sideways, and my jacket was barely slowing it down. Granny Grace called this kind of night bone chilling. I only had to climb the hill to get to the main road, then around the corner past Aunt Susannah Hope's house, and then a few more blocks to the square. I covered up my face with my scarf and started walking. The moon was so bright on the snow I didn't need my flashlight. It would really be all right with me if the wind would stop blowing so hard though.

I hadn't walked too far when I could see the lights from the traffic on the main road up ahead. When I got to the top of the hill, there was a streetlight on the corner. I hid in the bushes for a few minutes until the cars stopped coming by. With a full moon, the streetlight, and the Christmas lights all down the street, somebody might see me.

I walked right past Aunt Susannah Hope's house. It looked like it was raining Christmas bulbs all the way around her front porch, and that big old pine tree in the living room window shined like it was the only Christmas tree on the whole block. The lights were still on, and it would be like Granny and my aunt to be in the kitchen finishing up the last dishes for tomorrow's Christmas lunch. If they knew I was out this late by myself, I'd be in time-out the rest of my life.